Sage's POV
A mere ten minutes after I received that text from Roman saying that he needed to talk to me, he entered the Villa. He came into his old room where Iz and I still were and, he began walking toward me.
I met him halfway and hugged him tightly. We kissed quickly and let go.
"What did you want to talk about?" I questioned and he looked over my shoulder at Izzy.
"What?" she asked.
Roman sighed. "You think we could get some privacy?" he says annoyedly and Izzy rolls her eyes as she gets up and walks over to the door.
"I'm gonna be listening from the other side of the door." She says before swiftly shutting the door and I chuckle.
Roman pulls me by my hand onto his lap as he sits at the edge of the bed. "So, by now I'm sure you know why I had to come back here." He says lowly and I nod. He's seemingly nervous and that's an emotion that I never really see from him.
"How are you feeling? Do you want to talk about it?" I ask him, comfortingly rubbing his back.
He shakes his head. "I don't want to but, we need to." He responds.
"You don't have to talk about it if you're not ready." I assure him. "I just need you to know that I'm here whenever you are." I add and he leans in to give me a quick kiss.
"I appreciate that Sage, I do but, we have to talk now... about us." He responds, nearly whispering the last two words.
I'm immediately filled with confusion. "What about us?" I question lowly and he lets out a long sigh.
"Shit." He curses under his breath. "This," he says pointing between the two of us. "it has to end." He says and my heart immediately drops to my feet.
Silence. A long moment of silence passes as I try to analyze his face for any sign that he's joking. Roman doesn't joke.
"Y-you're breaking up with me?" I ask, my voice cracking at the end as I blink back the tears I have threatening to spill.
We've only been officially together for a day...
"Yes – I mean no." he answers. "Fuck- Sage please don't cry." He continues as he sees my eyes beginning to water. "I just don't know what else to do." He says, roughly raking his hands through his hair.
"What do you mean?" I question. I don't understand where any of this is coming from.
"I can't imagine you getting hurt or even worse because of me so...I think it's best that we break up."
"What are you even talking about Rome?" I yell, getting angry and the tears fall. "You're hurting me now." I say in a much softer tone. I harshly wipe the tears from my cheeks.
He tries to wipe my face but, I jerk my head away from him.
"Sage, this is for your own safety." He says and I can see through his eyes, the internal battle that he's having. "I'm a mafia don now. For one of the biggest fucking mafias in the world. You don't even understand what kind of risk you'd be at." He says getting upset. But it seems that he's angry with himself, not me.
"I don't care about any of that, I just want to be with you." I say weakly and he pulls me into his chest, holding me tightly.
What feels like an eternity goes by in pure silence as we stay in the same position. Then he speaks.
"I made a promise... to my mother." He starts and I lift my head from it's placement on his chest in order to look at him as he speaks. "She told me that if I ever fell in love, I need to leave all of this behind." He explains. "So I need to let you go until I can figure out how to do that." He adds and my heart fills with hope.
"So this isn't it? You're not leaving me for good?" I ask timidly. I know it sounds sort pitiful for me to nearly beg him not to leave but, I just can't imagine losing what we I've just gotten.
"No, love." He responds, holding me tighter. "I just don't know how long it's going to take for me to find a way to leave." He explains. "And as much as it fucking hurts, I can't ask you to wait for me indefinitely." He finishes and I immediately shake my head.
"I don't care Roman. If it takes a month, a year, or ten years. I'm waiting for you." I tell him firmly. And he's quiet for a second then, he speaks.
"I know that I'll never find anyone like you Sage. You're it for me." He begins. "But, I need you to promise me that if you fall in love again, you won't lose it because of me." He says and my heart sinks that those words.
"I'm not falling in love again. I believe in us Roman." I try to say firmly but the sadness is evident in my voice.
"Just promise me Sage." He says lowly and I nod.
"I promise." I respond and he kisses my head. A silence falls over us again and I decide to ask a question that he still may not be ready for but, it's worth a shot.
"What happened to your mother?" I ask quietly and he doesn't respond for a moment. "If you don't want to talk about it, I get it. I just-"
"She was the best mother anyone could've asked for." He states, cutting me off. "She made the best food and gave the best hugs and did everything a mother was supposed to do better." He starts.
I rub his back to comfort him, urging him to go on. And he does.
"She brightened every room she ever entered. Kind of like you do." He stated. "She was my biggest role model. She always taught me that even though we live such a dangerous life, I should always spread love just like she did." He tells me and when I look back into his eyes it's like he's back in those times. He's spaced out, reliving his memories with his mom.
"My father was a terrible man who didn't care about anyone or anything besides her." He says. "She was the light of his life. The only person who could ever make him smile. He was almost like a real father when she was alive but once she died, every good part of him did as well." He says.
I continue to hold on to him as a way of comforting him and he holds me just as closely.
"How old were you when you she passed?" I asked.
"Twelve. It was only a day before my thirteenth birthday." He responds and my heart breaks for him. And I hug him.
"You don't have to continue. It's okay." I say assuringly and he shakes his head.
"No, I want to to." He responds and I nod. "We had just baked my birthday cake. She hated buying pre made cakes." He says with a small smile that cause my lips to turn up at the sight.
"We went to sit on the balcony to watch the stars. It was something we did some nights because she loved everything about space. We even had a telescope." He continues, still smiling at the memory. Then his smile quickly fades.
"We hadn't even noticed the three entered behind us. They were tall and dressed in all black. They were not any of our men." He explains. "In a split second, I was picked up by one. I was a very short skinny kid at the time so it was easy to grab me. My mother tried to run to me but the other two grabbed her." He adds and I'm absolutely terrified to hear the rest.
He pauses for a while and I kiss his cheek. "It's okay, you don't have to tell me the rest." I assure him but he continues.
"The man that help me, dangled me over the edge. We had been very high up. They told her that either she jumps or they drop me." He says lowly and his voice became weak. My heart is completely aching for him.
"I could tell from their accents that they were Russian." He adds "I screamed and begged for her not to but when they put her on the other side of the rail she begged them to turn me around so that I wouldn't see. And the last words she'd said to me were ti amo bambino mio before I turned around and she was gone. Just like that." He finished, sounding completely defeated.
I sat up from my position and looked into his now glossy eyes. I could tell he was using everything in him to hold back those emotions that he's been holding in for all those years. I quickly wrapped my arms back around him and held onto him.
He tightened his grip around me and I felt his body beginning to shake under my grasp and low muffled cries coming from his mouth.
"I didn't save her." He said weakly and in this moment, I could see that he'd been beating himself up for this for the past seven years. He's been holding all this in.
"You couldn't Rome. This is not your fault. She wouldn't want you to blame yourself for this." I tell him and his cries even harder, letting out everything he refused to let out for so long. "You're so strong my love. So strong." I say to him and he doesn't respond. He just continues to hold onto me and let the rest of the tears spill.
No one deserves to see what he's seen. Watching your mother fall to her death has to be one of the most sickening thing you could possibly see. I hate that he's had to go through all of this alone.
"I was terrified to tell anyone what happened because I thought they'd kill me. And it appeared to be a suicide so, my father blamed me. The entire year after her death, he told me that she killed herself because of me. And that it was my fault I never stopped her." He explains and it saddens me so much more. "And that next year was when he sent me to New York."
"Well he was wrong. He wasn't there and he has no right to tell you those things. This was not your fault at all." I respond finding myself getting internally angry with the now deceased man. How could someone say such horrid things to their child?
"Thank you Sage." He says lowly. "You saved my life." He says seriously look into my eyes. "I spent years building this exterior physically and mentally, to protect myself but you broke it. You showed me how to find happiness again beneath the scars of my past and, no matter what happens, you'll always be my home." He expresses sincerely and now my eyes begin to well with tears.
"You did the same for me Roman. I never thought that I would be able to let myself fall in love after everything but I fell for you. So hard." I say as a single year slips from my eye.
He lightly pulls my face closer to his and connects his lips to mine. This kiss was different from our others. It was a slow and needy kiss, filled with so much love and passion. It's like we were using our mouths to express how much we mean to each other.
We stop only when in need of air and I rest my head on his shoulder. Neither of us say a word but we stay in that position as minutes for by.
Suddenly, Roman gets up holding me and he walks over to the side of the bed assuming I was asleep but, as soon as he put me down I look up at him. He grabs my hand and I'm nervous about what he'll say next.
"There will be a ball tomorrow. To officially name me as mafia leader." He says and the seriousness of this situation finally starts to kick in. "We will be attending separately with different dates so that no one suspects we are together and you'll be safe." He adds and his statements unnerves me
"Who will I be going with?" I question.
"Luca." He responds.
"From the cantina?" I ask and he nods. This puts my mind at ease slightly since he's not a complete stranger.
"We can't interact at all. That will put you in danger and I cannot let that happen." He says and I agree sadly. "This is just temporary, okay?" He says and I nod.
"Okay."
He rubs the back of my hand that he's holding. "I should go." He says as he bends down to place a kiss on my cheek. "I love you." He says sincerely. I can tell this is no easier for him than it is for me.
"I love you Roman." I respond and he lets go and leaves the room.
We'll be together again. I have faith in us.
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A/N: Thank you for reading this chapter!!
So sorry for the long wait. I haven't updated in a while because I just started my senior year and I've been working a lot so my apologies!!
What did you guys think of this chapter though?
p.s. there is only one chapter left in this book along with the epilogue!! It's so exciting!
And if you're someone who doesn't read prologues or epilogues, you're gonna wanna read this one for a proper closing of this book!
Next chapter will be out soon! <3