"Hey," I pull him close to hold his body against me as some tears already rolled down his face, and the emotions become too strong for him to hold them back.
"What's wrong?" I comb his hair back, but he brings his hands up to his face to cover it and not let me see the pain through his features. "I don't fucking know...I'm tired..."
"What's on your mind? Are you thinking about something?" I try my best to get to know what is the exact problem right now in a calm manner, but the sobbing I can hear from him tears me apart. He does not answer, but I remain silent while holding him tight and give him the time he needs to talk.
"I feel so useless and worthless...I feel like..." he chokes on his sobs and wipes his tears away, crying in my chest. "Like I don't fucking need to live 'cause I'm just an irrelevant person—"
"Don't say that," I cut him off, not bearing those types of words. "Do you know how much you mean to me, how much of an amazing person you are?" I repeat those words he often hears from me but never wants to believe. "You have no idea how much I'd be fucking suffering without you. You make my days better you're always here when I need someone to listen to me, you help me a lot with everything in my life, you understand me, you always know whenever I'm not feeling okay, and..." a sigh escapes me, feeling the pain on my chest and not knowing what to say more. "And even if y/n barely knows you, she really enjoys her time with you and finds you amazing as a person and friend."
He dries his tears, his sleeves soaking them one by one. I wish I were able to make him feel good, enjoy life, and realize how precious and special he is.
"And I love you," I wrap my arms around his neck to have my face near his, but he does not move, he receives all this physical comfort and revels in it. "I love you a lot lot lot," I make sure that he prints this into his brain, memorize those words, and do no doubt them. Since he is not talking anymore but doing everything possible to calm down, I press a kiss on his forehead and keep my eyes on him.
— Next day —
Saturday, September 25th, 2021.
10 am.
Junjun
< kook? ]
Junjun
< y/n? ]
Nounours❤
< I'm here:> ]
I check the texts I just received after waking up and joining the group chat that Hojun created for the four of us but do not feel very relaxed about this idea.
I feel like I am going to live so many embarrassing moments in this chat, I know it already.
Junjun
< great:D What about Kimoon? ]
[ I'm here too bb >
Junjun
< finally🥰 how are you both doing? ]
Nounours❤
< good and you? Did you sleep well? ]
[ fine and you? >
Junjun
< good and fine too, I slept like a baby, how about you? ]
I smile at the sight of this answer since I have not forgotten the fact that he slept in my arms for some time before I left his room.
Nounours❤
< I slept well too ]
Junjun
< good c: what are you all doing rn? ]
Nounours❤
< I'm drinking coffee, and you? ]
[ still waking up... >
Kimoon
< I'm here ]
Junjun
< I'm drinking chocolate milk so I'm happy. Finally Kimoon, so late as always🙄 ]
Kimoon
< bro you're the one who always come late no matter what it is for ]
Since I want to text y/n but feel too shy to do it in this chat, I leave for a few seconds and send her a private message.
[ what coffee are you drinking? >
< cookies and cream Frappuccino ]
[ give me some please :c >
< I'm in my pajama and too lazy to get changed to come to your room :) ]
[ that means I can come to yours? :> >
< I won't let you see me in my ugly pajamas ]
[ wdym? I'm sure your pjms are cute asf >
< it's a pair of shorts and oversized t-shirt that looks like its been used to towel the dishes... -_- ]
[ show me, I need proof >
She does not answer me right away, surprising me and raising my hopes. As soon as I see a picture loading in the conversation, I open it but come across one of her plushies that she held in a way to make it give me a middle finger.
[ well...I'm not complaining...I deserve it >
< you do, don't be a cringe f*ckboy ]
[ why do you censor fuck? Don't act like you're an innocent girl who never swears >
< I never do:) ]
[ sure, its not like I heard you say fuck and shit multiple times 😒 >
< that wasn't me ]
[ shut up :v >
I press onto the audio she sent in a few seconds only but fear the worst, and at the exact moment that a loud 'no', that she dragged out of her mouth, escapes my phone, I hurry to lower the volume but giggle, and I answer her with an audio as well.
"Girl, I can expose you in the chat right now so close your mouth," I end it and send it without listening to it again, and she receives it, but a few seconds are enough to get one back. "Expose what? You don't have a single thing that you can expose about me."
"Uhh..." I record this unnecessary noise but do not know what to say. "I do."
"Don't do that noise when you have a husky voice," she responds to me, both being dumb and not calling each other. I poke my inner cheek with my tongue but cannot get rid of the cockiness she just filled me with. "And why?"
Nothing gets sent anymore, even if she saw my audio, and I see her answer Hojun in the group chat, so I go back there to now have a perfect thing to expose.
[ answer me y/n >
Junjun
< answer what? ]
Nounours❤
< nothing, he's annoying me again, go and punch him please ]
[ I sent her an audio and she doesn't wanna answer anymore bcs she's shy :) >
Junjun
< what was that audio about? Tell me goddammit! ]
[ no >
[ y/n >
[ answer me or I tell him why you ignore me >
Nounours❤
< shut up>:( your voice just hort my ears ]
[ I hort your ears? >
Nounours❤
< hurt* its a typo little kid ]
[ you're the one who hort my ears with your loud "nooo" you spit into the mic >
Nounours❤
< you provoked me ]
[ sure. Don't try to change the subject >
Junjun
< guys, chill. Make love, not war :> ]
[ Hojun >
Junjun
< shit, you called me by my name :> ]
[ if you don't want me to come and choke you in your pillow, you shut up too >
Kimoon
< you know he's gonna like it ]
Nounours❤
< if we all shit up, who's gonna talk? ]
< SHUT* ]
< fck my keyboard ]
Junjun
< I love you, y/n, you're cute:)
[ sure, cute🙄 >
[ and you love me, no one else >
Junjun
< hm, as much as you only love me and no one else, right?:) ]
[ yeah... >
Junjun
< yeah, you want us to talk about it here maybe?
[ no >
Junjun
< Knew it. We all love y/n :) ]
< right Kimoon? Were gonna steal her from him cuz he's acting like a little bitch with her ]
Kimoon
< yeah ]
[ Me?! >
Junjun
< -_- so much happiness and enjoyment I can read through your words Kimoon ]
Kimoon
< what do you want me to say lmao?
Junjun
< Idk, something like 'yes, we love our pretty y/n' not just a boring and emotionless 'yeah' ]
Kimoon
< Jungkook's mad now ]
Junjun
< he's not ]
< right daddy?:3 ]
I purposely ignore him and leave him on read.
Junjun
< Y/n, call him baby, he's gonna wake up all of a sudden ]
Nounours❤
< I already did, he's a little baby who loves to sleep ]
[ who doesn't? >
Junjun
< see, he's awake when you're here ]
Nounours❤
< you have a point... ]
[ I always do >
Nounours❤
< hm ]
[ hmm :) >
Nounours❤
< hmm? :< ]
[ 😙<3 >
Junjun
< 🧍♂️ ]
Nounours❤
< I accept it today ]
[ what about giving me one? >
Nounours❤
< 😗 ]
Junjun
< 🧍♂️ ]
< can you flirt in private, please? My single ass is crying rn ]
[ come here if you want kisses too, and thanks my nounours<3 >
Junjun
< do you know what nounours means? ]
[ teddy bear, no need to try to flex >
Junjun
< :< ]
[ anyway, gotta take a shower >
Junjun
< I'm coming ]
My heart jumps out of my chest as my eyes made me believe for one second that it was from y/n.
[ I'm pretty sure you already took one >
Junjun
< yes but I'd take another one to be with you ]
[ I know that >
Junjun
< your shower is so big it could let the four of us take a shower together ]
Nounours❤
< really? ]
No way she is interested in what we are saying now.
Junjun
< it's big as heck, trust me. He and his roommate are lucky they got that room while I have a tiny bathroom and a shitty roommate:< ]
Nounours❤
< why? Is he mean? ]
Junjun
< he's an asshole:) I can never sleep, he doesn't give a damn about me, he invites his girlfriend every weekend and forget that I'm in the room, he passes me off and gets mad when I never do anything, so yeah, shitty roommate ]
Nounours❤
< I'm gonna kill that little shit, how dare he do that to you?😤 ]
Junjun
< kill him pls:( ]
[ guys, you're two babies, stop it, I'm gonna have to beat the shit out of him if he touches y/n, so I'll take care of it >
Junjun
< :>♡ ]
I smile at this cute dummy but hurry to leave my bed. I need to take shower, brush my teeth, and drink some coffee.
20 minutes later...
Now done with a long and relaxing warm shower, I towel my hair but sit down on my bed with no clothes chilling and feeling way more comfortable with no fabric against my skin. I check one more time the texts they are still sending in the group chat but lie down.
Junjun
< hey, can we all FaceTime? Kook will join us once he's back ]
Nounours❤
< sure^-^ ]
[ I'm here >
Junjun
< I missed you:c ]
I smile but tell him I missed him too, and a few seconds afterward, he invites me to FaceTime with him, and I join but make sure only my face and chest are visible.
"Are you naked?" he squints his eyes and gets closer to his screen, but I laugh, and y/n joins. "Yeah," I lick my lips and set my eyes on the girl who claimed she was not in good clothes enough to allow me to see her. I nibble on my bottom lip now that she is here and making me feel nervous with the camera that can expose all my emotions and take all my confidence away.
"Heyy! You're so cute in casual clothes like that," he compliments her and gets her to smile in a bashful manner. "Thank you."
"No need to," he checks his laptop, the sound of his favorite streamer echoing in the background. "Where the hell is Kimoon ag—" he gets cut off by the man's face appearing on our screen. "Ah. Here."
"While Hojun and Kimon are both talking, I fix my eyes on y/n but see that her eyes are remaining on the same spot as well, making me hope that I am the one she is staring at.
A smile growing on my face slowly reveals what I wish could be concealed, but I lick my lips again to erase it, and I run my fingers through my hair but gaze down at y/n's neck, watching her toy with her chain. At the memory of what I have read somewhere, I force myself to yawn and see if she copies my action, and once I cover my mouth with my hand, I catch her doing the same exact thing and letting me know she has been staring at me.
"Do you guys use your laptop?" I ask and take a peek at Hojun, but he nods. "Yep," he answers with the same word as y/n did, but Kimoon says the opposite, barely speaking.
"Alright, I'm gonna get mine," I drop my phone on the bed for the camera to be directed towards the ceiling, and I get hold of my laptop to switch it on, and grab my phone again while it is loading, but I hold it way lower than some seconds ago, and look down at the face I love to see every day.
"Kook," the cute boy voices out, and I glance at him. "Be careful with this angle," he warns me as I entered my password, and I grin but put my phone down on my computer, and I keep my face within sight. "We know what's underneath, and it looks like we're gonna suck your dick."
Y/n bursts into laughter behind her screen, quietly disappointing me with a dirty mind I thought she did not have. What if she is as nasty as Hojun? She always laughs at his dirty jokes, I am pretty sure she likes them. I am not complaining though, girls with this type of mind are always more fun.
"Why are laughing, y/n? Uh? You were quiet this whole time," I mention and grabs my phone again to look at her, but she tries to calm down and keeps her amusement inside. "I'm not doing anything."
"Sure," I do not say more about it since we are not alone, and I warn them that I am leaving to get on the laptop and feel more comfortable.
— One week later —
Friday, October 1st, 2021.
4:50 pm.
I stand in front of the gate after taking a shower and changing my clothes to look better for her, and I check my phone to answer her, this one who is apparently still getting her makeup done.
[ take all the time you need, no worries >
< im here in 5min ]
[ can't wait ü >
I patiently wait for her, so I take a picture to post it but add a caption to give some subtle hints to her that I know she will never get.
_ ❤ _
Only a few seconds after this is posted, Hojun sends me a text, and we both talk while I am all by myself, on a rock.
< have fun with your girl, you better make a move and kiss her ]
[ I'm not gonna kiss her yet, I take it slow >
< at this point it's not going slow anymore, the engine is off and you never turned it on -_- ]
[ I know what I'm doing, alright? I love this pace😤 >
< but too slow can be boring too ]
[ no, it's just the perfect rhythm. Slow can also mean amazing if you do it good >
< are we still talking about the same thing? ]
[ I don't think we are >
< that's what I thought ]
< where are u taking her tho? ]
[ first I'm taking her to the cinema, then a restaurant >
< what movie are you gonna watch? there's nothing interesting at the moment ]
[ I'll let her pick because I only found two movies that could be interesting, but if there is something she wants to watch, I'll just enjoy my time with her so I don't care what movie she picks >
< cute ]
"I'm here," the soft voice of the girl I have been waiting for takes my attention away from my phone, and I gaze up at her.