All the things I did just so I could call you mine
It wouldn't stop hurting.
A turbulent storm cutting through her, cascading down with sharp pricks of pain piercing through her every inch of skin to deep within where her heart lays.
The brutal affliction of their breakup had caused a constant deep ache throughout her body, feeling weighted down from the moment she awoke to the moment she closed her eyes.
A lingering lonesomeness attached to her constantly, everything just felt off. Yeonhee didn't realise how much of an impact Mark had on her day to day life, something as simple as a morning text that she always got when he woke up for schedules or the random short calls as she wanted to know what he was up to.
Sat slumped on her living room sofa, she stared at the tv screen which was illuminated with the show she wasn't even interested in playing. The scenes changed yet Yeonhee couldn't focus as they flickered by- a numb feeling creeping up on her.
If Mark was here with her right now, he'd be asking several questions about what was happening and she would lightly kick him with her foot to tell him to be quiet to which he'd gently kick her back- fuelling a challenging look from the girl.
A bittersweet feeling tingled through her, almost as if she could envision the way his contagious laughter filled up the air at her glares which he'd just call cute even if she was trying to come across as angry.
Even though she knew they both weren't going to contact each other, she still checked her phone often and even in the group chats but his interactions were rarely there.
The week had felt as if it had been painfully dragging on as it was taunting her on the fact she was now back in the place where she had never met him but this time it was different.
It wasn't as if she was looking at the boy though the screen as a fan, smiling at the videos she came across of him through promotions and contents being released.
Yeonhee had spent the last few months with him, online, in person too. She could recite the words he'd say whenever she made a joke about him, she could picture where each of his moles where and how she'd be laying there next to him as his eyes were glued on his phone screen.
"You know, if I drew a big curve here like it would look like a smiley face on your neck cuz these would be the eyes." Yeonhee said, her finger tracing along the skin of his neck which made him squirm.
"Dude, that tickles." His nose scrunched up at the feeling.
"That tickles." Yeonhee mocked, earning an offended look from her boyfriend.
"You're so annoying, I don't even sound like that."
"Mhm, sure."
"No need for the attitude Miss Thug- oh yo doesn't this look so cool?" Mark gasped, eyes stuck on his phone screen.
At a glance at the phone, she hummed with a squint of her eyes.
"The fuck is that?"
"I don't know but it looks so satisfying." He commented and she let out a laugh, leaning in closer to him with her eyes gazing up at him.
Just his mere presence warmed her heart, an inexplicable feeling of love surging through her as she just held so much adoration for him.
"You're so cute I just wanna keep you here forever." She gushed lightly as the arm around his torso tightened with her leg thrown over his, earning a look of scepticism from him.
"That sounds slightly alarming."
"Why? I already bolted all the doors and windows shut so you can't escape. You know Y2TRAPPY is out here committing crimes."
Yeonhee smiled up at him in amusement of her own words, eyes crinkling at the edges as he equally looked down at her with the audio from his phone still playing but his attention was on the girl clinging onto him.
"Oh shit, you're a criminal? Yo..."
"I thought you liked bad girls Markie." She raised a brow and he laughed.
"Man, maybe you're a bit too bad you know? I can't keep up with your crimes."
She laughed, the sound filling up the room as her face buried itself into his shoulder before Yeonhee lifted her head up to meet his gaze.
"You know," she began, her cheekbones accentuating as she couldn't stop the smile on her face. "I love how you go along with the stupid things I say."
"Well, I'm pretty sure I'm used to it by now- nothing you really say surprises me at this point."
"Hm really?" She questioned, her head tilted up to maintain the eye contact with him and from this close to him she could see how the lights above them gleamed in his eyes creating sparkles. "What if I say I hate you."
"You literally just said I'm so cute and you want to keep me here forever."
"Shut up," she grumbled. "You're really warm you know?" Yeonhee rested her head on his shoulder as she closed her eyes, Mark's hand going to rest on the arm which was around him.
"Do you like my arm hair?"
"Yeah I do- yooo you know we have a mole in the same place here?" He questioned, finger lingering on the mole on her arm.
"We're twins oh my god- one time this guy was like ew you have hair on your arms that's disgusting so I went home and cried."
"Um...we're dating Yeon I don't think twins is the right word. But what- yo what the hell? I'm pretty sure he has hair on his arms too."
"Literally, hypocrite. Anyways I remember I went home and shaved it off but then when it grew back I walked over to him and I was like 'if you care so much about some hair on my arm you can shave it off for me every week' and then I stuck my middle finger up at him and left."
Mark's laugh vibrated through his body, envisioning the younger her doing so.
"Dude, I hope he felt embarrassed though- how can you tell someone having arm hair is disgusting."
"Honestly rude people. I'm trynna keep my arms warm you get me?"
"Oh for sure, who wants cold arms man?"
A heavy exhale fell from her lips as she hauled herself up to her feet, heading in the direction of the stairs with Milo following following closely behind as she began to get ready for her day.
The words from her friend couldn't help but linger at the back of her head as she mulled over it all.
"Was I too immature and unserious with him?" She mumbled to herself while getting dressed for work. "Did I not seem affectionate?" She halted, turning around to Milo who was curled up on the ground near the box of Mark's stuff.
"Do you think I treat him more like a friend? I don't know how relationships work Milo, did I not...was I not affectionate?" She pondered on it as if the dog would answer.
With a sigh, she shook her head.
"Whatever, I can't do this right now. Come on Yeonhee get it together."
Jeno loves Jisung
Eunhye: you're so annoying Donghyuck
The sun: 🙄 you're so boring
Yeonhee would get it
Where even is she
Mei: I'm not sure I haven't spoken to her
The hulk: has anyone spoken to Mark
The sun: yeah he's with me rn
The sweetest: is he okayyy :(
The sun: well he keeps saying yes
He's probably annoyed I keep asking him 😭
The president: this group chat is so dead
The hater: it is
did you hear SM is having a party 2021 thingy
Idk why they're so extra for no reason
The hulk: is it for the idols and stuff or just the whole company
The president: I think it's the company
The hulk: that's a big party then
The beanstalk: they're booking out a whole big hall place thingy
I think the CEO has an announcement to make
The sun: ooooh announcement
I can't wait for the party though
Finally
The beanstalk: are you excited Yeonhee
I just designed a few clothes I don't think there's any point in me coming
The sun: shut up you're coming
I'll drag you here
I'm busy
The sun: did I ask
You're coming idc
Everyone is coming and if AHEM you both don't I'll genuinely drag you both by the ears and throw you into a room together and lock it
I'm glad that's cleared up 🥰
The sun
I mean it
You are coming
I don't want to
Why because you and Mark broke up and you'll see him there
Yes
Yeonheeee come on
You're going to see Mark anyway you work in the same building
Well I haven't seen him yet and don't want to see him anytime soon
Do you know how quiet Mark is
MARK LEE I swear I haven't heard him laugh in a while and it's DRIVING ME INSANE
Ugh Yeonheeee
Do you hate Mark that much?
I don't hate him Hyuck it's the opposite
Which is why I just can't
If I see him I'll just idk
It's like everything I do and everywhere I go it reminds me of the things I did with him
And if I see him in person I'll genuinely have a break down
:(((((((( I'm sorry
I know I shouldn't be trying to force you guys but it hurts us all too knowing you both are sad
We just want you guys happy again
Do you really not want to see him
I miss him but I can't see him right now
It still hurts to even think about
You know?
I know I know
I'll give you a big hug when I see you
You should still come to the party thing that's coming up, you don't have to talk to him there's a lot of people who are gonna be there anyway
I don't know I'll see how I'm feeling
I'm pretty busy nowadays
The collection drops tomorrow
Oooh collection
I'm gonna buy everything :))))
But I really hope you're okay though
I'm always here if you need anyone
Thank you Hyuck
I'm sure I'll be okay dw
DoYeonhee__'s story
Onyourm__ark posted a story
Walking through the hallways of the building was nerve wracking ever since their break up, she would imagine scenarios of her bumping into Mark and she just hoped it wouldn't happen.
Yeonhee's head was all over the place, thoughts plaguing her mind and her emotions were on the brink of spilling over the floodgates.
She wasn't in the right mind to see him, not until she felt ready to see him again. Though, she wasn't too sure when that would be.
"She's really pretty."
"I wanna know what her lip combo is."
"Her and Mark are actual goals, they're so cute together."
"Right! I saw them together the other week and I need someone who looks at me the way Mark looks at her please."
"She's so lucky."
Ignoring the comments from people as she walked past, Yeonhee reached the second floor via the elevator and bowed respectfully to the people who passed her.
Flicking her hair behind her shoulder out of the way from tickling her exposed skin, Yeonhee reached her room she worked in, unlocking it with her key and entering.
Closing the door behind her, the girl placed her bag down along with her phone as she rounded the table to the big window to which she pulled back the curtains covering it- letting in the stream of afternoon light which created a halo of brightness.
Scrolling through her phone, the girl found her playlists, hovering over their shared one before hesitantly clicking on shuffle- the sound of their most played song cutting through the air.
The air in her throat lessened, feeling suffocating as she immediately changed the playlists and sat back in her chair letting her head fall back as she lightly moved the swivelling chair side to side with her feet on the ground.
After a few moments of just sitting there, the girl forced herself up on her feet over to the filing cabinet which was on the wall opposite the door.
With her back turned from the window looking out into the hallway, she began to rummage through it with the music filling the air.
The sound of faint voices became muffled until it grew clearer but she paid no mind to it, collecting the papers to check over the designs other stylists came up with.
"Hey Mark, do you remember when we met? I remember how awkward you were, it was so fucking cute." Seola giggled at the thought of it, Yeonhee froze.
Yeonhee could hear them walking past her room, hoping Mark wouldn't look into it but of course he did.
He wasn't even listening to what his friend had to say, his eyes falling into the large windowed space which allowed him to look into the room.
She was there.
Though her back was turned, he could see how her hair was straightened down her back effortlessly, cardigan sliding off one of her shoulders revealing the exposed skin.
The heaviness in his chest only intensified, his eyes not leaving her until there was a tug on his arm which caused him to look over at Seola.
"You were about to walk straight into the wall Mark, be careful." She said, dragging him out of the way.
"Yo yo yo, is this THE Mark Lee? Oh damn okay, okay I see you." Yeonhee exclaimed as Mark walked down the hallway to meet up with her. "Oiii looking good sexy. What a pretty sigh damnnn."
"Dude!" He exclaimed with wide eyes, looking around to see if anyone was around him while approaching her as her laughter filled the air.
Just as he was about to turn his head in her direction, Yeonhee's hand clasped over his wrist to pull him towards her- the beat in his heart skipping.
Their bodies were close to each other, his eyes looking down at her.
"You nearly went crashing into the wall you dumb, I don't wanna be taking you to the hospital for breaking your nose."
"Yo, but you're so loud you know?"
"I know." She replied, trying her hardest not to break out into a grin at her double meaning words.
"You- dude...I-" he paused, taking a breath and shaking his head. "You're actually unbelievable you know?" He pointed his finger at her warningly. "One day someone will definitely hear you and think stuff."
Yeonhee furrowed her brows, looking up at him in confusion.
"What, am I not allowed to hype up my boyfriend? Damn, people are so rude nowadays." She tsked. "Fine I'll refrain from complimenting you I guess." She shrugged, turning around to walk towards the elevator.
"...I didn't say that, I just mean like um-"
"I know, I was joking around Markie. Come on, I wanna get some coffee."
"Thought you didn't like coffee."
"I like coffee in drinks like...sweet drinks with some coffee in it."
It had been a couple of hours, Yeonhee had been sat at her desk working without a break as she had a lot to cover.
With a yawn, she rested her hand on the side of her head with her eyes feeling heavy.
She couldn't sleep well at all, constantly feeling lethargic and tired but when it came to sleeping she just couldn't.
Just as she was moving into the next pile of papers, a knock at the door made her head jolt up.
"Come in." She called out, slightly nervous.
The door opened, revealing the grinning boy who peered his head through the door.
"Hey Sasaeng." Donghyuck greeted, walking into the room alone.
"Hey." She greeted as he walked further inside holding up a cup of coffee.
"I come with coffee- you look like you're falling asleep."
"Oh thank you Donghyuck-" she paused when she grasped the cup and looked down into it. It wasn't just coffee by itself, she never drank it alone saying it felt too bitter for her.
Her eyes flickered up the boy who was looking down at the designs on the page.
"Who bought it?" She asked, making the boy purse his lips together.
"Do you not like it? You better drink it or it's a waste of money." He ignored her question, reaching over to ruffle her hair. "I better get going but don't work yourself too hard!" He called out, slipping through the door with a wave.
Yeonhee looked down at the cup, sighing as she leant back in her chair pushing her head into her hands.
You're making this so hard for me
Why are you doing this?
☾
Simp squad
Hyunjae: Yeonhee why didn't you come with usssss
We miss you bro
23:45
Eunhye: it isn't the same without youuuu
Sorry girls I just don't feel like it right now
You guys have fun though
Mei: :( Yeonhee
Do you want us to come hang out with you
Nahh honestly it's okay I'm gonna head to sleep I'm so tired
Hyunjae: are you sure? I can come rn
Stfu man
I'm sure
Hyunjae: I'll be home in a couple hours
And I'll come cuddle u if you're not sleeping
But try to sleep okay?
Okayy
Mei: we love youuuu 💕
Hyunjae: love you bbyyy
Eunhye: Love you Yeonbby ❤️
Love you guyssss
Yeonhee was laying in the warmth of her bed, curled up in the sheets that were pulled to her chin, alone in the apartment aside from her sleeping dog downstairs.
It was now 2am, the girl hadn't been able to sleep she had been tossing and turning all night to the point she wanted to cry.
Sitting up in the bed, she groaned with the palms of her hands pressed to her eyes before leaning over to grab the device on her bedside table.
The bright light of her phone blurred her vision, blinking a few times to adjust.
Hesitancy lingered in her, thumb hovering over the contact name and she shook her head- throwing the phone on the bed and sitting there in silence with an internal debate.
Impulsively, Yeonhee reached out to grab the phone again with her heart thundering in her chest.
M2TRAPPY 😎
Do you have Eddie
I can't find him
Seen
Yeonhee couldn't help but stare down at the screen, lips parting slightly with mix of shock and sadness- throwing her phone blindly away as she fell back with her head on the pillow.
As she stared up at her ceiling, Yeonhee could only think about him. Everything was about him and she hated it.
She hated how much she thought about him, how much she was hurt over him and how much he was probably hurting too.
THE ELITES
Hyunjae: ugh I'm so tired
Yeonhee I'm coming home soon btw
If you're still awake
I'm kinda drunk jsjdkdkd
Wooyung: why are u out at this time
Hyunjae: I was out with the girls hehehehe
Omg I saw so many hot girls
Okay I'll wait for you
I'm still up
Hyunjae: YOU ARENT ASLEEP YET?? Omg
I'm coming to cuddle rn 😤
Wooyung: I want a cuddle too
Hyunjae: sayless babez 😋
Yeonhee's slipper clad feet padded over to her kitchen after just sitting on the sofa, feeling cold so she pulled a hoodie over her body then began pouring herself a glass of water.
The cold cooling liquid down her throat made her feel a little better, beginning to feel run down from her lack of sleep and overworking.
Yeonhee was definitely distracting herself with work that she had been neglecting herself, forgetting to go get something to eat or drink as she stayed cooped up in her room at the company or her bedroom.
She rubbed at her eyes, yawning and raking her fingers through her hair.
The sudden sound of the doorbell ringing cut through the air, causing Yeonhee to flinch.
"That scared me." She whispered, peering over at Milo who was still asleep thank god. Yeonhee sighed with a headache forming, knowing Hyunjae always forgot to take her keys with her or remember the passcode whenever she was drunk.
Reaching the front door, she unlocked it with her hand pulled to open it- letting a flurry of cold air enter.
As she stood at the door, her eyes glanced up but her face displayed obvious shock, eyes inching wider in surprise as her lips parted.
Every single feeling she had been pushing away resurfaced in that instant, surging through her with such force she thought her knees would give away. Her breath hitching at her throat, not expecting this.
Mark was there.
He was there in front of her, stood not too far from her on the other side of the door with his face concealed by a mask and a beanie but she had looked into his eyes too many times to not recognise him.
Her gut churned, feeling sick to her stomach as her throat grew dry and the hand on the door handle tightened until her knuckles were white.
His eyes dropped from her own ones to the familiar grey hoodie she was wearing to which he gulped at, attempting to find his steady voice as she took a small step back.
Glancing over her shoulder, checking if Milo had woken up but relieved he hadn't.
Mark's eyes couldn't leave her face, tracing over the way her eyelashes fluttered as she blinked to the small scar on her jaw from when she was younger to the smooth bridge of her nose.
There was a deafening silence between them, Yeonhee so taken aback she wasn't sure of what to say.
"Um," he began, clearing his throat as he brought his hand up to hold it out. Clasped in his hand was the teddy bear, the one she had asked about. "You were looking for him..." he trailed off quietly, knowing it was late at night.
It felt like her heart was breaking all over again just by seeing him and hearing his voice, this feeling this situation between them felt so wrong. It felt so wrong to not immediately hug him when he came to visit her or ruffle his hair.
Her eyes drew up from the teddy bear and up to Mark who was nervously looking at her, his other hand by his side clutching the material of his sweatpants tightly as he could barely hear his own voice over the beating of his pulse.
The way her eyes looked into his with the clear hurt glistening in them made him want to just hold her tight in his embrace but she looked away from him before she could start becoming emotional.
Her hand reached out, fingers brushing against his cold hand when she took Eddie from him.
"Thanks." She said quietly, clutching the teddy bear in her hands.
What was there to even say more? Yeonhee felt like she was suffocating, drowning in his presence with the overwhelming weight of a painful gut wrenching longing to just hold him.
"...it's late. You should go-" Her quiet, emotion lacking voice was cut off by the sound of the apartment door opening across the hallway.
In alarm, Mark's head snapped up over towards to see a few girls leaving to which he stepped out of view into the doorway of Yeonhee's apartment.
When he did so, their bodies weren't that far apart and the close proximity caused him to catch the scent of her usual perfume- her eyes drifting from his neck where the silver chain disappeared inside his shirt.
He was wearing it
Yeonhee's head tilted up sight trailing further until their eyes met from a vulnerable closeness, his eyes were softened yet held heart clenching look of despair.
"I..." she began, feeling the heat of tears burn behind her eyes and the lump in her throat feeling as if she couldn't breathe.
"Have you...have you been okay?" He asked, knowing full well by the hurt in her eyes she hadn't which made him feel guilty as he looked down at her.
At her question, she felt her bottom lip tremble to which she pushed her lips together but a slight frown appeared. No matter how much she tried to mask her emotions, she couldn't not when he was right here.
He was here, in front of her.
His presence was so close she felt dizzy, everything hitting her so hard she wanted to crumble and cry her heart out.
She took in a shallow breath, feeling her throat closing up struggling to swallow down an erratically beating heart.
"Mark," Yeonhee's voice quiet yet unsteady with emotion spoke out his name, eyes glossy.
"Yeon." He murmured, his chest feeling heavy as his eyes flickered between her own.
Yeonhee closed her eyes, looking down as she swallowed away the urge to cry. She looked back up at him for a split second but couldn't maintain the eye contact because she knew she couldn't hold the emotions back much longer.
She shook her head, her slipper clad feet stepping back with a distance between them.
"I just...I-I can't right now." She breathed out, biting down on her bottom lip so hard to stop herself from breaking down.
His crestfallen eyes flickered between her own, slowly nodding in understanding as he stepped out of the doorway to outside her apartment.
"I..." he hesitated, glancing back at her. "I'm sorry...for hurting you."
Mark opened his mouth to say more but he stopped himself, shaking his head slightly as he was unable to look at her again with the hellish pained feeling striking at him.
He walked away, his figure leaving her sight as his teeth gritted and fists clenched with the burdensome prickling at his eyes causing him to harshly wipe the stray tears with the back of his hand.
Forcing himself not to cry, he tilted his head back as it made contact with the wall of the elevator, blinking back the hot tears.
"Fuck," he hissed to himself, seeing her stood there in his hoodie with the clear pain in her eyes felt like the claws of guilt was piercing into his heart mercilessly.
He had really lost the girl he loved and it was all his fault.
Nooooooo💔
Come on YM2TRAPPY whats going on man