xxxvii.
"i'm sorry."
jungkook's hand fell to his side, awkwardly scratching his skin nervously, making it turn red in color as he looked down at the floor. "for kissing you back there. i don't know what came over me."
he finally averted his eyes towards her own, them making eye contact for the second time after the event that happened at the pool a few hours ago. "i'm sorry. i shouldn't have done that."
strangely enough, minjee felt a pang in her heart when he said that sentence. it felt suffocating to her and she was washed over with the feeling of disappointment, but couldn't understand why. it made her curious as to why these things only happen when she was around jungkook.
"do you regret it?" she found herself muttering a question which was heard by him from the lack of noise in the kitchen. the voices of their friends were muffled but she could tell there were only a few voices left.
"no, i didn't regret it," he whispered, seemingly afraid of what she would think of him if he said it out loud. hearing his sentence, minjee's tight pain in her chest vanished and she felt weird feeling these new emotions. "i wanna apologize for the sudden kiss."
the atmosphere went silent and it was a mix between awkwardness and relaxation.
"that's okay," minjee retorted, walking over to sit on the kitchen stool by the counter. jungkook followed, his body shifting to face her. the girl struck a straw through the opening of the chocolate milk, sipping the cold liquid and savoring the sweet taste spreading inside her mouth.
"do you... regret it?" jungkook threw her question back at her, biting his lips anxiously as he patiently waited for her answer. "do you regret kissing me— no, do you regret me kissing you?"
the girl stared at him as she blinked slowly. from her lack of response, he was afraid she wouldn't like it and began mentally scolding himself on why he couldn't hold back his hormones. he was starting to look like those couples he saw in the school hallway at high school.
"no," minjee replied and made the male's negative thoughts evaporate into thin air. "i —it was... special for a first kiss," she blurted whilst mumbling the last part, instantly covering her mouth. "i mean our—"
"it was mine as well."
minjee looked at him in disbelief, not believing that she was his first. she thought jungkook would have had partners before considering he was a good-looking guy and many would fall for him, lining up to confess their undying love.
"i wasn't interested in romance during high school," he scratched his head awkwardly, feeling lame. "i'd rather focus on my studies."
not knowing what to do or say, she nodded her head quickly and went back with sipping her milk. the chocolate milk was still half-finished. unlike her roommate, yoona, minjee took her time with savoring dishes and drinks.
"well, that was until you came into my life," jungkook added and she looked at him innocently, listening to each and every one of his words. seeing this, he continued, "i hope you don't mind me telling you this but... "
the male rubbed his hands nervously, debating on whether he should confess now or act like he never said anything before continuing with his lonely life. but he wanted her to know how he feels and even if minjee won't feel the same towards him, at least he tried, right?
now he knows how those girls from his high school felt when they were confessing to him, only to end with him turning them down and telling them he wasn't ready and looking for a relationship. it was nerve-wracking and he felt guilty.
"i like you."
he confessed and minjee's breath hitched, her eyes widen like saucers at his confession. "i know we only met for six months but i couldn't help it. you can reject me if you want. i just wanna let out my feelings, but i hope we can stay friends after this," jungkook grinned, forcing himself to smile.
minjee opened her mouth to say something but her words were stuck in her throat. she opened and closed it multiple times and jungkook found this adorable, he reached out to hold her hand in his, slowly caressing her skin.
from then on, he decided that if he can't be with her, the least he could do was stay by her side and watch her fall for someone else, being happy with them. at least he can see her smiling and that was enough to satisfy him. he will learn how to move on and eventually wait for his right one to come.
"but i don't want you to feel obliged in answering. i don't want you to— i just don't want you to feel like i'm cornering you to answer me and—"
there was no denying that choi minjee was jeon jungkook's first love. but like the movies always say, first love doesn't always work. he wanted to change that.
"jungkook."
upon hearing his name, he snapped out of his trance and blinked, staring at her. minjee pursed her lips before she sighed softly. her gaze moved down towards their hands and she squeezed it in which jungkook returned the favor.
"i want to..." she started, "i want to like you too. make me fall for you."