TW: RAPE, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
NAOMI COLE—SEPTEMBER
MY SOBS RACKED THROUGH my body, the only sound filling our room being my crying as Dante soothingly ran his hand down my back. Something about relaying such an intense and troubling aspect of my past seemed to have broken me like a dam, my pent up emotions rushing out uncontrollably.
"I...I'm sorry," I managed out, lifting my head and ferociously wiping away at my tears.
"Why are you apologizing, sweetheart? Let it all out," he responded softly, giving the slightest bit of a smile. "And if you want...you can talk to me about it."
Other than law enforcement, family, Veronica, and a therapist, I had never spoken to anyone about this—especially not a romantic partner. My therapist had walked me through how to have this discussion numerous times, yet now that I was in this situation all that coaching had dispersed and I wanted to rush to my phone and call her.
After a few more minutes of calming myself down, I finally pulled away from Dante and sat up on the bed, gazing down at him. The look of pure anguish on his face sent a pang to my heart, letting me know that he truly felt pained by what I had told him. There was no pity, no confusion—just understanding.
I knew that telling him the full story would be one of the hardest things I could ever do; reliving all of those memories and having to worry about how this would change our relationship. I could only hope that this didn't make him suddenly become so much more cautious and careful around me—I was still the same Naomi despite his new knowledge about me.
With a deep sigh, I began with, "We met during a lecture in my freshman year and instantly hit it off. He took me on a few dates...and we started dating shortly after. At first, everything was perfect...but then he started getting angry when I would spend a bunch of time with my friends or go out without telling him where I was. One night...we got in this argument and he...he...," I paused, struggling to continue as the memory came crashing back, putting me right back in his dorm room when it happened.
"He slapped me. And when I fought back it only got worse, just for him to turn around and tell me how sorry he was and how much he loved me. And I believed him. Before junior year, we got an apartment together and that made it worse too. He wanted me to be the perfect girl for him; help him with his work, cook for him, clean for him, never go anywhere without him. And that's not me."
As I spoke, Dante listened to me intently, staying quiet and letting me just speak although his anger was radiating off him in waves and his body was incredibly tense. I didn't want to be having this conversation right now—and I sure he didn't either—but in a bittersweet way I felt that this would give him a better understanding of my position in this relationship. He would have clarity as to why I had been so upset about his criticism of the proposal and why I had cried after our first time. He would now know how to navigate times when it was on my mind and troubling me.
"One morning I didn't wake him up for work and he was beyond furious. But he was already late and I knew that he would take that anger out on me when he got home. When he did get home...he yelled and I argued back and then he...he slapped me just to apologize and beg for my forgiveness minutes later until he had me up against the wall and..."
At this point, I trailed off, the lump in my throat preventing me from continuing. I was sure he could infer what happened next, but I couldn't bring myself to repeat it. When he wrapped his arms around me yet again, pressing a kiss to my forehead I knew he understood and wouldn't press me any farther for information.
"It infuriates me that you had to go through that. No one should treat anyone—especially someone like you in that way. I know I can never say how sorry I am enough to take away the memories and the pain, but know that you can always feel comfortable to talk to me about it if you need to," he spoke softly, pushing a few braids out of my face as he gazed down at me. "But can I ask you a question?"
When I nodded, he proceeded with, "Does me being rough ever bring back those memories for you? Ever bother you?"
As soon as the words left his mouth, I was shaking my head and preparing my response. "No...or at least not often. Dante, I ask you to be that way and we agreed on it. The first time, I was reminded, but I don't think it's avoidable at this point. I've come to realize that it will always have a place in my life and I can't change that."
"I wish it didn't have to be that way. I wish you didn't have to suffer that way because of him," he practically snapped, his anger taking me by shock because he hadn't even known Jonathan. I'm sure that if he had however, he would hate the guy.
"I wish that every day too. But there's nothing I can do now, but focus on healing myself."
He nodded at my words, pulling back for a second and biting down on his bottom lip, which let me know that there was something on his mind and he was contemplating on whether to say it or not.
"Did he get charged for what he did to you?" Dante finally asked—quite cautiously at that.
"Yes. But...his family's very wealthy and very well known so he got off pretty easily. They offered my family money to keep it quiet, but we went with the other route of convicting him. Even if it only resulted in him getting probation, it was more than nothing."
He nodded, clearly not satisfied with my response. I always knew that there was the possibility of Jonathan popping back up in my life randomly at some point, and him being locked away would definitely eliminate that for some time. Now that Dante seemingly had to worry about that just by being associated with me almost had me feeling sick to my stomach yet again. What if something happened to him because of my baggage?
"I think I'm gonna be sick again," I muttered, jumping up from the bed and rushing back to the bathroom to empty the contents of my stomach—practically nothing. I had never had such a visceral reaction to the dream, but this time it went farther than usual. I remembered more than usual since much of it was such a blur from the way my mind had protected me and blacked it out.
Dante was back by my side in mere seconds, holding up my hair for me and massaging my shoulders until I was calmed down and no longer feeling sick. However, I felt absolutely drained by it all and after brushing my teeth yet again, we were tucked under the covers ready to put an end to the night.
"Are you still up to see the town tomorrow and go to that sort of touristy club you were hoping for?"
"Duh," I laughed sleepily, opening my eyes to see that he was already gazing at me with his chestnut hued eyes. "I'm not going to let it ruin this trip for us."
He gave me the slightest bit of a smile before turning off the light, the room going completely dark. Although I thought I would be able to fall asleep quite easily, being in the pitch black room only made my mind race with those memories yet again.
For minutes on end, I tried to calm myself down and get over it, only to fail. Finally, I mustered up enough courage to move over closer to Dante until I was pressed against his warm body.
"You okay?" He questioned drowsily, already on the verge of sleep—which had me jealous of him.
Now that I was in this situation, I was frozen and unsure of how to respond. There was no way I would come right out and ask Dante to cuddle with me when he had told me just days ago that he found it so much harder to share affection than I did.
And he took me by complete surprise when he engulfed me into his embrace, pulling me flush against his chest. Being completely surrounded by him almost immediately put me at ease—it made me feel safe.
***
I WOKE UP THE next morning to the sound of shuffling around the room and the lost feeling of Dante's arms wrapped around me. Lifting my head, I saw him standing in front of the dresser pulling a shirt over his head although the sun was just barely beginning to rise.
"Where are you going?" I croaked out, feeling a bit bad when he jumped in surprise at the sound of my voice.
He muttered in response, "Just for a run. I won't be long. Go back to sleep, Naomi."
With that, he left the room and left me completely confused as to why he had given me such a cold response. Of course, I couldn't help but to think that it must have been caused by last night's conversation. And there was no way I was going back to sleep.
In the kitchen, I began making enough coffee for myself and everyone else, gazing out of the window that gave a direct view of that beautiful town, still sleeping. Beyond that was the Mediterranean where the sun was peeking over the horizon, ready to greet all.
"You're up early for like the first time ever," Lauren remarked as she too walked into the kitchen, rubbing her eyes. "Do I smell coffee?"
"Yes. And I've woken up this early before," I retorted with a pout as she sent me her bright smile and came over beside me with a mug in her hand. "And can I just say...you and Khalil are quite loud."
The look of pure shock on her face had a sly smirk covering mine. And then her look of pure humiliation had me doubling over in laughter.
"I can't believe you heard that!" She shouted incredulously, bring her hands up to her mouth and covering it. "That is so embarrassing...but girl you would understand if you were in that room."
Now it was my turn for the exaggerated expressions, my face scrunching up in disgust at her words. "Ugh, I do not want to think about that."
We then made our way over to the dining room table, silence between us that immediately had me thinking back to Dante's icy exit this morning. Could it be possible that just hours ago he was comforting me and assuring he would be there if need be, yet was now completely backtracking? Maybe he had thought it over last night in bed and was now doubting that this could work between us.
"What's bothering you, Omi?"
I bit down on my bottom lip, wondering how I could possibly explain this to her without having to go into depth about our conversation. Finally, I settled on replying with, "We've just been having conversations about the things we find to be...I guess annoying about each other and I told him that he could be very dismissive. And this morning he was being that way before he went on a run."
One of the main qualities I appreciated about Lauren was the fact that she listened to me intently and took her time to respond intelligently. I watched as she drank in what I had relayed to her, conjuring up her response.
"If he's actively trying to work on it, Naomi, it's going to take time for him to ease out of it. But maybe his whole purpose of the run this morning was to get himself energized...maybe he just wakes up on the wrong side of the bed."
Her words struck a cord of recognition in me; I had never really woken up with Dante many mornings and maybe that's just how he always was. I mean, the first time I had noticed his dismissiveness was a morning I had woken up in his place.
"I think you're right, Lauren. You give the best advice and thank you so much."
"Girl, you know it's my specialty and I'm about to give you more," she replied confidently and ominously. "I was able to get Khalil to tell me about what Dante might want for his birthday—for gifts and celebration—and he told me that the guy isn't really big on his birthday."
Admittedly, hearing that was a bit of a relief. I was never one to place too much importance on my birthday and hearing that Dante was the same way—as I expected—was a breath of fresh air.
"So what are you planning on doing?"
"Maybe getting him a cake, some food and we celebrate here? I mean, thirty-nine isn't forty."
I practically cringed at my words, the realization setting in that he would be in a whole new decade of his life next year while I would simply be twenty-five. While it was easy to get caught up in our growing relationship, there were definitely times where I was reminded of the age gap and brought back to reality.
If Dante and I did get serious, how would my parents and family react?
"That sounds perfect, but what about a gift? What are you going to get him?"
"What do you buy a rich white man?" I questioned Lauren as I got up and poured more coffee for the two of us, watching as she rolled her eyes at my response. "I'm being completely serious."
"Give him something heartfelt. Make him something homemade or maybe when you go out to the city today you can find him something in one of the shops," she suggested, just as the front door opened and I caught a peek of Dante.
He walked into the dining room and all of that animosity I had felt for him just minutes ago dissipated. His hair was damp from the light rain outside, droplets falling down onto his face and the tight shirt he was wearing that clung to each and every muscle on his body. Dante wasn't buff my any means, he was on the leaner side—just how I liked him—but I could appreciate the bulking up that he was doing. In his hand was a brown paper bag and when he dropped it on the dining room table, he glanced at me with a bright expression.
"I got us breakfast."
"You ran all the way to town and back?" I inquired as I made my way back to the table, not hesitating to open the bag and take a look for myself.
"Yeah. There's this one café here that I love and I wanted you to try their stuff," he replied cheerfully, reaching into the bag and passing croissants to both Lauren and I.
As he continued pulling stuff out and lying it on the table, Lauren gave me a look that my mother had given me millions of times. With her eyebrows raised and her head shaking, I knew she was telling me I had overreacted—and I had.
Maybe I was too hard on Dante when he was truly trying to open up to me more. Maybe I was the problem in this growing relationship and needed to just ease up more.
***
I LET OUT A frustrated groan as my search for the matching top to the skirt in my hands produced nothing. I was positive that I had packed the full outfit, yet here I was going through each and every drawer for the millionth time searching for it. If I had to see the box of condoms Dante had slipped into the top drawer one more time, I would probably go berserk.
"Aha," I whispered once I found it, making my way over to the full length mirror and pulling the outfit on.
It was incredibly revealing, showing off not only my thick thighs, but also much of my cleavage and belly. I was more than glad that Dante wasn't some raging sexist who would chastise me for wearing something like this—he would enjoy it.
Dante was in the shower as I got dressed, and while I was doing my makeup and accessorizing, his phone began to ring on the bed. I ignored it, electing to just let him know when he got out of the bathroom, but when it rang yet again I figured that it may have been important. I knew that none of the people we worked with would be calling his personal phone, so I answered without much hesitation.
"Hello?"
"Hello?" A woman replied back in much confusion, her voice laced with some sort of accent. "I'm looking for Dante, but I must have the wrong number somehow."
"No! You don't...this is just his...friend Naomi," I replied, cringing at how unbelievable I sounded. I was not a competent actress. "May I ask who this is?"
"His mother."
At those words, I practically froze, my eyes widened in shock at the fact that I was on the phone with his mother. I was regretting ever picking up the phone at this point while simultaneously wondering why his mother's number wasn't saved in his phone. Maybe she changed it recently.
"Oh um...he's in the restroom currently, but I'll tell him to call you when he gets out!"
"Thank you...Naomi you said it was?" She questioned, only for me to confirm before she hung up.
Now, I not only regretted picking up, but also giving her my name. I absolutely had to tell Dante about the phone call because when he called back and she referred to me, I would be in deep shit. It would be better for me to be honest.
I continued getting ready although admittedly, my hands were shaking the entire time and I couldn't get my heart rate back to normal. When the bathroom door creaked open and Dante stepped out fully dressed, my breathing only became more erratic at the fact that I now had to tell him and because of how hot he looked. He was dressed in a cream colored, satin button up tucked into black pants. From across the room, I watched as he slipped into a pair of black and white Jordans before making his way over to me with a sly smirk.
"I guess I'll be glaring at everyone who even looks in your direction tonight, huh?" He remarked in reference to my outfit as he placed his hands on either side of my hips. "You look so good."
All my worries about the phone call seemed to dissipate at his words, a blush covering my cheeks and a bright smile erupting on my face. "Somehow that compliment only sounds good coming from you."
"Keep it that way," he said lowly, making me clench my thighs at just how sexy his voice sounded. This man was constantly dripping in sex appeal, but something about when he spoke to me in that low voice only enhanced that.
He leaned down to kiss me, capturing me in a slow kiss as our tongues clashed and tangled with one another's. His hands moved up from my hips, instead gripping my bare waist as he pulled me flush against his body. I moaned into the kiss when I felt his hand roam even higher to my breast, only for him to pull away seconds later.
"Finish getting ready. We'll continue this later."
Still flustered from such a passionate kiss, all I could do was nod and make my way over to the vanity in the room and continue. I knew I needed to tell him about his mom calling—it was the right thing to do—but I had no idea how to even start. I decided to go with what I was used to and just wing it.
"Dante," I spoke, looking at him through the mirror to see that he had raised his head at the sound of my voice. "Your phone rang while you were in the bathroom and...I ignored it but then the number called back so I figured it must have been important and...well...it was your mom and now she knows my name, and I shouldn't have picked up."
At this point, I was rambling like a maniac trying to explain myself while his expression remained completely neutral—almost relieved. It was weird to say the least.
"You don't have to apologize, Naomi," he chuckled dryly. "I'll call her back soon."
I let out a sigh I hadn't known I was holding in at his words and minutes later we were finished getting ready and headed out to the car. Lauren and Khalil had went on their own little excursion and took a cab, leaving Dante and I with the car.
We reached the club in no time, noticing that it was already filled to the brim with a bunch of people. Luckily for us, Dante had connections and was able to get us seats in a section with a few of his acquaintances. As we walked in, I was surprised that the music they were playing was something I actually enjoyed and could dance to, only to remember that this was quite a touristy club and explained the American R&B music.
Dante held on tightly to my hand as we pushed through crowds of sweaty people, many eyes on us already. I guess a 6'4 man and a girl dressed in an outfit that left almost nothing to the imagination was bound to stand out amongst a crowd.
In the section, he introduced me to a bunch of his acquaintances and their wives and girlfriends who were joining them. As soon as we stepped in, I took notice of the guy—Mauricio—who had been with him that first day we met at the restaurant and had objectified me. Now I was definitely regretting my outfit choice.
"You want a drink?" Dante inquired once we were seated on one of the couches, watching all the people on the dance floor. I so desperately wanted to be out there and was determined to make it there at some point tonight—even if Dante wasn't with me.
"A tequila sunrise," I shouted to him as he stood from the couch and made his way over to the bar to get drinks for us.
Instantly, I felt a pair of eyes on me and glanced over to see Mauricio staring at me, his eyes focused right on my chest. I turned slightly away from him, adjusting the top so it covered me a bit more—although it failed to fix anything—and crossed my legs. I had told Dante multiple times that Mauricio made me uncomfortable, especially since I had seen him a few times at the restaurant afterwards, so I could only wonder if he knew that Mauricio would be here tonight. As much as I wanted to know, I decided that I would bring it up tomorrow in an effort to not ruin the night.
He came back shortly with out drinks and two shots in hand, passing one of the shots and my drink to me. We threw the shots back together before he engaged in a conversation with a few of the other men while I sipped on my drink. I was bored out of my mind, I hadn't wanted to come here just to listen to Dante talk to men in a foreign language all night. I was more than glad when one of the other women in the room approached me and took the seat to my left.
"You do not look amused," she chuckled, leaning back against the back of the couch as she looked me up and down. She was absolutely gorgeous with dark brown coils falling just to her shoulder and contrasting against her medium brown complexion. The little black dress she wore clung to her incredibly curvy frame, accentuating her rounded hips. "I'm Daisy."
"Naomi," I replied with a smile, holding my hand out for her to shake. "And you're right, I am bored out of my mind."
"Me too," she replied, taking a sip of her drink as she glanced at a man seated on the couch across from ours. I could only assume she was with him when he sent her a lingering look and a bright smile that she returned. "My boyfriend always drags me along with him here just for him to end up talking the whole night."
"You live here?"
"No, I live in America, but my boyfriend grew up in France and comes here often. What about you, I know you definitely don't live around here."
Daisy held amazing conversation so far, even if it was small talk. She was quite intriguing with the tone that she used as she spoke to me and the way her gaze constantly fell back to her boyfriend across the room, seemingly teasing him with just the way she looked at him.
"I live in America too. Just here for vacation."
She hummed, peering over my shoulder at Dante. "Hmm...he's your boyfriend?"
I sucked my teeth, looking between the two as I tried to decide how to explain it to her. Finally I settled on saying, "We're on our way to him becoming my boyfriend."
"Enough said," she replied, making us both laugh and take sips of our drinks as Dante finally turned his attention back to me.
"Sorry I've been talking so much, sweetheart," he spoke, wrapping his free arm around my waist and pulling me into his side. "You enjoying yourself?"
"I am," I sang, trailing my fingers down his arm and watching as he followed them with his eyes. "But it'd be even better if you danced with me."
I was more than glad when Dante grabbed my hand and pulled up to stand, moving me in front of him and pulling down my skirt for me as we made our way out of the section. I almost wanted to thank him for that because I definitely didn't want Mauricio—or any of the others—getting a view.
On the dance floor, he firmly wrapped an arm around my waist while the other was on my hip as I draped my arms over his shoulders. We began swaying to the music and I was pleasantly surprised to see that Dante had some rhythm—maybe even more than me.
"I saw you talking to Daisy," he said suddenly, leaning down to whisper it in my ear over the loud music. "How'd you like her?"
"I thought she was really cool. Do you know her well?"
"Her boyfriend and I's families are friends," he explained, his hand roaming down from my hip to my ass.
We continued dancing to the music and I was really starting to feel the few shots I had taken and my drink starting to reach my head. I was uninhibited as I grinded against Dante along to the music, not worried about what others were thinking or seeing. I only cared about Dante and how amused he seemed to be.
Grabbing my hand, he spun me around so that my back was now pressed against his front, still grinding against him and feeling as he got harder in his pants. I felt as his hand crept up to my neck, wrapping around it as I continued going. This night had took an interesting turn and I wasn't bothered on bit.
"I think it's time to leave," he spoke lowly in my ear, a gasp leaving my lips when he squeezed his hand tighter around my neck as his other crept up my inner thigh.
I didn't even need to reply, letting him grab my hand and pull me out of the club and onto our next excursion. And I had a feeling that I would really enjoy it.
a/n: hey...so i'm sorry for such a long waited update, but i've been really busy and it's only going to get more busy from here. i start school this week AND work three shifts after school so please be patient
i promise to update as often as i can! i also promise to not skip out on the smut coming in the next chapter *hint hint*
what do you guys think about daisy? do you think she'll show up again? what do you think will happen when dante calls his mother back?
i hope you enjoyed and please make sure to vote!