You bid good night to the bus driver whom you came across often when working this shift that you finally had brought to an end.
The streets in this early morning hours usually were quite and along with them so you used to be, but this time your giggles kept filling the air as you walked towards away from the bus station, having Jimin's silly and funny comments bringing you a smile on your face just like they had did throughout all your shift and your way home.
"I never thought of him like that. You ruined his image in my head forever." Your face was full of joy despite the fact that you left him hear a complain for he had dared so casually compare the poor guard that worked on the hotel with Donald Duck, just because of the way his lips fell out and his voice sounded.
"What do you mean? I made his imagine better. Donald Duck is freaking famous." Jimin argued on your earpiece and you shook your head despite the fact that he couldn't see you.
"Aren't you tired,I wonder. You have been blubbing all night long. Don't you plan to get some sleep?" You questioned him, despite the fact that it turned out that having him virtually with you, wasn't that bothersome as you had originally thought. No matter how fun he was being however, you couldn't help but be aware of his physical state and as such you had mentioned to him to go sleep quite a few times, but he had brushed you off by driving your attention elsewhere.
Yet this time,he just fell quiet at the other side of the line and as you kept walking on the pavement, with your hands inside your pockets and your Jacket zipped up well in order to keep the cold out, you couldn't help but halt your feet and withstand the chill air for more than you would have if you would have rushed towards your apartment building that was already at sight.
"What's wrong?" You dared to ask, for his silence had managed to worry you this time and Jimin laughed a bit, intending to turn the situation into a joke again, but as he parted his lips, to say something silly, he found himself hesitating.
He looked at the screen of his laptop, taking sight of the road that was laying ahead of you and as he noticed that you had halted your feet, he couldn't help but be honest.
"You know... when I am in a weak state physically, it tends to be easier for them to take over me... and I..."
He didn't complete his sentence however you understood well what he wanted to say. He was afraid.
"It's okay then. We can stay up together. I can go one more night sleepless. It won't be the first time anyways." You started walking again as you responded in the most nonchalant tone as you could manage for you didn't want to come off as if you were pitying him because you weren't.
You just understood the simple fact that you couldn't change nor you will try. Such a fear was not something someone could erase with simple words after all. And even if someone could, it had to be someone that deeply feels for him, and that wasn't you and to state otherwise would only come off as hypothetical.
"You really don't mind listening to me speaking about nothing and everything for the next 24 hours?" He questioned and you smiled widely before you proceeded to admit to him a fact that most likely no one else knows.
"It's been years, I haven't had this much fun. Doing ordinary things at that. It may sound strange but surprisingly enough you are quite entertaining."
"Please, what do you mean by surprisingly enough? Just because I haven't had the chance to play in a comedy yet, that doesn't mean I can't be hilarious." Jimin smiled to the screen as he caught himself feeling regretfully over the fact that he couldn't see your face right now.
"I don't doubt that. What I mean is that you are funny without the need to act as someone funny. The real you is entertaining." You clarified your words right as you started running and made it into your apartment building and a wave of warmth that made you leave an pleasurable exhale.
You walked towards the elevator while feeling a bit silly over your rush for you were expecting a teasing comment to come from him, yet Jimin fell quiet again.
The ongoing silence created a weird feeling inside you as you entered the elevator and pressed the button to your floor. Thoughts started swirling on your mind, for you had briefly forgotten what was the last thing you told to him, for if you remembered maybe you would know why he fell quiet again. Had you said something triggering unconsciously?
"How do you know that this is the real me?" He voice sounded in your ear right as the elevator's door left you free and you stepped out of it while your mind got stuck at the sudden question he made.
"You can't be sure now can you?" He added as he stepped out of the bed where he was laying so far with his laptop on his lap.
"Don't feel bad. I can't be sure either. It's the exact opposite actually. I am the one that doubts my identity the most." Jimin slowly brought himself to stand over the mirror you had on one of the surfaces of your bedroom walls and he forced a smile on his lips as he watched over his reflection.
"What kind of doubts?" You dared to ask as your footsteps slowed down, feeling as if you weren't ready to face him right now, with this kinda conversation going on for imagining his feelings was proving impossible for you and the moment itself felt heavy for him and as thus he would most likely expect some comforting which you weren't sure if you could give in a heartfelt manner.
"There's moments I feel happy then I question if this feeling is truly mine. When I am sad, is it really me that is sad? When I am kind, generous or entertaining. When I simply exist and look at my reflection in the mirror. I often wonder...is it really me the one that truly exists?" Jimin was caught up on his own thoughts as he reached his hand towards his reflection and once his finger came in contact with the cold mirror, he retrieved his finger and stared at it, as if he was questioning if he was the true owner of this body of his.
"It's you." Your voice reached his earpiece sounding rather confidently, making his head turn towards the door as he knew that you must be somewhere near.
"You are the real one so you are the only one among all those characters inside you, that truly exist." You added as your feet halted before your door and you brought your hand out of your pocket and slowly went over to press your password and unlock your door.
"How can you be so sure?" He asked you as he smiled and walked out of your room, thinking of welcoming you back by your doorstep.
"Just...a gut feeling." Was the only reason you could give him, for you didn't know him well enough to be sure about anything related to him but when he was like that, when he was himself, he felt real. He felt like a human with depth and logic. He had capacity to feel and understand others while the other personalities you had met of him, despite the brief encounter with them, they left you an impression of emptiness. Those sides of him were definitely real and powerful, scary and overconfident but unlike Jimin they didn't seem to think about anyone else but themselves. Or so were your conclusions about those few personalities of his you had happened to meet.
"Just a gut feeling?" He asked you right as you pushed the door open and entered inside, his sudden appearance, making you smile a bit as you close the door behind you and approached him.
"It may not sound as a convincing argument but I will stand by it. You can trust me on this. You are the real one." You looked him straight in the eyes, surprising your own self over how confident you sounded over a topic you knew nothing about but strangely, seeing him right before you as you were,made that slight fear -you had earlier of sounding hypothetical over trying to comfort him- vanish. For you weren't speaking of anything you didn't know nor you were trying to pretend to be anything you weren't. All you did was utter your truth and claim your belief over your own feelings, hoping that would also end up being enough to reassure his troubled mind as well.
You extended your hand towards him without much thought, considering that a slight physical tough may comfort him more than your failing words and he took hold of it and used it to pull you closer to him to your surprise.
You stared at his face that now was closer than before, his face empty of any facial expressions which left you feeling instantly a bit alert.
"I have a gut feeling about you too, Y/N" Jimin stated and you left your face express your curiosity right before you asked him about what his gut feeling was telling him.
"It says that you are dangerous and I should most likely get away from you for you are gonna hurt me one day. I can already see it...Can you?" His orbs looked in yours as if he was searching for something while his hand held onto yours still in a gentle way.
"I won't betray you. I am not that kind of person." You retorted with a soft tone of voice as unconsciously his gaze had got you in a daze. However you still meant your words for you had given him your word that you will help him find out who was after him and you wouldn't publish that article about his affair with Mrs Yoon. No matter how things go down, you truly intended to keep your agreement with him and somehow the fact that he felt cautious of you, felt a bit disappointing.
"Funny how that statement makes me feel like I would like you to do so..." Jimin smiled softly, leaving out of his mouth those perplexing words that got you to raise an eyebrow at him and miss the fact that he had brought his other hand and had left it slightly caress the side of your cheek.
"Who knows... maybe a back stub from someone as nice as you, might leave me actually feeling something." He added right before he turned around to leave but halted and looked over his shoulder at the still and confused you.
"Hurry up Y/N. We have some more entertaining things to do to keep us both awake" He added, the vibe of seriousness washing off of him instantly and returning to the enjoying one he had been radiating all night while talking over that earpiece.
"Okay... Can you get less creepy though. I would really appreciate it." You decided to be straightforward with the occupance as he definitely had those switching moments way too randomly and sometimes they did left you feeling uncomfortable, as you were at that instant.
"Just get your ass on the bed and cuddle me. We watching a romance movie." Jimin uttered as he was walking back to your room, a sly smile dancing on your lips as he purposely had suggested something that would most likely trigger a strong reaction out of you.
"Hell no!" Your shouting voice reached his ears and he couldn't help but break into a fit of laughter that made him hug the sides of his body that pained him.
I think you are the entertaining one Y/N for you make me smile through hell.
Jimin thought to himself as he briefly allowed his face to portray the strong pain that had imprisoned his body but had also fueled his pride, enough to make himself pretend even while he was alone, that he felt nothing.
And he surely would like to master that someday. The art of being emotionless. The beauty of dancing through his endless inner pain that could never stop and be able to ignore it, to the outmost extend that would allow him to erase its existence and redefine the truth.
For truth was what his reality was made off and his, sure was too full of things he couldn't erase nor control. However he could control his feelings and senses and if he was to one day manage to erase them completely then he would have succeeded at changing his reality too.
He would have succeeded at setting his suffering soul free, of the torture that his human nature has been mercilessly caging him into.
---To be continued...
{not proofread, so kindly ignore any mistakes till I do XD or kindly point them out, whichever you prefer XD }
Hope you enjoyed this chapter. See you very soon again~