"Oh shit, yeah...Happy anniversary" he said, lazily almost as if he was forced to say it
She hadn't forced him. She didn't even remind him, she tried to give him hints but he clearly had forgotten. He'd forgotten up until she mentioned the date. It took a while and then it clicked. It clicked that a whole year ago they got together.
He always forgot everything important to her.
"Come on princess don't be like that" he called out in an annoyed tone, as she went to grab her stuff, as she didn't want to stay over at his tonight
"No, it's fine I'm just gonna go home" she smiled weakly, lacing up her air forces
"Naomi you're not fucking going home" he said with force
"I'm going home" she repeated, not even looking at him, she didn't want to spend the night if he was already annoyed with her
"Nooo" he whined "please stay" he pleaded, looking at with sad eyes
Naomi stopped for a moment to look at him, as she had her bag from sixth form in hand, ready to go
"You're busy though" she responded, nodding at the controller in his hand - which had practically been glued to him the moment they got to his.
Putting the controller down quickly, Josiah got up and pulled her arm gently - making her fall onto him as he said, "Well not anymore" kissing her on the cheek - making her giggle
Whilst they were cuddling each other, Naomi kicked off her shoes.
She was hoping that maybe this time he'd make up for it. Maybe this time he was just in a bit of a bad mood and he didn't mean to upset her.
He just accidentally forgot.
That happens, right?
But as things always went for Naomi, it didn't take long for Josiah to grab his phone and start to ignore her.
Putting down the controller was one thing - but as their conversation and like always - his happy mood fizzled out, he grabbed his easiest distraction - that being his phone.
That same prized phone he wouldn't leave the room without. The one that always made him smile and laugh, but whenever Naomi asked what he was looking at - he'd claim it was nothing.
"Josiah" she called out, getting his attention away from his phone which he was always on. Which he always hid or locked whenever she got too close.
He glanced down at her, immediately sitting up, adjusting his crotch as he stared at her hungrily.
She knew what that look meant, it made her heart sink. It made her skin crawl. It made her want to run away, but she had to stop him before he got too close this time.
Something clearly got him happy on his phone.
He was smiling at her. He was smiling, but the moment he saw her tug on her sleeves more often than she usually did, as she swallowed harshly, he knew something was up.
He knew she had done something he wouldn't like.
"What, Naomi?" He seethed, growing annoyed with her already
"I think that we should- No, I want. I want to end this, us...I want to break u-" she stuttered out because she knew she wanted to say this, but finally saying it aloud was another thing
It was time.
She needed to do this. She had to because Josiah hadn't been treating her any better and she needed this to change. She needed to get away from him.
"Don't you fucking dare finish that sentence, we're not breaking up princess, end of discussion" he stated
Watching him switch was so odd because the next thing that came out of his mouth was, "Come on. You don't mean that" in a soft voice
Taking a deep breath, Naomi continued to stare at him. "I want us to break up" she repeated
He blinked at her slowly, registering that she had just said what he didn't want to hear. That she had disobeyed him and told him that she wanted to end something which he had so generously given her - a relationship.
Her words hit him like lightening. Naomi even saw him wince when she finished her sentence.
Shaking his head, he inhaled and exhaled harshly.
Naomi chewed the inside of her cheeks in nerves of what he was going to do to her. Did she have enough time to run if he tried anything?
Breaking the deafening silence of the Naomi's words still lingering in the air, Josiah got up from his bed, walking over to his door and locking it.
She wanted to run.
She wanted to get up and get out of there as fast as she could, but she couldn't.
Her body wouldn't let her.
So she stayed. She stayed sat there on the edge of his bed as he stood infront of her, reaching his hand out to cup her face.
Almost off of instinct Naomi flinched from his cold hands touching her, but that didn't stop him. It didn't stop him, instead he put on his mask.
His mask of the vulnerable, sweet boy she once fell for.
"Naomi" He finally said, bringing her chin up so that she would look up at him stood before her.
So that she could see the clear power dynamic divide between them of him stood towering above her. How he had a claim on her and she couldn't leave unless he let her.
"Please don't do this" he pleaded, his voice wavering in the middle
He should be an actor.
He knew exactly what to say and how to say it, just to pull at Naomi's heart strings to make her walls come falling straight back down and she'd run right back into his open arms, completely forgetting that in a few hours, days or weeks time - it changed everytime - that she had infact gone back to her very own devil in disguise.
"Please" he whispered, brushing his thumb over her chin as she swallowed, trying to get the words of 'no' or 'leave me alone' or even 'it's done, I'm not coming back' to leave her mouth.
She hated how he was looking at her with such hope that she'd stay. That she'd take him back this time. That he could sweet talk her again, but she couldn't, she wouldn't.
She didn't know that she was going to do this until today. She didn't realise that she had made her choice - her decision of ending it all until today. She had made the decision today because she had officially sent off her two hundred and fifty pound deposit for her flat at her university accommodation off today, and then to top it off, this really sweet girl called Aimee from her course found her on socials and said that they should be friends and walk to lectures together.
It was a plan for the future.
It was hope.
All Naomi needed was a bit of hope and university and this new girl called Aimee, who she hoped would be a good friend, gave her that.
It gave her hope and it gave her courage.
Courage to get out of this shitty relationship.
Naomi had been silent for too long on Josiah's end and he knew she was thinking things through too much this time. If she really calculated things, she'd leave him for good and he couldn't have that. He needed to get into her head. "Just one more chance, Naomi. Princess, please" his voice cracked as he let a stray tear fall from his eye and onto his cheek as he spoke
She didn't know whether she was truly hurting him or this was all a front, but it all looked so real. It was all so real.
He was good at lying, and acting but right now was one of his best performances and Naomi couldn't differentiate and was leaning more to the real side. To the side where he was actually begging for her forgiveness. Where he was crying for her.
But she knew deep down she had to do this now. That if she didn't do this in this moment, she would never be able to convince herself that she had a clear route out. That she had a future ahead of her, which he couldn't ruin. Which he couldn't hold her back from.
"Say something, please" he was now begging as he crouched down, no longer in his standing position but eye level with Naomi
"We're done Josiah" she whispered, gently pulling his hand off of her chin as she got up to leave
"But I love you" There was that word that Naomi hated. She hated it because of him. Because of how he used it to manipulate her. To get into her good books, to take the meaning of being a self respecting human being away from her by him constantly justifying his actions towards her by saying, 'but you're my girlfriend and I love you'. What did love even mean anymore if this was what if he had drilled into her head that this was it? The constant verbal abuse, the mistreating, the lack of communication, the forcing of sexual favours.
"But I don't" she spoke
"No!" snapped as that once burning rage from earlier returned and he stood up to his full height, pushing Naomi back onto his bed
"You're not leaving me" he reiterated, unloosening his joggers as Naomi eyes went wide and she attempted to get up
"I am Josiah, I'm leaving, let me go, please" she pleaded as she saw him pull out his hard member out of his boxers
It was almost as if seeing her scared got him hard.
"Fine" he grunted, stroking himself above her, "One more time princess and then you can go"
"One more time?" She questioned quietly afraid to what he wanted
"I fuck you one more time and then...well then you won't want to leave me" he said as he climbed ontop of her, pushing his body weight onto her so that she couldn't get over, breathing heavily onto her face as he pushed up her skirt.
"No, Jos-" she pleaded, not wanting him
"Be fucking quiet like the little slut you are" he seethed, moving her panties to the side and pushing himself inside of her
"C-condom?" She squeaked out, knowing that if this was happening she wanted protection,
They always wore protection, even when-
Even when she didn't want to have sex.
"No" he smiled, kissing her harshly as he pushed into her, as she grew still out of shock and fear - staring at the window as the heavy rain began to land onto the glass
Just focus on the rain
Just focus on the rain
"Josiah! Get the clothes off of the line it's raining!" His mum called out to him
Swallowing harshly at the retelling of the last time she had seen her ex boyfriend before she left for university, Theo couldn't believe it. "That's what happened?" Theo asked as he stared at Naomi who refused to look at him
"That was the last time you saw him before left for university?" He continued as Naomi looked down at her covers as she refused to look at Theo sat at the edge of the bed
"Yes" she breathed out, trying not to cry after telling Theo everything from the beginning to the very end. Or what she thought was the end, when Josiah yanked up his jeans, going to grab the washing from the line - and Naomi grabbed her stuff and ran out of that house as quickly as possible when she saw him go into the garden.
Everything about her history with Josiah was on the table.
Theo thought he'd feel better when he heard the truth from Naomi, the whole truth about who Josiah was but no. when she told him whole story he felt like throwing up
He felt disgusted by the fact that Naomi had gone through that. However long of shitty treatment like that and she stayed. She stayed time after time and it wasn't until university was on the cards that she saw her opportunity to leave.
Looking up from his shaking palms, he looked at her. He looked at his beautiful girl and there she was, crying.
She looked so-
So, broken
Was this the broken she always spoke about when she said she was?
Closing his eyes as he heard the sniffles from her, from her trying to swallow down the sobs which were screaming to leave her throat at the retelling of such a traumatic story, Theo couldn't deal with this anymore
He couldn't just sit there
He just couldn't
Getting up from the edge of the bed, Theo had his eyes set on one thing and one thing only
Her bedroom door
He had to. He had to leave. He needed his legs to take him away. To take him far away
Hearing loud footsteps across her room, Naomi looked up through her glassy vision and saw the boy who was her everything storming out of her bedroom
"Theo!" she called out, but it didn't stop him
He was on a mission
"Theo, please!" She yelled out, taking a leap of faith and getting out of her bed for the first time in however long and chasing him to her bedroom door
Halting his step as he felt Naomi's hands grasping onto his arms, clawing onto him, trying to keep him there - he didn't dare look over his shoulder as he couldn't bare to look at her right now
"Please don't think less of me because of this" she pleaded, trying to pull him back to her bed, but it was no use - he was so much stronger than her
"Theo please don't leave me!" She cried out, tears falling freely from her eyes as she began to hiccup
"Please" she sniffled
Choking on a sob, Naomi watched him hesitate as he put his hand on the door handle to leave her bedroom, "I'm begging you, please stay" she whispered, barely audible but he heard it
Theo heard it
He heard it and he could've sworn that he could hear his own heart beating out of his chest as her sobs continued
After a moment, he took a breath, mumbling - "Just give me a minute"
Slowly, Naomi let go of Theo's arm she was clawing onto and trusted him. She trusted what he said, choosing to believe he just needed a minute and then he'll be back
Nodding, she silently watched him open her bedroom door and disappear through it once he closed it.
She couldn't help but feel her heart pounding out of her chest, the moment that door clicked shut. The moment Theo left her alone with her thoughts
Immediately, she rushed back into her bed, climbing under the covers. Climbing back into her comfort place. The one and only place she felt safe right now.
Her bed
Yes, it was the same bed that her and Theo had so many memories in, but that was just part of it. It was a safe place. A safe place where he held her, spoke to her, got to know her.
If Theo wasn't willing to be her safe place right now, then she'd stick to the second best - her bed.
Bundling herself up in her covers, Naomi couldn't help but feel the coldness seep in and make her shiver.
It was the middle of spring and yet she couldn't help but feel cold
Cold because she knew who she truly wanted with her right now.
She was just hoping, no - praying for Theo to come back
To walk back through her bedroom door and tell it was all gonna be okay.
That he was still there for her.
Bringing her out of her thoughts, Naomi jumped at the sound of several things smashing downstairs.
It wasn't long after that she heard heavy footsteps making their way towards her bedroom
And there he was
Stood there, breathing heavily, chest rising and falling as he locked eyes with her
She watched him carefully as he didn't utter a word, but cautiously walked back into her bedroom, Returning to the very same spot he sat at before
Almost like the last five minutes didn't happen and she didn't beg for him not to leave her
Breaking the deafening silence, Theo finally spoke.
"How long-" he paused, needing to just take a shaky breath, "How long were you with him"
"What?" Naomi asked because she could barely hear him over her heart pounding out of her chest
"Naomi, please just tell me. How long were you with him? How long did you deal with him treating you like that?"
"Just over a year" she whispered
"Fucking hell" he muttered
"Baby" he sighed, "H-he" he paused because he didn't even want to say it, but he had to - he had to speak the truth, "Baby, he raped-"
"No!" She screamed, not wanting to hear that word. Never wanting to hear that word associated with her, so she took a breath and quietened her voice as she said, "No he didn't"
Furrowing his brows as he just watched her reaction to that word and after her listened to the story of what her ex boyfriend did to her, along with what he did to her in the bathroom at Elijah's, Theo questioned her, "But-"
Interrupting him because she needed to get her reasons out she quickly explained, "I'm not defending him. I would never defend him, but don't ever say that he did that" she swallowed, once again not saying a certain word, "Please" she quietly pleaded to Theo. "Not for his sake, but mine" she asked of him.
"He stopped. He didn't actually-" she tried to explain to Theo because Josiah hadn't actually managed to do that.
Or had he, and Naomi just blocked it out?
Was there more than one thrust and she just zoned out until she heard his mum calling him?
"No" Theo spoke calmly but with assertion, "You're saying that he stopped, but he only did because his mum was calling him since it was raining and he had to get the clothes off of the line, but doesn't excuse it" Theo recounted telling Naomi that he understood that Josiah never actually got down to it properly because of Gina asking him to get the clothes off of the line, but he was going to. If, just if his mother hadn't called him, he wouldn't of stopped.
"Baby, there were too many times to count that he didn't stop. That he went further than you actually wanted him to - think about it. Just really think about it, at the BBQ, if I didn't come in, what would've happened? Your first time - your first time with him, he, he forced you-" Theo recounted two times where Naomi had explained that Josiah was extremely forceful and didn't listen to her
Shaking her head she said "No" as she didn't even let Theo speak his point.
"He didn't. And I know he didn't because... because I gave in..." she looked down at her fingers, "I gave in and let it happen. I let him do that to me" she confessed, remembering her first time with him and how he kept asking and asking and eventually she just said ok and it happened. He climbed ontop of her and just did it. "I'm dumb, I know. I guess it was coercion, but not that word" she whispered, "please don't say that word" she swallowed.
"It wasn't that word" she repeated
"He didn't do that" she said as if it was set in stone and she wasn't changing her mind about it
Sighing because he could tell Naomi refused to even mention the word in particular of what Josiah had done to her, let alone admit acknowledge it, Theo said, "You didn't give in. You felt like you had no choice" he mumbled quietly refusing to hear Naomi defend that abuser another time,
"But still baby that wasn't a relationship, that was abuse" he attempted to get her to understand where he was coming from
"No it wasn't" she scoffed, shaking her head at him
"I'm not going to claim that I was abused when that's not true. I wasn't abused. I'm not a victim, I'm not someone who's going to claim that for attention" she defended herself and Theo felt like pulling out his hair in frustration at what she was saying
"Attention?" He questioned with raised eyebrows at how Naomi was acting and what she was saying
It was like she couldn't even hear herself
"Attention?" He echoed lowly, with a scoff of his own at her
"Yeah... attention away from someone who's been abused for real" she muttered as Theo eyes quickly caught hers in surprise
"For real?" He echoed, "Abused for real?" He asked her again because he couldn't get over her actually saying this
Naomi stayed quiet
"What, you don't think you were abused for real, because he didn't raise his hand to you? Because he didn't slap you around? Drag you by your hair? Punch you? Pinch you? Because he didn't do all of that, you weren't abused?" He questioned as Naomi stayed silent once again - looking down at her fingers hating what Theo was saying because it was making her see things differently
It was making her see the truth that she had pushed down, deep down inside that she didn't need coming to light.
"So you're saying not once did you feel intimidated in that relationship?"
"Threatened?"
"Controlled?"
Theo listed off each and every word he could see in Naomi's eyes when he heard her talk about Josiah. The same way he saw his sister breakdown when she finally realised what kind of situation she was in with her ex.
"Fuck!" He couldn't help but yell as he abruptly got up from her bed, standing up and not even being able to even look at her, "fuck! I can't- I shouldn't, shit, Stass was right" he mumbled with a million and one things running through his head
"What?" Naomi questioned as she watched Theo not even spare a second glance at her as he grabbed his phone and turned around, "Theo talk to me, please I-"
And he was gone
No waiting, no hesitation, nothing
Theo walked out of her bedroom, through that door, storming through the house and slamming the front door shut