Tracing along my still sore neck, the shadow of his fingers imprinted into my skin but they are fading away. His sinister look is all I can see when I shut my eyes, the spark of excitement when he realised he was holding my life in his hands.
He had all the power, as per usual.
The bruises he leaves should force me to run away, run as fast as I can but they keep me pinned in place because the bruises are not as painful as living without him.
A pain I must become accustomed to.
It's all part of the plan.
"Eliza! Your tutor is here!" Mother yells from downstairs.
"Coming!" I call back, quickly putting on a turtle neck sweater, and pulling it up so my neck is completely covered.
No one can know.
*
Third Person P.O.V.
"I'm sorry, you're staying where?" Kiara questions, "Tannyhill" John B repeats, "so you're living with Sarah Cameron" she can't believe this.
"Okay, look, the only reason I'm living there is because her dad bailed me out" John B explains again, aware of Kiara's distaste for this whole situation.
"And it's way better than foster care, which, by the way, is where I was about to go if Ward didn't-" he continues, "so do you have a membership to the clubs now?" Pope interrupts. "I don't know, Pope" John B sits down, the movement making his injured arm hurt even more.
"What about those golf carts they drive around? You get one of them?" JJ chimes in, "does it come with a sweater vest or do you have to buy one on your own?" Pope taunts.
"Look, you promised," Kiara brings up, "you said you weren't with her" she reminds him.
"Bro, just own it, she got you" JJ comments.
"Of course, you would know all about that" Kiara sighs, "what is it with you two morons falling for their preppy girl acts?" She is over her friends catching feelings for the same girls who hurt her.
"If you want to hang out with her, that's fine" she shrugs, "but I'm letting you know right now that I'm not doing anything with Sarah" she puts her foot down.
"Do you guys see her here?" John B points out, fed up with their comments, "no, so a little focus would be fantastic" he brings their focus back to what is most important, the gold.
"Sarah's looking into who her dad sold the map to and we need that map" he fills them in, "so whether you like it or not, we need her help" he looks at Kiara who rolls her eyes. "So what do we do in the meantime?" Pope asks, "we wait" John B shrugs.
"We wait?" JJ questions.
"Until we get the map, we don't know where to look" John B points out, "so I know it is not the most desirable outcome but we will find the map until then let us just lay low" he assures them.
"Has Sarah found anything?" Pope asks, "not much, just that the historian her dad sold it to also sold it to someone else, she is trying to locate the buyer as we speak" he informs them. "So what exactly does this mean? Is Sarah a part of the crew now?" Kiara crosses her arms, "no" John B shakes his head.
"So this is just for information?" She pushes, noticing his hesitation.
"Yes," he confirms reluctantly.
The others nod, deciding not to say anything but they know he is lying.
*
"Where have you been?" Sarah asks when John B returns, "at Kiara's parent's restaurant" John B answers, leaning in for a kiss and she happily obliges.
"Did you tell them?" She wonders, "not yet" he admits and she tries to hide her frown.
"They are not taking the fact that I am living with you well" he mentions, "so I am just going to let them get used to that before I drop another bomb on them" he explains, "I get it" she tries to hide that she is upset.
"But I will tell them, I promise" he lifts her chin up.
"I know" she softly smiles, pecking his lips again.
"Come with me, I found something" Sarah takes his hand and leads him to her father's office, she logs into the computer.
"So I managed to track down the map" she begins, "after my dad sold it to a historian, the historian lent it to a museum but then it was privately sold to an unknown buyer" John B listens carefully. "I couldn't locate the buyer but I stumbled upon this" she shows him the webpage on the screen.
"What is this?" John B looks closely, the writing all in French.
"Whoever bought it has now put it on auction, it was meant to be in Louisiana but it was swapped a few days ago to Charlotte" she notifies him, "what?" John B gasps when he spots the price.
"There is no way we can afford to buy it" he loses optimism in getting the map.
"I have another idea" Sarah speaks up and John B gives her all his attention.
"We can steal it" he can't believe that he is hearing this from her, "what?" He wants her to repeat herself. "We can steal it" Sarah repeats, more firmly, "and how do you suggest we do that?" He questions intrigued.
"By sneaking in" Sarah shrugs.
"Alright, so you have a plan?" He questions.
"I do" She nods, "but I'm going to need help because we can't be the ones to sneak in" she adds. "Okay, so who can sneak in?" John B queries, "since it is a private auction, it means all the attendees have been directly invited" Sarah explains.
"We need someone that can speak French and fit in with all the aristocratic French people that have likely been invited" she states, "well I hope you have someone in mind" John B replies. "I do" Sarah affirms, "I just haven't asked her yet" John B realises who she is talking about.
"You'll really think she will do this?" John B isn't hopeful.
"Probably not" Sarah chuckles, knowing it is a long shot, "but we have no other choice since she is the only one that can make it through the door" she points out.
"Do you want my help to talk to her?" He offers.
"No" Sarah shakes her head, "it is better I do this alone" John B agrees, his presence won't do any favours.
*
"Sarah found something" John B fills in his group, "what did she find?" Pope sits up. "The map is up for auction now" he informs them, "auction? Like we have to buy it?" Kiara questions, "something like that" John B nods.
"We can't afford to buy it!" Pope exclaims.
"Sarah has a plan" he calms them down, "of course she does" Kiara rolls her eyes. "She's helping us out, Kie, alright" he comes to Sarah's defence which is not missed by the others.
"Okay fine, what is her brilliant plan?" Kiara sarcastically remarks.
"We are going to swap it out for a decoy and then steal the real thing" their eyes widen, "oh dear lord" Pope leans back. "Can we just follow the law for once?" He huffs, "remember what happened the last time we stole something, Shoupe found out" he brings up the envelope.
"We don't have a choice" John B states.
"Okay, what's the plan? How are we sneaking in?" Kiara gives in, "actually we're not sneaking in" he speaks cautiously, not wanting to annoy Kiara even more. "What do you mean? Who is sneaking in? Sarah?" Kiara glares.
"No" John B shakes his head.
"We need someone that can speak French-" he tries to stall, "B" Pope fills in the gap, knowing that Eliza speaks fluent French alongside Spanish.
"Elizabeth! Oh My God!" Kiara explodes, standing up, "I thought we were done with her!" She paces back and forth. "We will be but we don't have any other options" John B stands up as well, "that's what you said the last time" Kiara retorts.
"What do you want me to do, Kie?" John B questions.
"I want you to stop bringing those evil bitches into our lives" she complains, "Kie, we don't even know if she will do it, Sarah is asking her now" he tries to calm her down. "It doesn't matter because something else will happen down the line where you will need their help again" she brushes him off her.
"We will cross that bridge when we get to it" John B replies, "but without the map, there won't be anything down the line because we won't get that far" he reminds her of what is at stake.
"I don't like this just as much as you but we have no choice" he repeats.
"And if she says no?" Pope chimes in, "then one of us better get fluent in French before tonight" John B remarks.
"You're awfully silent" Kiara looks at JJ, "by now you would have made at least five inappropriate comments about Eliza's body" the others turn to look at him with the same concern.
He hasn't been the same since Midsummers.
They were expecting JJ to be bragging about how the most popular girl in OBX practically serenaded him in front of everyone but he hasn't brought it up once and continues to change the topic.
He can't stop thinking back to the cloakroom, she finally let him in.
It was only for a moment but she dropped her defences and let him see the real her. She was almost his, her hand in his and his presence was the one she craved.
It was only a moment but he could have stayed there forever.
But the night is stained by Rafe's words and insults, she continues to love someone who thinks so lowly of her.
All he wants is to see her, make sure she is okay, but he knows she doesn't want him near her.
He isn't the plan and he doesn't want her to get into any more trouble.
"JJ?" He looks up to find his friends staring at him, forcing him out of his mind.
"What?" He shifts in his seat, "did you hear anything I said?" John B asks. "Yeah, you were talking about an auction that you need Eliza to sneak into because she speaks French" he recounts what he can remember.
"And what do you think about that?" They all wait for his answer.
"It's the only choice we have, right?" He dodges the question.
"Right" John B nods, concerned for his friend.
"JJ, maybe you can try to convince her?" Pope requests, "I don't think I'm the best man for the job" he bites his fingernails. "What the hell is going on with you? What don't we know?" Kiara is tired of him keeping secrets.
"What else happened at Midsummers?"
*
Elizabeth's P.O.V.
"So next session we can put this all together and have a mock interview" Miss Adams, my scholarship tutor, plans out, "sounds good, I'll be prepared" I nod.
"Good" she packs her things up, "really good work today" she compliments, "I would just focus more on your enunciation" she instructs. "Will do" I nod again, "see you next week" I escort her to the door.
Once she leaves, I sit on the couch, enjoying the empty house.
Reaching for my phone, my screen is littered with notifications from Rafe. He has called and messaged me numerous times. I can tell from all the love hearts that it is going to be an apology that I am not ready to hear.
Instinctively touching my neck and it's as though his hands are still wrapped around, getting tighter with each new notification. I put my phone back down, wanting to escape the memories from that night.
I grab the TV remote, looking for something to take my mind off everything but my peace is disturbed by the doorbell ringing.
Standing up, I pray it is not Rafe, peeking through to see Sarah.
I fix my turtle neck before opening the door, a fake bright smile already plastered on my face.
"Saz, hey" I greet her with a big hug which she returns just as enthusiastically, "you didn't tell me you were coming" I invite her inside. "I know I just thought I would stop by" I lead us into the living room, "you don't have a tutor session do you?" She looks around.
"No, my last session for the day finished a few minutes ago" we sit down on the couch.
"And your parents?" She looks at the stairs, as though she doesn't want anyone to hear our conversation, "dad is at work as per usual and my mom is shopping with Rose" I reply.
"Oh okay," she relaxes.
"What's going on?" I notice how nervous she is.
"Nothing" she lies, "we just haven't spoken properly since Midsummers and I want to know how you have been" she brings up. "I'm great, normal I guess" I shrug, "I heard what happened to John B, can't believe Topper pushed him" I recall.
"Yeah but he is fine and recovering well," she tells me.
"Good, I'm really glad to hear that" I smile, "I also heard that you dumped Topper finally and that John B is living with you" I smirk. "It's not like that" she blushes, "my dad just offered him a place to stay" she tries to not make it a big deal.
"He gave us strict rules, we are not allowed to share a room" she adds, "since when have you followed the rules?" I nudge her playfully.
"I don't know, it's-" she stops herself, "Is everything okay with John B?" I worry.
"Yes, of course, we're really good but you know it's early" she responds, "and we are just trying to figure things out" she explains. "I get that" I understand, "what's been going on with you? You know since you're in love with a criminal" she taunts.
"It is not like that" I laugh, happy she is here to distract my mind.
"I sang that song for you and John B" I state, "sure you did" she doesn't believe me, "it's true, I was inspired by your little adventure" I continue. "I believe you," her grin says the opposite, "did you get to speak to him?" I know she is referring to Maybank.
"For a moment" I shrug, "not a big deal, I just wanted to see how he was after the arrest" I play with the ends of my sweater.
"How did your parents react?" She asks.
"Not well, much worse than I thought" I sigh, "let's just say I am on my final warning" I lean back on the couch. "I'm sorry" she squeezes my leg, "don't be, it was worth it" I wink.
She goes to reply but my phone ringing interrupts her, Rafe's contact flashing.
"Omg, it's like he has this sixth sense to always disrupt our girl time" she laughs, stopping when she realises I am not laughing along. My body stiffens up when I see his contact picture, a cute picture of me kissing his cheek while he takes the photo.
"You can answer it, you know?" She looks at me suspiciously.
"Later" I turn my phone off, "it's girl time" I throw my phone to the side, "what happened?" She knows me too well.
"Nothing, nothing at all" I lie, getting better at it, "we just got into a little argument because much like my parents, he wasn't too happy with my song choice" I underplay the scenario, my throat tightening as the real events replay in my mind.
"But it's not a big deal" I wave it off.
"I'm sure it's not" Sarah nods, "you know how he gets, he will be over it soon" she comforts me. "Can I ask something?" She looks as though something is battling her, "of course" I allow.
"I need a favour" she brings up, "of course, anything, what's up?" I sit up, concerned with her anxious demeanour. "Before you agree, I think you need to listen to what the favour is" she replies, "Saz, you're my best friend, I would do anything for you, you know that" I state.
"I know but I'm afraid that if I tell you then you will change your mind" she admits.
"What's going on? You're starting to scare me" I move next to her.
"You know the gold that John B is trying to find" she brings up and I sigh internally, knowing where this is going. "He asked me to find this map but my dad sold it a long time ago, anyway the map we need is being held at a private auction tonight in Charlotte" I listen intently.
"It was originally meant to be held in Louisiana by some aristocratic French guy but it's been moved to Charlotte" and now I understand where I fit in, "it is a private auction, which means that-" she continues.
"All the attendees are likely to speak French" I fill in for her.
"Exactly" she realises I have caught on.
"I need you to sneak in and pretend to be some high-class French girl whose parents come from money and swap a fake map for the Tannyhill map," she says quickly.
"Sarah-" I start.
"Before you answer" she cuts me off, "I know I am asking a lot but after tonight the map will be sold and we may never find it again" she warns. "We need your help" she pleads and I am caught in the middle.
"Sarah, you know I would do anything for you but I am going to ask you not to ask me to do this" I request. "Liz, please" she pushes, "I can't, I just can't so please don't ask me again" I plead.
"Liz, please, I need your help" she tries to convince me and I almost break.
"I can't, I'm sorry" I shake my head.
"Why not?" She questions.
"I am done running favours for them, I have done my part" I state, "then don't do this for them, do this for me" she persuades. "I am finally back on track, I can't afford to fall off it again" I stand up, walking away.
"Liv!" Sarah follows me.
"I am sure there is something else you can do" I refuse to turn around, "but I am tapping out" I have already been punished for hanging out with them, I can't have it happen again.
"It's not my problem, they are not my problem" I stop in the kitchen, "I have so much going on in my life right now that I can't handle anything more, I'm sorry" I finally turn around. "What is this about?" She reads me and I almost tell her about Rafe but I bite my tongue.
"My life has become substantially worse since I got involved in their little treasure hunt!" I exclaim, "and I need to stop going back on what I said, I'm done helping them, I'm focusing on myself and what is good for me and they are not good for me" Sarah sends me a hurt expression.
My dad's warning rings in my head, one more wrong move and I am on the first plane to Maine.
"I can't help you, I'm sorry" I know I let her down and it is the hardest thing.
"Please Liv, I know I am asking a lot" she holds my hands in hers, "but I really need you right now" she pleads. "Do this for me, your best friend" she knows all the cards to play, "after, I won't bring you into this anymore" she promises.
"Sarah-" I am close to giving in.
"Please!" I can't say no to her.
"Fine" I reluctantly agree, "but this is the last time" I am not too confident that it is.
"I promise" she swears.
*
"And look who it is, I knew I felt a chill" Kiara jibes as soon as I walk in, "I'm not here for drama, I'm here to pick up my order" I readjust my turtleneck.
"Well I didn't see an order under 'bitch' but I'll double-check" she fakely smiles at me, standing up from the table where John B, Pope and Maybank are sitting.
"Guess I was wrong, here it is" Kiara comes out with my order, practically throwing it at me, a scowl on her face.
"Thank you" I catch the bag.
"Oh one more thing, Maybank, quelle est votre taille?" They all look at me confused, "what?" He wonders. "I asked what your size was in French dumbass" I roll my eyes, "you know for suits and stuff" I clarify.
"What?" He doesn't follow.
"It's your plan, right? For me sneak in and steal the map" they look at me wide-eyed, "well I'm not going to do it alone" I state. "So what do you say, Maybank? We've done it before - want to do it again?" He's the one I trust to actually have my back.
He's had it before.
"One last time because I'm out after this" I reaffirm but I know my words mean nothing. I've said that I'm out for a long time yet here I am.
"Yeah, sure" JJ answers, still trying to comprehend everything.
"Good, so meet me at the Ed's in an hour, we'll get you a suit because I know you have nothing of value in your closet," I remark, "you would be right, I'll be there" he smirks and I force my eyes away from him.
"Good, well I would say it was nice seeing you guys again but it wasn't" I turn on my heels and strut off.
Exhaling when I am out of their sight.
It doesn't get any easier looking at him.
*
Legs crossed, I glance over at my watch for the fifth time in 3 minutes. Ed keeps himself busy rearranging his store while we both wait on Maybank.
"You're late" I don't even look up when I hear the bell jingle from the front door.
"Relax princess, I got here as soon as I could" his voice floats through the room, like a melody to my ears. "Yes, because you are just so busy" I roll my eyes and stand up, finally meeting his waiting eyes and for a moment we are back in the cloakroom.
"Let's just get this over with" I look away, breaking the intense eye contact.
"We're ready, Ed, sorry for keeping you waiting" I return to what is important, "no problem" Ed comes over to us. "Have you ever been sized for a suit, son?" He asks JJ, who I can tell feels out of this place, "actually don't answer that" Ed takes in his appearance and finds his answer.
"Let's get you measured out, then" Ed brings JJ over to the mirror, I sit back down and watch carefully. JJ stands still, not sure what to do. My presence also makes him more awkward than usual I'm sure.
Ed finishes the measurements and goes to get some suits that can fit Maybank, leaving us alone.
"So" He breaks the silence, "Sarah convinced you to help us out" I look up to see him looking at me through the mirror. "Yeah, she's very convincing" I smile slightly, my body reacts to him without my mind thinking first.
"About Midsummers-" he starts but stops immediately when Ed walks back in.
I look down to hide my disappointment.
He leaves to try the suits on, coming out to show me each one.
The first is a grey suit jacket, white shirt and grey trousers. He walks out like the clothes are foreign to him. I never could have imagined him in a suit, it is so far from what he usually wears and even the suit from Midsummer's was so thrown together and over the top.
I cover my mouth to hide my laugh.
"Alright, so funny, got your laughs out now" he rolls his eyes, "no, it doesn't look bad, it's just not you" I chuckle. "You actually look classy, Maybank" he looks away but I can spot his smile, "though I don't like that colour on you" I observe.
He waves me off before changing into the next one.
It is a navy suit jacket, the same white undershirt and navy trousers. It fits him better than the last one.
He still feels uncomfortable under my examining gaze.
"Better than the last but still not a fan, it just doesn't seem like you" I comment, he doesn't seem to have an opinion so he just goes to change again.
The next suit takes me by surprise.
A baby blue jacket, white undershirt and baby blue trousers.
It looks exactly like the suit Rafe was wearing at Midsummers. My neck tingles at the memory of his hands forcing all the air out of my lungs.
I clear my throat, tugging at the top of my turtle neck as it suddenly gets very hot in the room. I can barely look up at him.
"Okay, it's not that bad, I actually like this one" he checks himself out in the mirror, oblivious to my mini-breakdown. "I don't like that one at all" I state, still looking in the opposite direction, "why not?" JJ questions.
"It's not your colour" I shrug, "I think it is" he argues.
"Just try another one on!" My voice comes across as more demanding than I expected.
"Okay, whatever" I can finally look up when he walks back into the changing room, my heart calms down as I rid Rafe from my mind.
If only I could do the same for my life.
A few minutes pass and Maybank comes out in the last suit. A classic black suit jacket, black undershirt and black trousers. Now the room is getting hot for a completely different reason.
"I hope you're having fun, 'cause I'm not" he mumbles, still putting on the buttons of his shirt so he misses me checking him out with wide eyes. The suit fits him exquisitely, the jacket just tight enough to accentuate his strong arms.
A glimpse of his toned abs can be seen through the black undershirt.
"That one is alright, I guess" I shrug, pretending that I am not drooling over the sight of him. "Is that it? You treat me like one of your dolls and all I get is alright?" He finishes buttoning up his shirt.
"Okay, it's nice, what do you want me to say?" I stand up and join him.
"I'm not sure" he checks himself out in the mirror again, getting into this even though he will refuse to admit that he enjoyed trying on suits.
"I'm sure, this is the one" I turn him around so he is facing me, "we just need to spruce it up a little, make it seem more you" I play with his collar mindlessly. "Well, what do you have in mind?" He watches my hands.
I slowly undo the top button, hoping he doesn't notice my shaking hands.
He doesn't put up any resistance as I undo some more buttons.
"There" I straighten out his shirt, my fingers grazing his exposed chest. His eyes haven't moved from my hands.
"Much better" I step away from him, inhaling to control myself.
He is just as disappointed at the distance.
"You need a chain, do you have one?" I ask to take away the tension, "just the one I'm wearing now" he replies. "No, not good enough, you need to look expensive" I remind him, "I probably have one of Rafe's somewhere, you can have it" he tucks his lips into a straight line before nodding.
"I'm going to get out of this" he walks back into the dressing room.
"So, which one are you going with?" Ed comes over.
"The last one, the black one" I join him at the register, "alright, good choice, the suit is $200," he tells me. "You accept credit cards, right?" I search for my dad's credit card, I know he is going to kill me when he sees his statement but that is tomorrow's problem.
"Of course" he inputs the amount into the card reader.
"So, what's the occasion?" He asks as we wait for the payment to go through, "pardon?" I ask. "Why are you buying a fancy suit for your boyfriend?" I go to correct him but there really isn't a point to doing that.
"It's his birthday" I make up.
"Young love, I remember that" he reminisces just as Maybank comes out in his usual clothes, holding the suit I chose.
"Thanks for your help, Ed, have a nice day" I take his arm and lead us both out of the shop, "shouldn't we pay for it first?" Maybank turns back around to look at the store. "I already paid" I shrug like it is no big deal.
"How much was it? Like $50?" He guesses.
"Something like that" I chuckle, "really?" He doesn't believe me. "Just a bit more expensive" I reply as he stops me, spinning me around so I am facing him.
"How much was it?" He asks again.
"It's not a big deal" I try to avoid the question, "Eliza" I can tell he is serious. "$200" I give in, "$200!" He freaks out, "$200 for one suit? Does it have gold sewn into it?" He remarks. "Nice suits are expensive and Ed's the best in town" I reply.
"I can't afford $200, I still have restitution to pay" he reminds me.
"That's why I paid for it" I try to walk away but he stops me again, "and where did you get the money?" He pries. "Does it matter? It's paid for" I pull my arm away, "this is where people usually say thank you" I retort.
"Where did you get the money?" He repeats.
"I used my dad's credit card, are you happy now?" I answer, "he's going to kill you" Maybank warns.
"And why do you care what happens to me?"
He goes silent, looking down at his feet, thinking of a snarky comeback but he has none.
"I'll be ready at 3" I change the subject, "Sarah said she and John B will drive us to Charlotte and wait for us" he nods along.
"So, I'll see you at 3" he lets me walk away.
*
"Okay, so your mother is with Rose tonight so we should be able to leave without any disruptions" I hear Sarah say from outside the bathroom, "what did you tell your parents about tonight anyway?" She questions.
"Didn't have to say much, dad's working the night shift and mother thinks I am going to be with Rafe" I respond.
"Speaking of Rafe, he keeps asking me why you are not answering his texts?" I pause at her words, "how bad was your argument at Midsummers?" Thankfully she cannot see my dejected facial expressions right now.
"Just a little spat" I lie, "everything is fine, I've just been a preoccupied with tutor sessions and now this" I continue, "I'll reply to him later" I focus back on straightening the last few strands of my hair.
Once I'm done, I unplug the straightener and finish the last pieces of my look before leaving the bathroom.
"OMG!" Sarah leaps up from my bed.
"You look so good!" She cheers, "like so sexy! You are definitely getting into the auction because no one is turning you away" she winks.
"Thanks, Saz" I beam, she always has a way to lift my confidence.
"By any chance, are you trying to impress Maybank?" She teases, "absolutely not" I shake my head. "Plus, it wouldn't take much to impress him, just a little cleavage" I joke and she laughs with me.
"You did choose him to go with you, instead of Pope who might have been a better choice" she brings up.
"I just thought since we did it before, we can do it again" I put on my earrings, "plus, he's smarter than people give him credit for" I mumble and Sarah sends me a knowing look.
"Stop!" I throw a pillow at her.
"Stop what?" She catches it.
"Don't look at me that way" I playfully warn.
"I have no idea what you are talking about" she plays innocent.
"You do look really beautiful though" she throws the pillow back at me, "thank you" I put the pillow on my bed. "Thanks again for doing this" she pulls me into a much-needed hug, "of course, you're my best friend" I hug her back.
When we pull away, Sarah touches her cheek weirdly.
"What's wrong?" I ask as she looks down at her fingers.
"Why do you have makeup all over your neck?" She figures it out.
It takes everything in me to remain composed.
"Because your brother can't help himself" I chuckle, "he always giving me hickeys that last ages" I come up with quickly. "They're fading now but I don't want my parents or anyone to ask me about it" Sarah believes my lie.
"Well you must be a pro at covering hickeys, 'cause I've never seen them" she mentions.
I am a pro at covering more than just hickeys.
"The guys should be downstairs" I change the topic, "we should go now before we got caught" she helps me find my heels before we head downstairs.
We walk around the corner and of course, the Pogues Mystery Machine is conspicuously parked along the suburban street. Completely out of place that I'm surprised that some high nose hasn't called it in.
John B is looking out the window, grinning when he spots Sarah and me.
Well, when he spots Sarah.
He jumps out of the front seat, racing towards Sarah to peck her lips eagerly. He helps her into the front seat while opening the back for me.
"JJ, make sure you're decent, Eliza's here" he calls out before swinging the door open.
My eyes land on Maybank who is laying across the seats in his black suit, his black shirt only partly buttoned like I showed him. He seems to be asleep but when the door opens, the light wakes him up.
He slowly sits up and adjusts to the light before his eyes fall on me.
Now it's my turn to feel uncomfortable under his examining gaze. There isn't a part of me that his eyes haven't glossed over.
I wonder what he sees when he looks at me, it can't be anything special.
"I guess you look alright" he smirks.
"Shut up, Maybank" I shove his feet off the seat, biting my lip to avoid my smile as John B helps me into the car.
"Only you would make an expensive suit look cheap, Maybank" I run my hand through his ruffled hair that he made no effort to make presentable. "Must I do everything?" I look through my purse for a brush to brush out his bed hair.
"Did you even moisturise?" I look him over again.
"I'm a guy" he retorts and I roll my eyes.
"Oh, I almost forget" I look through my purse for the chain, "here you go" I clip it around his neck. Not really realising how close I had gotten to him, my body is practically leaning on him. He smiles down at me when he also comes to the same realisation.
We haven't been this close since Midsummers.
I move back in the seat quickly, Sarah and John B also noticing from the front seat, sharing knowing looks but not saying anything.
"There, you look somewhat decent now" I fix my dress, "what would I do without you, her majesty?" He jokes.
"Whatever" I cough to clear my throat, ignoring the heat in my cheeks.
"Okay, if you guys are done fraternising, let's talk about the plan," John B remarks, Maybank and I both roll our eyes, moving up so we are even further apart. "The fake map is in the back" I reach over to the backseat to grab the map.
"So when you have the chance, you have to swap them out and get out of there" John B instructs.
"How exactly am I meant to sneak this in?" I hold up the fake map, which is much bigger than I expected. "Do I have to think of everything?" John B retorts and I roll my eyes once again, trying to think of an idea.
It is too big to fit under Maybank's suit jacket so there is only one option left.
I reach forward to grab Sarah's silk hair scarf.
"What the hell?" She turns to me confused.
"Do you want this plan to actually work?" I counter, tearing the scarf into two pieces. "That's real silk!" Sarah exclaims, "I'll get you another one" I lift the right side of my flowy dress up so my leg is exposed.
Maybank's eyes immediately find my skin but I ignore him.
I place the rolled-up map on the side of my thigh, ready to tie it with the scarf.
"It's easier if you tie it to the inside of your thigh, instead of the outside" Maybank comments, "I'm sure the outside is fine" I ignore him. "You will be able to see the outline in your dress" he makes a good point.
"Fine" I reluctantly agree, beginning to lift the other side of my dress when I notice him watching me expectantly.
"Well look away" I order, "I wasn't looking anyway" he denies, turning to look out the window, "it's not like I haven't seen it before anyway" he mumbles. "I'm sorry, what?" Sarah and John B both gasp.
"It's not what it sounds like" I quickly set the record straight, "so what is it meant to sound like?" Sarah winks. "It's a long story" I don't have the energy to explain our impromptu surfing lesson, "now keep your eyes on the road, John B" I lift up the rest of my dress so my underwear is exposed.
Spreading my legs so I can fit the map between my thighs, I try to tie it myself but I can't tie it and hold it in place at the same time.
"Saz, I need your help" I whine, "well I'm in the front, nothing I can do from up here, ask JJ" I know what she is doing. My stubbornness sets in and I am motivated to do this by myself, definitely not asking him for any help.
"You finished yet?" Maybank complains.
"Shut up" I state, "what is taking you so long?" He is just doing this to annoy me.
"It won't tie tight enough" I reply and he looks away from the window, his eyes following my bare legs up to my face. "I told you not to look!" I let my dress fall so I am covered, "oh please, I just want to help" he replies.
"I don't need your help" I cross my arms defiantly.
"Fine" he gives up and turns back to the window, "we have a five-hour drive anyway, take your time" he taunts. "Fine" it's my turn to give in, "you can help me but don't enjoy it too much" I allow.
"I'll try and help myself" he rolls his eyes.
Inhaling quietly, I lift my dress back up, feeling even more exposed under his eye. I feel more vulnerable than when he saw me in my underwear before, but I can't show him. His eyes widen with every movement I take as he shuffles next to me.
He lays his hand on my right thigh and I hold back a flinch from his cold, soft hands. It stays in one place but I wish he would run it down my leg.
I'm an addict for his touch.
His hand moves to the inside of my thigh, hooking underneath my knee as he spreads my legs even further apart. A gasp is caught in my throat when the same hand traces down my inner thigh until he reaches the dip between my thigh and his desired spot.
He glances up at me and I find his eyes immediately.
He expects me to freak out, and yell at him. I open my mouth but nothing comes out.
"Everything okay over there?" Sarah unknowingly interrupts the moment.
"Yeah, everything is fine" I reply, adjusting in the seat so his hand falls off me, "I'll hold the map and you tie it" I remember where I am. "Yeah, cool" he clears his throat, taking the scarf pieces from me.
I hold the map to my thigh and he ties one piece around the top of my thigh and another piece around the bottom.
"Is it tight enough?" My mind betrays me because of our earlier moment before I realise he is talking about the map.
"Yeah, it's good, it's not coming off" I nod but he doesn't lift his hands from my skin, playing with the ends of the scarf while his thumbs stroke my skin.
"Well thanks for that, Maybank, guess you are good for some things" I move my leg away, not wanting to get used to his touch because it is dangerous for both of us. I let my dress fall again, looking out the window to calm myself down.
"All done? I can look in the back now?" John B asks.
"Yeah, we're all done" Maybank mutters.
Soon enough, he and Sarah get lost in their own conversation. She never used to laugh this much when she was with Topper. I'm happy for her, she found something in John B, something she has been looking for, for a long time.
I just hope he doesn't hurt her.
They are so lost in their own world that they are oblivious to the complete silence in the backseat. Maybank and I both look out our respective windows, miles away from each other because it's almost as though if we touch, we will combust immediately.
I don't know how I am going to make it through the night.
*
"Okay, so you guys know the plan, right?" John B doublechecks, "yes, you have told us like a million times" JJ gets out first. He offers his hand absentmindedly, it surprises me but I take it nonetheless.
He helps me out of the van without really acknowledging it.
"Okay, just checking" John B defends, "because we only have one shot at this" he reminds us. "We know" I comment, straightening my dress out, "so let us get this over with before we miss the entire auction" I add.
"Fine, just remember that Sarah and I will be parked down the road, so call us when you've got it," he tells us, "and what will you and Sarah be doing?" I wink. "Nothing, just talking" Sarah shrugs but her grin gives her away.
"Well, have fun talking" I link my arm with Maybank's before leading us away.
It is so much more difficult to walk with the map between my legs, especially since I am not trying to draw any attention to us.
"Right, so remember not to say a single thing, leave all the talking to me" I demand, "yes, her majesty," he rolls his eyes.
We join the queue of people waiting to get inside. I am pleasantly surprised that we actually fit in, no one even gives us a second glance.
"So, how exactly are we getting in?" I whisper to Maybank the closer we get to the front, "I don't know" he shrugs. "What do you mean you don't know?" I stare at him wide-eyed, "this was your plan" I remind him.
"We didn't think this far" he responds, not worried at all.
I notice everyone showing an invitation to the security guard, an invitation we do not have.
"So you guys made a fake map but not a fake invitation" I can't believe this right now, there is no way we are getting inside. "Is Elizabeth Shoupe scared?" He jokes, "no, Elizabeth Shoupe is angry that you guys wasted her time" I speak in the third person.
"We are never getting in without an invitation" I keep my voice low.
"Don't tell me you are backing away from a challenge" he taunts, "I never back away from a challenge but this isn't a challenge, it is stupid" I shake my head.
"Well stupid or not, it's our turn, so you better come up with something quick" he grins as the couple in front of us shows the invitation and is allowed in.
Guess it is now or never.
I lift my head, tugging Maybank forward through our linked arms. Passing by the security guard confidently as though we belong to be here.
"Excuse me!" He grabs my arm and I turn around overdramatically, acting really shocked that he would touch me. "How dare you?" I rip my arm away, "qui pensez-vous être pour poser vos mains sur moi? Je devrais vous faire virer! (Who do you think you are to lay your hands on me? I should have you fired!)" I exclaim in French.
Maybank watches in awe.
"Where's your invitation?" The security guard is unfazed by my outburst.
"Le manque de respect! Comment oses-tu me parler comme ça? Sais-tu qui je suis? (The lack of respect! How dare you talk to me like that? Do you know who I am?)" I keep hurling more French at him, knowing he does not speak the language.
"Is everything okay over here?" Someone else comes over, from his suit I can tell he is very high up. "I don't know, she won't show her invitation" the security guard shrugs, "and she keeps speaking French, I don't know if she speaks much English" he adds.
"Quel est le problème? (What is the problem?)" The man turns towards me.
"Je suis content que vous demandiez, votre agent de sécurité est très grossier et a eu l'audace de me malmener! (I'm glad you asked, your security guard is very rude and had the audacity to manhandle me!)" I keep up the act, "je m'excuse, mais si vous pouviez nous montrer votre invitation (I'm sorry, but if you could show us your invitation)" I scoff at his response.
"Invitation ? Je n'ai pas besoin d'invitation, ne savez-vous pas qui je suis ? C'est mon grand-père qui est responsable de toute cette vente aux enchères ("Invitation? I don't need an invitation, don't you know who I am? It's my grandfather who's responsible for this whole auction)" I take a stab in the dark and I hope it won't come to blow up in our face.
My words now startle the man and I realise he is afraid of his superiors.
"Il ne sera pas heureux de la façon dont vous avez traité sa seule petite-fille et son compagnon (He won't be happy with the way you treated his only granddaughter and her companion)" I gesture to Maybank and I, "où est-il actuellement ? Je suis sûr qu'il va arranger ça (where is he now? I'm sure he'll sort it out)" I pretend to look around.
"L'organisateur de la vente aux enchères ne sera pas en mesure de venir ce soir (the auction organizer is unable to attend tonight)" he answers and this works in my favour.
"C'est bon, je vais l'appeler tout de suite (It's okay, I'll call him right away)" I threaten, "donne-moi mon téléphone, chérie (give me my phone, honey)" Maybank looks at me with a blank look, not understanding what I am saying at all.
I repeat my sentence and he just about understands telephone.
He fishes through my purse for me.
"Quel est votre nom, monsieur ? Je suis sûr que mon grand-père voudrait connaître le nom de l'homme grossier qui me traite avec un tel manque de respect (What's your name, sir? I'm sure my grandfather would like to know the name of the rude man who treats me with such disrespect)" the man starts to panic but he hides it well.
"Qui ne sera pas nécessaire (It won't be necessary)" he responds just as Maybank hands me my phone and I pretend to dial a number.
"Je m'excuse pour cette confusion, veuillez me pardonner et profitez du reste de votre soirée (I apologize for the confusion, please forgive me and enjoy the rest of your evening)" he apologises, worried about losing his job.
"J'oublierai votre manque de manières, mais que cela ne se reproduise pas (I'll forget your lack of manners, but don't let it happen again)" I hand my phone back to Maybank who is still very confused.
"Oui, Mademoiselle (Yes, Miss)" he lets us through.
We hold off on celebrations, walking into the main area confidently.
"Wow, that was amazing" Maybank chuckles when we are far from everyone, "guess acting like a spoiled brat is second nature" I smirk. "Well for you, it isn't an act" he teases, "Hey, remember I am doing this for you guys" I whack him.
"Right, let's get this over with then" we look around the room, everyone has their auction paddles ready while they mingle over hors d'oeuvres and drinks.
The auction hasn't started yet so we have a little time to get the map and get out of here.
"Do you think that's an open bar?" He is distracted by the alcohol.
"I don't know" I shrug, "who cares, focus on what we need to do" I remind him. "I'll be more focused with a beer" he smirks, "you are unbelievable, Maybank" I roll my eyes. "Come on, have some fun" he takes my hand and leads me over to the bar.
"Two beers my good man" he orders with the bartender who looks at him weirdly.
"Ce qu'il veut dire, c'est deux verres de champagne, s'il vous plaît (What he means is two glasses of champagne, please)" I quickly add so he doesn't get suspicious of our ages. The bartender nods and gets our drinks, "what did I tell you about no talking" I nudge him.
"Remember, we have to be classy and elegant" I state, "I know it is hard for you but at least try" I jibe as the bartender gives us our drinks.
He immediately goes to another customer so I assume it is an open bar.
"Champagne, huh?" JJ raises his brow, impressed with my choice, "I thought we were having fun" I hand him his glass. "To having fun" he raises his glass, "to having fun" we clink glasses before we gulp them down.
We finish our drinks quickly, I already wave the bartender down for two more glasses.
Just as quickly as the drinks are handed to us, we finish them as well, still seated at the bar, laughing about nothing at all. The alcohol lowers our defences so we can just enjoy each other's company.
We are on our third glass of champagne when it is announced that the auction will begin in 30 minutes.
"Shit" I realise we have been wasting time we don't have, "this is all your fault, Maybank, we still need to find the map" I whack him. "Relax, we have 30 minutes" he tries to calm me down, "that would help if we knew where the map was" I point out.
"Well, what are you standing around for? Let's go find it" he finishes his champagne before walking off.
I finish my glass and follow him even though I know he has no idea where he is going.
Maybank walks around aimlessly while I spot workers all heading in the same direction.
"Over there" I point it out to Maybank, "but they are too many people, how are we going to do this?" I worry. "Alright, you find the map and I'll make a distraction" he plots, "what kind of distraction?" I question.
"Trust me okay, it worked last time" he winks.
"I don't think this is the same situation" I argue, "we don't have time to argue so unless you have a better plan, we have no choice" he counters. "Fine" I sigh, "just don't get yourself caught" I request.
"Worry about yourself beautiful," he says those familiar words and they still set my heart on fire.
He makes his way to the hors d'oeuvres table, I pause in anticipation of his grand plan. He pretends to choke on one of the crab cakes, being completely melodramatic.
Many workers rush past me to get to him, I take this as my chance to sneak through the service door undetected. When inside, I look around and I don't see any of the auction materials instead I have walked right into the kitchen.
Just fantastic.
Here we go.
"Bonsoir chef, il me semble que je suis un peu perdu (Good evening chef, I seem to be a bit lost)" I fake overconfidence.
"Je suis censé appeler les articles de la vente aux enchères et ils ont dit que je pouvais jeter un coup d'oeil pour me familiariser avec les qualités afin que je puisse les vendre au mieux (I'm supposed to call the auction items and they said I could take a look to familiarize myself with the qualities so I can sell them to the best of my ability)" I explain.
"Mais je n'arrive pas à trouver où ils se trouvent (But I can't find where they are)" the chef looks at me questioningly so I know I have to push to make this believable.
"Vous voyez, mon grand-père est responsable de cette vente aux enchères, mais comme le lieu a été changé à la dernière minute, il n'a pas pu venir (You see, my grandfather is in charge of this auction, but as the venue was changed at the last minute, he couldn't make it)" I lie.
"Donc je suis censé prendre sa place mais c'est tellement à la dernière minute que je ne suis pas prêt (So I'm supposed to take his place but it's so last minute I'm not ready)" I giggle, playing the dumb girl card.
"Les articles de la vente aux enchères sont dans la salle derrière la scène (The auction items are in the room behind the stage)" he informs me, "Bien sûr, comme je suis stupide, merci beaucoup (Of course, how stupid of me, thank you very much)" I rush out without another word.
Maybank is still giving his Oscar-worthy performance, on the floor as they try to give him some water.
I walk past and towards the stage, everyone is either watching Maybank or chatting amongst themselves so no one pays me any attention. Which is perfect as I am able to sneak through the door behind the stage.
"Que faites-vous ici? (What are you doing here?)" A random voice alarms me.
"Moi ? Que fais-tu ici? (Me? What are you doing here?)" I fireback.
"Je suis le commissaire-priseur (I'm the auctioneer)," How do I get out of this?
"Tu n'as pas reçu le message? Je suis le nouveau commissaire-priseur (You didn't get the message? I'm the new auctioneer)" I really hope he believes me.
"Je n'ai pas reçu de message (I didn't receive a message)" He does not back down, "qui a envoyé le message? (who sent the message?)" He questions, really testing my acting skills.
"Votre boss (Your boss)" I keep it vague, "qui est aussi mon grand-père (who is also my grandfather)" I quickly add because it has got me this far.
"Votre grand-père est Louis Dupont? (Your grandfather is Louis Dupont?)" He says a name I do not recognise but I assume he is the organiser of this auction and the man I am claiming is my grandfather.
"Bien sûr (of course)" I nod over-confidently, "il a dit que je pourrais être le commissaire-priseur parce que personne ne vend mieux qu'une belle femme (he said I could be the auctioneer because nobody sells better than a beautiful woman)" I smugly add, going back to my spoiled brat role.
"Si vous ne me croyez pas, vous pouvez l'appeler et lui demander (If you don't believe me, you can call him and ask him)" I challenge, "Il est très occupé, mais je suis sûre qu'il serait ravi de répondre à votre appel (he's very busy, but I'm sure he'd be delighted to take your call)" I sarcastically mention.
"Non, je vous crois (No, I believe you)," he changes his tone really quickly - also afraid of this Louis Dupont guy.
"Je peux vous aider? (May I help you?)" He offers, "parce que je suis une femme, j'ai besoin d'aide? (because I'm a woman, I need help?)" I mock offence.
"Non, non, je proposais juste mon aide (No, no, I was just offering my help)" he apologises, "Je n'ai pas besoin d'aide (I don't need any help)" I decline before I gesture for him to leave me alone.
He rushes out, leaving me alone with the auction materials.
"I cannot believe that worked" I mumble to myself, looking around for the map.
I finally find it in the back, protected by a glass lid as it lays on a red velvet cloth. How important do they think it is?
Keeping an eye on the door, I lift my dress up to reach for the map between my thighs. If anyone was to walk in right now, I don't know how I would explain this position. I untie the knots and pull out the map.
Unrolling it to see that it is a really bad outline of Outer Banks with the word 'Pogues' scrawled through the middle with a drawing of a hand with the middle finger raised - JJ's work I can only guess.
Chuckling, I roll it up again and place it down while I lift up the glass case. Carefully swapping the fake map for the real one.
Are we really going to get away with this?
I lift up my dress again, putting the map between my thighs again. Struggling to tie it without his help, it keeps shifting but eventually, it ties, very loose but it will have to do. Fixing myself up, I walk out of the room but this time I draw my attention than originally planned.
Smiling brightly to avoid suspicion, I make my way to Maybank who is back at the bar with another glass of champagne.
"Wow, must have been so exhausting for you" I take the glass from him and finish it myself, "hey!" He complains. "I deserved it more than you since it was me who lied my ass off after nearly getting caught twice" I point out.
"Did you get it?" He asks.
"Did I get it?" I scoff, "do you think I am an amateur?" I smirk.
"So my distraction did work" he grins, "yeah, it was all you" I roll my eyes, "anyway, let's get out of here before they realise I am not Louis Dupont's granddaughter" I instruct
"Who is Louis Dupont?" He wonders.
"The guy I am pretending is my grandfather, keep up" I state as I take my phone to text Sarah and John B that we have it so they can come and pick us up. Sighing, I readjust the map between my thighs since it is becoming so uncomfortable.
"The sooner we are out of here, the sooner I can get rid of this map because it is starting to give me chaffing" I complain while Maybank stays in place, looking at me with an amused look.
"What is so funny?" I question.
"Nothing" he grins, "I just forgot to tell you that you look really beautiful tonight" he brushes the single fallen hair strand behind my ear. "Are you drunk, Maybank?" I question but he ignores me, resting his hand on my cheek while his other hand tugs me towards him.
I am close enough to smell the champagne fresh on his breath, his thumb slowly stroking my jaw as I just about summon enough confidence to meet his eye.
"I remember I asked if Rafe would forgive you if I kissed you" he recalls with a little bit of liquid courage. "Why are you bringing this up?" I wonder, "just answer the question" he pushes, his eyes lingering on my lips.
"Probably not, he really doesn't like you" My voice is just above a whisper.
"Well, fuck Rafe" before I can even understand what is going on, his lips are on mine but only for a moment before he pulls back. "I've been meaning to do that since Midsummers" he mumbles, reading my mind.
He intertwines our lips, not caring about the crowded room we find ourselves in.
It takes a second for the shock to wear off before I kiss him back, our lips moving in perfect sync as though it was only him I was meant to be this close with. All other kisses I have ever had cease to exist.
It is as though I am now a blank canvas for him to paint on. For him to do what he pleases.
His lips mould with mine tenderly, he isn't forcefully looking for more like Rafe usually does. My hands find his neck and his arms move to wrap tightly around my waist, holding me like he is afraid I don't exist.
As if when he stops kissing me, I will just disappear into thin air.
The first time our lips met, in that school play of Romeo and Juliet, we were kids, so incredibly young that it lasted only a second. I wish I had known his lips felt like this, I could have kissed him for hours.
Our teeth clink together as all the buried frustrations from the van resurface, and his tongue pokes through, swirling around the top of my mouth.
I get a taste of what his tongue can do.
His mouth tells me things he could never say, that I am safe with him and that he isn't going anywhere no matter how hard I push him away. That maybe, just maybe, it is possible for someone as difficult as me to be truly loved.
"LÀ-BAS! ILS SONT LÀ! (THERE! THEY'RE HERE!)" I hear in the background, sharply cutting through all the muted conversations.
"What's wrong?" JJ asks when I suddenly pull away.
"That" I point behind him.
His hands drop from my waist as he spins around to spot all the security making their way to us and an unknown older man leading them.
We have been found out.
"Que se passe-t-il? (What's going on?)" I remain calm when they reach us, JJ stepping in front of me to protect me.
"Je suis Louis Dupont (I am Louis Dupont)" Oh no! This is really bad.
"On m'a dit que tu disais à tout le monde que tu es ma petite-fille (they tell me you are telling everyone you're my granddaughter)" I am literally speechless, JJ and I sharing worried looks.
"Je n'ai pas de petite-fille, seulement un petit-fils (I don't have a granddaughter, only a grandson)" he responds, "alors qui êtes-vous et pourquoi êtes-vous ici? (so who are you and why are you here?)" The security guards step closer.
"Vous voyez, tout ceci est un énorme malentendu, la vérité est que- (You see, this is all a huge misunderstanding, the truth is-)" I pause when I realise I don't have an excuse, turning to JJ for help.
"What's that behind you?!" JJ jumps in, pointing behind them.
Stupidly they fall for it.
He grabs my arm and drags me so we can break off into a sprint. He throws chairs behind us so they can't catch up.
The map slips out but I quickly grab it and keep running, my heels long discarded like a modern-day Cinderella as I try to keep up with JJ. The security guards are hot on our trail as JJ slows down so I can catch up.
He takes my free hand, pulling me so I match his speed.
They try and bloke the doors but we manage to squeeze through, sprinting down the steps as we spot the van across the road.
"OPEN THE DOOR!" JJ yells as John B looks out the window confused before he realises what is going on.
"OPEN THE DOOR!" JJ and I both yell.
Sarah jumps out of the van and opens the door, John B is ready to drive as soon as we are in. I throw the map inside before diving in, Sarah holding onto me. JJ barely makes it on before John B starts racing away.
I cling onto his arm so he can steady himself, the sliding door still wide open.
The security guards stop running, not seeing a point in chasing a car. I lean out the open door so they can see me.
"Suca ma bite! (Suck my dick!)" I yell smugly, throwing them the finger.
JJ laughs beside me, still high on the adrenaline of what just happened.
"Okay, that's enough" Sarah pulls me back so she can shut the door.
"What the hell happened!?" John B demands to know while still going past the speed limit. JJ and I lean back, breathing heavily but still laughing, neither of us in a state to explain what happened.
It will just be our moment.
*
It is early morning, we are parked in the parking lot of some random diner. John B and Sarah were hungry and they wanted something to eat before we drove back to Outer Banks.
"You don't have to keep me company" I lie down on the seat, "if you're hungry, you should go with them," I tell him. "I'm not hungry" he sits on the floor next to the seat, fiddling with something out of my sight.
I realise what he is doing when the smell fills up the van.
"Really?" I sit up, spotting him grinding some weed, "I think I've earned this today" he shrugs.
"How often do you smoke?" I join him on the floor.
"Once or twice" he shrugs again.
"A week? That's not bad" I mention, "a day" he corrects me. "You smoke every day?" I ask, "nothing much to do in the cut, remember," he remarks. "It messes with your brain, you know?" I remind him.
"Good thing I don't have anything going for me" he smirks, "as you said, I have no future so who needs a brain" he retorts.
"Maybe the reason you don't have a future is that you smoke all the time instead of doing valuable things with your time" I argue, "well at least I'm happy" he fires back and I can't come back from that.
"I think I want fries so I'm going to join Sarah and John B" I lift myself up, opening the door because for some reason the kiss has only made things worse between us.
"I wasn't drunk" he calls out.
"What?" I stop.
"When I kissed you, I wasn't drunk, I just really wanted to kiss you" he admits.
I close the sliding door, sitting back down.
"I thought you were going to join John B and Sarah" he looks up at me confused, "I'd rather stay here" I smile softly.
Another comfortable silence falls upon us as he starts to roll a blunt, he notices my intrigue at his actions. "You've never smoked?" He questions, "don't see the point" I shake my head, "plus I actually have a brain and a future" he chuckles lowly.
"You are so boring" he jokes.
"Excuse me" I kick him playfully, "I don't need to smoke to be interesting" I defend. "Well, how about you amuse me" he finishes rolling. He leans forward, and his thumb traces over my lips, parting them slightly so he can place the blunt between them.
His eyes don't leave mine as he pulls out his lighter, lighting the blunt.
I inhale deeply, the smoke filling up my mouth, I pull it out before turning my head to the side to cough.
"Another thing I am better at than you, her majesty" he laughs at my reaction like it is so hilarious while I feel like my lungs have been burnt.
"Here, let me show you" he takes the blunt from me to bring to his lips and he inhales before breathing out the smoke, not coughing like me but he does this every day so it makes sense. He takes a few more puffs before passing it back to me.
I take it reluctantly, mimicking what he did but I still feel the urge to cough.
It takes me a few more times before I can inhale without coughing.
"I'm so proud" he jokes, hands behind his head as he watches me manage to breathe out the smoke for the first time without coughing.
"You really are a bad influence on me, Maybank" I pass it back to him, my voice harsh because of my dry throat.
"I've heard that before" he smirks, blunt hanging from his lips.
*
We have found ourselves laying down on the floor side by side, our fingers reaching for each other but not touching. My head feels heavy and my eyes are struggling to see through all the smoke in this van.
When he speaks, his voice is not in sync with his mouth which just makes me laugh, completely forgetting what he is saying.
"You are totally a hopeless romantic" he comments.
"Am not" I deny, "honestly, fuck Romeo and Juliet, I want whatever Bonnie and Clyde had" I exhale, smoke still on my breath.
"I never thought I would hear Miss All About Rules saying that," he remarks, "shut up" I nudge him as we just enjoy each other's company.
"You know, now, I know why you do this all the time" I giggle, the weight of all the stress and anxiety has been swept off me. Life doesn't seem so serious anymore and time is just an illusion, it feels like it will never run out.
Like I could be here forever.
"Yeah, you never forget your first high" he finishes off the second blunt.
"What do you need to forget?" I ask.
"What?" He breathily chuckles.
"People don't get high all the time unless they want to forget things" I point out, "you know when you're high, you're not meant to be this talkative" he nudges me, my side feeling even more ticklish.
"You can't avoid my question" I nudge my foot against his ankle.
"Question is what I shouldn't forget" he mumbles and even in my elevated state, I can tell he doesn't want to speak about this.
"What about you?" He turns the focus to me, "want to forget how you are in love with a criminal" he teases. "I was waiting for when you would bring that up" I giggle before facing him, "it wasn't for you, Maybank, it was a homage to Vlad and Val" I look back at the ceiling.
"Sure it was" he laughs.
"It was" I pout.
I try to sit up but my head is still too heavy so I lean it against the seat.
"You okay?" JJ smirks, also sitting up.
I don't respond, just take him in, everything about him. His messy dirty blonde hair that I just want to run my fingers through. His blue eyes are ocean-strong with hues of warm sun-lit currents.
Reminding me of science class with the bunsen burners, the blue flames the teachers warned us about because it was much hotter than the orange flame.
I did not heed the warning as I've already been burnt.
His soft lips, which are usually stretched into a boyish smirk, because he knows just how to get under my skin more than anyone else. His smile is bright enough to guide ships and melt even the coldest of hearts.
"What are you looking at?" He wonders about my silence.
I leap forward, smothering his lips with mine.
"Wait" he pulls away, "you're really high right now, you don't know what you are doing."
Smirking, I shift so I am straddling him, my bare thighs tickled by the material of his suit. "Eliza-" he tries to say, "you really need to shut up sometimes, Maybank" I interrupt him, intertwining our lips together like before.
I lead this kiss, pushing my tongue into his mouth as our tongues battle for dominance. A fight that I win.
He slowly starts kissing me back, his hands resting on my lower back while I grind my hips into his.
I want him to dig his hands into my waist, and leave an imprint but he is holding me like he might break me.
Wrapping my arms around his neck, his back against the wall of the van, I press my chest into his. Pulling back, his bottom lip between my teeth, he stares at me with lustful eyes.
"Are you sure about this?" He rasps.
I send him a sly wink before focusing my attention on his tender neck. I nibble at the bottom of his neck, sucking on the skin until it is bruised. He runs his fingers up my back until they end up in my hair.
He yanks my head back up, his dominant side appearing, forcing his lips against mine again. His tongue dances with mine, our breathing lost in each other's mouth. The taste of smoke is still on his tongue.
He shakily moans into my mouth while I slide my hands down his toned torso, ripping his black shirt, the buttons flying around the van but neither of us care. He helps me pull the shirt off, discarding it to the side.
He yanks my hair again so I am looking at the ceiling, his hot breath fans over my neck. I am immediately conscious of the makeup all over my bruised neck, I am sure it has pretty much rubbed off at this point.
One hand leaves my hair, tracing down my neck lightly.
"What happened?" He mumbles, leaving soft kisses down to my collarbone.
I pause, I almost want to tell him the truth but I know I can't.
To distract him from my bruised neck, I push him so he is laying down, readjusting myself on top of him, rocking my hips into his. I can feel him on the brink of bursting out of his trousers, it only makes me more desperate as I grind into him harder, wanting more friction.
He bites his lip, staring at the ceiling to control himself.
I lean down so we are pressed together again, capturing his plumped lips in mine once again, more fervency in our kiss as we know what we want. Matching my rhythm, he thrusts up to grind into me.
I break the kiss, moaning into his shoulder. He shudders when I nip at his earlobe. Twisting his head to kiss my cheek gently, his arms wrapped around me to keep me flat against him while he keeps thrusting up.
My eyes shut by themselves, in complete bliss, his grunts are a melody to my ears.
How can he make me feel this good with his clothes on?
He flips us over, spreading my legs as he nests between, my dress is hiked up to my stomach. He bends my knees, tracing his fingers down my inner thighs like he did before and I could collapse right there.
His touch is all I ever want from now on.
Every point he touched is now on fire.
My body responds only to him, I am at his whim.
He traces a single finger down the front of my underwear, feeling how ready I am for him. His smirk comes back when he realises it is all for him.
I lose sight of him when rests his head between my legs, placing wet kisses down my inner thigh before he reaches the hem of my underwear. He sucks the delicate skin near my core, my hands tugging his hair as my back arches, pushing his face closer.
He doesn't mind, nibbling the skin between his teeth and running his tongue over the tortured spot.
My eyes are glazed, I barely see him lean back over me.
I trace a finger down his cheek before he recaptures my lips, this time a more slow kiss - he is keeping me on the edge.
I try to rush the kiss but he keeps it steady.
Reaching down, I unbuckle his belt, throwing it to the side before I undo his trousers. He understands and kicks them off, not breaking the kiss. I flip us over, thinking it is unfair he is the only one getting undressed.
I pull back to sit up, and he follows me up, not wanting to let go of the kiss.
I push him back down, taking off the straps of my dress, my naked breasts coming into view since I am not wearing a bra. His jaw drops before he regains composure and reaches up immediately to play with them.
One is in his hand and the other in his mouth.
He wastes no time in swirling his tongue around my sensitive nipple, biting it gently while his other hand massages the other breast, his thumb stroking the previous hickey he made. I rest my forehead on the top of his head, low gasps that only he can hear.
"JJ" I keep repeating, my voice faint.
Hearing me say his first name awakens something in him as he becomes more eager to please me. He swaps his attention to the other breast and does the same, sucking on my nipple before nibbling the area around it.
He pulls back, reaching for the dress that is around my waist.
I read his mind, my arms already lifted so he can lift the dress over my head, disregarded like all the other clothes. My soaked underwear and his tightening boxers is the only thing between us, I can feel his arousal digging even more into me as his precum leaks through the material.
There is no going back now.
His eyes bore into mine after he takes in my exposed body, he cups my face gently and brings me closer to him.
"You are so beautiful" he mumbles against my lips, "I don't think you even realise" he adds. "You're just saying that because I'm naked" I try and hide my smile, "I can promise you I'm not" he smirks and closes the gap between us.
He leans forward as he lays me on the floor, hovering over me as our lips merge together, swollen from all the kissing and biting.
Suddenly, he pulls away, sighing.
"What's wrong?" I worry, insecure that he doesn't want me all of the sudden.
"I don't have a condom" he mutters and I can't help but chuckle.
"Don't worry about it" he looks at me confused, "I'm on the pill" I clarify. I got on it a few weeks ago because Rafe kept hinting about ditching condoms.
"You're sure about this?" He double-checks, wanting to make sure I know what I am getting into.
Not replying, I reach down and tug down his boxers, his dick springs out, much bigger and thicker than I anticipated. I can't hide my gasp which definitely strokes his ego, he understands and pulls it down the rest of the way.
"I want this, I want you, JJ."
That is all he needs to hear, my underwear pulled off in seconds as he lines himself up before pushing himself inside. I bite my lip to stop from making a loud noise, I'm definitely not a virgin but he is much bigger than I am used to.
He goes slowly, easing me to relax before he bottoms out in me, waiting for me to adjust before he starts moving.
He hikes my legs up, wrapping them around his torso before leaning down to capture my impatient lips. I kiss him back immediately, my nails already clawing down his back. Our moans lost in each other's mouth.
There is only one name on my mind and in my mouth.
Maybank.
*
"How much did you guys smoke? I can smell it from outside," John B slides open the van door, spotting JJ and I smoking a blunt together. We are both fully dressed and there is no sign of what happened only moments before.
"Not much" JJ shrugs.
I look down to hide my smirk because they are both oblivious.
"I thought you didn't smoke, Beth" Sarah looks at me suspiciously, "first time for everything" I smirk as well.
"Well don't hog it" John B grabs the blunt from JJ before he and Sarah jump into the front seat. He smokes a few puffs before passing it to Sarah and then pulling out of the diner parking lot and heading back to OBX.
Sarah passes it back and I take it but I pass it to JJ, still on a different kind of high. Sarah and John B are once again lost in their own conversation, not paying any attention to us.
JJ takes a few drags, glancing at me subtly, he uses the blunt as a distraction to stop him from smirking.
I hold his gaze, reliving his touch and lips all over me. I can see that he is doing the same. This is for us, no one else, we both turn around at the same time to face back forward. Not a word uttered between us because we already said all that is to be said.
How do we go back to pretending to hate each other?
How do I stay away?
A/N: I was listening to Starlight by Taylor Swift when this idea came to me, I know it is different from what happened in the series but I wanted Eliza and JJ to have their own Vlad and Val moment. Also, I don't speak French, I used DeepL when translating so apologies for any grammatical errors.