We are walking down the street a few people passing us. Harry had a bottle of whiskey in his hand. Every so often he would take a swig of it, the bottle hitting his lips as he throws his head back. He had said something about food, so I guess thats where we were walking to. I trailed a little behind as his long legs could move a lot faster. He abruptly stops, I look up to see the large yellow M.
Come on sleepy I am starving.
He walks up to the till still wearing his sunglasses. Leaning against the counter he whispers something to the worker and hands him a 50. He begins to walk over to a small table when he looks back. Pushing his glasses down a little on his nose so I could see his eyes he smirks and continues walking. There was something about him I didnt understand it, but it was different. He slides onto a seat near the back he pushes the chair across from him out with his leg and he gestures towards it.
I sit down quickly my hands fidgeting. Looking up at him I notice he has a tiny notebook sitting on the table with a pen. He was scribbling in it, but I couldnt work out what. He wrote while tapping his foot on the ground.
What you writing?
He looks up and me smirking.
An idea and no you cant look.
I smile back at him. What was I doing I was out with Harry Styles. I just got a tattoo with his initial and he got my whole fucking name, this was gonna end badly. I just knew it was it always does. The server comes down and lays down a selection of burgers, nuggets, fries and dips. Harry slides over a mcflurry not saying anything.
Whats this for?
He laughs a little.
Well, Amora it is ice-cream you eat it and also you told me you love ice-cream.
I pick up the spoon still looking and him and take a mouthful of it trying to keep a straight face.
I need a smoke do you have any on you.
Has no one ever told you a pretty girl shouldnt smoke.
I laugh he was one to talk he smoked at least three.
Dont be a hypocrite no one likes that.
I get up and walk closer and put out my hand. He looks up at me and takes a black lighter out of his jean pocket and a packet of cigarettes. I grab them and the bottle of whiskey he sat on the ground beside his foot and begin to walk out.
I will be out in five.
I continue walking. Addiction was my main downfall. Cigarettes from age 16 alcohol and coke from age 17. I tried a couple of times to stop but living in a house where they are all available 24/7 it was hard. I was craving anything right now sitting on the window ledge of a McDonalds late at night in New York. Lighting the cigarette, I take a drag grabbing the bottle I twist the cap off and take a drink. I hated how it tasted. A familiar figure sits beside me and takes the bottle out of my hand and takes a drink themself. I look up at him I was with him a couple of hours and I felt relaxed.
Taking another drag he takes the cigarette out of my hand into his. He sits it on the edge of his lip. We sit there in silence for a while just watching as a few people walked past. I start to nip the skin on my thighs, it was out of habit. Harry grabs my right wrist closest to him and places it on his thigh. I was extremely startled and try to take my hand away, but his hand was still tightly gripped around my wrist.
If you want to pinch something use my legs.
He says very calmly, he must of threw the cigarette away. I look up at him why was he doing this he barley knew me. No, he couldnt know he was just trying to be nice. I needed to get out of here it was getting difficult to breathe.
Please Harry let go, please.
I look him dead in the eye pleading with him. He slowly realises his grip picks up the bottle and takes one last gulp before standing up muttering to himself shaking his head. I think I offended him, but I didnt understand why. He begins to walk back in the direction we came from.
We still hadnt said anything till we were right outside the apartment block. He was still sitting on his bike while I was standing on the pavement just staring at each other. Was it too stupid to say thank you. Like what do we say now I hope you have a nice life. I turn around and start walking to the door.
Amora wait.
I spin around to see Harry only a few inches away. I take a step back to leave more distance. We lock eyes I could see him searching them for answers.
You have a tour to go on Harry.
He goes to grab my hand but stops himself, I think he was beginning to understand.
I have another concert tomorrow if u enter through the back door I will give the bouncer your name. Please just tomorrow and we can see each other.
What was I supposed to say I felt the screaming urge to scream yes but deep down I know I couldnt.
I will text you what I decide.
I begin to walk away without looking back when I hear
Goodnight sleepy.
Goodnight Harry.
I walk over to the elevator and take out my phone 03:32. I stand in the elevator rubbing my eyes I was exhausted. Once I reach the apartment door I take out the key from my back pocket I pull the handle down by it was already open. Fuck did I forget to lock the door. I walk into the dark open plan living room and drop my key in the bowl and flick the light switch. There in front of me was my father sitting smoking a cigar. A cold sweat ran through me. I was fucked.
Leaving the house in the middle of the night, not telling me where you were last night what has happened.
His voice was cold, uninviting. He gestures his hand for me to sit on the sofa. I sit as far as I can from him right at the edge. My father rarely shouted he just spoke in a sinister tone which was worse. He was tapping his foot against the white tiled floor. I could tell he was deep in thought.
I dont want to know where you were. I dont want to know why you were gone but I am going to tell you this, tonight was not just business, tonight was a meeting with each of your brothers where including Luca. About you. You are now 19 years old and we can not have you like this turning in bad ways, so we have all decided it is best for the family if you are to find a mafia boy to soon marry and we believe we know exactly who.
A huge lump had filled my throat. I couldnt breathe I needed a drink. He cant seriously be doing this I wasnt ready I barley even knew my self. My palms were all sweaty I begin pinching at my thighs again. Tears begin to fill my eyes, but I had to hold them back.
Who?
I ask timidly. I was afraid to know the answer, shutting my eyes I begin to hope for something anything to get me out of this. I couldnt be with someone who I didnt chose I was not going to be forced.
Ethan.
My heart sank, no. I get up and run to the bathroom and fall to the floor. Just reaching the toilet in time. I hold back my hair, puking my guts up. Sliding down the cool tiles I lie my cheek on it. I lay still not wanting to ever move, I hear a light knock at the door and see Luca and Lexi both standing at the doorway. Lexi walks over and kneels down beside me stroking my hair. She was always like an older sister to me. Neither of them said a word. Luca walks over to the sink and grabs the hand towel and hands it to Lexi. She rubs my eyes with the soft towel gently wiping away all the tears and begins to sit me up. Pushing me against the tiled wall for support she sits beside me and Luca crouching in front of me,
Tell us what happened.
He says concerned; I could tell he felt bad. I couldnt tell them because
1. No one will believe me and
2. If they did believe me they would kill him, and it would fuck everything up for the business.
I just wanted to find someone myself not forced upon as a role some kind of obligation. I wanted to find love and that most certainly not with Ethan.
Lexi grabs my hand rubbing her thumb in circles in the palm of my hand soothing me.
We will get you out of this I promise.
No!
Suddenly Luca jumps up in rage,
Lexi you cannot promise her things that we have zero control over.
He was right Lexi couldnt promise me anything. I had no power in this situation I was fucked. My head was begging for nicotine I had to give in. I get up and walk out the door to my bedroom. Reaching on my desk I pick up a pack of cigarettes and a tiny red lighter. I walk up stairs and open the patio door that led to a seating area looking out on to New York. The cool air felt good against my skin I tried to lay my mind at peace just thinking about the breeze, but it was too full of worries.
Leaning against the glass rails I light my cheap cigarette placing it at the tip of my lip. I breathe in deep; I couldnt believe everything that had happened in 24 hours, this time last night I was sleeping in Harrys hotel room. Searching in my back pocket I find my phone 04:16. It was beginning to get cool I had just been in a small black top all night. The patio door opens, and Lexi walks out holding a little blanket in her arms. She curls up on one of the seats gesturing me to sit down. I follow where her hand was pointed. Sitting on the chair cross legged putting my cigarette out she throws me the blanket.
You need to tell me where you were tonight.
She says sternly. I knew I needed to I just didnt know how to explain without any of this getting back to my brothers.
Promise me right now what I say to you does not leave here.
She looks at me slightly puzzled but nods her head any way. I needed to just say it quickly and get it over with.
Last night Ethan drugged me took me to the side of the concert building when Harry saw hit him and took me to his hotel room and let me sleep and then he wanted to meet tonight.
I blurt out. She looks at me searching my eyes to see if every word I spoke was the truth.
Who is Harry?
Fuck I didnt explain it very well.
Styles.
She gasps,
You mean to tell me you were out with him? Wait this is getting off topic so what did Ethan do and what are we going to do about him?
I cant do anything you know what will happen if I do.
She gets up and sits on the ground in front of me looking up to me grabbing my two hands.
Amora he asked to be your husband.
Oh god the sick feeling was back the shivers were running through my spin.
We need to get you out of here.
I push Lexis hands away and stand up.
Fuck sake Lexi there is no way out for us we are stuck forever. This is our life we dont get to be who we want; we dont get to find the love of our life because we must marry who they choose. We are puppets in their game, items to sell and become family links.
My eyes had now filled with tears I wipe them quickly away with the back of my hand. I look down at Lexi who looked gobsmacked. Sitting back down I grab her hands.
Lets get some sleep we are going out tomorrow.