Veronica loves Cheryl.
Much to the shock and displeasure of some, Veronica has found a home in Cheryl Blossom. They've found a home in each other; two broken pieces cut from the same cloth and stitched together in a beautiful blend. So, Veronica rebuilds her entire fucked up world in Cheryl's hands. She pushes away her past and starts a new life in Riverdale, builds that life beside Cheryl. They're not perfect by any means, but they're something and Veronica is happy with that. And Cheryl is too. They break down each other's walls and offer light to the dark parts of themselves that go bump in the night. They take those shattered pieces of themselves and slowly glue them back together. It's perfect. They're good, they're solid.
Except they're not.
They slowly begin to chip when the Southside slither their way into the Northside. They begin to crumble when Cheryl finds new friends, smiles for reasons that don't involve Veronica. And eventually, within a few months time, they explode. And the person holding the dynamite is the princess of the Serpents, Toni Topaz. Toni, with her bright smile and wide brown eyes, slowly begins to pry Veronica's fingers open so she can slowly and carefully pluck each piece of Cheryl's heart from her grasp. She takes Cheryl's friendship from her, her smile, her laugh, and everything that makes Veronica's world rotate; and Veronica wants to hate her, but she can't because Toni doesn't even know she's doing it.
On a Friday, after a grueling Vixens practice, Veronica changes in silence as the locker room slowly begins to empty out. She expects Cheryl to approach her and kiss her neck, whisper that they're finally alone. Instead her girlfriend is straddling one of the benches with her phone in her hands and a look of something shining in her eyes. Veronica feels it coming before it happens, she feels the exact moment Cheryl releases her. She tries to steady herself for the inevitable, and Cheryl has an unreadable expression as she stands and slowly approaches her. Veronica drinks her in, takes in the red shine of her lips and how her eyelashes pillow so softly on her cheeks when she looks down. Veronica reaches for Cheryl's hand and squeezes, but her hand stays limp in her grasp and Veronica knows they've reached their end.
"Ronnie..."
"You don't have to say anything, I know." Veronica assures her as she bites her lower lip. "All I want to know is why?"
"It doesn't feel right anymore. We were...it was so good, and you changed so much of my life but I can't do this anymore." Cheryl whispers as she looks down at their hands. "You and I had a good thing, but that's over. I want you to be happy, Ronnie. I just...I can't be the reason for that happiness anymore. I'm sorry."
Veronica holds onto her hand for as long as she can as Cheryl steps towards the door, "Cheryl, wait. Please, don't go..."
Cheryl looks back at her and Veronica sees that the spark she used to put in those dark eyes is gone, all she sees now is pity. Veronica loves her. God she loves Cheryl so much, and nobody should fault her for trying; she wants to have Cheryl for as long as she can. But Cheryl pulls her hand away, and it sorta feels like somehow she is taking that last piece of her heart from Veronica's hands so she can offer it to someone else. And she knows exactly who that someone is. Veronica can only hope and pray that Toni takes care of it, she'll never know and Veronica will never tell, but every time she wraps her arms around Cheryl then she'll be holding her whole world.
"Please don't do this..."
"Goodbye, Ronnie."
And just like that, her life shatters alongside her heart.
-
Three weeks later, Veronica sees Cheryl kiss Toni against the lockers in the hallway; Betty tries to keep her from watching, but it's like a car crash...and she's the unsuspecting victim.
-
Cheryl is so happy, beyond it.
Of course Veronica hears the fine tuned gossip that comes from the corners of the hallway, and she knows the school is still trying to find the suspect who shattered the bathroom mirror. Veronica feels like she's slowly losing her normally level headed attitude; it seems like every rational thought she has goes out the window where Cheryl is concerned. A dull ache throbs evenly in her chest every time she sees them together, every time she is forced to endure the PDA filled show they put on. Sometimes Veronica wonders if that is the reason why Cheryl left her, Veronica really has never been big on public affections yet Cheryl had wanted so badly to shower her in it.
Well, now she gets her wish. Toni never fails to kiss her when they pass each other in the halls. Cheryl wraps her arms around Toni from behind when they're standing in front of their friends lockers and gossiping. Fingers hook possessively in belt loops, fingers twist together, hands glide smoothly over lower backs and tuck into back pockets, soft forehead kisses are given in parting; if they can find a way to touch, no matter how small or worthless, their school has found that they will. She misses that, she wonders if Toni knows what she took from her; she wonders if Toni even cares she destroyed her entire world.
Veronica sometimes lays in bed and wonders how she didn't see this coming. Her and Cheryl? They weren't meant to be. She was just a stepping stone in Cheryl's world, one that brought her closer to Toni. But how is she supposed to forget the moments they shared? The kisses in the rain. The soft whispers of love in her warm bed while snow melted just outside her window. Veronica sighs as she walks through the empty hallways of Riverdale High, but she pauses as she hears a familiar laugh. As she rounds the corner, she is quick to flatten herself back as she makes out the shape of Toni leaned against the wall with Cheryl in front of her.
"I feel terrible..."
"You didn't cheat, Cheryl. You did nothing wrong. You can't help who you fall for." Toni whispers as she sweeps a strand of red from brown eyes. "We don't have to do this, be together. If you want to walk away, I won't try to make you..."
"I'm not going anywhere." Cheryl cuts in, and her tone is so sure and firm. "I want to be with you, TT. I hate that Ronnie got caught up in the middle of this, but you are who I want to be with."
Veronica sucks in a breath of surprise as her eyes flutter close; Cheryl's words hurt, they cut deep enough to make her bleed. The silence stretches on and Veronica peeks around the corner in time to watch as Toni tucks a hand into the front of Cheryl's high waisted jeans before she pulls her forward so their bodies are pressed together. They both look completely at peace; Veronica is both mildly surprised and completely heartbroken.
"So, the dance?" Cheryl whispers.
"I'll be there. You asked me to go." Toni reminds her with a lopsided smile. "I'm more than happy to show off my beautiful arm candy."
Cheryl ducks closer to Toni, "I love you."
Veronica hears it all in her voice; she hears the promise of happily ever after.
"I love you, too."
Veronica abruptly turns around and leaves; she feels as if she has just intruded on something private. Yet she also feels like she just witnessed the beginning of forever between the pair.
-
The Fall Formal is full of students and Veronica hangs back while she sips at spiked punch and tries to pretend she isn't bitter. From where she stands, she has a perfect view of Cheryl in her flowing red gown and her shimmering fiery locks. She looks so beautiful, so much like the girl who taught Veronica that love isn't so scary after all. Cheryl is that same girl, but she doesn't look at Veronica the way she used to. She doesn't reach for her hand when she's scared. She doesn't kiss her against the warm bricks of Thistlehouse. She doesn't love Veronica, not anymore. Not like she loves the tiny Serpent with bright pink highlights.
"You look depressed."
Veronica tenses as Sweet Pea joins her, "I'm not."
"Methinks the lady is lying." Sweet Pea smirks as he watches Toni join Cheryl. "I can see the jealousy written all over your face."
"They look beautiful together." Veronica notes as she sees the way Toni's black dress blends with the red in Cheryl's. "I suppose they were just meant to be together."
"I agree." Sweet Pea hums. "You should be happy for her, for Cheryl. Toni loves the fuck out of her, and she treats her right. Sometimes things just don't work out. And you had to have known a Lodge and Blossom just weren't meant to be, that's like handing a toddler a detonator. Eventually, everything would've blown up."
Veronica smiles bitterly, "You're probably right."
-
Cheryl makes a huge deal out of her own birthday.
Veronica isn't surprised, and she reluctantly tags along with her friends to Cheryl's birthday. She sits around with a warm red cup of beer and a heavy heart, the entire thing makes her sick to her stomach. She doesn't want to be here, she wants to be far away from the sight of Toni toasting Cheryl and looking her like she hung all the stars in the sky. By the time Cheryl is tearing into her presents, Veronica is silently planning her escape. Everyone gives her eccentric, exciting gifts and Veronica merely tightens her grasp on the jewelry box in her pocket; her gift to Cheryl was going to be a promise ring, but now it's a diamond necklace with her birthstone. As soon as everyone has given their gifts, Toni clears her throat and suddenly all of Cheryl's attention is placed completely on her.
"Now, it's time for the most important gift. For my beautiful girl." Toni beams as she offers a small box to Cheryl. "Enjoy."
Cheryl is careful as she slides her fingers under the neatly wrapped gift, "You didn't have to get me anything, TT."
"Oh please, I like my sex life the way it is." Toni scoffs, and Veronica cringes as a quick glance is thrown her way.
"What is this?" Cheryl laughs as she opens the box and stares down into the box. "Uh, babe...were you out of gift ideas? Or are you just that lazy?"
"Cute." Toni chuckles.
Kevin bounces excitedly, "What is it?"
"It's my passport." Cheryl replies as she picks the small booklet up before she frowns as she looks down into the box. "What? No! Baby, you didn't! This had to have cost a fortune, babe. Oh my God!"
Inside the box is plane tickets to England, to a place where she and Cheryl always talked about going. The thought makes her ache so much that she has to settle a hand on her chest in an attempt to calm her heart. Veronica doesn't linger much longer as Cheryl attacks her girlfriend with kisses and bends her backwards against her couch while Kevin throws paper balls at them.
-
Veronica pawns the necklace, much like she did with the promise ring.
-
When Spring Break ends, Cheryl and Toni return from England glowing with happiness. Veronica spends an hour crying in the bathroom when she hears the whispers of the ring on Cheryl's finger. She sees it a few days later when Cheryl is swapping books in her locker. She isn't the only one to notice the ring, but she might be the only one who wishes she was the one who put it there.
-
"I think you got the historian wrong..."
"But I'm almost positive."
"I don't need it to be almost positive, Ethel. I need you to be sure, this project is like ten percent of our final grade." Toni reminds her. "So, go back through and find the right answer."
Veronica slowly lowers her pencil, "I think I have most of the notes about Thomas Jefferson, and then I'll move onto the next section."
"We'll see if Ethel can find the right information about his family." Toni sighs as she skims through her text book. "Y'know, I was hoping we'd get Chuck in our group. At least he looks for answers and..."
"You don't have to do that." Veronica mumbles as she pauses in her writing to look over the top of her thick rimmed glasses.
"Do what?" Toni frowns.
"Make awkward small talk." Veronica replies as she goes back to writing. "Just because I'm Cheryl's ex doesn't mean..."
"You being her ex has nothing to do with any of this. In fact, Cheryl has nothing to do with this." Toni scoffs with a slight look of displeasure. "I just thought maybe we could have a conversation."
"I mean, we can." Veronica shrugs as she turns her head to meet Toni's gaze. "We can talk about why you pursued Cheryl while knowing she was in a committed relationship."
"I didn't..."
"Sure." Veronica scoffs.
"Look, Cheryl and I were inevitable."
Veronica doesn't answer because she knows how right Toni is.
-
Veronica decides to go back to New York.
Cheryl gave her a reason to stay, but Cheryl is long gone. The roots she planted were dug up, that home she was building was torn down piece by piece. She has tried to be happy for Cheryl and Toni, but she can't. Not anymore. So, she decides to be the bigger woman and say goodbye to the couple; mostly she just wants to get one last look at Cheryl, she wants one last look at the woman she still loves. But by the time she reaches Thistlehouse, the couple is fumbling their way out of Cheryl's classic car and Cheryl is already unbuttoning Toni's shirt as they hurry up the stairs. As she stands at the gate, Veronica watches until Cheryl gets the door unlocked and they spill into the house while their laughter spills loudly out onto the street up until the door slams shut.
Veronica walks away from Cheryl Blossom without saying goodbye.