Confusing feelings
Ivy didn't know what was wrong with her. She hadn't slept all night and couldn't eat a bite in the morning. The constant reminder that Bucky had finally gone to war put her in permanent fear. She didn't know she could miss a person who wasn't Howard so much. She had become addicted to Bucky's personality in the last few months. She longed to argue with him every morning, to stifle a smile at his jokes and feel his warmth.
She had never craved anyone's warmth as much as she craved his, and it scared her. Never had her body responded so much to a touch. She wanted so much... But she didn't know what. She had so much to say, but she didn't have the right words. Ivy knew only one thing for sure: she had to see Bucky again.
"Hey, I was hoping you'd be here." Steve nervously barged into her little bookshop, causing Ivy to startle. She had been so lost in thought that she hadn't even noticed his arrival.
"Steve? Are you all right? What happened?" she asked anxiously, bracing herself against her counter so as not to collapse in exhaustion. Steve stopped in front of her counter and noticed her tiredness as well as she noticed his nervousness.
"Are you all right?" he asked cautiously and Ivy nodded with a tired smile.
"Yeah, just didn't sleep well" Ivy said and Steve nodded thoughtfully. He knew only too well why she had slept badly. Suddenly he felt bad that he would come here and imprint her with another piece of news.
"Steve, what's the matter? You're trying to tell me something. I can see it in your eyes" said Ivy, who had noticed Steve's frantic movements despite her tiredness.
"It can wait,"
"No tell me. Please. You can tell me everything" Ivy assured him, looking at him curiously.
"I've been accepted" Steve said under his breath. He looked intently at Ivy's face, trying to read any reaction from it, but her face told him nothing.
"This is crazy!"
"You're leaving me too" Ivy thought, but smiled proudly at Steve. "I'm happy for you" she said and hugged him. She didn't let on and kept her true thoughts to herself. Steve had been so desperate to get into the army and Ivy knew that. She knew how much this move meant to him. She wouldn't mess up this moment. Of course she would support him, no matter how much the approaching loneliness was tearing her apart from the inside.
"Really?" asked Stege in amazement as he hugged Ivy back.
"Yes, of course. I know how much it means to you" Ivy whispered with a small smile as she let go of Steve and took a step backwards.
"I have to leave tomorrow" Steve said quietly and Ivy bit her bottom lip.
"Then tomorrow is the day Steve Grant Rogers is going to make the military unsafe."
~°~
But it was also the day Ivy felt lonelier than she had in a long time. She didn't even have the motivation to get out of bed and go to her bookshop. She would love to spend the whole day in silence here and-...
"Get up and enjoy the day, Frosty!" Howard yelled extra loudly, pulling aside the curtains on Ivy's window.
"Howard, stop it!" Ivy yawned into her pillow and pulled the covers over her head, hoping Howard and the sun would disappear again.
"Being a good brother? To be better looking than you? To be brilliant? Unimaginable-"
"Howard!" groaned Ivy in annoyance, banging her head against her pillow.
"What? You didn't make your point," he complained, dropping backwards down onto her bed. To be more accurate, he fell right down onto Ivy.
"Howard!" yelled Ivy angrily, somehow trying to push him off her back.
"My name seems to be your favourite word today, Frosty," Howard grinned and rolled off her back to pull the blanket off her.
"What do you want?" she asked annoyed, but didn't lift her head from the pillow.
"Don't be icy with me, Frosty," Howard replied. When Ivy finally turned her face to him, he wiggled his eyebrows up and down to draw attention to his remark.
"Get out of here," Ivy sighed, dropping her head back into her pillow.
"Damn, are you on your period?" asked Howard, to which Ivy groaned loudly into her pillow.
"Is that a yes or a no? I'm worried about my safety here right now" Howard pecked anyway.
Ivy suddenly straightened up and started hitting him with her pillows.
"What - - is - - actually - - wrong - - - with--you?" she asked between a few hits.
"Definitely not my looks and the way I dress" Howard replied, grabbing another pillow with one hand to attack Ivy back.
"Howard!" she screamed as she unexpectedly got the pillow in the face and fell off the bed because of it.
"Uh oh," Howard whispers when he saw her angry face. He smiled nervously at her, really hoping he hadn't started a war here. "Do you believe me when I say it was an accident?" he asked uncertainly and Ivy shook her head angrily.
"Yes.... I thought so..."
~°~
"I so won this" Howard bragged as he stalked into the kitchen of his flat.
"Excuse me? Did I hit you over the head too hard or why are you talking bullshit?" asked Ivy indignantly as she followed him into the kitchen.
"Did bullshit ever come out of my mouth?" asked Howard arrogantly as he poured himself a cup of coffee, which Ivy snatched from him.
"When hasn't it?" she sassed and Howard gasped, offended and shocked at the same time.
"Did you just -...? Jarvis, did you hear that too?" Howard asked the butler who sat comfortably at the table with his cup of tea.
"Yes, I did. Wonderful comeback, Miss Ivy" complimented Jarvis.
"Thank you Jarvis" Ivy said with a small proud smile as Howard fell over dramatically against the fridge, holding his heart.
"I can't believe you two ganged up on me! It's-"
"Howard, move aside. You're blocking the food!" Ivy said annoyed, pushing her brother aside.
"I'm having a moment here!"
"And I'm hungry!" retorted Ivy, closing the fridge behind her to further ignore Howard's dramatics.
"Jarvis, do you hear that too?" asked Howard in horror.
"That Miss Ivy is acting like your sister? Yes, I do. Now if you'll excuse me," Jarvis got up from the table and folded his newspaper under his arm, "I'll go read my paper somewhere else."
Ivy watched the butler with a grin as he left the room, while Howard looked after him with his mouth open.
"What's going on today?" he muttered to himself, scratching his head.
"Maybe you're on your period" Ivy teased as she sipped her coffee.
"Yeah, haha" Howard said dryly, taking a sip of Jarvis' tea only to gulp it right back out into the cup.
"How the hell does he drink it? It's way too hot!" he complained as Ivy looked at him in disgust.
"Did you just -"
"We're not talking about that," Howard said, looking for ice cubes in the refrigerated section. When he didn't find any after all, he turned to his sister with a sweet smile that looked sinister in Ivy's eyes.
"Can you make me some ice cubes?" he asked nicely and Ivy pinched the brick of her nose.
"Are you serious?" she asked, stunned, and he nodded.
"My throat is on fire! Come on, Frosty. Help your brother out!" he begged. Ivy froze the water in a glass that Howard held out to her into small cubes. Howard beamed gratefully at her and shoved the ice cubes down his throat.
"My brother's an idiot," she muttered, which did not go unheard by Howard.
"Hey!" he complained with his mouth full and proceeded to chew the ice cubes. The noise made Ivy screw up her face.
"Sure you're not on your period?" asked Howard as he chewed his ice cubes.
"Yes, Howard. I'd know if I had tons of blood coming out of my-"
"I didn't want to know that exactly!" interrupted Howard, covering his ears.
"And did you have to? I'm eating!" he complained like a toddler, which made Ivy raise her eyebrows.
"First of all, you asked" Ivy said with a deadpanned face. "And secondly, you're chewing ice cubes, that doesn't qualify as eating."
"Okay, stop diverting from the subject" Howard said as he swallowed the last of the ice cubes.
"We're on topic?" asked Ivy, frowning in confusion.
"Um, yeah..." deadpanned Howard. "What did the jacket guy do that made you sulk around and where can I find him to punch him in the face for hurting my baby sister."
"What?" stuttered out Ivy with her mouth open. Her wide eyes stared at Howard dumbfounded as he looked at her calmly.
"Did you really think I wouldn't notice how happy you were since the jacket incident? Frosty, I'm your brother. I pick up on stuff like that." Howard grabbed Ivy's bagel and started eating it while Ivy continued to look at him dumbfounded and speechless.
"I didn't say anything about it because you seemed happy.... But for the last two weeks you've just been sulking -"
"I'm not!" protested Ivy and Howard gave her a pointed look.
"You almost didn't crawl out of your bed today to go to your bookshop and you love your bookshop" Howard continued listing the facts. Ivy blinked a few times and scratched her temple, only to meet Howard's concerned gaze again.
"He didn't hurt me" she then whispered, to which Howard raised his eyebrows and tilted his head.
"Then what do I have to punch him for-"
"You're not going to punch anyone, Howard!" Ivy said sternly. "He... He's gone to war" Ivy whispered sadly, looking down at her coffee mug.
"Oh" Howard looked at his sister in pity, not quite knowing what to say. He had honestly expected a different answer and was not prepared for it.
"Do you love him?"
Ivy choked on her own gulp and looked at Howard with wide eyes.
"What, Howard, you've got this completely wrong.... We're just friends.... ." she tried to explain in a panic, her heart running a marathon and her face taking on a red glow.
"Friends... Yeah right... It all makes sense now" Howard said sarcastically and Ivy shook her head.
"Howard, I'm serious. We're just friends!" assured Ivy to Howard, or maybe even to herself. She and Bucky were friends and nothing more. He saw her like a friend and she him.... Bucky was... Her friend. She had sworn to herself not to develop romantic feelings for him.
"And Foundu is just a dish!" laughed Howard, which made Ivy look at him quizzically.
"What?"