l e t i t g o t y l er , l e t i t g o
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picture: elsa
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"AUSTIN," I screamed, "YOU SON OF A COW."
My brother squealed like a little girl, running out of the kitchen quicker than I'd ever seen him run before. Yeah, that's right brother. Run. He better. Because when I catch him, he's going to be dead meat.
"I'M SORRY," he yells back, yelping as I start running off after him. He opens the front door, sprinting outside, only wearing socks and boxers in the soon-to-be middle of winter. Since Christmas is only a week or two away, it has started to get freezing cold here in Octavia.
"No you're not!" I push my legs harder to catch up to him. He's racing down the footpath, crying out in pain every time he stood on a rock like the sook he is.
Well, maybe he shouldn't have fed me that 'omelette' then and maybe he wouldn't have to be chased down the street while he runs like a headless chicken.
Austin stops, running out of breath. Ha, that's right. I jump onto his back, smacking his face and pulling on his ear. "You are dead," I growled. "Dead. Dead. Dead." I continued to tug even harder with every word.
By now, Austin is screaming in pain. It's only when someone pulls me off him that I stop my vicious pulling of the ear. "Nooooooooonononono, let me kill that fucktard," I yell as I get carried away from my dumb nugget of a brother. He's a dumb nugget, because he decided it would be funny to put five or so tablespoons of pepper in my omelette, not to mention the awful taste of pineapple laced throughout it.
If I could kill him, I would.
I would pull his ears off first, and then I would sew fingers onto his ears and ears onto his fingers.
That's how pissed off I am.
"Let go of me," I pound on Tyler's back. I know it's him. He has an all-too-familiar scent, and judging by the vans on his feet and his sexy butt, it was definitely my hunk of a boyfriend. "You're a dumb nugget. I want to kill him."
"Just wait," Tyler chuckles, "We can get some joint payback. Plus, Clark wants to get rid of his condoms so he's going to help us with the prank."
I perk up. Prank? Count me in. I knew one day that Clark would accept that he is a condom hoarder, and needs to get rid of some. He should be giving them to people who need it, or hand them around the school. But, knowing Clark, he would prick holes in them just to see the whole world burn. That's something my spastic best friend would do.
I stay silent, letting Tyler carry me with his sexy muscly arms. "I'm hungry," I fiddle with the back pockets on his jeans. I'm practically fondling his ass, but I'm not complaining. Girls appreciate butts too, okay?
Tyler adjusts the hold on my legs, "I'm thinking you cook me pancakes, bacon and eggs. In bed."
I gasp. "I'm not your kitchen bitch. You-you bitch!" I attempt to pull his pants down, but they wouldn't go down any further than my arms would, which was not very far. "Goddamnit Tyler, why can't I just pull your pants down?"
"If you cook me breakfast I'll let you play with my butt all you want."
"Hmm." How can I refuse that offer? "Sounds good to me. What about your parents and Elsa and Georgia, though?"
Tyler grunts. "Don't even go there. Georgia and Kenny are on their honeymoon, and mom and dad are attempting to have a romantic weekend away. This is their fourth one in the past two months. So, I have to look after Elsa."
Aw. Elsa. I love little Elsa, and the way he treats her is so goddamn cute. He's the most adorable big brother to her. I even caught him playing Barbies with Elsa one time.
"Don't deny that you don't love her," I poked his butt, "Because she is the cutest five year old I've ever met."
Tyler stays silent. He hates breaking his macho façade to admit that he does have feelings. Well, of course he does, but when it comes to Elsa. Yeah, he loves her so much.
Tyler takes me off his shoulder when we're at the door of his house. I turn around to see Austin running like a banshee back into the house, holding his ear with his hand and sobbing hysterically.
As I said.
Pussies.
"Now cook me some food," Tyler points to the fridge and the stove with both hands. "I'm hungry like animal."
I push him out of the kitchen, "Leave a girl to perform her magic."
I get to work to make my all-time-famous pancakes, shuffling around his kitchen to get all the ingredients I needed. Flour, egg, milk, sugar and vanilla flavouring. Once I finished throwing all the ingredients into the bowl, I whisked everything to combine, all the while turning the stove on and heating two pans up.
I'm a woman, I can multitask.
I put the bacon in the other pan once I finish pouring the batter in the other one. I flip the pancakes and bacon when they're ready, and do the same after I put them both on a plate with more bacon and batter. I crack some eggs and fry them exactly how I like them, cracking a tiny bit of pepper on them unlike Austin's devilish act.
I feel like a wife cooking for her beloved husband and child. Elsa and Tyler were both in the living room watching cartoons, so I call them over to the kitchen so that they can help me set me the table up. Once we finished setting the table up, Tyler sneakily squeezed my butt when Elsa wasn't looking. I fake glare at him. He smiles cheekily back at me.
"How's my favourite girl going?' I ask Elsa after I finish chewing my first pancake which was doused in maple syrup.
"Well –" Elsa starts, but Tyler interrupts.
"She's watched Frozen five times in two days," he deadpans, "It's an unhealthy obsession."
"Shh," Elsa shoves a hand over Tyler's mouth, conveniently shutting him up. See? She has him wrapped around her little finger. "I got a boyfriend," she smirks proudly.
I choke on my pancake.
Tyler chokes on his pancake.
"What?" Tyler almost growls. "You're five years old Elsa, you don't need a boyfriend. You're way too young for one."
"I'm with Tyler," I say sheepishly.
"Oh, it's alright," she waves her hand off like its normal that a five year old gets a boyfriend, "He doesn't speak much. I had to ask him to be my boyfriend, it was so daunting."
Elsa is going to rule the world. Enough said.
"N-no," Tyler splutters. He looked like he just kicked a puppy. "You wait until mom and dad hear about this."
"Oh, they already know," Elsa's smirk grew.
"So what's his name?" I ask her. May as well know a bit of details about the poor boy that has to put up with Elsa as a girlfriend. As much as I love Elsa, she's a big bossy-boots just like her brother. Heck, she is the reincarnation of Tyler.
"What are you doing," Tyler hisses in my ear.
"This is interesting," I chuckle, "She's just like you."
Tyler glares at his fork.
"His names Jayden," she gushes, "He's really pretty." I wince at the word 'pretty'. "He's got brown hair and brown eyes and he's really shy. But I don't care, because he's cute."
"Elsa, darling," I hold in the laugh, "Don't be playing him just because he's cute."
"When am I going to meet him?" Tyler speaks up. I turn to him with a surprised look on my face. "What? I want to know the boy who captured my little sister's heart."
Jesus, he's making my heart melt. Sooner or later, I'm going to have a warm heart.
Elsa finishes eating her last pancake. Maple syrup is all around her mouth, and there's a dab of it in her hair. It looks so sticky I'm sure she's going to have to have a shower again. "I know where he lives," her voice is so soft and cute, it's a surprise that she is the reincarnation of her older brother. "We go to the park together on the weekends. He's there now."
Tyler nods in thought. "I guess we can go see him?" He huffs reluctantly.
Elsa grins, "You're the best big brother ever."
I swear I saw Tyler smile at that.
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"That's him," Elsa points with her chubby finger to a boy playing on the swing set all by himself. He looks so cute and shy, sitting there with his hands tucked into his hoodie's pockets, sneakers scuffing the ground every so often. "He's so cute, hey Novy?"
Novy is the new nickname Elsa made for me. It's so cute. She's so cute.
"He is," I stop the laugh that wants to come out when I see Tyler fume, "You should go see him now," I wink. Elsa nods, hugging me and Tyler before running over to Jayden in a blur of purple and pink. Tyler and I had to give her a bath, and she insisted to wear her Elsa costume. But, since it was too cold, she had to wear a jumper over the top and leggings underneath.
Elsa jumps on the other swing, nudging Jayden with her elbow. He looks up, smiling at Elsa. The gesture nearly made me melt to pieces. He looked so lonely before, and now he's listening to everything Elsa is saying with an interested look on his face, nodding and smiling every time Elsa asks him a question.
"She's growing up," I sob to Tyler.
"Oh, stop it you." He face palms. " My five year old sister has a boyfriend. I'm supposed to be the one to warn them off before they even date her!"
I pull him into a hug, laughing into his chest while I clutch his hoodie in my hands. Tyler rests his chin on my head, letting out a deep breath. "Let it go."
"Oh, fuck you," he grumbles after I let out the Frozen reference. I burst out laughing again, tears threatening to come out of my eyes.
"C'mon, that was good!" I would give myself ten out of ten stars for that. "Just look at Jayden. He's so cute. I just want to hug him and poke his cheeks."
"Why don't you want to do that to me," Tyler pouts.
"Because you aren't fluffy," I retorted. "Speaking of which, you haven't lived up to your side of the deal."
"What deal?" He looks adorably confused.
"I cooked you food, now I need to get to play with your butt!" Who wouldn't? It's perfect.
What? I'm a girl. I have hormones. I happen to like butts. And abs. And faces. Okay, maybe I should say that I just like boys in general.
"Oh."
"Yeah. So can I touch it?"
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It wasn't long before Tyler and I were playing on the monkey bars like complete dorks. We were in the middle of a game of who can stay upside down longer than the other, when Tyler pulled my hoodie down so that it went over my head, making me fall to the ground and lose. It wasn't really a far distance, not even twenty centimetres considering how tall we are.
"Goddammit," I cuss as I pull my hoodie back down. "You're a dung nugget."
"A dung nugget now?" He chuckles, getting down from the monkey bars effortlessly. "I thought I was booger boy?"
"Right." I roll my eyes, "You're every insult in the book."
Tyler gasps. "You hear that?"
"Huh?" All I can hear is Elsa yapping away like a cat on acid.
"That's the sound of my heart breaking into tiny little pieces."
Dung nugget. "When are we going to prank Austin?" I change the subject. I haven't done any pranking in a while, and I needed to expel my anger immediately. I would purge, but that's highly illegal.
Tyler shrugs, "I've got to take Elsa to the babysitter in half an hour, so straight after that. Want a piggy back?" I launch onto his back, throwing my arms around his neck and wrapping my legs around his waist. "Hurry up Elsa," Tyler yells to his little sister who is still talking.
I love Elsa. But Jesus that girl can talk when she wants to.
Elsa pouts, hugging Jayden goodbye before racing over to us. Jayden looks lonely and depressed again, and I just want to run over and cradle him like a little baby. Elsa wasn't lying when she said Jayden was cute. Because he is, for a little kid, he's adorable.
"Am I going to Jenny's?" Jenny is Elsa's new babysitter. Tyler and Elsa's parents arranged for Elsa to go to Jenny's for a few hours each day this weekend so that Tyler could have some downtime. After all, this week had been full of exams. Horrible, horrible exams.
We drop Elsa off at Jenny's making it there in just enough time so that she wouldn't glare us down like a rabid animal. "Do you know where Clark lives?" Tyler asks as we pull out of Jenny's driveway.
"Yeah," I nod, "47 Hodgkin Road, a few blocks down."
We arrive at Clark's house in a matter of ten minutes, some rap song blasting from the stereo. It wasn't my cup of tea, but it was catchy so I couldn't help but bob my head to the beat, just like Tyler who was tapping his hands on the steering wheel.
I barge in Clark's house without knocking. When Clark and I were dating, I never had to worry about knocking or ringing the doorbell since I was such good friends with his parents that they didn't give two craps.
Clark has two moms, Lana and Elizabeth. They're the nicest women I've ever met, and they're so funny. They like making fun of Clark to the point where his cheeks are so red they look like they're about to blow up like a bomb.
"Nova! I haven't seen you in forever," Lana says from the kitchen. The kitchen looked like a hurricane had gone through it. With plates and trays and flour all over the place. "Don't mind the mess, Clark has been begging me to make him cookies. But, I can't get them right," she gestures to the overflowing bin.
There's like five hundred cookies in there.
I laugh, shaking my head. "Nice one Lana. We're just going upstairs to see Clark," I gesture to Tyler who was standing behind me. "We'll have to catch up soon!"
Lana hums in agreement, waving goodbye.
I climb the flight of stairs, taking a right and opening the first door on the left. Clark is sitting on his bed with his headphones in and a ... raunchy magazine in his hand.
"Playboy, really Clark?"
Clark jumps, ripping out the headphones from his ears. "Jesus," he puts a hand on his chest, "You scared me."
I snort out a laugh, "Okay, big boy, get the condoms out."
'Finally, about time you had sex with me!" He smirks.
"No," I say flatly.
Clark rolls his eyes, leaning under his bed to grab a huge shoebox. He rattles it with a demonic smile on his face.
"Ready to prank your dearest brother, Nova?"
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double update.
whut.
yes,
i did.
i hope you liked this chapter! elsa is so cute! and tyler!
goals:
380 votes
140 comments
is tyler the best older brother or whut?
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thanks for reading nuggachos and don't forget to vote and comment xoxo