Chikara Ennoshita x Male Reader
(Nothing to be said. Read it, pussy; don't ignore it. Are you a chicken?? You're gONNA lEAVE POOR ENNOSHITA HERE ALL ALO—)
You scoffed and rolled your eyes, returning an unimpressed expression to the noirette; the twinge of pain that flashed through his eyes went unnoticed to you.
Or.., did it? Did you really not catch it? Or did you choose to ignore it? You couldn't remember at this point, in all honesty—and that only fueled the faux fire.
"Come on, you really celebrate today? How? Everything in stock at the store is sickeningly sweet, all you see on TV are stupid romcoms, and it's no better if you step outside," your face twisted into one of disgust. "Every couple in Japan is right in front of your eyes, holding hands, giving or getting big, stupid bouquets of flowers, holding hands as they walk, hugging, kissing everywhere you look—it's revolting." You stated, feeling your chest swell and thud, though you lacked the knowledge as to why.
"Valentine's Day is just a stupid day that some stupid guy came up with as an excuse to shower their lover in store-bought gifts for one day. It's not important." Chikara felt awkward in this situation; you and him, the latter having pulled you aside to talk to you, and when he asked you a simple question with a small box of chocolates presented to you. Then, you began talking loud enough for your words to bounce and echo off the gymnasium walls.
This had been going on for weeks. Ennoshita tries to do something to show he cares about you, but then you shut it down so rudely. Acting like you're disgusted by everything he does.
Even Tsukishima was surprised at how much of a dick you were being towards him.
Just as it's been repeating for weeks, it's continued for weeks. But, unbeknownst to you and the rest of the team, this was the last straw.
It was your birthday a couple days ago, Sunday, and Ennoshita got you a gift; it was a beautiful hand-carved figure of a/an (favorite animal) that was painted like (favorite season). He had spent quite a pretty penny on it for you.
So, you had told him not to waste money on something so useless. The two of you didn't so much as look each other's way for the rest of the day.
After practice at the end of the day, you walked yourself home. Halfway there, you felt a bubble in your heart, suddenly feeling sick to your stomach.
When you got inside, you immediately went straight to your room, ignoring your brother's calls for dinner. Closing your door behind you, you dug through your gym bag, pulling out the small figure and putting it on the same shelf as the bouquet of (f/f) you had fished out of the trash after everyone left back in Feburary.
"You know, you should really tell him." Your brother spoke through the door, already aware of what you were thinking about.
"I can't. It'll just end up like the others." You replied.
"It'll end up even worse if you don't." You finally open your bedroom door to let him in, sitting on your bed and letting him follow. "This guy is quite obviously different from anyone else you've done this with, I can tell." He said.
"If you don't fix it soon, you'll regret it."
As if on cue, they both heard the knock on their front door. You swallowed hard and stood up—(B/n) following—going to answer.
Opening the door, you were met with none other than Ennoshita. You expected this, though.
"Hey, do you have some time to talk?" He asked.
"Yes, I do. And I want to—"
"Not right now, no. Why are you even here? Are you some kind of stalker?" You could hear the faint sound of a hand smacking against a forehead.
"No, I just thought—"
"Well, you thought wrong, Ennoshita." You cut him off, a bored and slightly annoyed expression subconsciously making its way to your face.
"(L/n), I know you took that present home with you." The sudden confrontation shocked you for a moment, but you recovered.
"Yamaguchi already took the trash and replaced the bag back in the gym. I brought it home to throw it away here." Your voice was cold, and he had almost left right then and there with an apology for bothering you. Until (B/n) was behind you, holding the small gift up above your head a little ways behind you, silently jumping up and down so the other teen would see it.
And then, the vase of (f/f) was held up, too. But, instead of easing the tension, that instead sent the situation into a spiral.
"If I've been reading you wrong, then just let me know, (Y/n)..! I can't believe you of all people would be the type of guy to string someone along like this!" He yelled, his face was slightly red as he was evidently furious—with every right to be as such—but the rain had helped lighten the shade.
You stood there in utter befuddlement, front door wide open. Even as Ennoshita started walking away. (B/n) was both confused and worried about what just happened.
The rain is coming in through the door. Getting on the carpet...
"..wait..," you mumbled, your e/c eyes blurring with tears—a mostly foreign betrayal of the human body. Slowly, you stepped out the door, barely seeing the (taller/shorter) turn the street corner.
'Wait...' Suddenly, you took off in a jog, leaving (B/n) back in the house.
'Wait..!' Your speed increased, trying your best not to slip on the rain-soaked sidewalk.
'Hold on, I can't... I don't..' The tears came, streaming down your face as you broke into a sprint; your lungs burned, feeling the ice-cold air pump through them as you ran.
"Wait..." You huffed, hearing the same single word pound against your skull over and over again.
"Wait..!" The pouring rain beat against your bare arms, giving your skin the illusion of secretly being made up af millions of tiny needles, but you endured.
"Wait!" You exclaimed, finally catching up to him just enough to grab a hold of his wrist to stop him. Although you had your grip on his arm, Ennoshita still tried to continue walking.
In silence, he gave up on trying to pull away from you; standing there, he waited for you to say whatever you were going to say. So, you spoke:
"I didn't mean to lead you on," you said, keeping your voice raised to be heard over the storm. "I just..."
"..You just what?" The (taller/shorter) asked quietly, clearly still angry and you wanted to fix that... It's now that you've realized just how bad you've fucked this up—how much you've hurt him. And it's now that you need to swallow your pride.
"I was trying to protect myself.., but I couldn't..." You pause, rewording your confession. You needed to tell him the truth; he deserved that much, at least. "I wouldn't see how badly I was hurting you. I refused to acknowledge it, because I knew that everything I was doing was hurting you."
The air between you and him was suffocating until he finally replied.
"You are an asshole." You flinch at the venom in his voice, "An asshole who is so selfish that you choose to hurt people on purpose. And then, you pretend you're doing no harm." Ennoshita turned around, his eyes were red and puffy as more tears joined the rain that slipped down his face.
"And somehow, at the same time, you're a scared little kid. A little boy who is so afraid of letting someone in, that he turns himself into some horrible beast to protect himself." Despite his anger, the noirette never raised his voice. It remained at the same volume—just loud enough to be heard over the rain.
"Do I honestly seem like a threat to you..?"
"Chikara—"
"No, don't beg for anything. Answer my question. Do you seriously think I was trying so hard just to hurt you?" You slowly let your hand slip from his wrist.
. . .
"..no." You muttered, "No, I.., I.." Feeling your heartbeat rev up and poud against your chest, that part of—that beast he spoke of—it tried to claw at your back; its words demanding to escape from your throat.
But, for the first time in years, you wouldn't let them come out. You swallowed them down and spoke for yourself. You spoke the truth.
"You're the most incredible person I've ever met." Your statement shocked Ennoshita, to say the least, as he stood there, taken aback.
"You're kind, you're tenacious, you're strong, caring, funny, smart, gorgeous, your smile is always contagious to everyone around you, whenever something goes wrong, you're right there, trying your best to fix it. You're always solving conflicts, suggesting solutions, I'm so envious of the way you're leadership skills seem to come so naturally—almost like there's no effort you have to put in, but I know there is. You try so hard to be your best every single day, and then there's me." Your chest begins to heave, but you ignore it.
"Some.., some asshole who's a scared, selfish, little kid. Some absolute dick who is so stuck in the past that he never wants anyone to feel attached. Someone who is the absolute worst at making friends, letting people in, school, sports, smiling, showing at least a little bit of kindness, trusting the people around me, the worst at just being alive! I'm afraid of people, I'm afraid of myself, I'm afraid of being alone, but I'm terrified to let someone care for me!" You can't stop crying, now yelling. Not at him, but at yourself.
"I don't think I'm better than you, Chikara, I think you're better than me! In fact, I know you are! Because I fuck up, so bad! I screw up, and I keep screwing up! I'm not meant for this! I'm not what you need—you don't deserve everything I've done to you! And I don't deserve you!" You've started to shake and tremble; the wave of such overwhelming emotions combined with the freezing cold pouring rain were hitting you. Hard.
"I hurt you, I kept hurting you, and I'm still hurting you, so why!? Why are you here, right now, still listening to me!? Why haven't you walked away!?" You asked.
"You're right," he began, "I should walk away. I need to get home out of the rain, anyways."
And there you went again. Wrecking something that could have been beautiful before it even got the chance to be.
You fell to your knees, blaming yourself—hating yourself—for what just happened. Sure, you had done this plenty of times before, but you never felt this horrible.
You felt like a monster.
:)