I'm going to discontinue this book.
It's incredibly painful to leave this half done, and I really really wish I could complete it but I just can't. And I've been writing and rewriting this note so many times and for so long but at the end of the day, there's no easy way to do it.
I don't want to waste anyone's time weeping over myself but I believe I still owe an explanation to every one of you who waited days (sometimes weeks) for updates and still told me how much you liked it even if I wasn't happy with it.
It's hard to write beautiful things when I can't see how they're beautiful. I want to make it good but it's not happening. None of my recent chapters have turned out the way I wanted them to, none of them make me feel like I haven't wasted my time and my energy. If I could, I would rewrite at least the last thirty chapters. I want to write like I used to—chapter one, if you remember, and chapter forty-six—but it's just not happening. I don't have with me anymore something I had back then (I have a guess; maybe it's my last shred of mental stability).
This was an incredibly difficult decision but I think I'd rather leave the book when it's at least somewhat good rather than let it go to complete shit. And I think as far as discontinued books go, this one's going to end at a decent place. Of course there are loose ends that I wish I could tie up—but I suppose we can't have everything we want in life.
I'd rather remember writing as something I used to love, and something that, after a long day, could make me feel a little better. I don't want to remember it as something that drained me. Even if I didn't love anything, I'd still want with me the memory of something I loved in the past.
So that's why I'm stopping.
I'm not sure if I'll leave Wattpad altogether—i definitely won't be deleting my account but I don't know if I have a reason to come back anymore.
Thank you for your patience, and for your most generous support. And I'm sorry it had to end like this.
I wish you the best in life, in whatever your endeavours may be.
Your author,
Isuri