I woke up laying on the living room couch at home. Was I really passed out for the rest of the meeting? Footsteps sounded from the kitchen behind me and I knew immediately who it was. The man I have grown to hate.
He made his way around the couch and looked at me "Good, you're awake."
I sat up wincing from sore muscles. "Why? So you could perform another curse on me?"
"Serena." He spoke in his warning tone.
"Don't 'Serena' me! You're my father and you're suppose to protect me no matter what! Cursing me is not protecting me!" I got up and began to storm off towards my room.
"Serena." My father grabbed my arm before I could get too far. "Cursing you was protecting you. If I had not done it the dark lord would have cursed us both with no mercy."
"Mercy? You think you showed me mercy?" I looked at him with disgust. "I hate you." I shook my arm out of his grip and hurried up to my room.
Once inside I slammed the door shut and flopped into my bed and sobbed into my pillow. How could he do this to me? He caused me the worst pain I ever felt and then says it was all to protect me. This year at school was going to be truly terrible. I hate my father, Draco hates me, and I owe the dark lord a debt. Life just sucks. I continued to sob even past when I had no tears left. My sobs must have been so loud I did not hear the knock on my door or my fathers footsteps to my bed because suddenly there was a hand rubbing my back. My sobs quieted as I listened to the voice.
"When you were an infant you used to cry all night until I came in and held you." I may hate him, but his voice was soothing. I rolled onto my side and looked at him as he spoke. "I would sit in a rocking chair in the corner of the room and rock you for hours before you fell back asleep. You'd look up at me with that same look as I told you about your mother."
"Could you tell me about her again?" I whispered.
"Well, like you she was beautiful, smart, and stubborn."
"Don't you mean I got my stubbornness from you?" I smiled as he chuckled. Every time he told me about her he refused to claim that my stubbornness came from him.
"I love you Serena, and I would never do anything to hurt you unless it meant protecting you from a greater harm."
"How do I know I can believe you?" My smile faded away.
"You've known me you're whole life. Have I ever harmed you?"
"The cur-"
"Other than the curse."
I sat silently for a moment trying to think. Although I may complain about living with him sometimes, he truly has never hurt me.
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Over the next few days father wasn't home, he said he has to go out and do 'errands'. Normally I'd just go and spend my day with Draco, but now that he hates me, or acts like he does, that wasn't really an option anymore. I was forced to spend hours alone in the reading room reviewing how to make potions I learned long ago. The day before school was to start back up, father was at a meeting when there was a knock on the door. I tried to ignore it and return to my potions book, but the knocking became persistant and wouldn't stop. I groaned, put my book down and went to open the door.
"What?" The aggrivation in my voice was unintentional, it was just a habit. I recognized the face on my doorstep and wanted to take back in the aggrivation. "Oh, Goyle."
"Glad to see you're alright and awake." His face contained warmth. "May I come in?"
"Yes, of course." I stepped aside so that he could enter. How could I be so selfish? I hadn't written to Crabbe or Goyle to let them know I was awake. "Why'd you come by?"
"I wanted to see if you were okay, that's all. Is that such a bad thing?"
"No, I guess not. Just," I took a breath, trying to buy myself time to think of how nicely I could put this. "You know that you and me, we're not-"
"I know, I know. You like Draco more." I nodded and looked down. I felt awful that although Draco was treating me terrible, I was still choosing him over Goyle who obviously cared. This pang of guilt in me grew until it became unbearable. My arms wrapped around myself as I dropped to my knees with a scream. It felt like I was under the cruciatus curse again.
"Serena!" Goyle knelt beside me as the pain faded away. "What happened?"
I took a breath and tried to gather my thoughts. I wasn't cursed, no one but Goyle was here and he wouldn't enact the curse in a million years. So if I wasn't cursed, then why did it feel like I was? "I have no idea." Goyle grabbed my left arm and helped me up. I felt my sleeve slip up my arm as I began to gain my balance back on my feet, but I thought nothing of it. Once i was balanced, I watched as his eyes first glanced down, then looked down.
"Bloody hell." I followed his eyes down to my arm to where my dark mark rested. The skin around the mark was bright red and I was sure my face was too. I yanked my arm out of his grasp and held it close to myself. "You're a death eater??"
"A-About that..." I looked down trying to avoid his eyes when the front door opened. My eyes darted back up and I watched helplessly as father shoved Goyle out of the house. As he slammed the door shut and turned around, he noticed how I was holding my arm close to me.
"Let me see." He ordered. Although I was sure he meant well, his tone contained no kindness.
"I'm fine." I felt nerves course through my body.
"You're as pale as a ghost." He walked over to me and yanked my arm away from me and towards him. The mark was still bright red like it had been slapped numerous times just seconds ago. "Did you feel any pain?"
I merely nodded my head as I watched him examine my arm.
"The dark lord is still very angry with you. He's cursed you through your mark." He let go of my arm and walked into the reading room. "Why was Goyle here?"
"He was just checking on me."
"Did he see the mark?" As his eyes turned to mine, my eyes looked down as if that would keep the truth hidden. "Damn it Serena!"
"I didn't mean for him to see! I fell and my sleeve slipped while he helped me up!"
"That doesn't matter! Do you know what the ministry does to death eaters??"
"They put them in Azkaban." My voice came out soft but up afraid. My fear hit me when my voice hit my ears. It was as if just by hearing it made it real for me. "Please let me talk to him, maybe I can change his mind!"
"Change his mind?"
"Get him not to say anything. Please father!" I looked at him with begging eyes waiting for eternities for a response.
"Fine."
I nodded a 'thank you' and sprinted out the door after Goyle. Hopefully he had come here on foot, at least then I'd have a chance at catching him. If not, well... Either way it may already be too late. My feet had managed to carry me down the street until my lungs gave out on them. Placing my hands on my knees and using that to balance myself, I gasped for air and yelled out for him. I waited a few seconds but there was no response. "Goyle please! I want to talk!"
To my left, hushed whispers floated through the air followed by a less hushed shush. I turned to look at where the voices came from. At first I could not see anything, but after a few minutes my eyes adjusted to the darkness and I could make out two bodies. One more round than the other.
"Crabbe? Goyle?" I called. Neither one responded. I took a breath and walked towards them, confirming who it was standing before me. I first looked at Crabbe. "Did he tell you? Did he tell you about me?" Crabbe merely shook his head and ran off when I asked him to, leaving Goyle and I alone.
"What do you want death eater?" Goyle seemed angry, and I suppose he had every reason to.
"Are you going to tell the ministry...?"
"I might." His voice had a tease in it, as if he wanted me to make a deal so he would keep the secret.
"Please don't. I don't want to go to Azkaban, I can't!"
"Just tell me one thing. Why?"
I was going to ask 'why what', but I felt it was pretty obvious what he was referring to. "I got the mark for my father, so he would approve of me." I explained to Goyle how all my life I felt like I was a disappointment to him, like there was something missing from me. I knew the missing piece was mother, he did love her dearly, but it still felt as though there was a missing piece that could be somehow filled with the dark mark. When I finished, he nodded and began to walk off.
"Are you going to tell?" I called after him.
"No Serena." He waved back without looking. "Goodnight, I'll see you tomorrow."