Turning on the faucet, I bent over the bathroom sink and splashed cold water on my face. I rinsed my mouth and brushed my teeth, perhaps for the thousandth time that morning. Oral hygiene wasn't my main concern at this point but rather the weird taste that lingered in my mouth right after vomiting. If i didn't quickly get rid of it, I would be kneeling by the toilet bowl in no time.
After I finished brushing my teeth, I gargled a strong minty mouthwash to get rid of the smelly odour. But at the end, nothing helped. Absolutely nothing at all seemed to cure my sickness for the past couple of days and my mind was starting to race like a roller coaster ride going up and down hills, in the dark.
Slowly and carefully, I looked up to my reflection in the mirror and I shook my head in frustration. I looked wrecked. Completely and utterly wrecked like a beat-up barbie doll. Puffy bags under my eyes, chapped lips, and sickly underweight. I felt like crying but no tears could be produce due to dehydration. My stomach started to growl, letting me know that it hadn't been getting enough of the feeding but more of the urge to clear out.
Dropping my head, I sighed, and then my glance shifted toward the door when a soft knocking could be heard.
"Miss?"
I slowly made my way toward the door and unlocked it, allowing Pyper to step in. I looked at her and she looked at me before sadly exhaled.
"D-did he call?" I murmured under my shallow breath and Pyper looked down at me. Pity was written across her face.
"No, Miss. I-I am so sorry." She said.
"Don't be." I mumbled. Her answer was nothing I hadn't already expected but seeing how anticipated she was, I couldn't help but grew nervous too, "Is that it?"
My eyes dropped to the plastic bag in her hand and she gave me a slight nod. She handed me the bag and I took it from her before emptying the contents of the bags onto the counter top.
"You can go now." I told her and she hesitated a little before said.
"I will be in the kitchen if you need anything."
"Thank you." I lightly smiled at her and as she was about to turn around, I spoke, seriously and clearly, "Pyper. You will tell nobody about this, right?"
"B-but if Master asked-"
"You will say nothing." I said, sharply and she quickly got it. Or at least, acted like she did before exited the bathroom, leaving me with the marble countertop full of pregnancy tests.
Today counted the total of one full week since the day Liam and I returned home from our trip to Paris. It sounded not so long ago yet, Liam's disappearance had been making my days and nights passed by in a slow-motion. Everything was dragged out, including the day I was supposed to get my period.
The second I realized I was late, all the symptoms and weird sickness came back, hitting me hard like a truck. I didn't know who to blame. My carelessness or the fact that I had been letting other people's thoughts and words get inside my head. But after so many days of convincing myself that I had the common flu which according to Pyper and the few other maids in the house, it had been passing around our neighborhoods due to sudden weather changed, I started questioning everything and literally everyone. Travis also said the other day that my late period was mainly caused by my own stress and that I needed to stop overthinking my issue with his boss so much as Liam would have called me back in a heartbeat, the second he had the time.
But the truth was, it had been over a week now since the day he left me and guessed what?
He never had the time.
I didn't know if he was doing this out of anger or he meant to ignore me on purpose just to get me to understand how he felt during those hours at Helena's party where I intentionally ignored his texts and calls.
But, five hours and a whole darn week was totally different.
At one point, I had stopped trying to reach out. If distance and ignorance were what Liam needed to make himself feel better, maybe I should just let it go. Despite the fact that my heart was telling me otherwise, there was nothing else I could have done apart from preparing myself to face with him the day he decided to return. Should I be all angry with him or should I listen to what he had to say?
Well, it all depended on what this plastic stick in my hand had to say.
Urinating had never been this stressful and hard. My hand was shaking as I got up from the toilet bowl and walked back to the sink. I closed my eyes while my hand gripped the test stick. The longest wait in my life then started there.
I didn't only wait five but twenty minutes, walking around my bathroom. I literally read every magazine and flipped through all the pages at least twice or thrice just to make time go by faster. Finally, the timer I set on my phone went off and I rushed toward the sink. I had on hand over my eyes and another reaching out for the test stick. I held it up to my eye-level and slowly, I removed my hand from in front of my face.
It was the first time I smiled genuinely in the past several days. Only one red band appeared and it was crisp and clear.
I wasn't pregnant.
It felt as if the whole world was being lifted off of my chest. Everything seemed bright and lively once again and to think that just yesterday, I was literally standing on the edge of the cliff, tipping over by the thought of losing this man that could be the father of my child.
But now, I felt nothing.
Apart from a temporary sickness or what on earth allergy that was, I was glad to know that my whole life wasn't being tied to anyone but myself. Although, I was married to Liam, technically, we hadn't made anything official in term of our feelings and relationship-wise. We slept together multiple times and things were going pretty great until he had to drag us down. He left me. Without saying a word, he just left me.
To say my heart was broken, I would say I didn't have one to begin with. As my heart was so full of him, I could hardly call it my own.
_________________
When I entered the dining hall that evening, I was surprised to see everyone there. And by everyone, I meant everyone. The three Luciano brothers and all of mine. The first question that popped right into my head exactly?
What the hell was going on?
"Hey." They all greeted me at the same time.
"Hey..." I mumbled back awkwardly, looking at each and everyone of them. Their faces carried blank expression whatsoever but it seemed more like a poker face. Like they were hiding something from me.
I turned to my three brothers and gave them a weird look.
"What're you guys doing here?"
They didn't say anything. In fact, they just gulped uneasily and looked over at Jack.
"...Well, Pyper told Alice and Alice called Emma, and Emma told me-"
"Oh god, Jack. Just get right to point." I said, "I don't need to know who got you here. I just want to know why?"
"W-we just wanted to check in on you and see if you're doing alright, sister." Aden said.
I titled my head to the side, questioning him in a way, "Why wouldn't I be?"
"Pyper told us you have been feeling sick for the past couple of days..."
And that was when I noticed there were two girls standing to my left, smashed in a corner of the dining room with their arms linked.
"You told on me?" My glance narrowed as I looked over at Pyper and Alice.
"Miss, please do not be mad." Alice uttered shakily.
"W-we were just worried about you." Pyper then added. Her voice cracked a little at the end. They both looked completely terrified.
"They couldn't get a hold of Liam so they had to call one of us." Jack explained and I felt like snapping back at him but when my second brother, Romeo made his point. It seemed to shut me up in instant.
"Or would you prefer it better if she was to call one of our parents?— or Liam's?"
"Urgh. Whatever." I grunted annoyingly, "I am fine, guys. Just feel a little sick. Probably because of that seasonal flu."
"What seasonal flu?" Aden then asked and there was a doubtful moment where he looked at Pyper and Alice before lightly bobbed his head, "Ahh...that."
"If it's just the seasonal flu then why did you ask Pyper to buy you a pregnancy test?" Jack chirped and suddenly, my jaw dropped in embarrassment.
"Oh my god! You didn't have to tell them that!" I shouted at Pyper and she clung tightly to Alice's arm.
I was so upset. Angey. Embarrassed. Named it. My emotions were all over the place. I was mad at both Pyper and myself. What was I thinking that I could get around this house without anybody knowing what I did or what I asked his people to do for me. I should have known better. Pyper was faithful and loyal but that only applied when you were one of the Luciano and in this case, I hadn't officially changed my last name yet.
"What's all the yelling about over here?"
My head snapped toward the door linking the dining room to the garden and my eyes spotted a lady.
"Em?" I looked at her and she was already staring at me.
"Hey, cousin." She said as she walked to us before stood by her husband's side.
"Maybe, we should step outside for a bit and let you girls talk?" Cairo, my youngest brother suggested. He was clearly the only person in that room at the moment who was thinking straight.
"It's okay, Cairo. Whatever that is that you guys wanted to talk about. I'm all ears." I stated. More like demanding the truth out of them.
There had to be a reason as to why they came all the way from their house to be in our dining room that same evening. And honestly, I doubted it had anything to do with Pyper's call.
"Listen, I can see that you are feeling very uncomfortable but there is nothing to be ashamed of." Jack said. His hand came up to rub his chin thoughtfully before he asked, "Why did you ask Pyper to buy you the test? Do you have any symptoms? And, for how long have these symptoms been present?
"Okay. Which part exactly in the I am fine earlier did you genuinely not get?" I didn't want to sound rude to my brother-in-laws but his questions were pushing it a little.
First thing first, he wasn't my husband and second thing, why did anybody care if I took a pregnancy test or had the symptoms. It wasn't like I could be having one of their babies.
"We did understand every words you said, London. But, you did take the pregnancy test, correct?" Luke asked, sighing heavily as if he was under so much distress.
If there was anybody at all in that room who had to right to be feeling distressed, that person must be me.
"Yes, Luke. I did take the test." I answered honestly.
"And...?"
His eyebrows rose, awaiting for my declaration of the result perhaps.
"And, it was okay." I replied.
"Okay as in?"
"Oh my god, Luke. Okay means I am not pregnant!" I hissed at him.
I thought I was being pretty loud and clear but I guessed I was wrong.
"You what?" Jack blinked hardly as he did a double take on me.
"I am not pregnant." I repeated, "Not pregnant as in I am not carrying a baby."
I didn't know. Maybe, it was their poor actings or their inability of hiding any expressions but the look of relief that immediately crossed their faces seemed downright fake to me.
If anything, they didn't look at all close to relax. They looked...disappointed.
"Hm. So, you're really not pregnant." Jack murmured and I looked at him full in the face.
"A thousand times over, no. I am not." I grunted.
"Then, why did you ask Travis to get you an appointment with our family gynecologist-"
"I am thinking of going on birth control and I need the docter to write me a prescription!" I groaned, "For God's sake, it is like living in a jail here! Do I need to inform all of you about everything that is going on with my life?!"
"London, it's not like that." Jack countered, folding his arms over his chest, "And, did you talk to Liam about this? Does he know that you are considering going on the pill? I mean...it could cause side effects and long term-"
"For God's sake, just leave me alone!" I shouted angrily, "It already so hard having a partner who do not listen to you when you have asked them multiple times to use a damn condom, I do not need to be beaten down for going on the pill, alright?! It's my body! All of you do not have a say on this. Not even Liam. It is my decision to make! Mine alone!"
I knew I might have gone off track a little bit but once I started yelling, I couldn't stop. It all just came back to me. The fact that I had been telling Liam to put on a condom before going in and now, look who was suffering.
For days, I had been thinking I was pregnant. I threw up. I felt sick, light-headed and fragile as hell but he was normal. He acted normal, lived normal and travelled normal like how he did when he didn't have me. He wasn't even there for me when I needed him the most. I had to go through every thing by myself and to be standing there, judged and interrogated by my and his whole family made my blood boiled.
I didn't deserve this. People needed to mind their own business and let me freaking live.
I couldn't stand there and took another minute of their judgmental speeches. I turned around and dramatically, stormed off the dining room.
The only thing I remembered hearing after that was Emma's sharp voice. She was yelling at the boys.
"You all have one freaking job!"
________________
I didn't know for how long I had been curling up on the window seat, staring out the window until I heard my bedroom's door cracked open. Followed that was light footstep and I glanced over my shoulder to see Emma.
"Men are stupid." She hummed as she walked across the room to join me at the window seat.
"Did they leave?" I asked hopefully.
"Yes. Except for Jack. He still has to drive me home." She chuckled and I sighed before lightly smiled at her, "Babe, you sure you're alright?"
I exhaled loudly at Emma's question and closed my eyes as she ran her hand down my hair. Brushing it back and softly, messages my shoulders.
"I am fine." I breathed out.
"You don't really look like it." She mumbled back, "What's the problem?"
"Everything." I said.
"Is there anything I can do?" She asked, "Anything that could help fix that problem of yours."
Well, Emma. The only thing that could fix the problem I had been having was a thousand mile away and refused to pick up my calls.
I stared at Emma's reflection in the window and sighed, "It's so confusing."
"What's confusing?"
"Him." I replied, "Us. Everything."
"Well, it had been over a month now since you two got married and you're still living in his home. He took you on a trip and talked about you to all of his brothers. Certainly, it couldn't be that complicated."
"I thought so too." I nodded, agreeing with her but only on the surface level, "But then he left me. Without saying a word, we fought and he just left. I don't even know where he is at the moment or who is he with."
"If it makes you feel any better...half of the times, Jack doesn't tell me either where had he gone off to and with who did he go with. He will just disappear for days— or sometimes, weeks."
"And, that doesn't bother you?"
"It did at first." She answered, "But then I asked him and every time, it's always something related to his work. I asked his guys too and all of them literally said the same thing."
"But, how could you trust them?" I asked, "They worked for him. Of course, they would lie and hide things from you if he asked them to."
"Is that what you think Liam is all about?" She looked down at me.
I shrugged.
"London, you do know the type of business Liam is involved with, right?"
"I do but still." I sighed heavily, "He is always so busy and his work place filled with a ton of attractive women. He works with them, Emma. Do business with them. Business, which him and I never once discussed about."
"And, has he once not came back to you?"
My eyebrows fell into a tight knot at Emma's words.
"What do you mean by that?" My eye twitched a little as I asked.
"Has Liam ever spent a night somewhere else?"
I did not know what to answer. Actually, I didn't think I have the answer.
"Not really." I shook my head, "Apart from the time he went on a business trip, of course. Other than that, he always comes home—"
"To you." She added. A mischievous smile painted her face as we stared at each other.
"Okay. I really don't get your point here." I concluded.
"Oh, you do, Lo. You so do." She smirked, "Lisren, guys like Liam, they don't waste their time, energy and attention on things that don't matter. You matter. That's why you are sleeping here with him, in his bedroom and not six doors down the hall where he put those other girls."
I knew her statement was supposed to raise my spirit but the only thing that it did was reminding me that Liam used to have his mistresses here all the time.
However, I hadn't seen one roaming around the house lately. I wondered where is he keeping them now.
"And, about the whole pregnancy thing—"
"I am not pregnant, Emma. I swear to God." I gushed and she threw her head back, laughing.
"I know. I know." She grinned, "That's great. I am happy for you."
"You are?" I found it weird at first. The way Emma expressed her gratitude so strongly.
Although, I did make it pretty clear earlier that I wouldn't be too happy if I was really carrying little version of Liam. Still. Did she really have to look so happy?
"It is just not a great time right now for us to be expecting a baby." I spoke, erasing the awkward silence between us, "With him and I just started to get to know each other, everything between us so far has been an absolute mess. God, imagine a baby on top of that."
"It's very smart of you to not think of babies right now." Emma said humorlessly, "But did you have the chance to discuss it with Liam? I mean, he seems like a man who would want a family of his own one day."
"Then, we've got to find him another woman." I implied, "I am going to see Dr. Green tomorrow and there is no way I would walk out of her office without a birth control prescription."
Emma chuckled, "At what time exactly is your appointment? It's tomorrow, right? For sure?" She asked eagerly and I just blinked, a little confused, "I mean, in case you need a ride. Jack and I have to stop by at the clinic some day this week anyways. We have this weekly check-up thing."
"Right." I bobbed my head twice, "I almost forget you two are trying."
"Trust me. You do not want to hear about it. I wish we could have done it naturally but Jack insists that our firstborn has to be a boy so here I am. Getting procedures done on me and poking myself with a needle nearly every day." She murmured and God, how I pitied her, "I just can't wait to be pregnant already. It's going to make Jack so happy."
"But...will you be happy?"
She appeared stunned at my question but quickly, regained her composure at once.
"Of course. I will be happy." She mumbled, "Don't worry so much about me and focus on yourself. You are not ready to be a mother yet. Do not get pregnant. Remember that."