JOHN PAUL
I feel like shit. Not just because of the damn hangover I have, but because of how I treated Charmaine; she was so happy to see me, and I treated her coldly.
It has to be this way, I remind myself. I have to make her hate me for her to leave. But knowing how damn stubborn she is, she will keep badgering me until I tell her what's wrong; I groan inwardly at how things got so fucked up so quickly.
I'm driving to my meeting with Joey, and he keeps looking at me; his nosey ass will start asking questions, too, so I try to act like nothing's wrong.
"So, how have things been while I've been gone?" I ask him casually.
"Good. Quiet." Joey tells me. "How was Miami?"
"It's a fucking sauna down there 24/7. I was sweating my balls off for the first two weeks." I tell him. "But the project is coming along well, despite what happened at the construction site. Timo also had me check out some of the other businesses around the area he may buyout, to take out as much competition as possible for when it's up and running."
"What else is around there?" He asks me.
"A couple of casinos and a few clubs," I answer. "So, everything has been good here, then?" I mentally facepalm myself, realizing I've already asked him that, but he doesn't seem to notice.
"Yeah, I figured Char would have updated you on the shit going on," Joey tells me, giving me a side glance.
I clear my throat. "She has, but you know how women are, focusing on the shit we don't care about."
When in reality, I kept my conversations short with her whenever I talked to her.
"Annalisa has been over non-stop, doing wedding stuff, I assume. And they've done some shopping; that reminds me, any idea what you want to do for your birthday?"
I frown, realizing my birthday is coming up next month. I tell Joey I haven't thought about it, being busy with everything else.
"Enzo's been around a lot too. Working out with Santino and Char."
I clench my jaw, also realizing the very actual possibility that I'm pushing her towards Enzo. But he's in the same boat as I am, if not worse; he's too far deep in this life to walk away, at least there's one thing I have going for me.
<><><><>
Later that night, I can't keep myself away any longer. I had sent her a few responses to her texts, but I need to see her. Being around her, hugging and kissing her this morning as her sweet scent filled my senses, made a fire burn within me.
I just need to hold her, I tell myself. It's after midnight, and I know she's already sleeping.
I walk into her room and see her sleeping form on the bed. She left the curtains open to the terrace doors, letting more light in than usual. The moonlight casts a slight glow of light over her face, giving her an ethereal look as she sleeps.
I move over to the other side of the bed, undressing as I make my way over, and I slip under the covers, bringing her up close to me. I inhale deeply, wanting to imprint her scent in my mind. I can't help myself as I move her hair and place a soft kiss on her neck.
She stirs in her sleep and turns over to face me; her eyes flutter open, and she looks at me for a moment.
Her fingers trace over my face lightly as she looks at me.
The sadness in her beautiful eyes is too much for me, and I kiss her, not wanting to see the look I know I put there.
I kiss her slowly, and as she parts her lips, I explore her mouth, taking my time savoring the taste of her.
She moans into my mouth, holding me tightly against her before she moves her hands down my neck, chest, and stomach.
Her hand wraps around me, stroking my length, and I want nothing more than to bury myself in her.
"I've missed you, baby," I confess because I have more than she'll ever know, and I know that my letting her go will kill me.
I move my hands down under the hoodie she's wearing and cup her breasts. I am taking my time to feel her under my hands, caressing, squeezing, and massaging the curves of her body.
I move my hands down and slip my fingers inside her panties, finding her wet slit, warm and inviting.
I slip a finger in, stroking her slowly, and she arches herself into me, pushing her hips towards me, and I add another finger, as I watch her face, loving the sounds that she's making from my touch.
When I slip my fingers out of her, she sits up and removes the hoodie, and lays back down as I pull her sweats and panties off. I kiss her wanting to taste her forever as I move down her neck until I put her full breasts in my mouth, suckling them.
She moans my name loudly as her hands run through my hair. "I missed you so much, John Paul." She tells me breathlessly.
I kiss and lick my way down her stomach, and she jerks a little but relaxes as I move down over her until I move my tongue over her clit. Using my tongue and mouth and moan in pleasure of her sweetness; that I can never seem to get enough of.
I continue to feast on her as she fist my hair in her hands.
"John Paul, please." She begs.
I move back up and enter her in one quick thrust. She cries out in pleasure, wrapping her strong legs around me as I continue to move in and out of her, her hips meeting mine with each pump.
I caress her leg and slide my hand down her thigh and squeeze her ass that I love.
She flips us around as she grinds her hips over me and starts moving her body on top of me. I'm mesmerized by how fucking beautiful she is.
It's like her body has changed since I've been gone this last month. She leans back, moaning in pure ecstasy, moving herself to a torturous pace.
I sit up and hold her close as she continues to rock her hips on me, and I pull her hair back as I kiss her neck, biting and grazing her soft skin. I'm a little rough on her knowing she'll have marks on her neck in the morning, but I can't get enough of her. Finally, I find her mouth, swallowing her moans as she runs her nails over my back.
I move us back, so she's under me and lift her legs over my shoulders. Her beautiful breasts bounce freely as I thrust into her over and over again. She grips the sheets as she unravels under me, but I can't come yet. Instead, I want to savor feeling her clenching around my dick and move slower as I lower her legs, leaning over her again.
"Look at me, baby."
Her eyes are filled with desire and love when she opens her eyes. I pick up the pace as we continue to look at each other; our bodies are slick now. "Always remember how much I love you, no matter what," I tell her, panting. "Sempre, amore mio."
"I love you so much, John Paul." She sighs my name, and I release myself into her as she orgasms under me again.
I hold her until she falls asleep on me, then I ease myself away. I move her hair away from her face and kiss her lips gently. "Please let me let you go," I whisper as I have tears building my eyes.
I get up slowly, feeling the tears fall as I get dressed quietly. I look back at her, reminding myself that she deserves better, and walk out of her room one last time.
<><><><>
I don't sleep long; my mind is racing non-stop.
After tossing and turning endlessly, I get up and head out for a run around the property. I greet several men on guard duty as I make my way out, and they nod in acknowledgment.
But the run doesn't clear my head like it usually does; I don't think anything will make me feel better at this point.
I sit out on the terrace, drinking my coffee as I look over the serene land that's been my home since we moved in after my mom became sick. My gaze drifts over at the giant tree, where the swing is. Remembering the night I proposed to Charmaine; that moment seems like so long ago now, almost so long it doesn't feel like it happened.
"Can't sleep?"
I turn and see my father, already dressed in his suit attire. He sits next to me at the table, sighing as he takes a drink from his cup of coffee.
"You fucked with my head. But I guess that was your plan, wasn't it?" I ask him bitterly.
"I didn't fuck with your head, John Paul. But, you know as well as I do, she does not belong in our world. She's too pure, too weak. She deserves better. Do you honestly think she won't walk away from you when she finds out what happened in Miami? What you did?"
"Think about her long-term goals. Do you honestly think she'll be able to get anywhere with her name tied to Timo, or even you, now? It will always hang over her like a dark cloud.
Doors will close more than open. No one will want to associate themselves with her, knowing who her family is. So, if you want her to have any chance getting those dreams of hers, you need to walk away, now."
My mind is such a fucked up jumbled mess. I don't know if he's right anymore, but I know I couldn't handle her leaving me, so I have to be the one to do it.
My father continues. "God, I think of your mother, and while it hurts like hell not to have her here, I also thank him for sparing her, saving her from becoming something to be used, with the assholes we deal with; she was my weakness, just as Charmaine is yours."
"Charmaine's not going to go willingly. She's stubborn as fuck. She'll fight me on leaving her." I tell him already, seeing how she'll be relentless until she finds out what is going on.
"Then take the fight out of her, make her hate you." My father tells me. I hate him even more now with how he says it so casually like it's no big fucking deal.
"I don't know if I can do that," I tell him quietly.
"You can. And you will because you love her. And want her alive, safe and happy, away from all of this. You know her better than anyone, and you know what you need to do."
He's right.
I have to make her believe I don't love her--that I don't want to be with her. My father stands and leaves me alone, and I'm glad he does as I begin to break down.
What I have to do will crush her. But I know in time, even though her hate for me will consume her love, she will move on.
She will live the life she is meant to live, away from all the fucking rivalry, vendetta's, death, and bullshit.
I rub my eyes, groaning and praying for forgiveness, and set out to do what I must for her to leave.
~~~~~~
Who thinks Tony's advice is coming from a good place? IS he right, though?
Theories on what JP's going to do?