26
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"what flavor would you like, sungie?"
jisung paused for a moment and replied; "vanilla, please." he requested, forcing out a small smile.
hyunjin gladly returned it and turned back around to face the cashier of the ice cream place, "one vanilla and one chocolate please." he said.
the cashier nodded, "anything else?"
"nope, that will be it. thank you." hyunjin smiled, fishing out his wallet from the back of his pocket and handing the required amount of dollars. he exchanged it for the two small cups of ice cream and handed one to jisung as they exited the small ice cream place.
jisung quietly took a spoon of the dessert in his mouth, trying not to make his lips fall into a frown immediately. he'd always grown to find it hard to eat whenever he's in a depressed mood- and he couldn't show that he was in this current state because he didn't want the date his boyfriend had planned to fail.
"how is it?" hyunjin asked with a smug as he admired his boyfriend. but, what he didn't try to point out was the depressiveness in his expression.
"good."
hyunjin wasn't dumb. he knew something was up with his boyfriend. besides, he'd dated the male for at least two years now and could easily tell he wasn't at his best.
so he tired to brighten up the mood by starting a conversation, "you know, on the first day of my job, i took seungmin to his favorite ice cream cafè because he eats when he's not in a good mood." he smiled on the remembrance. "i actually was proud of myself because that night, he seemed way more nicer after he ate."
"mhm." was all that jisung responded him with. his eyes glanced at the concrete floor they walked on, trying to hide the pain buried in them. it was probably the hundredth time the conversation they held was about seungmin.
and that continued for almost a week. since hyunjin claimed he was taking a break from being seungmin's bodyguard, he was trying to get back close with his boyfriend. but something didn't feel right it jisung's point of view. he could easily see through hyunjin's feelings, better than hyunjin could himself. but that's what pained him. he didn't know whether he should be thankful towards hyunjin- and that he voluntarily wanted to take a break and spend time with him- or feel sick to the stomach when he realized how hyunjin brought up seungmin in all their conversations.
he was quiet the whole time, and he even thought hyunjin had lost feelings towards him at the beginning but as time passed by with them spending more and more time together, he realized that it was in fact true. as much as he didn't want his fear to become reality and as much as it pained him to pretend like his feelings towards hyunjin were existent, he suffered a lot. a whole week, he'd been kissing hyunjin like he meant the world to him. a whole week of pretending to romantically care for someone so desperate. it overwhelmed him.
he couldn't deny but feel guilt everytime he would see hyunjin make up plans to spend time with him. he could see the desperation in hyunjin's eyes, as if he too was forced upon their relationship to last, all because he treasured their connection because it was his first. over their two years of being together, they created this strong bond that was unbreakable, that was until they slowly began to loose those feelings.
hyunjin was just as desperate as jisung would describe him to be. he tried everything- buying flowers for jisung just like how he did when he tried winning over jisung's heart two years ago, or making breakfast for jisung in bed to remind them when he woke up in their apartment, or maybe just cuddling jisung while the younger tried to fill in applications to find a job. everything. but yet, everytime their eyes met, his pupils trembled in desperation to have the weird butterflies erupt in his stomach, or maybe just maybe, he hoped for his adrenaline to increase its speed. but he wasn't going anywhere. all he saw was emptiness. mutual to how he felt.
both of them decided it would be better to have a seat on the benches in front of a park, because they had been exhausted from walking all day long.
and as jisung heard his boyfriend chatter about the specimen, he no longer felt jealous of any sort. he felt rather, depressed.
"hyunjin." he called out, cutting off the males sentence.
hyunjin stopped talking further and noticed the gloominess in jisung's eyes. "hm?"
jisung sighed, hoping that the guilt would ease out after asking this question, "be honest with me alright..? and i promise i won't get mad at you for whatever answer you give. b-but do you perhaps miss seungmin?"
hyunjin was doubtful on the males question because he himself didn't realize how often he talked about seungmin. and yet, the answer was clear in his heart. it was a yes. but the fear still latched over his thoughts like a burden to be the perfect boyfriend. "n-no.." he lied. "why would you think that?"
jisung gulped, hoping that his saliva could drown the lump formed in his throat. "hyunjin.." his voice cracked. he could breakdown any moment because of the lies he received from his boyfriend. "i've known you for two years. i know you're lying to me."
hyunjin's gaze fell down, soon loosing the smile that was once plastered on his face. "i'm not." he lied again.
"you've been going on and on about him for the past week." jisung finally revealed, a few tears managing to escape the creases of his eyes as they poured down on the males cheeks. "anybody could tell you miss him."
hyunjin too, sniffled back on his tears. "so what if i do!?" he finally choked out, immediately having tears flood down on his face soon after. he tried wiping them using the end of his sleeves but they just kept on flowing.
jisung just shook his head, "maybe you miss him more than just a friend would.."
"i can't!" hyunjin shouted in denial. "i'm already your boyfriend..i can't feel like this towards other people.."
"but, do you?"
hyunjin hesitated on answering that question. since he was at the point where he was already in tears he slowly lifted his head and landed his eyes on the boy next to him. he weakly nodded, "i do.." he mumbled.
jisung flashed him a sympathetic smile, despite the tears crawling down his cheeks, "i'm not gonna hold you back and make you suffer with me then." he placed his hand over the older's shoulder, "go to him."
hyunjin just shook his head stubbornly, "b-but he's not my boyfriend..you are. you're supposed to be my top priority.."
"not necessarily."
"b-but jisung—"
"you know, hyunjin." jisung shot up from his seat, making hyunjin stand with him. "i've also been thinking about this lately and.."
hyunjin slightly widened his eyes, as the stream of tears on his face stopped flowing for a split moment. his heart felt like it was caught in a trap that made the blood in him stop flowing. "j-jisung..,please no—"
"and i think we need a break."
.
hyunjin could feel the hot tears continuously flowing down without a stop- and he'd grown tired of the feeling, that it almost felt natural to him.
his mind was numb to think straight unlike his heart that was throbbing hard enough for him to feel like his chest would explode any minute.
sure, it was just jisung admitting that he needed sometime for them to separate for a while, just so he could get his feelings set straight but to hyunjin it was the complete opposite.
come to known the fact that they never had fully heated arguments throughout their relationship. so being it a first time for hyunjin to see jisung willingly letting him go for a while, drove him insane.
his vision was blurry, as he barely managed to see the road ahead of him clearly.
but he didn't have a specific reason as to why and where he was headed to, but his heart just ached to see the male he missed throughout their whole week of separation.
when he arrived at the destination- somehow safely and without a bruise on himself, he managed to stumble inside the gates and knock on the front door frantically.
it didn't take long for a male to appear in front of him with wide eyes.
"h-hyunjin?" mr. kim stammered. he didn't expect hyunjin to appear at his door at 12 in the morning but nonetheless, he still let him inside.
hyunjin frantically took off his shoes at the entrance and dove in the mansion like it was his own, the tears still staining his cheeks.
"i thought you were on vacation—"
"where's seungmin?" hyunjin urged, cutting off the older male.
mr. kim was taken aback by his sudden behavior but nonetheless he still gave him a response; "he's upstairs in his room doing homework. why? what hap—"
hyunjin didn't bother to list out his reasoning, partially because his heart was desperate to see seungmin again and also partially because he didn't have a particular reason. so he ran up the stairs, managing to not stumble on his steps as he finally arrived at the desired floor.
he rushed up at the familiar door, and tried budging on the door knob, only for it to appear locked.
he knocked on it frantically like a maniac. "seungmin!? open the door, baby. please!"
he was interrupted when the door suddenly swung open, only for him to. be faced with an unfamiliar figure. but he soon recognized him and widened his eyes.
"changbin?"
.
.
.
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a/n: omg guys what's changbin doing in SEUNGMINS room!?