Harry and I went to meet Digby and the second we saw him it was painfully obvious how hungover he was.
"Hey." I smiled and sat down.
"Is it sunny in here boy?" Harry asked somewhat mockingly at Digby being sat (inside) with his sunglasses on.
"I would stand up but I can't. I am struggling mate." Digby admitted.
"How are you doing, boy?"
"Yeah, I'm alright." Digby took his sunglasses off. "I've been going out so much."
Harry chuckled slightly. "It looks like it mate."
"Oh, mate, I've had so much fun these last couple of weeks." Digby grinned.
"What have you been up to?" I queried.
"I've been to Ibiza, it was unbelievable. How are you guys?"
"Yeah, we're good." Harry nodded.
"You guys have been away haven't you?"
"Yeah, we went to Hawaii which was surreal." Harry told him.
"Obviously I'm Croatia, you and Sammy, what's happening there now?"
"I don't think, like, the trust will be there as much as it was but, yeah, we're boys, we're... we've moved on from it, like..."
"It's nice to be able to have my best friend round the house without having to worry about any tension." I added.
"So you've put everything to bed?"
"Yeah." Harry confirmed.
"That's good, mate, that's good."
"How are you feeling since Croatia?" Harry asked.
"Um, yeah, mate, I mean..."
"Have you spoken to her since?" Harry followed up.
"No, nothing mate."
I was quite surprised. "Not a thing?"
"Not a thing." Digby half shrugged. "The emotional strain that girl has put me through is ridiculous. No bloke would take that. She blocks me on Instagram. She deletes every picture of me on her Instagram."
"It's to make life easier." Harry explained. "Not just for her but for you as well, mate."
"Mate, she sacked me off." Digby reminded him defensively. "That's the reaction I should be having. She's the one who's broken my heart."
"I know, mate, I know and it's so hard." Harry sympathised.
"She's shown her true colours. You know? Yes, it hurts, yes, it still hurts and... I can't switch emotions off and I do still love her obviously."
"If you focus on yourself, do what makes you happy, that is the best way to move on." Harry advised.
"I don't think you should go on, go as hard as you have been going." I told him honestly.
"Yeah." Harry agreed. "I know it does sort of distract you but don't do thing to try and get her attention, don't do things to, like-"
"Mate, I'm not trying to get her attention, I'm not, I don't..."
"Come on. You are, I think."
"Harry, I promise you, mate, I am not trying to get her attention at all, I'm just doing me, mate, I'm just getting on with my life."
"I think the best thing now for the both of you is to just cut all ties and move on and then you can be happy." Harry said.
"Yeah."
"Breakups are always fucking brutal." I stated. "It will rip you apart for a long time but it will ease and then you'll move on and it will just become some distant memory."
"I just wish it wasn't such a long time." Digby sighed a little bit.
Harry went on a boys night out while I went for drinks with Habbs and Liv.
"It's so good to be back together guys." Habbs smiled and then nodded to Liv. "And to have you back finally in the old smoke."
"I know, I've been hiding."
"You've been a hermit crab, hibernating." Habbs joked.
"Literally." Liv laughed. "No, I've been just hiding. It's actually so nice to be back in London."
"Did you have the pleasure of seeing the video of Sam eating someone's face?" Habbs questioned sarcastically.
"I did." Liv laughed slightly.
"I saw pictures and Sam told me about it."
"Yeah it's just unacceptable behaviour and he's been grovelling so much, I actually, he-"
"You can't take him back for one second by the way." Liv said definitively.
"And the whole world saw it, I'm sure."
"What's wrong with him? I love Sammy, he's my best friend in the world but he's a complete fucking idiot." I shook my head slightly.
"I question it myself."
"Are you fully repulsed by him?" Liv asked.
"There is no way back but I feel like repulsed is so mean but it is quite repulsive. Yeah, no, I saw him, like I can't... I'm sorry." She almost got emotional.
"If you ever get weak, just watch the video again." I joked.
She continued. "I saw him in the park and he'd bought me a very sad looking orchid. Not roses but an orchid."
"Did you say to him: Sam an orchid's not going to cut it this time?" Liv wondered.
"A car? I mean..." Habbs half joked.
"So, wait, how have you left it now?" I asked.
"I literally just walked away and was like: I don't wan to fucking hear it. Because he was just chewing my ear off, monologuing at me as to why he's in the right and I caused him to do this." She explained. "And he was like: but you never do anything for me. I ordered him this bonsai tree for his new house when I was in Spain and it arrived today."
"That's actually such a sweet thing to do though." Liv commented. "You need to now get back out there, though, and meet some other guys and give Sam a taste of his own medicine."
"Yeah. Just enjoy yourself." I told her.
"He seems to be enjoying himself." Liv added.
"Yeah." Habbs looked to Liv. "So we're now both single."
Liv then changed the subject. "So earlier, I did a naked photo shoot. Well I was covering my bits."
"I can't say much I did it the first time I met you." I laughed as I remembered the shoot that lead to Liv and I becoming friends.
"Why did you do this?"
"Honestly, I'm not entirely sure, Ollie Locke convinced me to do it. He was sort of like: oh, you should embrace all this stuff. I mean, it's a load of bollocks."
"So you did this to liberate yourself?" Habbs concluded.
"Basically, Ollie's come up with this thing call a me party." She told us.
"Trust Ollie to come up with something so unbelievably narcissistic." I laughed.
"Is that a thing?" Habbs looked confused.
"Don't worry, I've never heard of it either. Anyway, I will be exhibiting my nude photographs at this party."
"I bet you'll look amazing in them, as well- you are looking great." Habbs complimented.
"Thanks Habbs."
"You do look great." I agreed. "What is it? Like, the breakup revenge body? That's it."
Habbs nodded. "In full force going on right now."
"Have you actually seen Digby?"
"I haven't been in London."
"I mean, he has really upped his social media game." Habbs told her somewhat hesitantly. "Do you think he's doing it to get a reaction from you? I mean he's probably failing because you've blocked him but..."
"I don't really know. It's just weird because when we were together he'd never go out either."
I grabbed my phone because Harry had texted me. He said that Digby was on the night out and was posting about it. I opened up Instagram and looked at his story.
"Harry just texted me about their night out and talk of the devil..." I held my phone out so they could see the video.
Liv looked like she was holding back tears. "I dunno, I just find it really hard seeing stuff like that."
I waited for a moment. "Do you miss him loads or...?"
"Yeah, massively, massively." She answered with no hesitation.
"He just wants a reaction from you."
"He wants you to see it." I agreed with Habbs. "Why see do you think he's like: oh, yeah, I'm doing a shot!"
"It's just hurting me. It's just hard- do you know what I mean?"
"It's normal." Habbs reassured her. "That's hurting you and obviously feeling haven't gone, like, you obviously do still care about him so much."
"No, massively, yeah. I massively still care about him."
"I'd be more worried if you didn't." I mumbled slightly.
"I still, you know... like, seeing that video I find so hard and I... seeing him in really life, I know would he even harder, like, I've really struggled with all of this and I don't want to see him because I am worried that I'll get upset and all those feelings will come back." She paused. "I just want to avoid him at all costs."
Harry and I went out for drinks with Sam and Jamie and it was quite nice because it was just really chill.
"So Miles mentioned that he's moving in with Habbs and Emily Blackwell. That's going to be so much fun." I said sarcastically.
"That's a fun house." Jamie chuckled. "Wait, so Blackwell's back on the scene?"
"Blackwell's back in town, yeah." Harry nodded.
"Did you get butterflies?" J joked causing him and Sam to have a proper good laugh.
I held my middle finger up with a small laugh. "No he didn't."
"Jamie's just, like, literally... Jesus Christ." Harry couldn't help but chuckle.
"Or that feeling of: oh my god, I haven't seen her in a year." J added and we all burst out laughing.
Sam then piled on. "I bet you were just peering through the curtain."
"Oh my god this is so exciting." J said mockingly. "And you're like: Bella, fuck off."
We all laughed even more.
"No, but anyway..." Harry started when we'd all calmed down a little. "No, so it was quite funny, actually. Miles said to me that Emily said you feel feel threatened by her."
"That I would be threatened by her?" I repeated back confusedly.
"Yeah."
"Are you threatened by her?" Sam asked.
"Let me think, am I threatened by the girl my boyfriend dropped for me?" I pretended to think. "No, I don't think I am." J and Sam burst out laughing yet again and I turned to Harry. "Wait, she said it like that?"
"Well that's what Miles said to me."
"I think you should definitely speak to her and sort of, like, figure out what was said." Sam suggested. "Cos otherwise it might be Miles over exaggerating, it might not be."
"I'm not the one with the problem though. I tried to have a nice conversation with her last year and she was so fucking nasty to me."
"But you should, like, do something, if you see her next, just be like: oh, you're 33. Harry's number 33. He told me that." J said. "Say something like that, like, really cutting."
"That would make her 34." Sam pointed at me.
"Which is even more cutting." I laughed.
We all took a minute to laugh.
"She was the one that got nasty last time, I didn't care then and I care even less now. The thing is, she's moving in with two of my best friends. Next to Sam, Habbs and Miles are my best friends so I can be civil with her at least. It's pretty much up to her. I'm not gonna be a bitch but if she wants to be..." I shrugged.
I walked into Liv's garden party with Harry, Habbs and her plus one, Tom. Liv's photos actually looked amazing but they were bloody huge. It was a little bit awkward when Digby showed up.
I eventually ended up running into Emily. "Hey. How are you?" I greeted her politely.
She had an obviously fake smile on her face. "Good. This is probably Harry's worst nightmare, me and you talking again."
"Really?"
"Yeah."
"I don't want there to be an issue because I've honestly never had an issue with you." I told her. "Do you, like, still have an issue?"
"No, I wouldn't call it an issue, my issue is with him completely. Like, I have no respect for the guy. I don't think he's a nice person, obviously you do. I have said, like, that I do feel a bit sorry for you. You have to live with him."
"Oh, Emily." I sighed. "Miles has been saying that you've been saying other stuff like I should feel threatened by you."
"Threatened by me? No, he asked me if I... he was like: are you threatened by Arabella? I said: no, if anything, she's be threatened by me because it's never nice when you're in a couple with someone and then your ex, like, comes back onto the scene."
"He also said that I'm vetoed from the flat- that you said that."
"Well I don't really know... well yeah, I did... no, to be fair, I did say that." She admitted.
"That's, like, a bit much."
"Why would you want to come? Like, why would you and Harry want to come round? You've got your house."
"Yeah, but Habbs and Miles are my best friends next to Sam. Did you not know that?"
"Yeah, well, I'm not going to stop you from coming in the door. I'm not gonna be like: no, get out."
"When I'm hearing stuff like this, I'm just like: oh my god, that's fucking horrible. Do you know I mean?"
"I would just feel uncomfortable."
"Well, that's fine. But I don't want you to feel sorry for me, like, that's just weird."
She smirked slightly. "I can't help that. That's how I feel, sorry." She laughed a little. "Anyway, enjoy the rest of your day."
"Thanks, you too. Bye." I turned and walked off. I actually went and found Miles. "On dirait qu'on n'aura pas de soirée pyjama dans ton nouvel appartement." (Looks like we're not gonna be having any sleepovers at your new flat.)
"Oh mon Dieu, que s'est-il passé?" (Oh god, what happened?)
"Emily me faisait juste me sentir vraiment bizarre et mal à l'aise donc je vais probablement rester à l'écart." (Emily was just making me feel really weird and uncomfortable so I'm like, probably gonna stay away.)
"Je suis désolé. Pour être honnête, je ne savais pas que vous aviez un problème. Je n'emménagerais pas avec elle si je le savais." (I'm sorry. To be honest, I had no idea you guys had a problem. I wouldn't be moving in with her if I knew.)
"Je n'ai pas de problème avec elle." (I don't have a problem with her.) I corrected. "Je n'aime tout simplement pas être avec des gens qui ont manifestement un problème avec moi." (I just don't like being around people who very obviously have a problem with me.)
He nodded understandingly. "Je suis désolé et tu sais que tu es le bienvenu où que je sois, quand tu veux." (I am sorry and you know you're welcome wherever I am, whenever you want.)
"Ouais, je sais et je l'apprécie vraiment mais je pense que ce serait mieux pour moi de l'éviter autant que possible." (Yeah, I know and I do really appreciate it but I think it might be best for me to just avoid her as much as possible.)