Edward's POV
Bella didn't come to school today and I couldn't figure out why. She may have gone to hunt but her eyes were a bright golden last night, she couldn't possibly be thirsty. I knew she was at home, probably thinking about her parents. It was stupid of me to ask her such a question last night. I triggered her memories and now, I didn't even know if she would come back to school.
"Calm down, Edward. She will be back next week." Alice assured me as we walked into the house. Alice drove us back home from school as I didn't have the mood to drive today. I gave her a nod and walked to my piano room. I closed the door and turned on the lights.
Bella's smell still lingered in the room and I went to sit at the exact same place she sat last night.
I couldn't help but think of her since she left. She had gone through so much in the past 50 years, it was remarkable. She was the strongest woman I've seen to live among the Volturi and come out, resisting human's blood. She was smart and downright the most beautiful goddamned creature in the world. The image of her playing the piano replayed itself in my head again and again. Oh, how I would love to see her right now.
I held my head in my hands and pictured her brilliantly colored golden eyes. The pure thought of being able to see her on Monday was my motivation to get through the weekend. I was bewildered at how this girl made me feel so vulnerable. Nobody has ever made me feel this way, ever.
Her thoughts gave me motivation to play a song, a brand new song for Bella. I played a few chords on the piano and created a melody with Bella in my mind. The sheer thought of her inspired me and I came up with a whole new song in under half an hour. I played it over and over, correcting a few notes here and there and making a couple of amendments. It sounded perfect for her, and I hope she would be able to hear it one day.
I brought my newly written song up to my room and placed it on my music shelf. I played a random CD on my stereo and relaxed on my couch bed. I could hear Emmett and Jasper playing on the play station below. Rosalie was painting her nails and Alice was shopping online with Esme as usual. The disgusting smell of nail polish floated up till here. I wrinkled my nose.
I looked around my room and thought of how perfect it would be if Bella lived here with us. I could imagine her playing video games with the guys or painting her nails with Rosalie. I could even see her sitting with Alice and Esme, planning shopping trips and doing whatever girls do. She might even be with Carlisle, talking about medical researches. She fitted perfectly in this household, and especially with me.
Thoughts of her invaded my mind again. The first time I saw her was truly the best moment of my existence. Everything about her attracted me - Her chestnut brown hair that flowed all the way down to her mid back, the huge curls at the bottom of her hair that bounces whenever she walks, the way she walks like she owns the whole place, the way she carries herself with everyone around her and my favorite part - the way she mutters curse words under her breath. She was beautiful and I wanted her to be mine. These thoughts shocked me but I wasn't afraid. Bella definitely had a hold on me and I wanted to be with her right now. I didn't know what these feelings were but I wanted to find out.
~~~~
"Carlisle?"
"Yes Edward, come on in." Carlisle motioned for me to come in to his study and sit on the chair that was opposite him. I sat down and crossed my arms.
"Anything the matter?" He asked.
"I don't know." I admitted. I didn't know what was wrong with me.
What do you mean you don't know?
"It's Bella... She's doing something to me." I replied his question that was in his mind.
Carlisle had a confused look on his face. "Son? What's going on?"
I hesitated before answering him. "I've these strong feelings for her. I can't stop thinking about her since she left. And all day and night, she has been in my thoughts. I don't know what's happening." I admitted, looking down.
Carlisle laughed. "Son, this is what love feels like. I understand if it's a little overwhelming but that's how it is with us, vampires." Images of Esme filled Carlisle's mind as he spoke. "We feel a hundred times more than a normal human for any type of feeling. Our kind of love is the strongest kind there is. Don't be afraid, let it happen. I'm sure Bella will feel the same way about you."
"What if she doesn't? What if it ends badly?"
Embrace it son, don't be afraid. You deserve this after a century of being alone.
I smiled at Carlisle's thoughts. He truly was like a father to all of us.
"Thank you, Carlisle. You've been a great help." He smiled again as I got up to leave.
"Anytime, Edward."
I left his study and flew up to my room. I was thinking so much about Bella that my room started to smell like her even though she had never stepped into my room before.
The urge to see her was getting stronger and before I knew it, I jumped out of my window and ran down to Bella's house. Her smell was still fresh from last night and I followed it right to a two storey house just at the end of Smith avenue. I heard Elton John playing on the radio and Bella singing along to every line of Philadelphia Freedom. I smiled as I listened to her musical voice an octave higher than the original pitch. I liked her version of the song better, hands down.
I walked, in human speed to her house and knocked on the door. I had no idea what to tell her but all I knew was that I needed to see her right this second. I heard her lower the volume of the radio and walk over to the door.
"Edward?" Bella was surprised as she saw me at the door.
"Bella." I smiled and Bella seemed starstruck for awhile. I waved my hand in front of her face and she blinked, smiling as she looked down.
"Do you want to come in?" She asked and I nodded a little too enthusiastically. She stepped aside to let me in and she closed the door behind us. The house was painted yellow throughout and pictures of her parents hung on the wall. The floor was made of wood and she had her very own piano at the front of the living room. She walked over to the couch and looked over at me. I followed her and sat down on one of the couches. I looked into the kitchen and saw that it was painted white.
I couldn't believe that Bella had done all these within a few days. "You've an amazing house and definitely impressive architecture skills." Bella smiled.
"Thank you. My parents would have liked it this way. My mum always wanted the sun inside our house so that it will seem bright in here every day."
I stared at her as she looked around the house herself. She was proud of herself for doing this for her parents and I was crazily impressed by her. She was amazing in every way possible.
"So what brings you here?" She asked, shifting her gaze to me. I looked away as I stumbled for an answer. But I sucked at lying so I told her the truth.
~~~~
Bella's POV
"I wanted to see you." Edward whispered.
"Ah, this is bad." I muttered to myself as I closed my eyes. "Edward, you can't do this to yourself."
Edward seemed confused as he looked up at me. "What?"
"I can see it in your eyes. You're falling for me. Please don't." I pleaded.
"Bella, I really like you." Edward confessed.
"You can't! I deserve to be alone, Edward. Don't do this."
Edward's eyes filled with pain instantly and I looked away, I couldn't bear to look at him like his.
"Why do you say that?" He asked after staying silent for a whole minute.
"Because, it's true. It's my fault that my parents are dead. I deserve to be alone for the rest of my life!" I almost screamed.
Edward came over to me and held my hands. "You're wrong. It wasn't your fault Bella, what are you saying."
"I let them leave three days before schedule. If only they stayed for even a day longer in Phoenix, they would be alive." I took my hands out of Edward's grip. "I was the one who persuaded my mum to move. If I didn't do all the convincing like an idiot, we would still be a family. I'm such a fool." I held my head in my hands.
Edward tried to pull my face up to see him but I didn't allow it. I could feel Edward's hands as he stroked my hair and my face. His touch instantly made me feel comforted and safe. I yearned to bury my head in his chest but I stopped myself.
"Bella, look at me." Edward ordered and I complied. I raised my head slowly to meet his eyes. "You're not at fault, all right. You should really give yourself some credit you know. You survived 50 years as a vampire and even a 'vegetarian' one at that! You had no help or whatsoever. You're almost as great as Carlisle." Edward whispered as he held my hands and looked down at me. "Bella, nobody deserves to be alone. Come live with us. You'll see for yourself." He offered.
"No I can't, I'm sorry. You are all great people but I can't fit myself into your family like that." I muttered. "You should really go Edward, I would like to be alone." I said as I got up from my seat. Edward was stunned for a moment but got up eventually and left for the door. He took one hard look at me before he left.
"We will always be here for you Bella, I know I will be." He promised as he walked out and closed the door behind him.
I dropped to my knees and dry sobbed for what seemed like hours. I've been pushing away people for the past decades and now, I'm even pushing away Edward. My Edward.
I couldn't deny that I had feelings for him, I've had that electrifying feeling within me ever since our eyes met. He wasn't like any other vampire I've met in my entire existence. His presence alone made me feel safe and protected, why was I pushing this away too? I hugged my knees and rocked back and forth till I eventually stopped whimpering.