As I was sitting on my bed my mind was racing, putting the puzzle pieces together. Everything is truly starting to make sense. The countless boxes, along with the headboard and mirror, she could afford it because she comes from an extremely wealthy family. Oh, and the sunglasses she probably had those on to avoid getting recognized. And Noir, she did say her brother bought her the car but still, he comes from the same wealthy family too. And it explains why she was so cautious with her words earlier and her reaction to the Beyonce painting. I would be shocked if my roommate showed me a painting of my mom to hang in the common room too. I still can't believe that I just met THEE Beyonce Giselle Knowles-Carter!
I can't believe she's Sasha's mom!
They seem so opposite, but so alike at the same time. Now that I know, I can really see so much of Beyonce in Sasha, like how they're both extremely private about themselves. I've really got to calm myself down, and not just for me but for Sasha too. Since she is really private about her life I bet she didn't expect for me to find out about her family this soon. I've got to keep this under wraps and not make a big deal about it. I already despise it when people talk about how my mom is the dean all the time. I can only imagine how Sasha feels when people make a big deal about her mom. Looks like it's time to relax, relate, release. I hunched my shoulders over and thought.
Relax.
Yes, you just met Beyonce and rambled in front of her but she's human just like me. She rambled in front of somebody too. She's just a normal person that has a cool job and reputation that gained her a lot of fame.
Yup, just a talented, amazing, regular person. Just like me.
I leaned my shoulders back and took a deep breath.
Relate.
Sasha had her reasons for not telling me. When she came to Howard she wanted to start a new chapter in her life just like me. It's definitely easier to start a new chapter when nobody knows that your mom is Beyonce. That's why she didn't tell me. She also didn't want me to freak out and tell people. I can relate because I know how it feels to have a well known parent.
Release.
I pushed my arms out beside me as if I were pushing away my worries, and I shimmied to get all the bad vibes off. Sometimes you've just got to shimmy off your worries and other emotions. I began to unpack my belongings, starting with my bedding and decorations, because I had more clothes and shoes than anything else, so I would much rather save that for last, maybe if I'm lucky by the time I get to that, my mom will be stopping by to check on me and she'll be able to help me with that.
I wonder if Sasha's mom is going to stay and help her unpack...
Despite my intense shock, I still didn't miss the tension between them. Sasha looked like a deer caught in headlights, more than just the shock of her mother being there. I wonder how their conversation is going? I have a feeling that the reason why her mom is here has something to do with her tear stained face when we first met. I'm hoping that her talk with her mom will go better then the talk I'll have to have with my mom later tonight.
Although I love my mom so much, sometimes we see things differently. When I was younger she always spoiled me, I had her wrapped around my little finger. As I started getting older though, she started building this image of me and no matter what I do, I can't get rid of it. It started when I was around ten or eleven. She started buying me clothes that I didn't really like. I'm not trying to be picky but the clothes were always different from my style. Always nice dresses and heels.
What ten-year-old you know out here wearing heels, I mean what in the Preteens in Tiaras?
Now don't get me wrong, ya girl loves some nice dresses and heels but not at that age! And that's all she would get me. It seems like every other day was a new pair of heels or a new dress, like that's the only acceptable form of fashion the world will accept.
Then the next thing was my "interests", she started dragging me with her to art shows and art galleries. Even though I didn't really like going to the art shows, I have to thank her because without those I wouldn't have found my passion. Then it had just started being little things that she wanted me to do. After a while, you just get tired of arguing and resisting, so you just say yes and do it.
The next part of her image reconstruction was the worst one, education. Every parent should make sure that their child is getting the best education that they can, but my mom was at an entirely different level. She always made me take the hardest courses that the school offered. If it was viewed as an advanced class, I was in it. I was taking college credit classes as a freshman. And in her eyes, anything less than a 90% was an F in her eyes.
It was so hard to keep up with all of the work. I never had time for a social life or a love life. Heck, I barely had time to sleep. It was always wake up, go to school, come home and study, then go to bed. My life was like the movie Groundhog Day, I was living the same day over and over again. 5 am to 2 am almost every day. I still don't know how I was able to stay awake and pay attention in class with how little I slept. My saving grace were the days and weekends where I wasn't at art shows and galleries. I spent those days at my dad's house when he was in town for a couple of months on business trips and such. He never had the pre-designed image that my mom had for me. He let me dress how I wanted and express myself how I wanted. He was never too hard on me for my grades because he knew mom was hard enough on me for them already, and he knew I was hard on myself too.
When I needed help with my work I would always go to my dad because instead of yelling at me for struggling he would help me understand. Due to this, he was also completely supportive when I said that I wanted to be a fashion designer. My mom on the other hand, not so much. She wanted me to pursue a career path that can bring in a lot of money and one that can always guarantee me a job wherever I go. Her dream job for me was going into nursing and maybe even becoming a neurosurgeon. I don't know who told her that I would be a good neurosurgeon or good anything in the medical field for that matter but it definitely wasn't me.
In a sense, it's funny, because she isn't nearly as overbearing towards my sister as she is towards me. I guess things were different with me because my sister's dad wouldn't dare let my mom go as crazy with her as she is with me. You see my sister's dad, Dwayne, is this super math genius who made a fortune in the early 90s after creating his own educational game and selling it to a Japanese tech company. He even ended up getting a job with the company, but it was in Tokyo, so he and my mom moved to Japan. It was also at the same time they found out my Mom was pregnant with my sister, Kayla. They stayed in Tokyo for the majority of Mom's pregnancy, but momentarily came back to the states so that she could be born in the US, also so all of their friends and family could be around for the birth.
Afterwards they came back and stayed for about 10 years, Mom being a happy housewife and Dwayne being a mega successful Tech Innovator, creating new games and concepts for the company. You could say they were living the dream...until the turn of the century. That's when the company became obsolete, it couldn't compare to companies like Sony, Microsoft, or Apple anymore. So, the company got bought out by a bigger one and everyone was subsequently given the boot, with a nice cushion of a stipend to soften the blow. Dwayne, my mom, and Kayla moved back to the states, much to their family's satisfaction.
The move back was hard for everyone; it was hard for Dwayne because it wasn't as easy as he thought it would be getting another job in the states like the one he had in Japan. It was so hard actually, that he eventually ended up going back to being a professor here at the college. That was especially hard for my mother, because she was back living a lifestyle she once loved, yet loathed, because they were really struggling financially. They weren't poor by any means like they were the first time, but they also weren't well off like they once were either. They had gone from upper class, to middle to lower class, and that had took a toll on their relationship. I know people say money can't buy love or happiness, but clearly they haven't met Whitley Gilbert-Wayne. She was born into money, then the rug was pulled out from under her for a while, making her have to become a working girl, but then she was able to go back to the luxury lifestyle she once lived, only for the rug to be snatched again. Dwayne came from humble beginnings so while it affected him, it didn't affect him as much as it affected my mom. If you ask me, the rug being snatched the second time is really what made my mom the way she is today. Needless to say, their marriage took a huge hit, so huge my mom filed for a divorce.
The divorce is what made the transition hard for Kayla. She was ten years old, in a completely new environment that was the biggest culture shock for her, and to make matters worse, her parents were on the verge of a divorce. So, she did what any other kid her age would have done in her situation- she acted out. Her grades suffered, her attitude had gotten worse, she didn't have any respect for her elders. In mom's words she was as bad as the students she taught her first year as a teacher. It was so bad it was pushing them further apart. They were considering shipping her off to stay with our Grandma Marion, but the very thought scared her into being a good girl. I don't blame her; I love Grandma Marion but she's like a mom 3.0, there's only so much you can take before feeling like you're about to lose it. And it's only that bad because we took on the personalities of our fathers and not Mom or Grandma.
Thank goodness for that.
You're probably wondering, how do you know all of this, you weren't even born yet!
I watched it all go down from my mom's Fallopian tubes, of course.
Just kidding.
The way my mom and Dwayne's lives are, you'd think it was a plot for a tv show or something, more dramatic and entertaining than the average human life. Not only that, it seems like everyone knew exactly what happened so it was like hearing the same story, but from five different voices. At this point I knew the story so well that on the nights I couldn't sleep, I'd just retell it to myself, and before I know it I'd be out like a light. Works like a charm every time.
You're probably also wondering, when and how did I get in the picture?
I'm glad you asked. To make a long story short, my dad was one of my mother's old boyfriends, who could always supply her with the lifestyle she's always been accustomed to. They were together for a while, and Mom was even ready to take it to the next step with him. She thought for sure they were going to be married, but they broke up during a fancy dinner. Mom thought he was going to pop the question and she was more than ready to say yes, but instead of a proposal to be wed, my dad instead proposed they share a bed, by moving in with him. So they ended things after that, and that's when she fell in love with Dwayne. My dad even made a reappearance while they were together, and my mom always felt drawn to him, I'm not sure if it was because she wondered if he was the one who got away or always wondered what could have been, but she went on with her life with Dwayne until the divorce, that's when my dad made another reappearance when he came to town on business. Let's just say that thought must have always stayed in her mind, and seeing him again made her want to test it out, because a harmless dinner as old friends turned into a short fling, that later led to me.
That was pretty much the nail that sealed the coffin of the infamous love story of Dwayne and Whitley. Well, at least for a while. My mom and dad were together for a little while, but after some time they realized they just weren't meant for one another, so they ended things but they still remain friends to this day, and not just for the sake of me. My mom only felt truly in love with and connected to Dwayne because of course, true love never dies. That being said, even though they went their separate ways for all of my childhood and most of my adolescent years, eventually they found their way back to one another. They aren't married but they have been together on and off for the past few years. Hey, whatever makes them happy, and this arrangement makes them very happy, probably because they aren't around each other 24/7...even though they're kinda around each other 24/7 since they work at the same place, and it doesn't matter that this is a big university, it's still an HBCU, and at HBCUs, it might as well be one big family reunion.
By now I had decorated my room to my liking; I'd hung up my framed photos, set up my mirror and vanity, put my bed on risers and pushed my desk underneath because let's face it, who actually studies in their room? Now the room doesn't feel as cramped, and I'd much rather use the extra space to create a cozy little nook with the lamp, rug, and comfy beanbag chair with a couple of plants I brought to tie it all together. Every now and then I'd hear laughter coming from Sasha's room and every time it would make my stomach flip because I was still trying to wrap my head around the fact that Beyonce herself was in my dorm room, and my roommate's mother! This is like a once in a lifetime occurrence; I felt like this was a reward from the universe for enduring the mother it gave me. Even if this was my only time meeting her, that's enough to last a lifetime. I just hope I didn't make too bad of a first impression and she doesn't think I'm some lunatic or something.
After I finished setting all of that up I took a step back to observe my hard work, smiling widely at the results, "Nice, very nice," I said to myself, "Alright, time to tackle my clothes."
I began unloading my clothes when I heard keys jiggling in the lock out in the main room. I put the blouses I was holding down as I went towards the door, and I opened it the same time my mom was walking in, with that signature mischievous smile of hers, "Hi Jelly Beannnn!" she greeted as she entered, closing the door behind her, "How's getting settled coming along, and what can I do to help?" she asked rubbing her hands together like she was more than ready to get them dirty.
Yeah, see...we're going to have to talk about that.
Although I'm happy to see my mom, I'm really going to have to invest in one of those extra precautionary door stoppers that I can put either in the lock or on the knob to keep people from coming in. I get that she's the Dean, and my mom, but I'm not the only person who lives in this room and no one likes for anyone who has a key to your room but doesn't live in said room coming in unannounced at any time. It's an invasion of privacy. Now Mom is used to popping in on me at any time but she can't do that now, it's not fair to me, however I have to take it, but it's definitely not fair to Sasha.
I gave her a tilted look, "Mother, now you know I'm more than happy to see you, but you can't just come in unannounced like this. It makes people uncomfortable," I said glancing at Sasha's closed door before walking back into my room, my mom following close behind.
She gave me a look, "Oh? So you have a problem with your mother coming to check in on you now?" she said as she closed my door, walking over to my vanity and taking a seat, "Don't you know, there are some freshmen here that only wish they could have their parents this close to them? You're in a different place, a different world!" she exclaimed, "That can be really scary for a lot of people. On your own, away from home, fresh out of the comfort of Mommy and Daddy's security blanket and into the cold, dark world of adulthood, 8 a.m. classes, and terrible cafeteria food. You are one of very few lucky ones who still has their security blanket within reach and you're pushing it away?" she asked trying to make me feel guilty, but after living all of my life with her as my mother and Grandmother Marion as my grandma one could say I was born ready for it.
"No mother, I'm not. That's not what I'm saying and you know that's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is that while you may think you being so close to me is such a great thing for me, and I too agree that it is, it may not necessarily be so great for the other people living in this room, or this dorm. The Dean lurking around more than usual on account of one person, for reasons they don't know about will just have everyone on edge and for why? Because some poor little freshman misses her Mommy, but since she's the dean at the college she goes to she has her at her disposal at any and every moment. Because if I'm not mistaken, I go to my security blanket, it's not supposed to come to me.
Believe me, I don't want to be the cause of Height Hall having the honor of seeing you more than usual. Besides, you can't always be at my beck and call, you have a university to run. Your goal is to make everyone comfortable, and not speaking for me because I'm your daughter, I would be really uncomfortable if my 0Dean were to pop up in my room unannounced every now and then, for whatever reason. Furthermore, it's an invasion of privacy and maybe just a slight abuse of power," I said holding my index finger and thumb to emphasize my point.
She looked at me long and hard before letting out one of those humorless chuckles, "Well, you seem to have all the answers now do ya? Well if you don't need me then I guess I'll go on about my business. Don't want to spend too much time in one place, now don't we?" she facetiously asked as she stood up and began to leave.
I rolled my eyes as I stopped her, "Oh Mother please, stop being so melodramatic, that's my job," I teased with a playful look, "You know I'm right, and I don't want you to think or feel that I don't want you coming around or that I don't want you to be present, because I do, I really do, and like you said I am very lucky and I am very thankful that I have you here, but I can't be selfish. If I had my own room this wouldn't even be a topic of conversation, but since I don't I have to be considerate of others. I mean, how do you think I would feel if I was in Sasha's shoes?" I asked, and after it came out of my mouth I almost laughed, considering she's literally in the same predicament as me right now.
Her eyes widened for a second before shaking her head, "Trust me, if she were in your shoes, we'd have to make tuition as high as Harvard's to make sure our students would be here for an education and not a meet and greet," she said and I frowned.
"What's that's supposed to mean?"
Did she know who Sasha's mother was? Wait, she's the Dean, of course she knows who Sasha's mother is. She just doesn't know I know who she is. Nor can I let her know, it's best for her to find out I know from Sasha or her mother myself rather than from me, because I respect them and their privacy too much to violate it the first chance I got.
Her eyes widened as if she realized she said too much and she became flustered as she tried to backtrack, "Oh, it's not supposed to mean a thing! I was just speaking hypothetically," she said waving off her previous statement, "I'll say this, I admire your kindness towards your roommate. I want you to watch out for her, she's younger than the rest of the students here and in a lot of ways you two are floating in the same boat. I'm not saying become her best friend, but I am saying you're sharing a room for a year, make the best out of it," she advised. "But enough about that, I didn't come to discuss hypothetical situations, I came to help you move in, so let's do that!" she said deflecting, but because I too didn't want to get myself caught up with hypothetical situations.
"Yes, let's! And I'm glad to say you showed up at the perfect time because I was just about to get into this mountain of clothes that's much easier to climb with four hands instead of two, so let's get started. If we're lucky we can finish early enough to get dinner at our favorite place?" I bargained and she smiled her snide little grin before nudging me playfully as she walked over to my bed and grabbed a handful of clothing.
"Alright my dear, I'll help, and you'll pay," she countered, "I know you're good for it, as much time as you spent with your father," she said and I laughed.
"Ok, ok, it's the least I can do for your lovely generosity. You've got a deal," I said, just as another round of laughter from Sasha's room rang out, but this go around you could hear her mother's laugh clear as day, as well as someone else. It sounded louder than the last few rounds, so that could only mean they were in the main room.
My mom whipped around once she heard it, "Who's that?! It's the first day and she's already having a housewarming party?" she accused and I looked at her oddly.
"Uhh, not quite, and in her defense, there's no rule against having someone over. I currently have someone over," I pointed out in a duh tone, and she waved me off.
"That's different, I'm your mother," she said as she went to the door.
I let out a deep breath, yeahhhh...not different at all actually.
I followed behind as my mom opened the door, fully prepared to be, well, my mom, but she stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Mrs.Carter standing in the middle of the room, amusingly enough, holding the painting of herself. I held back my laugh at the look on my mom's face, she looked like a deer caught in headlights.
Mrs. Carter looked up at my mom and smiled, "Oh hello, you must be Dean Gilbert-Wayne. I've been looking forward to meeting you."
§·§·§
Oh, hello! Didn't see ya there.
It's been a while, did ya miss me?
I missed yall, like a whole lot!
What did you think of the chapter, I'm a lil rusty, but shout out to Superflexigirl for starting this out for me and getting me back into the groove of writing this story. It's been a long time coming and after a bit of revision and restructure I'm happy to say this story is out of the literary graveyard.
Thoughts on
Julia?
Whitley?
What do you think will happen next?
Talk to me!
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Until next time,
Peace and blessings.