Aleksander.
Aleksander, to some it might be far too ordinary a name but to Alina it felt right. It chimed true in her heart.
Not like Kirigan.
Kirigan was like one of the coats the orphans would get occasionally in the summer, donated by patrons of the orphanage or some who wished to make connections with the Duke. They were often not as fine as one would expect from the well-to-do. Occasionally there was something nice but it was snatched up by the matron of the orphanage to be made into something else. The other coats and clothes were distributed among the orphans according to age.
Sometimes they'd put on one when the cold winds began to blow to find that their arms got stuck above their head but the coat wouldn't close or allow them to put their hands all the way through the sleeves.
Kirigan was like something well worn, used, ill-fitting but necessary. Alina suspected it was one of his many aliases.
However, Aleksander....she knew that was his real name.
Alina could feel him watching her as she warned the healer, and although she felt it may show too much of herself she couldn’t help her telling him she would protect him. She knew he didn’t need it. He wasn’t the little boy in the memory anymore. He could protect himself, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t tell him she was there for him. It didn’t mean she couldn’t tell him that he was a part of her family, a family that had grown pretty much overnight.
“So you got married without me?” As soon as she was back in the tent she strode back to Mal and Zoya, her hands on her hips.
Zoya merely raised her eyebrow, “Most soulmate bonding rites are private affairs like ours was, only the officiant and the couple. Anything else is just an excuse for a lavish party.”
Alina was very tempted to do a whole ‘woe is me’ dramatics stunt but she was trying to be mature in front of her soulmate so she held back.
“Well, I suppose I can forgive you.”
“The officiant often leaves the couple as soon as the last words are said, it is not unheard of them sealing the bond right then and there.” Zoya grinned as she continued on as if Alina hadn’t spoken. As Alina was about to open her mouth and ask a question, Zoya said bluntly, “Sex Alina they often immediately have sex after the rites are finished. So unless you like watching that sort of thing…”
“No! No!” Alina turned away forgetting that Aleksander was behind her and could see her turning completely red.
Mal chided, “Zoya!”
Zoya lightly smacked him, “She needs to get her reactions under wraps, or else they’ll eat her alive at the Little Palace.”
Alina patted her cheeks trying to reign in her embarrassment. It didn’t help that her soulmate was suppressing chuckles on the other side of the tent. His dark kefta clad shoulders shaking slightly as he “looked over” some paperwork.
She cleared her throat, “Onto the next subject, since I summoned light in the Fold I expect we are all going to the Little Palace now.”
Zoya spoke up, “The drüskelle will expect you to go by carriage. We should go by horseback.”
Mal and Aleksander both let out chuckles at the same time. Her soulmate turned and glanced at Mal, who raised his eyebrow.
“The draft horse?”
Mal nodded.
Alina let out a huff of air, “I am better with horses now. He was ornery, old and…” She flipped her braid over her shoulder, “It doesn’t matter anymore I have gotten practice since my cartography unit had to move around quite a lot over the last couple of years.”
Aleksander gave her a discerning look, but his lips were still angled upwards in mirth.
“We would have to take a quicker pace than your old unit would have moved.”
“I can do it.”
~~~
Several hours of riding and Alina thought, ‘I can’t do it, but I have to.’
The adrenaline from the Fold events, then meeting her soulmate and taking care of her family had all worn off and now she realized her whole body ached. She was exhausted.
“You can rest against me, Alina.”
Then there was Aleksander who insisted it was safer for her to ride with him, despite the fact that in the long run it would be the most uncomfortable for the both of them.
“Alina.”
He got closer, his mouth brushing against the shell of her ear and she sucked in a breath.The back of her neck getting tickled by the bristle of his beard, she could barely suppress the shiver that went down her spine. The pull of their bond got stronger, begging for her to let him touch her more or at least get closer.
“I could help you relax, if you like.”
Alina swallowed thickly as she felt him sit back slightly.
“How?”
“My amplifier quality can detect a person’s Grisha power but it often reassures them.”
Alina bit her lip to stop herself from asking the question at the tip of her tongue but he seemed to sense she had one even without their bond having strengthened to that point yet.
“You have a question Alina?”
She turned her head slightly so that she could connect her left eye with his briefly, “I worry I’ll phrase my question incorrectly and it could offend.”
His arms tightened around her middle, but still didn’t pull her back against his chest allowing her to make that decision.
“Is that ability to protect an amplifier? I suppose what I mean is if someone were not to ask for consent like you did for me…” Alina sighed through her nose and ran her fingers through the horse’s mane in front of her.
He didn’t answer straight away and when he did he let out a breath that sounded like it was long overdue.
“I must confess I may have overused this part of my ability more than I should have in the past. Not necessarily for nefarious purposes, however still like you implied as a shortcut to...control a situation.”
Alina thought about it and she wasn’t surprised considering what she already knew about him. In fact several memories that she’d had in the past that hadn’t made that much sense had pieces click into place now. She knew also that realistically she couldn’t ask her soulmate to never use that ability again or never to use it to ‘control’ a situation once more. She knew he would just not tell her and then do it anyway, most likely under some male justification of ‘knowing better’.
“I think I can understand how you could have been placed in such situations.”
She heard him suck in a breath as if he hadn’t been expecting her to take his confession well. However, she already suspected that he wasn’t sure how much she actually knew about him. They hadn’t had a truly private moment, in a secure location to talk about such things yet. So she hadn’t.
“I only ask one thing: Can you promise to only use that ability on me without consent if you are faced with a life or death situation?”
There was a sound that sounded like it was somewhere between a small huff of laughter and sob. However, when she glanced at him out of the corner of her eye she was relieved to see he wasn’t actually crying. She wasn’t sure what she would have done if that were so.
“I promise to never influence you with my amplified touch without consent, unless in a life or death situation.”
Alina turned with a slight wince as her tailbone protested from the action and whispered, “Thank you.”
Quickly before she lost the nerve she kissed the cheek she could reach before turning back around. Her lips would tingle for many hours following, her heart would pound in excitement but Alina would not regret it.
~~~
When they found a little abandoned korovnik, they set up camp for the night.
Alina walked back and forth, while the others took turns washing at the small stream behind the small barn.
As soon as the others finished she made her way down, wincing as she still walked slightly like a toddler with a waddle to the stream.
Once there she washed the day's journey away from her face, neck and arms.
“How much do you know?”
Alina had just risen after drying off her face. She glanced at Aleksander who gazed at her as if she were a puzzle he yearned to find the pieces for, but seemed to be just out of reach of them.
She glanced up the hill but no one else was nearby, it was just them by the light of the full moon.
“I know I will always be like a child in your eyes. Your years of experience are far more expansive than mine.” She walked closer to him, “I know that you will do anything for your people.” Alina looked up at the night sky and let out a little sigh, “The rest...well...perhaps you could tell me when you are ready and we are in a more private setting.”
She began to walk away but felt as his shadows reached out to her long before a gloved hand grabbed her wrist.
“You are my equal, Alina.”
Alina felt her cheeks flush and her pulse quicken, his voice sending delicious shivers down her spine. She stood straighter, meeting his intense gaze and gave him a smile, “No, not yet; but one day I will be.”
~~~
The next day’s ride she felt more conscious of Alexander's body against her than the other days. His thighs on either side of her brushing against her own.
His lips as they brushed against the back of her neck as he spoke. His deep voice speaking her name like it was something glorious and something beloved.
By half day though, even his nearness couldn’t distract her from her aching muscles. It felt like every part of her body hurt, from her eyelashes to her toenails if that was possible.
"It pains me to see you like this." He spoke up after her whole body jolted and then she involuntarily let out a little yelp of pain when the horse had to jump over a certain part of terrain.
Alina nibbled her bottom lip and couldn’t think of a reason why anymore why she hadn’t wanted to use his amplifier ability to relax her and let her rest. It would be nice to not be in pain.
"If you think it will help."
His mouth was near her ear again as he spoke in an undertone, "I do."
“You may go ahead and try then.”
He hummed slightly underneath his breath and as he pulled back the tip of his nose grazed the back of her neck. Then he was sitting in his original position and taking off one of his black gloves. Only a brief moment she thought she saw a mark on his hand like a scar, like what Zoya had mentioned, before he was placing it upon the back of her neck and a wave of calm spread through her.
She let out a breath she didn’t even know she was holding. She found herself finally relaxing against his chest like he had suggested from the start a small sigh escaping her lips. Her eyes fluttered close as she felt her limbs relax, and she felt as Alexander tightened his arms around her securely.
“That’s it, my Alina. Rest now.”
Right before she drifted off to sleep she felt the briefest touch upon her brow, and a thought flickered through her mind just briefly before she succumbed to the sweet darkness. ‘Did he kiss me?’
~~~
At their next campsite they were able to have a fire, due to a nice outcropping of rock that gave them a secure position.
Staring into the fire Alina couldn't help but speak aloud, "I hope the decoy envoy is alright."
Fedyor spoke up, "They were set upon, but they had strong Grisha with them."
Alina wrinkled her brow, wondering how he could possibly know and his smile twisted into something slightly painful and bittersweet.
"Ivan and I have a brother's bond, well to be more accurate a twin bond." He stared into the flames with a broken look, "Once we were meant to be brother-in-laws to twin Infernis but..." His voice cracked and his face shuttered close, unable to continue.
Aleksander spoke up his voice rough and hard with past pain, "The town the twin girls lived in discovered their abilities and razed their home to the ground. There were no survivors. Somehow even without ever meeting the girls had felt a connection between Ivan and Fedyor, and it was as if their twin bond passed onto the two friends with their death."
Alina quickly wiped the tears that had fallen down her cheeks. She looked across the fire and saw how Zoya’s face was blank but Mal’s face looked like the time Ana Kuya asked him to kill a baby bunny’s mother for food one winter. The matron locked them in the kitchen with the rabbit until one of them killed it, Mal had seemed stuck in one place unable to move, his eyes wide. So Alina did it for him. He found the little ones frozen not long after his face was absolutely devastated, tears falling down his cheeks and sobs threatening to overwhelm him. He never let her kill for him again though. He was older now, he had seen war; but she could still see that little boy sometimes.
Alina turned back to the flames and whispered, "No wonder I haven't ever seen Ivan smile."
Fedyor gave a slight tilt of his lips, "Oh no, he was like that even before. He was teased for his blank face throughout our childhood."
Aleksander leaned toward me, "My memories might not have shown a smile from him since he usually only reserves it for when he's off duty and Ivan rarely is so around me."
Alina nodded before jolting slightly at the sound of something being hit. She looked up in time to see Zoya smack Mal's hand from his side again.
"How many times do I have to tell you not to scratch?"
"It itches!"
Alina giggles, catching Aleksander's eye briefly.
"Mal's always been a big baby when it comes to mild irritants..."
Mal’s head shot up and glared playfully across the fire at her, "What was that Alinochka? Just remember I have every dirty little secret and filthy habit memorized just in case."
Alina blushed, "I do not have any filthy habits, Mal."
Mal opened his mouth to say something more but got distracted when Zoya sat on his lap, grabbed his face and started kissing him.
Alina felt Aleksander lean towards her and whisper in her ear, "You didn't deny the dirty little secrets."
She glanced at him from the corner of her eye and saw how his quartz eyes flashed with something almost dangerous.
"We all have secrets, I wouldn't say mine are dirty though."