BreeAhn gave you a confused look as you reopened the door for her with a smile on your face then she obviously could not help but ask if everything was okay with you. An answer to which you responded positively before welcoming her inside and she gave you one more look of wonder before proceeded to get into your apartment in which she has been in, only two times so far in her life.
As she threw her eyes around, she could tell that nothing much seemed to have changed except the mess on your desk that looked worse than the one she remembered. "I assume you just got off from your shift and went to write right away again." She uttered having noticed the fact that the laptop was on and you just gave her an awkward smile, not intending to tell her anything about your shift that she did not even need to know.
"Take a seat, would you like some coffee? Ah, I have ordered breakfast for the two of us. I don't know if you have eaten yet though?" You ranted a bit, bringing up the breakfast for two to have a ready excuse in case the order was to come while she was still there.
"Say what?! She is gonna eat my share of the breakfast now?!" Jimin muttered to himself in the closet as he could faintly hear your conversation because you had forgotten your bedroom door slightly open and the sound could travel pretty well.
"You don't know that I never leave the house without eating? Of course, I have eaten." BreeAhn seemed slightly annoyed at you for the fact that you even dared to question something she had told you many times.
"Oh well, it's okay. I will eat it throughout the day then. I will just get you your coffee." You smiled and turned to walk to your kitchen, leaving aside her attitude that never was so great when it came to you.
"I don't drink coffee. Just leave it. "She threw her bag on the couch and finally took her seat, crossing her legs and her arms while her gaze travelled the place and you just turned back around, feeling slightly bad for once more you were failing to communicate right with your sister and have a good time for once.
You cleared your throat and scratched a bit your head before approaching her and taking a seat beside her, soon asking her about what was the reason that she came to see you since obviously opening any small talk with her felt as if it was bound to only make her more irritated and you more hurt.
"What? You seriously have no clue why I would have wanted to see you?" BreeAhn raised an eyebrow at you, looking as if she was getting more and more annoyed with you by the second and that expression make you hesitate to reply however since you had no idea why you could not help but state that.
"Ah seriously, you are impossible. The only thing you care about is the writing of your and your mother's death anniversary. All the rest of us might as well screw ourselves, for you would care none, right?"Her words felt like an attack and they sure well triggering enough to make you stand up before her and glare at her with a serious face.
"First of all, be careful with how you speak around me and second of all, I hope you know that you are my little sister but that does not give you the right to come looking for a fight. If you have something going on, just say it. I have no time for this." You surely didn't intend to be harsh towards her and you always tried your best not to, but there were times like these where she would cross a line and that would inevitably make you put her back in her place.
She only scoffed at your words then fell silent for a bit, making you exhale a deep breath before seating back down next to her.
"Dad's birthday is coming up."She finally uttered and your eyes grew wide for a moment, listening to that information as something new yet unwelcomed.
"So? What do you want me to do about it?"
"You have never wished him all these past years nor you ever showed up on his birthday celebration. Don't you think that you have kept this resentment towards him for long enough?" You felt heat rising inside your veins and travelling towards your brain at the thought and only of you actually doing such a thing. You got so mad that you couldn't help but stand up again and laugh a bit at the absurdity that she was requesting because you sure were aware that her words hid a request inside which you would rather die than take.
"He does not need my wishes nor my presence. He has his beloved daughter after all."
"You are his daughter too." BreeAhn stood up to be on the same level with you, as she was too now angry at the fact that you were denying your father just like that.
"He is my father as much as our mother is your mother but you referred to her as only my mother earlier. What makes you think you have the right to be looking mad?" You stared right at her, feeling the tension in the atmosphere rising.
"You are still on with this?! For how long will you keep defending the person that ruined our family?! "
"Look, I don't want to fight with you. So just leave it. I won't be coming on my father's birthday, not this year nor any other year. And please never think of trying to persuade me again because I am letting you know right now. It will never happen!" Your body language showcased your determination at that moment as your arm made a slash on the air like a sword that cuts down a block of wood in half.
"Okay, someone sounds too absolute and a bit loud right now," Jimin murmured to himself after hearing you and he couldn't help but open slightly the closet in search of some visual information of what was going on but of course from where he was he was not able to see you.
"Why do you have to be so...so! Agh!"BreeAhn literally screamed at you out of frustration before she turned around and grabbed her bag.
"I hate you! You and your stubbornness and egoism! Why just why can't one of you make me happy for once! Why don't you think about me?!" She accused you of things you were not expecting because you may have considered yourself stubborn but egoistic surely was not something that you thought you were especially when it came to her. The things you had done for her were far too many and the fact that she seemed to not recognise them at that very moment, made you feel as wronged as angry.
"I am always thinking about you! You are the one who is not seeing it!"
"Oh yeah, how? You don't even know what I like, what I drink, what I eat yet you are my sister. Can't you see that we are growing apart each year more? Can't you see that I too would have liked to be part of your life? Why? Just why don't you let your pride aside and come beg dad for forgiveness so we can be together as a family again?!!" She unleashed her thoughts in a rather loud and desperate manner, tears welling in her eyes that soon escaped her orbs and scrolled down her cheeks, making her brush them off in a quick way.
The frustration was showing in her eyes that were piercing yours with anger and desperation and you just fell silent understanding that this was just an outburst of pain. Emotions that she most likely has hidden within her for so long that now could not help but overflow like this. It hurt you, seeing her like that yet you could not bring yourself to open your mouth and tell her the truth. Because you cared for her and you didn't want to crash the image she had of your father.
Unlike the one you had, BreeAhn knew nothing of your father's affair nor the rest of his wrongdoings. She knew none of the lies he had told her about their mother just to make her seem like the bad person and you just never found the strength to shatter that image of hers because it felt cruel to take from her someone she loved. You knew the pain so you couldn't help but want to protect her from that yet you could see at that very moment how your care for her was hurting her in a different way. But what could you do? It was not like you wanted to have known either. You just did. That awful night with that curse of yours, you had discovered one more secret. One that destroyed the love you had for your father along with your trust in humanity.
"I am sorry Bree...I...I can try to be there for you more, I can try to find more time for you but that is only for you. Don't ask me something like that, because I-"
"Lies!"She screamed at you, cutting you off and making you jolt a bit in your place, finding her actions unexpected since you had surely tried to respond to her rather softly and with a low calm tone of voice.
"You will never do that! All you do is work and run after that stupid dream of hers! It's not even your damn dream! Just because she was pathetic and could never achieve it, it does not mean that you have to do it for her. SHE IS DEAD, SHE-" BreeAhn halted her words as soon as she felt your hand landing on her cheek and her eyes grew wide and silence followed after the slap as you both were processing what had just happened.
"I-Bree I am so sorry. I never meant to- "Your facial expression displayed how sorry you were as you rushed to take her face gently on your trembling fingers, your eyes getting teary as soon as you met hers again.
She pushed you away soon enough and just stormed out of your apartment, leaving with a loud thump of the door that left you breaking into tears as you took a seat on the floor, showing your head among your hands, in regret, frustration and guilt. For you surely never meant to hurt her but when she spoke like that about your mother and she said she was dead, something inside you got so triggered that you just wanted her to stop and that's how your body ended up acting on its own, leading you to slap her for the first time in your life.
It felt horrible. It felt like you had ripped a part of your heart and thrown it into the fire. It made you hate yourself to the point that you could not help but break into sobs as you hide your face on your knees and hugged yourself, not recalling that you were not alone in your apartment as you usually are. For if you had been in a clear state of mind, you would try to hide at least or control yourself till you were to be out of anyone view, yet this time you had left yourself freely dive into your emotions just like you would have done when alone and Jimin could not help but listen to those cries with worry for a bit, till he finally took the courage to step out of that closet and slowly approach till the door.
He just stayed and watched over you for a bit, contemplating if he should reveal his forgotten presence or it would be better if he did not. You sure seemed from the people that keep her emotions to herself and his presence may burden you. Maybe it would have been better if he was just to pretend like he fell asleep while in the closet and he saw nothing, however, the more he observed the more broken and alone you looked and that saddened him somehow.
You were lost in your own negative thoughts at that moment, feeling like the worst person on earth till you felt something warm land on the top of your head and that made you instantly look up, only to meet Jimin's face right before you.
He was looking at you with such a soft and tender gaze while you just took a moment to realize his existence and get in touch with reality again, thing that made you panic a bit, knowing that you were standing in such a state before someone. What was he to think? Was he to belittle you for it, like many had, was he to use it as a weakness in the future if needed, was he pitying or judging you right at that moment? The storm of thoughts left you regretting the second you forgot that he was in your house, yet he soon flashed you a soft smile, that brought your agonizing fears into a pause.
He patted your head softly once or twice then he brought his other hand and without a split hesitation, he brushed his thumb against your cheek, taking away your tears. A gesture so unexpected yet so warm, that made your chest get filled with a sense of warmth.
"I hope you don't always start your mornings like this because I will have to become a tear collector."He joked as he cupped your face in his hand and brought you a bit closer to his face, while you were still frozen, staring at his comforting gaze.
"It's gonna be okay. No matter how much it hurts now, nothing lasts forever. So cry now and be done with it. No one is gonna judge you. It's just me and you here." He uttered and that last sentence of his travelled in a loop in your mind exactly because it was just him and you. He was the extra one, he was just one more human among the many that you should not trust nor open up to yet he had made you feel comforted and safe at that very moment simply by putting himself alongside you.
He did not judge nor he compared your burst of pain to his, he in no way lowered your behaviour or tried to sell sweet lies to make it less important. He just stepped down to your level and spoke of a fact and that was it. So simple yet something only he had ever done so far for you and that fact itself surely had left you, speechless.
---To be continued...
Hello~~~
So this chapter is a bit long but I hope you don't mind. I will try to update tomorrow too because I wanted to gift you guys something before my birthday on Monday comes.
I will update other books too don't worry 💜
Alsoooo ~~
A beautiful reader of mine and a new writer on this app (feel free to check her out if you want) made a beautiful cover for this book.
Let's show a bit appreciation for her efforts~~
I am really thankful when you guys show your love in any way and I hope you know that I love you as much and more. You are seriously very important to me but maybe I will post my emotional thoughts on my birthday and get melo😂
Anywayyy here is her cover~
Made by 07stheticspresents
See you soon~
I hope you all are doing well
Don't forget to smile~💜💜💜💜