the silent room was merely interrupted by the shattering of my phone, as it dropped to the floor. i instantly became nauseous , and no matter how much i swallowed, the lump lodged in my throat kept creeping back up. i choked on my tears standing in the bathroom doorway.
my skin became flushed and my face dampened every minute that went by. my body slowly collapsed down next to his. my fingertips brushed against his blue tinted lips, and his cold pale skin. my hands shook as i reached for his. i simply sat there, examining his lifeless features. the features that less than a month ago, were warm and moving. i looked at the lips that once smiled at me. for some reason, even though his corpse was sitting right in front of me. it was not him. it was not recognizable as the man who danced with me in a air-bnb kitchen months ago, it is not the man who tackled me on the stairwell when we first met.
not knowing whether it was from the growing cells in my body, or from the dead body filling the room, i quickly found myself choking on vomit as i clenched the toilet seat.
shaking, i looked at myself once more in the mirror. looking at my skin, almost as blue and pale as his. we were matching in all ways except the heart. the only difference between us was that one of our hearts was beating, and the other wasn't. looking at my deceased lover on the floor, it made me realize what i had to do.
i sharply inhaled as tears uncontrollably shed down my face, my neck, and my chest. with every breathe, the air felt sharper. sharper than the blade that had been placed into my hand. thats when i made my final portrait. everything slowed as the cold silver drew down a vertical line, releasing the warm red from my body, until suddenly everything stopped. i now knew how he felt. and as i felt myself slipping away, i collapsed onto his corpse.
fading away from reality, she couldn't help but smile. some people would be sad when they reached their end, but lavender was not. she never wanted to die alone, and she wasn't. she knew that she would see him. maybe not today, or tomorrow, but someday.
and just like that, it was done. two heartbeats suddenly became one, then, as quick as it began, it became none.
some of you may think that this journey was all for nothing. but in the few months that she knew wilbur, she became stronger. more confident. sometimes the most important people in our lives are only meant to serve us for a limited amount of time. but it was worth it. and in the last 7 minutes of her brain activity, the only thing that was playing on repeat was her time with him. the first time they locked eyes, the way she felt when he gave her a tour, and the way she felt when she knew that jack was gone. she was so filled up with warm memories that her body almost could've warmed up again. she also saw her future if fate hadn't had its turn.
A/N
thank you guys so much for reading this. all of my views really do mean so much to me and to the few people that have been here since january, thank you for sticking around. i'm not good at critiquing myself but please let me know if this was worth it. i struggled a lot with my mental health over the course of these long 9 months. even if this isn't the best story i could've written, i'm still immensely proud of it. i'm considering enrolling for my honors english class at my high school next year (it's too late this year) so let me know if you think i could make it :)
even though i'm mostly out of my MCYT phase, i still felt obligated to continue writing this story, because after a while, it wasn't really about Wilbur anymore. it was just a story that i wanted to write.
but seriously, this story has meant so much to me this year. i have poured my emotions into the words that cover your screen and i really hope it comes through. thank you for reading <3
-sid
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<33
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january 7 2021 ~ september 9 2021