10 Years Later
THE moon was mocking him. The silver ball of shining light surrounded by his stars. Even he had someone around him in the vast darkness of the night.
Draco's feet dangle by the edge of the roof at Malfoy Manor. He didn't bother thinking about jumping down anymore. He was way past that. Catherine wouldn't want that for him, he surely wouldn't want her to beat his ass if they met this way. Even a universe away she still had control on his actions.
The alcohol that burned his throat was his only salvation for the night. The chatter and the music still blaring from down below and Draco had escaped. Gabby must be the first one to notice he was gone by now.
He turned his attention back towards the moon again.
"You fucking piece of shit." Damn he was more drunk than he thought. "How does it feel like to have her there? Must be fucking amazing."
With all his might he threw the golden liquor glass, sending it swirling around in the air before shattering into a million pieces on the pavement far down below. It could hit someone's head and Draco still wouldn't care. His heart was already set into stone.
"You don't fucking need her. I do!" He screamed this time. "I need her here! Every day of every hour of every fucking second I need her here with me!"
Only silence greeted him. It should no longer be a surprise but it still enraged him nonetheless.
Ten years went by and it never gets easier. Not even a little bit.
When he finished lashing out on the earth's only natural satellite, he sighed and collapsed on the ground. The coldness of the concrete digging into his body.
His hands felt around for the bottle of wine he sneaked upstairs with him. "I just want her back."
The stars twinkled a bit and Draco couldn't help but smile somehow. He felt like it was her way of saying calm down, I'm here.
"What are you doing up there, my love? Are you well? Have you eaten?" He could imagine her lying right beside him, snuggling in close, complaining that it's too cold. Draco would discard his tux to drape it around her shoulders.
They would have been married by now, he would have made sure of it.
"Do you miss me? Do you see me?" More questions asked into the void. There was a sudden gust of warm wind blowing the hair away from his face, contrasting the dry air of the night. Draco liked to think that Catherine was giving him a reply.
"It wouldn't be a birthday party without the birthday boy." He could hear Astoria taking off her black stilettos and sitting right beside him. Her train of her black dress pools on the floor.
"You all are doing just fine without me."
"But you keep us in line, Draco. You always do." She looked at him with those pity eyes. Draco was used to that too. "Are you okay?"
Question of the fucking decade. "I will be."
"And when is that?"
When I see her again. When I'm in her arms and feel her heart beating against my skin. When I finally know that she's well and healthy and happy.
His friends are all used to his silence by now, filling in the blanks when they need to. Astoria placed her cold pale hand on his right shoulder, slowly rubbing small circles.
"We're here for you. I'm here for you."
He wanted to shrug her off, but he didn't even have the energy for that.
"I know." Draco replied instead. He really was incredibly thankful for all of them. Even though he doesn't say it enough, he hopes they all understand.
Even as her hands enveloped his lower arm, the coldness was ever present. It was one of his major problems that he can't seem to get warm.
Draco should have seen it coming. Astoria has been on him for quite some time, mostly since a year ago. Everyone had hinted, some even insisted that Draco should find someone else and somehow she was their favourite choice. At first he lashed out at anyone who tried to talk to him about it, but now he just let it slide.
Right now on the rooftop of Malfoy Manor, under the starry skies, Astoria Greengrass leaned in closer to him. She placed a hand on his right cheek pulling him closer to her, wanting to seal their lips.
With his amazing reflexes Draco grabbed her wrist roughly, then yanked his body back.
"What on earth do you think you're doing?" The anger dripped with each word.
"I want to help you." Astoria shrunk back, pulling away. "I can help you Draco."
"Help with what exactly?"
"Help you be happy." She tried to scoot in but Draco held his hand up. One step closer she may as well be dead. "Can't you see that I care about you? I want you to be able to forget about her and be yourself again."
"You better understand one thing," The still calmness made her eyes go wide, "I have no intention of ever forgetting her. I don't want to move on, there's no such thing as moving on when someone fucking dies you better get that right. Why would I move on from the love of my fucking life?"
Astoria opened her mouth but he didn't let her ruin this further.
"She is it for me. In life, in death and everything in between."
"Draco-"
"So don't bother trying. If you still want to be my friend then so be it, but don't expect anything more. Not ever. I love Catherine."
Astoria nodded and her gaze softened. She placed more distance between them. The silence was highly uncomfortable and he didn't give a damn. Draco should have made it clearer. He was able to make it clear for all the women that came into his proximity. There were some that he used, but no one made it that far. Every time someone else's skin was on him, he felt scorched and dirty. They were mere distractions and painkillers for his heart.
"You still talk about her in the present tense." Astoria sighed.
Because her love will forever be present.
"I hope that one day I will be able to experience that type of love. Earth shattering and mind-consuming." She finally stood up, holding her heels by her fingers. "Even though it's for a short period of time, you're incredibly lucky to have felt that, Draco. Some of us wait for a lifetime and still... we don't get that kind of love. Forgive me for coming in between."
She retreated back inside and Draco remained where he was. Missing his love, his Catherine. Life used to be too amazing to be true, but now it was too lonely to live in.
Theo appeared not long after. He was slowly becoming Draco's new favourite person despite his sass and questionable word choices. He was the only person who understood what it felt like and knew when to give him time to think.
"Does it get any easier?" Draco hated the crack in his voice. Theo snatched the alcohol from his hands and chugged it.
"I wouldn't say it gets easier. Just... tolerable."
"How do you do it? How can you live with it? Hell, it's been ten years and I still feel like I just saw her yesterday and now she's gone."
Theo stayed silent for a while. Draco could see the gears of memories turning in his head. He hated taking him back towards his grief.
"I just know that Evie..." he swallowed hard and his eyes began to water, "Evangeline wouldn't want me to end everything just because I miss her. And the fact that she's up there safe and warm makes me sane enough to live."
"How do you know she's okay? You can't see her."
"You just do." At his words, Theo smiles, "She's smart and kind and benevolent. I trust that they must have given her the best in the heavens. And when I see her again, everything will be worth it."
———
A high pitched bark, followed by excessive face licking awoke him. Draco cursed as the relentless puppy continued to attack his face. He was starting to hate his friends even more.
"Consider him an additional friend. Smalls will be thrilled to have a younger brother." Gabby giggled when she handed him the one month old Rottweiler with a red bow around his body.
Smalls was thrilled alright.
Major began to jump aggressively all around his chest and he groaned. For his small size he sure is strong. The slits of his eyes cracked open to the stream of sunlight. His hand hovering over the empty space right beside him.
The puppy was not giving up as he barked over and over.
"Okay I'm up!" He groaned. Smalls was still curled into a tight ball of sleep by the foot of the bed. It amazes him the boy could sleep through anything but bolt awake at the smell of bacon.
Draco went to check Major's food bowl and frowned when he found it full. But the dog kept on barking and ran out of the balcony.
"Major, get back here!" The balcony had holed on the railings and he could easily slip into. He didn't need more living beings dead in his hands.
But the dog just stood by the edge, barking at something down below. He turned to point with his head, as if he was trying to tell Draco about it.
Harry Potter stood at his gravel pathway, behind the Manor's gates. His shoulders tense and his face tired.
"I've been trying to get it for almost an hour." He called out when he saw Draco emerge from his room. "Would you mind telling your iron gate to let me in and stop screeching?"
———
Potter handed him the memorial invitation. This year it was a pale blue envelope decorated with golden writing. The Ministry seal was silver and Draco thumbed the edges of its logo. He comes to his place every year to give this to him. He flips him off every year and disappears.
"You're persistent." Draco placed the invitation on the marbled table. Major squirms uncontrollably in his hands, so he brushes the top of his head to keep him still.
"New friend?" Potter pointed to the mass of fur.
"You can say that." To think about it, Major added a new personality in the house.
Potter drank his tea agonisingly slow and Draco groaned.
"I'm not going so you can leave when you're done."
He sighed, "I know that. It's just wrong to not invite you personally, not when you've lost too much from that day."
Draco caught a glimpse of a golden band around Potter's ring finger as he raised the cup again to meet his lips. His heartstrings tugged tight.
"I guess congratulations are in order."
He smiled softly, "Thank you."
Gabby told him about it. They held a secret ceremony and no one was invited, which was probably for the best. He and Granger tried their best to keep contact with the rest but the Weasley family wanted nothing to do with them. The trio still worked for the Ministry just at opposite departments and different timings.
"I have something else for you."
Potter reached into the inside of his tux pocket and produced a black velvet box. He opened the lid and placed it right in front of him. At the sight of it, Draco placed Major down and commanded him to sit. He never listens to him.
"Maybe it could bring comfort? Or some closure? Klaison's family used it before. They say it helps..."
Draco just stared at the Resurrection stone. All of his muscles locked and he couldn't move. He refused to cry but his eyes were reflecting his tears.
He could see her again. For just a few minutes he could see her standing right in front of him. Her body, her hair, her smile. He could breathe in her presence.
Oh how he missed her.
His Catherine.
"I can leave you to it for some time." Potter started to leave but Draco called out his name.
Draco picked up the stone along with its box and handed it back to him. He shoved it back into Potter's hands and he flinched.
"I'm not going to do it." He turned his back and ran his hands over his face.
"It's up to you. But may I ask why?"
Draco hesitated, his brain second guessing. How badly he wanted to rip the stone from him and take control of it forever. He could easily succumb into the power, but he knew what was best and what Catherine would've wanted.
"Because the next time I see her," He imagined it a million times in his dreams, "She will be real and not just a figment of my imagination."