Taking several deep breaths in to calm her breathing, Naomi pushed one foot infront of the other, into the hospital.
She didn't mind hospitals, but she definitely did find them intimidating when you didn't know whether it was going to be good news or bad news when you entered from when you left.
But today wasn't really about good or bad news, it was about answers. Answers from someone in particular, Sebastian.
She had chosen to see him, not because she missed him or anything, but because she wanted answers. She'd wanted them from back in first year, answers for everything - why he was so perfect and then it all came crashing down because of one mistake - well not mistake, but unfaithful act, why he had that sudden burst of anger and thought it was okay to hurt her physically. Did he always have this anger, had he hit other girls? Why he told Theo that they had slept together when they hadn't. Was he truly a good person and that was just one mistake?
Room 2283, this is it
Knocking on the door, she waited to hear that oh so familiar voice, which made a wave of anxiety flow through her.
Taking a deep breath, she held the door handle down and pushed the door open.
I can do this...Just breathe
As she walked in, she could hear the repetitive beeping of the monitors, displaying Seb's vitals. She could see the body of the boy she once thought was amazing. And she saw his green eyes staring right back at her.
He looked the same, but just more pale - probably due to him being kept in the hospital so long for detoxing.
Yes, his drug abuse got that bad that the hospital knew they needed to keep him in for longer to stop him from killing himself with all the alcohol and drugs he was repeatedly putting into his system to feel numb.
"Nomi?" Seb questioned, believing his eyes were deceiving him, as she nodded her head, stepping further into the room on wobbly legs, wincing at the nickname that fell from his lips
"You came?" He asked, shocked as his eyes followed her to the end of his bed
"We came" Theo corrected, stepping into the room behind Naomi, not missing the immediate frown on Sebastian's face as soon as he realised she wasn't alone.
How could he leave Naomi alone with him, when he quite literally saw Seb's heart skip a beat when he saw Naomi. No, literally, on the monitor for his heart, it skipped a beat at the sight of Naomi. He clearly still liked her, a lot.
"Theo" Seb nodded towards him, being cordial infront of Naomi, knowing not to start anything considering he was the reason he was in hospital in the first place
"Sebastian" Theo stated, also being cordial for Naomi's sake
Naomi couldn't help but feel suffocated by the macho competition between the two boys. The testosterone was basically swarming the room.
"Seb" Naomi called out, getting his attention away from Theo, not missing how this felt like back in first year when he had caught her and Theo in the laundry room together when her feelings first started to get messy.
Seb smiled at her still using his nickname.
"You still call me Seb?" He smiled
Naomi looked away from his eyes as she had to gulp down the sob bubbling up in her throat at the fact that he was acting so normal with her. That he seemed almost happy that she still called him Seb. Almost as if he still had hope for the two of them being together again.
"Seb, what did you want to talk to me about? At the fair?" She asked, completely ignoring his last question because it was merely habit. In no way her and Seb were friends.
"You still call me Seb, I can't believe it" He repeated, smiling even wider
Naomi closed her eyes briefly, exhaling to calm herself down as she could tell this was going to be a harder conversation than she anticipated.
She hated how he smiled at her. That same smile she once found so cute and made her like him, but now it was just a reminder that he wasn't who he said he was.
She was just about to answer him, when she felt the comfort of Theo's hands on her hips, guiding her to sit down. She accepted his embrace with a small smile as she looked at him, sat on his lap in the hospital chair opposite Seb.
"I'm here the whole time, okay" he whispered into her ear as Naomi nodded, turning back towards Seb
"I call you Seb because Sebastian is long, don't get ahead of yourself, we are not friends, now can you answer my question of what you wanted to talk to me about at the fair?" She asked calmly, focusing on Theo's hands on her waist as she leaned further into his touch, not missing the irritated look on Seb's face at the sight of them together
"Can you at least stop sitting on his lap whilst talking to me" Seb answered, once again dodging Naomi's questions
"I-"
"She'll sit wherever the fuck she wants to and if that just so happens to be on my dick, then accept it and fucking answer her questions" Theo interrupted, growing annoyed at Seb thinking he was going to get Naomi to feel sorry for him
Naomi watched how Seb narrowed his eyes at Theo, glancing over at her to see if she would move - causing her to tilt her head to the side, waiting for him to answer her question as she had no intention of moving.
Huffing out of frustration, Seb sat up in his hospital bed, getting comfortable. "I-I wanted to apologise to you, I wanted to say sorry for what happened last year. I just got so angry that you had ended our situation even though I was trying to help you. I liked- I like you so much, and then I found out you were kissing Theo behind my back, and for all I knew you could of been seeing him behind my back the entire time"
"Is that all?" Naomi asked as seb looked at her with pleading eyes, nodding. "You fucking hit me Seb. You punched me in the face, infront of my friends. You called me a 'worthless bitch!'" She exclaimed, closing her eyes to calm herself down - trying not to give him the satisfaction of seeing her shed a tear infront of him, "I just want to know why, why you thought that was okay. Why you thought that raising your hand to me because I had done something to you that I felt so guilty for was okay. Why did you do it Seb?" Naomi asked, feeling the strain in her voice to stop herself from crying as she realised how much Seb had damaged her trust after that
She didn't want to forgive him, that wasn't why she was here, but she just wanted something, anything to make her understand how he could just switch on her so easily. Did he always feel like she was 'a worthless bitch'.
"Because like I said, I was angry. I was angry because would you have ever told me. Would you have ever told me you were cheating with that dickhead?" He asked looking at Theo
"Imma let that slide since I did kiss her when you two were together but that doesn't mean you can hit her" Theo mumbled, "But she didn't cheat on you, I kissed her. You saw a picture and bombarded her with questions - raising a hand to her before you got actual answers, you're a horrible person and you need to admit that"
"So then where were you when I hit her then, huh? If you like her so much, why didn't you protect her? Oh wait, you were too busy shagging Charlotte" Seb snorted knowing that Naomi probably didn't know that through her slightly raising her eyebrows
"Don't bring up my regrets, as if the moment you had just gotten back from hitting Naomi you didn't shag Charlotte yourself...God, you love making me seem like the bad guy, Seb admit it you hit her. You hit her and you don't feel remorse - you're just upset that she left you, you're upset that everyone now knows and refuses to be friends with you because of it. You hit Naomi because you're a fucking disgusting human being and you thought that you had the right to lay a hand on her. And then you had the audacity to laugh whilst I beat you up - saying that you knew, that you knew the entire time that me and Naomi had feelings for each other but you wanted to, and I quote 'fuck it out of her and have her crying out for you and your dick'" Theo shouted, holding onto Naomi tight, trying to not let his anger get the best of him
Naomi took a sharp inhale at what Theo had just revealed that Seb had said to him about her when he beat him up the first time. Theo had never mentioned that. Even though he hated seb, he still didn't want him to look worse in Naomi's eyes.
Seb knew about my confusing feelings but didn't question me, or bring it up? He-he wanted to use me, he just wanted to sleep with me to get there before Theo...
"Oh but she loved my dick, didn't you Nomi" Seb smirked, licking his lips as he shamelessly scanned over her body - remembering exactly what she looked like without her clothes covering her
"Stop, just stop the pair of you. I came here today to...I don't even know, I thought I wanted answers, I thought I would get something out of this, like, I don't know - closure? But now, it just shows me how much we didn't talk - me and you" she directed to Seb, realising how much Seb was a wolf in sheep's clothing, "How I perceived you as such a good guy but in reality you just wanted me to yourself. God, how was I so stupid, the red flags were there - the fact that you got me a fucking necklace with your initial on as a claim to you when we weren't in a relationship, the fact that you had a private conversation about our situation status infront of Theo to piss him off and show that you had me - not him, the fact that you never fucking left my side when we went out together because you didn't like me talking to other guys - even if they were just friends, the fact that you touched me when we were in public - infront of my friends - to get a rise out of Theo and embarrass me even when I said stop" Naomi listed off her rushing thoughts, connecting the dots of how once upon a time she didn't see any faults in Seb - and now she realised he never listened to her, he was controlling and he was clingy, manipulative and didn't voice his opinions
"If you knew, if you knew me and Theo had something, why didn't you just tell me?" She asked as Seb stayed silent, just watching her
"Seb answer me!" She cried out, wanting an explanation - wanting some clarity on what she did to deserve all of this. Why she always chose the wrong guys.
Yes Naomi knew she had technically cheated on Sebastian with Theo at the party when Theo kissed her, she wasn't denying that or playing victim in any way, but she had felt extremely guilty for it and even stopped Theo despite her very clear feelings that night. She had gotten herself into a bad state of mind and refused to see anyone because she was so filled with guilt and seeing anyone's faces would be a reminder of the bad person she felt like she was.
And then Seb came and knocked her door and everything was just happening so fast, him apologising for going off with Ollie and Elijah that night, him trying to kiss her to accept his apology, and she just needed space. She needed to get away and he couldn't understand that it was hurting her so much to see him when she couldn't stop thinking of another boy so she ended things. She ended them in a bad way - through shouting and an argument, but it needed to be done and then he came back, he came back with the picture and hit her and she just wanted answers. She wanted an explanation of why her, why did he feel like it was okay to do that to her, when they were both clearly hurting. Why didn't he say anything about her hesitation in her feelings in the first place if he knew his anger over Theo could get so bad he'd hit her.
"Naomi" Theo mumbled into her neck, trying to calm her down, "I don't think he's got anything else to say - I think we should just go" he told her , noticing that Seb had become silent for a while now. He stared at them as if he was looking right through them, but Theo could still see the fire and anger brewing inside of him.
"Fine, let's go" she swallowed, knowing she wasn't going to get any answers out of Seb. He tried to play the victim act but it wasn't working and then he resorted to blatantly being rude and giving her the silent treatment because he didn't have an answer other than his anger.
Anger shouldn't result in pain, and especially not pain being inflicted on others physically.
"Oh and here" she whispered, placing his hoodie and 'S' necklace from last year at the end of his bed.
God was she tempted to burn the hoodie and throw away the necklace, but she needed closure. Everything last year was so messy and she couldn't get her head straight and she didn't want to potentially piss seb off more by throwing away and burning his stuff, so she kept it. She kept it deep, hidden in the back of her wardrobe until the day came that she knew she could get rid of it and today was that day.
"You can-"
"No, don't you dare say you can keep it because that hoodie is a reminder of you being so good to me but the moment I did something wrong, something which I felt so guilty for, so I was ignoring you and even ended things with you because of, you raised your hand to me. And don't even get me started on the necklace, I was a pawn in your sick game, yes you may have liked me - but fucking hell, a necklace with your letter and not even telling me why you got it for me. It was like you were claiming me"
"How can you say that when I see that anklet. That very expensive anklet that no doubt Theo got for you how is that any different?" He nodded towards the anklet clasped around her ankle over her socks, above her Jordan's
"It's different because it doesn't show that I'm his, it doesn't show that he's claimed me, it's something which reminds me of him when I'm nervous, when he's not there. There's a reason for it and he gave it to me, and he explained the reason"
"Well good luck to you two you'll need it because clearly Naomi here can't keep her legs closed" Seb laughed bitterly as the couple turned towards the door as he watched Theo's hand on the small of Naomi's back
"What did you just say?" Naomi asked, looking back at him - daring him to repeat it
"I said you can't keep your legs closed, you were clearly opening them easily for him when we were together. Aye Theo who's to say she didn't already open them for some other guy?" Seb chuckled
"Baby ignore him" Theo gritted out
"You know what Sebastian I hope, I genuinely hope you get better and get out of this sick mind of yours where you thought it was okay to hit me and then make all these comments about how you wanted me for yourself when you couldn't confront me about my own confusing feelings, because I don't ever want to see another girl in your arms, feeling worthless and pathetic because you told them so. Because they made one decision which they felt so guilty for that you felt like you needed to do that. That you felt the need to knock them down not only with your hands but with your words"
"Yes, I technically cheated and I felt fucking terrible for that, but don't ever try and slut shame me!"
"Oh but you liked being called my slut, didn't you? Theo did you know that, she used to moan louder whenever I called her my dirty little sl-" Seb smirked, which was quickly wiped off of his face as Naomi marched up to him, slapping him
"Don't ever talk to me again, stay the fuck away from me you sick fuck" She exclaimed, quickly turning around to walk out of the room, not waiting to hear Seb say anything else
Naomi rushed out of the hospital all the way back to Theo's car, not even checking if Theo was behind her because she felt like the place was suffocating her.
Getting into the car, Theo found Naomi in the passenger seat staring out the windshield with a blank expression. "Baby, you okay?"
"You're not a slut, don't listen to what he says - I know you aren't a cheater, I'm the one who kissed you and I'm sorry for starting this all off, leading to him hitting you" Theo apologised, feeling guilty for knowing that if he never kissed Naomi that night and Charlotte didn't take the picture, she never would of been hit by Seb
"I-" she started, just not sure what she even wanted. Not sure if she should of even came today, "it's not your fault" she reassured, taking a moment to breathe and stop the tears which threatened to spill from her eyes as she continued to stare out the windshield
"And it's not your fault that he hit you. Don't ever look down on yourself baby, you're not worthless, you're not a bitch and you're not a slut" Theo stressed to her, wanting her not to get into her head about everything Seb said
"This isn't your car" she pointed out, changing the subject from the shitty confrontation she just endured after she had notice the significant difference between Theo's Audi and this new matte black Range Rover last night but didn't confront him about it
"It is my car" Theo disagreed
"No it's not, I may not know a lot about cars but i sure do remember Ollie saying your other one was an Audi and I've been inside of enough and know enough about this car since they're my dream car to know that this is a Range Rover"
"Baby, I have two cars. I changed them when I went home because I actually bought this one myself at twenty when I earned enough money from working with my Nonno. I didn't want to keep anything my father gave me so I left the other car. I like this one better anyway - the windows are tinted in this one, plus I had more room for my stuff and I like privacy" he smiled at her changing the subject, knowing that she was okay but she just needed a bit of time to recover from the confrontation and didn't want to talk about it
"Oh...it's just that, I prefer the old car...you know, it's memories" Naomi hinted at their heated moment of sex in the backseat which she enjoyed thinking about everytime she got into the old car, but he was allowed to change cars if he didn't want anything to do with his father
"Don't worry..." Theo smiled, "I'm sure we can make more memories" he winked, placing his hand on Naomi's inner thigh, "Remember, the windows are tinted, no one car see what I'm doing to you, you don't have to be afraid of someone seeing next time" he whispered
"I'm not going to lie you looked sexy as hell when you slapped him in the face" he admitted, wiping away a stray tear which fell down her cheek - which he knew was from everything that just went down
"I hate you" she whispered, smiling as she looked at him - knowing that even in such a shitty situation he still got her to smile
"Prove it" he smirked, replicating when they first slept together
Climbing over the car console, Naomi straddled Theo's lap as he looked at her with raised eyebrows, not expecting her to do that but wasn't complaining. "I hate you" she smiled, as his hands settled on her ass, "I hate that we work so well despite how messy we are" she giggled, running her fingers through the back of Theo's head
"We'll always work - we're us, as you like to say" Theo smiled, leaning forward to kiss her