"Where do you want me to start?" I asked, dropping onto the floor in the living room. My stomach was flipping nervously and I knew I just had to stick through it. Sarah would understand, I knew that. She's probably been through worse.
"Well, the beginning would be a good place." She said, sitting on the floor across from me and pulling off her shoes before folding her legs gently under herself.
I chuckled humorlessly.
"Okay, well, I was camping with my friends near a beach, and he drove up and struck up a conversation with us. I was sixteen, almost seventeen and he was a few years older. I was a real flirt then, but at the same time I was really innocent, now that I think about it. We flirted a lot, he spent some time with my friends and I. They were all really wary of him, waiting for him to do something wrong that would leave them to believe he was dangerous. I, on the other hand, was too caught up in the stories of travel and adventure. It was just something I couldn't figure. You hear these things and the only you can think is, I want that. I want to see the world in a different light. And he dangled that snippet of excitement and wonder in front of me." I frowned and Sarah remained quiet.
"He invited me to travel with him, of course I said yes, even though my friends told me it wasn't a good idea. What if he was a rapist, what if he was a drug dealer, all these different possibilities, but I didn't listen. Maybe if I had, I would have realized just how close they were in their accusations. He hadn't told me, but he was a drug dealer, selling coke and other hazardous things that could be the death of someone. That was how he got his money. I was stupid for not figuring it out sooner. One night, we stayed in a hotel, he hadn't told me where he got the money from, just told me it was better than sleeping in his car." I looked down, playing with my fingers.
"Anyway, He got a headache. I wanted to help him and I came closer, wondering if there was anything I could do. He snapped, shouting at me that he wasn't interested and to stop making a move on him. I denied it, saying I just wanted to help. He shoved me around a bit, I grabbed his jacket and ran out. I had to get away. He came and found me, apologizing profusely and telling me he loved me. He kissed me, then hugged me and told me he would never do anything like that ever again. I believed him." I shook my head to clear it from the negative thoughts.
"I really shouldn't have, he never gave me a reason to believe him. So I don't know what possessed me to go back to the hotel with him. Maybe it was because I had no where to go, or maybe he was that much of a smooth talker. He fell asleep, and I was awake most of the night, knowing things were about to get so much worse. About two hundred fights, twice as many drug deals, and gas station showers later, after another year, he said we should go to this party in the middle of the desert in Arizona, or Nevada, I barely remember anymore. It was Burning Man, the biggest party in the nation and he wanted to go. There were no age laws and drugs were rampid. We got there, and I was so frustrated and angry because he had been constantly flirting and making out with other girls for the past year. I gave him everything, but that wasn't enough. Even though we were kind of together, he still fooled around with other girls. It always tore my heart out. At Burning Man, he went off with some brunette and I was drunk. I started dancing with this guy, and nearly had an aneurism when I ran into him here, in Foster's Corner." Sarah was about to ask a question but I made a motion that told her to wait.
"I passed out, and when I woke up the next morning, nobody was there. I was dehydrated, hungry, and stuck there. I had to walk over ten miles to the nearest gas station and hitch a ride from a trucker. He wasn't even there when I woke up. I never heard anything from him for months. So I went to a place I knew he wouldn't ever visit, Foster's Corner. But now, he's here, just as I'm getting my life back together. I don't know how I should react. I'm sad, angry and feel like a love sick puppy. I don't even know anymore." I dropped my head into my hands and Sarah rubbed my back comfortingly.
"Who did you meet here?" She asked. I looked up and sighed.
"Evan. Apparently he helped me after I passed out but in the middle of the night I wandered off and he never saw me again." I said. She nodded.
"Did you remember him?" She asked. I chuckled.
"No. Until he told me he knew who I was, and that we'd met before. Then I knew." I said. She smiled.
"What are you going to do now that he's back?" I shrugged. I really didn't know what I was going to do.
"I don't know. I'm being torn in three different directions. Ignore him, run, or go back to him. I don't know why. I'm so messed up." I shook my head and Sarah frowned.
"No you're not. You're human. It's normal to feel so many different things all at once. You just need to ask yourself what would be the right thing to do." She said. I gave her a skeptical look.
"Since when did you become a shrink?" I asked. She laughed and I gave her a look that told her I was serious.
"I'm no psychiatrist, but that's what I would do if I were in your shoes. He had no right to come here. And he even had less of a right than that to speak to you after all he's put you through." she reasurred. I nodded, barely listening even though I knew this advice was probably the best I would ever get.
"What about you, Sarah? Why did you come to Foster's Corner?" I asked. She sighed, probably knowing these questions would come sooner or later.
"I grew up in a broken home. My parents were well off, but tended to fight a lot. My mother died when I was ten, and my dad began to drink a lot, rarely seeing a sober day. He became abusive when he lost his job due to so many absences. He took it out on my brother and I, so I ran. I came to Foster's Corner to change, you know, become someone different. I don't think I did so well, considering I just wore dark clothing and got a lot of peircings. I knew something was wrong that night we went to the party. I was getting high with Rage and you were off doing whatever it was you did, and we were making out, then he started to hit on another girl, and pretty soon they went off somewhere and I was all alone. You had left the party according to Jared, and I was all by myself. That was when I figured out that I didn't like being Ice. I wanted to be plain old Sarah Farms again. I just didn't act on it until a couple days ago." She said. I nodded, before giving her a hug.
"Well, it's all over now. We're just plain old Willow and Sarah." I said with a smile. She nodded.
"Didn't you hear, normal is the new awesome." She winked and I rolled my eyes.
"You want to order a pizza?" I asked, desperate to get our conversation back to a positive note. I had enough negativity for the day. She nodded before whipping out her cell phone while I went to the kitchen to clean a couple dishes to use.
Sarah's voice sounded throughout the house before I heard a knock on the door. I went around the corner, exiting the kitchen and looking through the peephole. I saw Jax's distorted face and I grimaced, I don't think I have it in me for another heart to heart.
Nonetheless, I opened the door and his serene face stretched into a wide grin.
"Hey," He began I smiled and nodded, feeling uncomfortable, even though it wasn't ever uncomfortable with him. Normally I would be myself, but after the emotional stress of the last twenty four to forty eight hours, It almost caused me physical pain to smile.
"I was just wondering if you wanted to go eat at Blue Moon Diner?" he asked. I grimaced.
"Uh, I can't tonight, I have a friend staying with me and she's had a rough day. We just ordered pizza." I said, shoving my left hand into my back pocket, feeling strangely guilty. His face fell the tiniest bit, but I still caught it.
"That's okay, do you want to have lunch with me tomorrow? I'll pick you up at school?" He asked. I gave him a genuine smile.
"Sure. We can do that." He grinned and then leaned forward, taking me by surprise before placing a kiss on my cheek. It was just a quick peck but it made my cheeks flush uncontrollably.
"Sorry. I hope that wasn't out of line." He apologized. My face turned an even darker shade of red.
"Uhm, no, it wasn't, uh." I was stumbling over my words and his grin just stretched even wider.
"I guess I'll see you tomorrow?" He asked. I nodded.
"Uh, yeah. S-see you then." I stuttered. He laughed and then turned, walking off my doorstep and then sauntering over to his motorcycle.
I closed the door and leaned agianst it, once again comparing my life to a soap opera.
"Who was at the door? That couldn't have been the pizza guy already, I just hung up with them." Sarah said, enterring the main hallway. My face was still red and I was still leaning against the front door. She looked at my face, at the door and then a slow knowing smile colored her face.
"Someone better start explaining." She said. I chuckled and the told her all about Jax.
"OHMYGOSH! He sounds perfect! Willow and Jax, sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g! First comes love, then comes marriage, then come a baby in a baby carriage!" She sang. I smacked her arm and we went into the kitchen, pulling out a couple of clean glasses and poured some water.
"So do you like him?" She asked. I shrugged.
"I don't know. Yes and no. He's a nice guy and is pretty cool, but the last time I jumped into a relationship too fast, I ended up abandoned in the middle of the desert." I said, sipping tap water from my glass. Sarah nodded.
"Point taken. But how would you know, unless you give him a chance. He's already accepted your past, so why not just try?" She asked. I downed the rest of the water and set it on the sink.
"It's not that simple, Sarah. Everything is up in the air at this point. My feelings, Ben, Evan, Jax. It's all just one huge mess that I'm still trying to sift through. It's kind of hard to have feelings for someone when they're all ready scrambled from somebody else." I said, leaning against the counter. Sarah nodded.
"I see your point. But you can't hide from people forever." She said. I nodded absent mindedly.
"I think I just need time." Sarah hopped up on the counter opposite from me.
"Understandable. You've been through a lot. Doesn't mean you can't go on a few dates." She winked and I laughed. There was another knock on the door and this time, Sarah answered it. Shortly after she came back in holding two large pizzas in her hands and a grin on her face.
"One large cheese, one large meat lover's, and a cute guys phone number." she waved a little white napking with the pizza place's logo on it.
The rest of the night was filled with jokes, and greasy pizza.
***
A/N So this one is a little longer and I also thought I take a moment to educate you all on what Burning Man actually is.
It's kind of a large art festival where people build sculptures and have booths and cart races and all sorts of stuff. There's also a lot of nudity, which I figured I should tell you in case you decide to google it. There is a lot of partying, alcohol and sometimes drugs. I've never been but a family friend of mine has. There's a picture on the side -----> that is when they set multiple sculptures on fire to end the festival.
I think that's about it. I love Sarah. ^_^ Vote, Comment, Fan and Follow me on Twitter! @JoLeeXD1.
See you guys next time.
Lotsa Love,
C