Bella | paris
photophile- someone who loves light
•••
{tw— PTSD, mentions of child abuse}
The cold brisk air of the night hits me like a ton of bricks, whisking me away momentarily as I and Amelie step off the plane and onto the airstrip, our path illuminated by the moon and the bright stars that rule over the dreamy, darkened sky.
We walk in silence taking in our surroundings, the french words written on a sign directing us to the baggage claim.
Thank the lord.
I have lived on the Gold Coast my whole life, with the sun beating down on my freckled skin, bike rides to the corner store, and always having a swimsuit in the bottom of my school bag for a quick dip at the beach. It's refreshing being away for the first time. I'm possibly relieved and happy but then I am also still not in touch with my emotions. I don't know if I can fully recognize how I am feeling at the moment.
"Belle, stop daydreaming," My cousin says, her words coated with a thick Australian accent. She grabs our bags from the bagage claim which i take from her
"It's night. I'm not daydreaming, dumbass" I snicker as a light emotion has now taken over my feelings.
We tell the driver our apartment complex, hoping he can speak English and thankfully he does but with a thick accent.
We begin our drive down the almost empty streets of paris, twists and turns, all the buildings look the same— tall, white, covered in flowers and vines, massive windows and balconies and the light blue roofs that have little sun roofs on them.
When I was little my Nonna would always tell me stories of her time in paris and how one day she would bring me here, just us two and we would explore the streets — running around like kids in a candy store. She said she would visit after we settle in more and I can't wait to see her, she is my everything.
Our taxi stops In front of one of the identical buildings and me and Amelie get out — hauling our bags with us up the stairs to the top floor.
It really is a paris apartment, like those ones you see on Pinterest. It's a decent size, 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, kitchen and living area.
"So who's gonna have the ensuite and bigger room" My cousin questions while looking around and bitting her lip in anticipation.
"You can, I'll take the smaller one" I say to her while trying to move off to the bedroom on the right
Amelie groans and reaches out to grab my arm holding me back and says, "No bitch, you always do this. You get the bigger room." I open my mouth to protest but she gives me her famous no-bullshit look which shuts me up instantly. She learnt it from Nonna.
I sigh and grab my bags heading over to the left side.
It has one of those sitting window seals and I can already imagine everything I can put in here, where I'll put my desk and everything. Im so fucking excited for this.
I slump down on the queen size and sigh dreamily, imagining all the adventures and opportunities that await for me. Main character shit
"Night A!" I call out to my cousin not bothering to move, "Night B!" She calls back and I roll over waiting for the darkness that is sure to come follow.
•••
I hear the glass smash against the walls, and the screams and pleas of my mother begging him to stop the undying abuse he continues to act on. I sit in my room unable to move, my mind is screaming at me to do something but my body doesn't move.
"I'm sorry, it was a mistake!" I hear the desperate pleas of my mamma in Italian , and I hold my hand over my mouth begging for the sobs to stop so I'm not heard.
"You calls this a fucking mistake! Your a lying whore! You never fucking loved me! Is Bella even my kid?" My fathers voice rings out which is accompanied by the smashing of another glass followed by my mammas screams.
The sounds stop and I hesitantly stand up making my way over to the bathroom door, slowly twisting the handle revealing my father standing over my mother's unconscious body, his chest heaving up and down as he has a murderous look on his face. A small gasp leaves my body and I close the door and lock it— scared of what might happen to me
The anxiety in my stomach twirls around In my mind as pictures of my mothers unconscious body pop into my head.
"Oh shit, B! Wake up it's just a nightmare" I hear a faint voice say, it sounds so near yet so far.
"Come out you little shit! Maybe then your mother with realise her mistake" the sick voice of the man who I once called my father, calls out referring to me. He lets out a laugh that is anything but humorous, I stay hidden— not daring to make a sound or even breath.
The door of the bathroom cracks open and I look up to be meet by my fathers dark eyes staring at me before a wicked smile spreads across his lips, making me want to throw up.
"Cmon doll, I just want to talk"
•••
My body jolts awake and I frantically look around trying to determine if I'm okay, trying to make sure that I'm okay. I spot a very worried looking Amelie who instantly draws me into a hug. My clothes are sticking to me thanks to the sweat and tears are running down my face as I cry into her shoulder silently.
She whispers comforting words in my ear while rubbing circles on my back, i feel like a pig "I need a shower" I tell her while peeling myself of her and yanking the covers of my body.
She doesn't protest and let's me get up, i rub the sleep from my eyes as i walk into the empty bathroom turning the lights on, trying to avoid a mirror.
I undress myself slowly with tears still running down my face as I recall my dream, I step into the double head shower and turn on the hot water not bothering with the cold. The warmth scorches my skin but instead of adding some cold water I just stand there taking the pain as it runs down my back making me tense. The water disguises my tears and the sound of it hitting the ground cancels out my soft sobs.
I hate crying. It makes me feel weak and stupid. But tonight I couldn't care less, I don't have the energy for this shit. I simply feel empty. Like the life was drained out of me.
Mentally exhausted.
After a much time long shower I step out, turning the scorching water of and observing my body in the mirror. Several scars lay against my stomach and legs. Some accidental. Some self inflicted.
I cover my self up and walk out to find Amelie gone, she must have gone back to bed. I feel terrible to keep her up, the guilt weighs on my shoulders as i tread lightly over to my overnight bag— the one I had bought on the plane.
I had seen way to many movies where luggage is lost, I wasn't willing to take the chances.
My stomach rumbles as I put on a grey oversized hoodie and my pj shorts, maybe there is a cafe or something nearby that I could walk to. I grab my phone off the kitchen counter and begin searching through my suitcase for some shoes settling on my converse.
I begin my walk down the hallways, the silence is eerie as I make my way down the the concrete staircase towards the ground floor, my foot steps echoing through the space around me.
The streets are dark and the only light source being the street lamps that line in front of the apartments, I've been walking for about 5 minutes down the empty street when a pink neon sign catches my eye, sans cesses.
Endlessly.
In year 9 I had to take French so I would be able to pass that year, so i know a fair bit of French.
My French teacher hated me so much that one time she threw a fucking box of scissors at my head, I don't even know what I did to the old bat. She just fucking hated me. Maybe cause i said something about her outfit or i was talking back, but thats not the point.
But hey, public school, the life.
Teachers don't give a shit, mean girls, smoking behind the science block, hooking up in the disabled toilets. Good fun.
I open the door to the cafe and It's empty except for a guy sitting in the back corner. A lady with a French accent comes up on roller skates and starts talking French.
"Sorry I don't speak much French" I say to her giving a nervous smile while fiddling with my hands and biting my lip, I've noticed its a nervous habit of mine.
"Oh my dear sorry bout that, take out or dine in" she asks me while giving me a warm smile — her french accent still lacing her words as she speaks with the motherly smile. I love people like that. When their happiness just makes you smile.
"Dine in please" I say giving her back the same smile
"Alright my dear, just take a seat and I'll bring around some menus"
I look around and my eyes connect with the boy in the corner, I make my way over to him and sit across from him.
I smile politely.
"Hey, I'm Bella" I say to him and he just looks up from his phone for a few seconds before shaking his head and looking down again, his dark brown unruly curls falling over his forehead.
We are in France he probably just doesn't speak English dumbass
"Shit sorry, I only speak a little bit of french. Uh salut je suis bella?" I say to him while raising an eyebrow in a questioning manor and giving him an unsure smile.
{translate: hey, I'm Bella}
"Can I help you" he says coldly, his eyes still glued onto his phone.
don't be a bitch, bite your tounge
"No, you looked kind of lonely" I say without really thinking, his eyes shoot up from his phone and he looks taken aback and is holding a look of disgust.
he scoffs shaking his head, "and what do you know"
"That your a lonely asshole?' I say giving him an innocent smile that's filled by sarcasm while tilting my head in a mocking manor.
A small smirk graces his lips and his eyes connect with mine. blue. he has blue eyes. possibly the prettiest blue I've ever seen. fuck that sounds cliché but who cares its true.
It's like those eyes have me mesmerised, I can't look away.
We hold eye contact and he opens his mouth to speak but is cut off by the lady on roller skates, I really wanna know her name — "Here you are dear, call me over when your ready to order" she says giving me the same warm smile as before.
damn she really has that down pact.
"Ares"
I look up with confusion written all over my face and give him a wary look, "Ares, my name is Ares" he says to me, looking up through his thick eyelashes and into my eyes.
"Like the Greek god of war" I say to him raising an eyebrow and giving him a small smile and he nods his head, keeping a cold and straight face.
"Your Australian right, your accent is quite prominent" he says and I only now take notice of his British accent, the words roll of his tongue like honey and I swear if I wasn't sitting I would've fainted— it's now my turn to nod my head and before I know it he's standing up and gathering his things, as he walks away he slides me a piece of paper with a number on it and before I can ask he's already out the door, his hair blowing slightly in the wind while the moon reflects on his face. A sharp scar runs across his cheek..
The rest of the night is a blur, I wasn't really hungry after that so I just waved her off but I did get to learn that her name is Coco, and she told me she had 3 kids.
heyy baes💘💘 this is my new book and I'm really excited about it so pls be honest of what you think, I'll try to update lots but pls no pressure.
If you read this book I love you so much and yous have no idea how much you all mean to me<33
Anyway no fake hoes here, honest opinions as always.
2159 words