Mew rushed to the nearest pharmacy. He asked for fever reducing medicine first. This was easy.
Then he explained the next medicine with a little too much detail.
"I have a friend and he has a cut on his thigh, and it's inflamed. It hasn't been treated for a couple of days and I would like treatment for that."
"I suggest that you take your friend to the hospital." The pharmacist recommended.
"No." Mew flatly refused.
"It may not only be drugs that your friend needs. Self harming is a psychological issue and if not treated it'll become a detrimental habit. Your friend might encounter loss of blood and constant fevers. If the wounds are not effectively treated, infection might cause other diseases too."
"Can I have the medicine please?" Mew didn't need the consultation right now.
The pharmacist packed the necessary medicine for infection and bandages too. He asked Mew
if he needed anxiety pills and Mew said yes.
It was a lot more than Mew expected. He ran back to Gulf's home and found him groaning in pain.
He washed the wound with betadine just like the pharmacist advised after draining all the pus. He applied medicine on the gruesome skin neatly torn open but swollen shut. It was too much for Mew. The smell of flesh was disturbing but he did his best to treat the wound. After he was done he mixed fever reducing medicine with water and made gulf drink it. He covered a naked gulf with a light fleece blanket he found in his bedroom.
A few hours later Gulf woke up feeling weak. His head was on Mew's lap so when he turned looking around, he saw Mew sleeping facing the ceiling.
He was startled.
Why was Mew in his home? He sat up and the blanket fell from his naked torso. For a minute he got worried about having sex again so he looked down under the blanket and saw his underwear was still on but the dressing on his thigh looked different.
"Nong you're awake?" Mew asked with a yawn.
"What are you doing here?" Gulf asked covering himself.
"You almost fainted on the stairs."
"How did you know I was on the stairs?" Gulf asked looking around for his clothes.
"I followed you home." Mew was so cool about it.
"Phi," Gulf was not pleased.
Mew straightened up and faced Gulf, "Nong we need to talk." he said seriously.
"I don't need to talk to you about anything." Gulf was feeling self conscious.
"It's either you talk to me or you go see a therapist."
"My mind is working great thank you very much."
"You're self harming." Mew argued.
"That's invasion of privacy and I don't appreciate it phi..." Gulf said covering himself some more.
"You collapsed on the stair case. Nong. I brought you home when we were strangers did you think I was going to leave you on the stairs?"
"What do you want?" Gulf questioned.
"I want to talk to you."
"About what?"
"Everything." Mew answered.
"I have nothing to say to you?"
"What are you afraid of?" Because Mew could see the fear in Gulf's eyes.
"I'm not afraid of you if that's what you're asking." Gulf had to make it clear.
"Then why are you avoiding me?"
"Hope you still don't think we're boyfriends because that's been an act and I'm sure you know I used you to get back at you and my father." Gulf was being hurtful on purpose.
Mew smiled with gentle eyes, "I know. I know of all that and I'm still here wanting you to feel ok. I'm so worried about you. Ever since we had sex you haven't been the same."
"I don't want to talk about that."
"About sex?" Mew asked.
"Stop!!!"
"So this is about us right? Because we had sex?" Mew kept on pushing.
"Phi, please stop." Gulf pleaded. Mew had no idea how much he was suffering.
"I'll stop." Mew promised, "I'll stop but I'll ask you one thing first. I know we were drunk. You and I can't blame each other for that night but I loved it. Even though I was drunk I loved every second of it." There was no lie told.
"Phi," Gulf pleaded.
"Do you regret it?" Mew wanted to know.
"I.." do.
Why couldn't he say it? He did regret it because he was not gay.
"Nong, do you regret that night?"
Gulf held his head to stop the memories.
"Nong," Mew pushed and Gulf felt the pressure.
Gulf started to remember the memories of that night. He saw himself sitting on Mew, bouncing on his dick, whilst he held his chest for balance. He remembered pulling his own hair in ecstasy and looking at the ceiling whilst his hips moved smoothly for pleasure. He remembered Mew holding his hard penis and stroking it. He remembered getting overwhelmed by the pleasure so he went to kiss Mew right on the lips.
"Nong," Mew called out again as Gulf started looking around. He was looking for his bag. He needed more pain. He needed to cut again. He saw the backpack abandoned on the floor next to the front door and he went for it. The pain on his thigh had gotten better that's why the memories were getting clear. He opened it and saw what he looking for.
Mew was right behind Gulf grabbing Gulf's hand so he could safely get the blade away.
"I just treated your wounds and you want to do it again? Don't you feel sorry for yourself?" Mew was disappointed. The pharmacist was right. This was becoming a detrimental habit.
"Let go," Gulf struggled to get away from Mew. "Let go phi," he asked desperately.
"No I'm not letting you cut again." Mew kept on holding Gulf's hands. Gulf was weak so he couldn't do anything. He only struggled to wriggle free from Mew but with no luck.
"P'Mew let go," the tears were now present in his voice. "I need this please let go."
Mew was stubborn. He managed to get the blade away and he pulled Gulf back to the couch.
"You need to stop." He scolded him.
"No I need it." Gulf said getting up to approach the blade again but Mew pulled him back on the couch and back hugged him. Gulf was not having it.
He was now crying frustrated. "Let go phi I need this. I need it please let me get it."
"No you don't need it." Mew refused.
"Let go." He weakly elbowed Mews stomach as he tried to get up. Mew didn't understand. He didn't understand what he was going through that's why he was stopping him. "Let me go." Gulf screamed. "Let go please. Please let me go," He was becoming hysterical with each second and Mew was getting worried.
Gulf realized he was never going to get away from Mew so he he started scratching at the bandages.
"Nong!!!" Mew panicked.
"Aaarrgghhh." Gulf screamed tugging off the bandages to get to the skin he needed more pain and he was not going to stop until he got what he wanted or the memories were not going to stop.
"Stop!!!" Mew demanded. "Nong, you're hurting yourself you need to stop." He changed the way he was holding Gulf because his current hold on him it was not effective. He pushed Gulf down on the couch and sat on his his waist, hands pinned above his head. Gulf's screaming became worse. This too brought back some memories.
"You're ok. You're safe." Mew tried to comfort him but what Gulf was fighting against were the memories and the memories didn't want to stop. He kept on remembering everything.
His voice was becoming hoarse from too much screaming and Mew was worried someone was going to call the police from the noise Gulf was producing. He did what he thought would work.
He kissed Gulf to shut him up.
Gulf stopped immediately. He was shocked. Caught off guard.
Mew's lips were pressed against Gulf's until he was sure Gulf had completely stopped.
"You're ok," Mew whispered on Gulf's lips and kissed him again.
"It's just you and I here so you're ok."
Gulf couldn't stop tearing up as Mew kept on kissing his lips, whispering that he was ok.
His lips trembled too as he found himself responding to the kiss.
With each passing second he became bolder. His kisses became rougher. He grabbed on Mew's clothes desperately. He switched places with Mew and went on top of him. He was unbuttoning Mew's pants when Mew stopped his hands and instead pulled him in a hug.
" you don't need that right now" he whispered.
"Noooo," Gulf went for a kiss again and Mew kissed him for a minute but came out of the kiss.
Gulf followed his mouth for more but Mew trapped Gulf's head against his neck and held it there. Gulf took this opportunity and kissed Mew's neck planting hickeys.
"I love you." Mew confessed in Gulf's ears and Gulf stopped. He went limp on top of Mew and he broke down completely.
For the first time since Wednesday night, Gulf got in touch with his emotions and feelings.
He had been looking for what to feel and he felt it in that moment.
He was feeling lost.