Victoria
Good fucking grief.
Banana is here again. As usual na nanggugulo sa buhay nang may buhay. Sumama dito kahit wala akong sinasabi at basta ini-invite ang sarili na lagi namang niyang ginagawa.
And now she's with Ashlyn.
Busy for teaching my daughter with her assignment. I should be the one who is doing that not her. Pero matigas talaga ang ulo ng batang 'to. She willingly helps Ash with everything she needs to learn.
And me? Again, watching the two of them. Hindi ko talaga maintindihan until now ang bond na meron silang dalawa. Wala akong magawa kung hindi ang manood na lang sa kanila.
Hindi rin naman sila mapaghiwalay. Paano na lang pag nawala ang batang ito? Hahanapin siya ng anak ko and I can't afford to see my daughter be sad again because of her.
"Mommy, come here!" I raised my eyebrows when Ash excitedly called me. Himala na pinansin ako nito. "Look at this Mommy!"
I sat at her side and look what she was doing and what she wants me to see. A paper.
"Look, Mom! Mama draw you!" I took the paper she gave me and yes, Banana drew me. My face in a fierce one while standing in front of my class. I can't believe she can draw like this.
She draws me huh? What's the point in doing this? But I'll be honest this time.
I appreciated.
"It's beautiful," I commented. I can't be mad or act irritated in front of my daughter and seriously hindi rin naman nakakagalit itong ginawa niyang pag draw sa akin. And then, Banana knows how to draw pala. Magaling naman siya. It is worth appreciating her work. "I didn't know na may nagagawa ka rin palang maayos."
"Nakakasakit ka na ng damdamin Irog a. Tsaka maganda 'yan kasi maganda rin ang iginuhit ko kaya talagang maganda 'yan. Bonggang ganda pa nga." My face heats up when she proudly said that and released a charming smile.
Nag uumpisa na naman siya sa mga kalokohan niya at sa mga salitang hindi ko alam kung saan niya napupulot. Saan ba galing ang isang ito at naligaw sa University namin?
Noong kasing sinundo ko si Ashlyn sa Elementary building kanina ay nakita ko na siya with my daughter. Nagkakatuwaan at naglalaro. Hindi ko alam na pupuntahan pala niya doon ang anak ko.
Wala akong nagawa to let her come with us dahil gaya ng sabi ko kanina ay self-invite ang ginawa niya.
And actually, request na rin ni Ash when I'm about to scold that kid.
How to say no sometimes? But I am talking about Ashlyn's happiness and saying no to her is not on my list.
And seriously, I should be busy at work right now. Pero ang dalawa ang binabantayan ko.
"I'm always beautiful." I rebutted in a duh tone. I'm beautiful, but not beautiful as Alicia. But I want to be confident on my own.
Dahil una, I can't believe that I am comparing myself to a Santillan and a girl named Alexandria that I never met. Who's Alexandria anyway?
Why am I comparing myself to a girl that I never met ba? That's painfully insane. Parang ang tanga ko sa bagay na 'yon.
Tsaka malala atang ikompara ang sarili sa iba. People are different from each other and no need to compare. Masyado akong nagiging insecure which is not a good idea. Baka kung saan pa mapunta ang ganitong thinking ko at kung anong isipin ng bata dito at sabihing nagseselos ako.
Even if I am not. Assuming kasi siya.
"Of course. You always do. You're always beautiful." I didn't know how to react to that.
Bakit kailangan kasi niyang mag English? Makata siya at hindi ganiyan. Hindi nakakasanay.
"Stop that, Banana." That's all that I can say.
After all, I don't care. Bakit kasi ako nagco-comment minsan kahit hindi naman dapat. P'wede rin naman akong tumahimik na lang.
"Stop what? Complementing you?" When does she stop this?
I look away and act like I didn't hear her. I check my daughter's assignment na lang kesa pansinin pa siya. Ashlyn is busy coloring her SpongeBob SquarePants book na rin. It's her favorite cartoon. All of her assignments are great in some way as well.
Tapos na rin pala silang lahat kaya siguro siya abala sa coloring book niya. She didn't even ask for my help and depended on Banana only ha.
Ah, I can say na may alam naman ang Crescencio na ito. Hindi naman siguro lahat ay kalokohan ang laman ng utak niya.
Natigil ako sa ginagawang pag check ng mga assignment ni Ash when I heard a phone ring.
That isn't mine. Wala naman ang phone ko dito dahil nasa itaas. For sure ay sa kasama namin ang tawag na 'yon.
"Mama, your phone is ringing." I look at Banana. Para itong walang narinig. "Mama?"
At talagang hindi niya ito pinansin o busy lang siya sa ginagawa niya?
"Stupid, Kid. Your phone is ringing."
"Kid?" At doon lang talaga siya napalingon. Her eyebrows raised confusedly like a really stupid one. "Tinawag mo na naman akong Kid?"
I rolled my eyes. Imbes na 'yong phone niya ang pansinin niya ay iyong tinawag ko pa talaga. What hard-headed.
"Aren't you gonna answer your phone?" Napatingin ito sa bulsa niya.
"Oh." I just stare at her while she gets her phone in her pocket. Her black thin metal phone is weird. There's a 'Crescencio' at the back of her phone.
Mukhang pasadya naman ang pagkakalagay doon.
I thought magpapaalam ang batang ito na umalis to answer her phone but no. Nasaan ba ang manners ng isang 'to?
Kasi imbes na magpaalam siya para sagutin ang tawag ay hindi niya ginawa. She just answers her phone at nilapag sa mesa ng walang pagdadalawang isip and I think naka loudspeaker pa nga.
Oh, Good grief. Is this not privacy for her to do that?
["Banana?"] That's Ali's voice I think. A cold voice like ice that seems not interested. Besides that, I saw the name Santillan on Banana's front phone e. [I'm about to end the call. I thought you're not gonna answer it."]
Paano ang bagal niyang sagutin.
Banana is busy with her pen na dapat ay kausap ang tumawag sa kaniya. If Ali's voice seems not interested, well Banana looks not interested as well. Nagd-draw na naman kasi siya at dito nakatuon ang atensyon niya and this time it's Ashlyn.
Si Ashlyn naman ang dino-drawing niya. What a talent.
"Hey, Ali." I rolled my eyes because I cannot help it. She can talk to Ali outside naman. Or umalis na lang kaya kami ni Ash to let her talk to Ali privately? Kami na ng anak ko ang mag adjust para sa kaniya? "Makakapunta ba tayo o hindi ulit tuloy? Let me know."
I stare at her. May pupuntahan pala ata siya. Gano'n ba ang pagkakaintindi ko? And then why she's here?
["That's the reason why I called. We can't go to her condo for now. Her friends visit her, nauna sila e. Elliot called to inform me about it and tomorrow daw Alex will go to Ate Sherez Mansion."]
I saw Banana pouted. Nah, she's not cute though. Like, why would I say that she's cute? Ah, no way.
"Kailan ba natin makakasama 'yang si Alex? Pinagpalit na ba niya tayo sa mga lampang 'yon? Okyupado ang lahat ng oras niya."
I heard a laugh in the background but I am sure, it was not Ali anymore. Looks like Ali is not the type who will just laugh easily.
Mukha na rin akong tsismosa ngayon dahil sa babaeng 'to. Kahit siguro pigilan kong hindi makinig ay maririnig ko pa rin dahil nakaloudspeaker nga ito.
Wala na lang akong nagawa but to sigh. Should I cover my ears?
I decided na lapitan si Ashlyn and murmur into her ears. Tumayo siya at tumayo na rin ako. We are about to go when I felt a tug in my shirt.
Nagtataka akong nilingon ito and saw Banana's hand tugging my shirt and signal me not to go. I glared at her kasi parang napaka-disrespectful na may kausap siya and nando'n ako nakikinig.
Ilang beses niyang ginawa iyon. Nakita ko rin si Ashlyn na nilingon si Banana before ulit ito naupo at nagsimulang mag color sa coloring book niya.
Sighing irritatedly, naupo na lang ako ulit sa tabi ng anak ko.
Lagi na lang ba akong walang magagawa dahil sa batang ito?
["Hey, Banana."] That's voice is now different and not familiar as well. [Nasaan ka ngayon?"]
"Oh, Patrice." Patrice. Ibang pangalan na naman. "Nariyan ka rin pala."
["Of course, ikaw lang naman ang wala dito e. Tinatanong ko rin kung nasaan ka. Also, I just want to say that after Sports Day, makakasama ulit natin siya. But anyway, medyo lampa ang mga kaibigan niya, yes but they are still her friends. Tayo naman ang original, and Alex is still Alex na hindi naman makakalimot."]
Kung makalampa naman kasi ang Banana na ito.
"Sabagay Patrice, tsaka minomonitor daw niya tayo sabi Elliot. Tinawagan ko ang gunggong kanina e. Pero paano mo naman nasabi na pagkatapos ng Sports Day? May mangyayari ba? Manghuhula ka na?"
Good grief. Her choice of words are so shocking sometimes. Gunggong? What's that?
Bakit ba kasi ako nakikinig? P'wede ko naman balewalain ito.
I saw Banana observes her draw and looks at Ashlyn before erasing the eyebrow and making it thicker. How can she focus just like that?
["Hula ko lang. Malapit na rin kasi ang birthday ni Ate Sherez. Ah, basta maniwala ka na lang."]
"Paano kung ayoko?"
["Then I don't care Crescencio. Oo nga pala, ubos na ba ang bigay kong dalawang kaha last week? Kailangan mo na ba ng stock?"] Kaha ng ano?
I remember the black box na hawak ni Banana inside my class last time. Hula ng mga ibang estudyante ay sigarilyo ito. It doesn't look like cigarettes but I need to make sure that it is not. Dapat nga pinilit kong tignan ang laman ng hawak niya but instead pinalapit ko pa ang isa sa estudyante ko para amuyin lang siya.
Hindi naman daw siya amoy cigarettes. If you look at Banana hindi halatang naninigarilyo ito. Mukha lang siyang mayabang pero mukha namang may konting tino pa ito.
"Oo e, last na 'yong ginagamit ko ngayon. Punta ako sa inyo bukas. Kailangan ko na din talaga ng stock."
I think, nawala ako sa convo nila. Gano'n kasi sila kabilis magbago ng topic in which sila lang din ang makakaintindi. Sasakit lang ang ulo ko pag pipilitin ko ang sariling intindihin ang pinag uusapan nila na hindi ko dapat pinapakialamanan at iniintindi pa.
["Bukas pa? Hindi ka pupunta ngayon?"] Another voice was heard. I think that's Amanda. I remember her voice anyway. [Nasaang lupalop ka ba ngayon?"]
I decided to focus on myself and kiss my daughter's head as she looks up at me before kissing my lips. Bata pa lang si Ashlyn nasanay na siya at ako when she's kissing my lips.
I'm shocked when she kisses Banana's lips too after she kissed me. What the hell is that? It is like an indirect kiss.
Pero ang mas nakakagulat ay si Banana that winked at me before she kissed my daughter's forehead too. She's always sweet when it comes to my daughter.
Is she using my daughter to get me?
"Bukas na lang Amanda. Kasama ko pa ang mag ina ko e." I hissed at her ng sumagot ito sa kausap.
She really has the guts and confidence level.
But I can't deny how sincere her smile was while saying that. So sincere that makes my heart pound and makes me confused at the same time.
Kasi bakit may gano'ng pakiramdam?
["Oo na lang, nariyan ka na naman pala. Pakasaya ka na lang dahil sa susunod babastedin ka na niyan. Wala kang karisma pagdating kay Miss Victoria."] I chuckled mentally and secretly agreed with that. She's just stating the truth e.
"Hindi naman ako papayag e." She answered pouting. And of course, papatalo ba ang batang 'to?
Looks like she will do what she really wants ha. What a spoiled brat at makapal ang mukha.
["Sabihin mo muna kasi sa kaniya kung sino ka talaga?"]
"Ako pa rin naman si Banana, isang estudyante—"
["Who Banana Crescencio is. That's what I mean. What do you do? What are you in the family? Malinis ba ang kamay mo—"]
"Bukas na tayo mag usap. Bye." Nagulat ako when Banana ended the call instantly without waiting the other line na matapos ang sasabihin.
No manners talaga.
Hindi ko inaasahan na papatayin niya ang tawag ng gano'n na lang. Dahil una ay buong atensyon ko ay nasa kabilang linya at sa sinasabi na nito. Pero ang mas nagpalito sa akin ay ang kung malinis ba ang kamay niya? What the fuck does she mean by that?
I don't even understand why she's avoiding the topic of herself. Well, iniiwasan nga ba talaga niya? Ano bang meron sa isang Banana Crescencio that makes her afraid to tell me the truth?
Is she really that afraid or she just doesn't wanna talk about her freaking herself?
I don't really get her now.
"Mama, aalis ka na ba?" Nilagay ni Banana ang palad sa ibabaw ng ulo ni Ashlyn at ngumiti dito. Why is she so different when it's come to Ash?
"Hindi, Ash."
"Dito ka po ba matutulog?" And of course, she nodded. Ginagawa niyang bahay ang bahay namin. "Really?"
Gladly, Mom and Dad are not here. They attend a meeting outside the country. Kasi panigurado kung nandito sila ay uunahan ulit akong pumayag pagdating sa batang 'to.
"Syempre naman!"
"Tabi tayo Mama!" Here we go again.
"Bakit hindi?" And she looks at me. "Mahal, dito ako matutulog ha?" I rolled my eyes at her but she smiles at me sweetly.
Parang hindi nagpapaalam e dahil kung tutuusin nagdesisyon na siya bago sabihin sa akin. What a headache she is.
"Mommy, 'di ba she can sleep here again? Tabi siya ulit sa atin ha. In my room!" Hindi pa man din ako nakakasagot at pumapayag o humihindi ay gano'n na ang sinasabi ng anak ko. Who am I to be a hindrance to my daughter's happiness?
Mula ng makilala niya ang Mama Banana niya, she became more lively and happy. She looks contented while looking at me with Banana. I think Banana got my daughter's heart.
I'm afraid that there's a chance she can get my heart too. My daughter is my life. Wala talaga akong balak mag asawa o mag magmahal 'cause I know that no man will accept a woman with a daughter already.
Yet, here's Banana sitting happily while laughing with my daughter. Her eyes scream sincerely. But her personality screams danger dahil hindi ko pa siya kilala well yeah, aside from her name.
I may be straight but I'm too afraid to get involved with a woman who is not yet ready to introduce herself and just playing around. I can sense it... she can't trust me with her secret or with her true identity. How can I trust her likes for me if she's always like that? And hindi ako p'wedeng maniwala na lang basta. Dahil baka wala lang itong magawa kung hindi ang maglaro.
Just kike what I said last time. I want to see kung hanggang kailan ang laro niyang ito.
Avoiding the truth about her, about her name. Everything about her makes me clueless. Para pa rin siyang stranger sa tingin ko dahil pangalan lang niya ang alam ko.
She's always a stranger.
She acts weirdly and acts like she's playing. She looks tough and mukhang walang kinakatakutan like a spoiled brat. Something weird for me. She doesn't care at all. Kahit magalit ako o ano. She doesn't care.
She's funny, maloko, and seems like maraming alam. She doesn't care about her surrounding as well.
I'm not yet sure about her agenda with me and my daughter. If she's playing or what.
I nodded to Ashlyn ng wala na namang nagagawa gaya ng dati. She beamed and smile with Banana.
They laugh and smile at each other, like a true family. Like they are connected.
I... don't want this.
"What are you thinking?" I look away when Banana suddenly stares at me. I sighed heavily.
Why would I tell her what I'm thinking?
"Nothing."
"You look bothered and hot." I glared at her. What the heck does she mean by that? "Are you thinking about me? Sleeping naked?" She winked and bite her lips.
Is she flirting at me or nang aasar lang? If I saw her naked them damn her. Ibabato ko lahat ng mahahawakan ko sa kaniya.
"Stupid. What are you saying? I'm not thinking about you being naked." I answered monotone. "You're just assuming."
She just giggles and whispers something in my daughter's ears. I just watch them confused when Ashlyn smiles at me and stands to kiss my forehead.
My daughter is sweet and cute.
"I love you, Mommy." I feel my heart melt because of that. Minsan ko lang marinig sa kaniya 'yan but I'm still melting.
I hugged her tight and look at Banana who was watching us. She smiled genuinely, that's a first. Her smile makes me think that my daughter— no. That smile makes me think that we are safe with her.
"I love you too, Baby."
I facepalm when Banana's cheeks got red. Wait, I just said I love you too Ashlyn. Good grief, Victoria! You say it while staring into Banana's eyes.
Uh! Baka kung ano na namang isipin ng pervert na 'to!