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My dream isn't to become the 'best'; it's to be someone who I'm not ashamed to be
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"Listen here...", Jake began, crossing his hands over his legs, leaning forward as he spoke. I also leaned forward, moving off from the wall as I keenly peeled my ears.
"Look I'm not trying to pry into anything here, I'm just looking out for my best friend so hear me out. Sunghoon, he's a soft kid, yeah he looks all tough and confident on the outside but he's a shy, soft kid on the inside. He's way different when you get to know him on a personal..well emotional level and you'll find that out for yourself soon but what I'm trying to say is, he's not what you think he is so please treat him well."
What? Why is he telling me this? 'You'll find that out soon', what does he mean by that??
"Yeah, I know you both are rivals in figure skating but why should that stop you from being friends? I'm not trying to force you into anything here I'm just being...how should I put it? I'm just trying to help. Just try looking past the obvious for once and maybe you'll understand, but I guess it's too early for that since it's just getting started." He said the last line with a chuckle which was followed by a grin.
"I'm so sorry- you're probably confused but just don't tell anyone I told you this, okay?" He explained, brushing off the back of him as he got up from sitting down on the dusty cement wall.
I stared into space as I processed everything that Jake just told me. Why did he tell me this? I don't know but I guess he's not wrong on one thing. There's nothing wrong with being mutual friends with him.
-back to present time-
"You're afraid of rats?" Sunghoon asked in a chuckle, laughing at how I reacted a couple minutes ago.
"What if it bit me and I got some kind of disease?!" I relayed, looking around me at my feet as I walked behind him down the stairs. "Though some of them might look so tiny and cute, who knows what dangerous diseases they carry!" I exclaimed in an uneasy tone still afraid of the rat who was long gone.
Sunghoon just softly groaned, agreeing to the point I just made.
"So, why did you want to meet me here?" I was walking beside him as we made our way towards the stands. After remembering what Jake told me I felt a bit more comfortable with him.
"It's just..." He breathed out, hesitant to continue speaking. Though there was silence between us, it wasn't that awkward anymore. "I thought you might need some practice from me, the true professional at skating." I noticed his tone did a drastic 180 change, now sounding much more in a playful manner than how gentle and tentative it was a moment ago.
"Says the kid who got beaten by me twice." Instead of causing an unnecessary fuss I went along with his playful act. "But sure, why not."
He jolted his head up, looking at me in awe. "Really?" He questioned, insightful, not actually expecting me to agree. I nodded with a smile, getting up from the bench to get my skates that were further up, left on the bench closer to the rink. He disappeared somewhere, coming back with a pair of skates of his own, quickly putting them on.
"Ready Princess?" He asked, outstretching his hand for me to take it but I just shook my head with a pretentious grin, picking myself up with my own arms. "I can help myself, thank you, and what did I tell you about calling me Princess?" I muttered, making my way towards the ice.
"Like I said, it's cute-" he mumbled in a low tone but I still heard it perfectly clear but said nothing in response because I was too shy to respond to that remark. I seriously don't know if he's playing with me or being sincere but then again why would he be sincere to me?
"Anyway, how were you—ah!" I was cut short by the unbalance on my left foot. My ankle cracked sideways making me fumble, falling sideways. Ready to hit the hard cold ground, I had my hands up, preparing for impact when I suddenly heard skates gliding on the ice towards me hastily. Sunghoon's hands snaked around my hips and behind my head, surprisingly holding me up all while trying to keep his own balance steady but unfortunately that attempt wasn't all that successful. His foot slipped, making us both fall to the floor. I had my eyes tightly shut, feeling the pain behind my head not that great due to his hand which braced my head before full impact.
Opening my eyes, I was now staring directly at Sunghoon who was staring back at me. His free hand was beside my head, holding him up inches away from my body while one of his leg was in between mine. God, his piercing gaze was enough to heat my cheeks up as I peered deep into his eyes. My eyes scanned his face, accidentally falling to his lips then quickly looked away. This caused a smirk to appear on those very lips of his, making my heart go crazy. I immediately cleared my throat, turning my face away breaking eye contact with him.
With the sudden change, awkwardness cloaked the atmosphere once more. Sunghoon quickly got up off of me, outstretching his hand for me to take it to help me up. This time I did, I held his hand which was astonishingly soft. Just the sudden contact of our skin made me feel things, things I certainly shouldn't. He pulled me up, holding my shoulders, motioning his head down back to my feet making me look down.
"Oh crap-", I sighed, looking down at my now damaged skates. The upper plastic part that connected the blade to the shoes was now broken. Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap!! My mom's gonna kill me! How do I tell her?! Oh god- we don't even have the spare money right now to buy skates- crap! I'm going to have to save and buy a new pair!
"I'm doomed." I huffed out. I brought my hands up to my face, lightly squeezing my temples as I mourned over the broken skates.
-
I cautiously 'sneaked' into the house, going straight upstairs without accidentally bumping into anyone. I threw my bag on the bed, taking out the broken skates. I felt a single tear rolled down my cheek as I held the skates one last time before stuffing it in a plastic bag then putting it somewhere inside my closet where it was completely hidden.
I had a connection with that pair. I had won both competitions with that exact one and it was known as my lucky charm but nothing ever lasts forever.
"Ji? You back already? Time for dinner." My mom said through the closed door. Hearing her voice made me panic a little. Should I tell her? Will she be mad at me?
"Ma", I called out to her, opening the door before she could leave. When she saw I didn't look all that happy the expression on her face softened.
"What's wrong?" She came forth, holding both of my hands in hers.
"My skates broke..." I said in a low mumble, looking everywhere but her face.
"What? Well don't cry, we'll get you a new one." She said softly, pulling me into a hug.
"But that was my lucky charm.." I sniffled, holding onto her tightly.
"Your lucky charm is your determination. Nothing ever overcomes that so don't beat yourself up over the skates. We'll get you a-"
"You don't have to. I'll buy it myself." I cut her off from finishing. She pulled away, looking down at me with a confused gaze.
"Are you sure? I can buy it for you, you know."
"It's fine, I'll buy it."
I felt my heart clench when I heard her try to convince me to let her buy it even though I knew we were in a bit of a fix at the moment. I couldn't possibly let her do that when I was fully aware of the circumstances we were in.
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Sunghoon's pov
"So tell me, did you ask her?" Jake asked from across the room, drawing closer awaiting for my answer.
"What did she say?" Jay added, crossing his hands over his chest.
"Guys..." I said in a sigh, recalling how I dodged saying what I actually wanted to say.
"I chickened out..." I said in a hushed whisper, burying my face in my hands.
"WHAT? Dude come on!"
"You couldn't even ask her if she wanted to establish a contract of mutual friendship called being friends?" Jake said in disappointment.
I shook my head, despising the way how I chickened out on asking her to be normal friends but end up asking her if she wanted me to coach her instead.
"And I mustered all of that courage to explain that to her for what? Nothing?" I heard Jake say to himself in a whisper.
"What?" I questioned, glancing at him suspiciously.
"Bro, why do you seem like you're in more pain that Sunghoon?" Jay said with a laugh.
What does he mean though? Mustered courage for what?
"Sunghoon, dude, I did not raise you up to be like this." Jake shook his head, retracting back into the sofa while munching on some chips.
"I just wanted to be simple friends with her since all we've been doing is competing with each other ever since for the title of first place." I shrugged, falling back in the chair, throwing my hands up in the air.
"Just friends? As if.."
I didn't quite hear what Jake mouthed to Jay so I just brushed it off, crawling back to my train of thoughts about earlier.
The way her hair was messily but cutely splayed across her face when she was lying on the floor, the way her head fit perfectly in the groves of my hand as I protected it from getting hurt, the way she got flustered when she realized the small distance between us as I hovered over her, the way she clung to me when she was afraid...Oh god Sunghoon what are you even thinking?!
I brushed off the thoughts of Ji-eun that crowded my mind but couldn't help but think about how she looked when she realized her skates were broken..
When mine broke, I cried for 3 days because I loved it so much and it was the one my grandma gave me before she died.
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