well it was nice reading all the guesses last chapter and some of y'all actually half-guessed some events that would happen
———
Ever since Yeji realized that she wants her own baby, she has kept her distance from Ryujin because of guilt and fear. She doesn't want Ryujin to know that she's been right all along so she keeps herself busy with work and with helping Jisu every once in a while.
Ryujin doesn't question Yeji about the sudden distance. She knows what's happening – she was there at the hospital to witness the longing and tears in Yeji's eyes when the baby grabbed her finger – and she's letting Yeji process everything on her own until the woman's ready to talk to her about it.
She's sad, that much she can't deny. Expecting something to happen and actually having it happen to you are totally different things. Now that the signs of change are here, she starts to feel anxious, wondering how to cope with life without Yeji albeit temporarily.
As usual, she drowns herself in work, picking up her interest in animation to distract herself. She even considers enrolling formally in an animation school because school life would surely keep her busy for a few years. She would do it abroad, somewhere far from Korea to keep her mind off of Yeji.
Their friends notice the change and when Yuna and Chaeryeong come over to visit the baby, Jisu uses the opportunity to talk to them about it.
"Now that this one's asleep, update me on the other two babies," she tells the two, whispering while inching away from the sleeping baby on the bed.
Yuna and Chaeryeong are sitting on the carpet next to the bed with a bowl of chips, fruits and other snacks between them, courtesy of Jisu's husband. The man has knowingly left the house after serving the snacks so his wife can relax. Besides, he, too, needs a break from the exhausting baby care so he's using the opportunity to hang out with his own friends.
"Ryujin unnie's constantly mellow and down these days," says Yuna. "She tries not to show it but I know her too well."
"I thought she wanted Yeji to have a family without her?"
"That's what she said but we all know better. Trust me, Unnie, you will never get used to the pain of heartbreak no matter how long you live," Yuna says to which Chaeryeong nods.
"It hurts as badly as the first time you got your heart broken," adds Chaeryeong through a mouth full of chips. "Especially if you love that person very much."
"Then why is she insisting on letting Yeji go?"
"She loves her too much," answers Yuna. "It's that simple, really."
"But a bit masochistic, don't you think?" replies Jisu.
"Yes but I guess sometimes you do dumb things to make your loved ones happy."
"I'd rather call it sacrifice," says Chaeryeong. "As hurtful as it may be, I admire Ryujin unnie for her courage. Besides, behind that masochistic act, there's the confidence that Yeji unnie would come back to her and they'd spend the rest of their lives together. Isn't that admirable?"
"I guess so," Jisu says, pausing when she senses her baby moving. The sleeping baby girl makes a funny face, wiggles a bit but then resumes sleeping peacefully so the three women also resume their talk.
"Has Yeji unnie talked to you about this?" Yuna asks Jisu.
Jisu shakes her head. "I plan to talk to her about it though. She's been mellow and quiet too which is very unlike her."
"I think she feels guilty. She was so convinced about her choice before your daughter was born," Chaeryeong says.
"She can still be convinced. I mean, like I told Ryujin unnie, you'll never know with technology. They can have a baby together. All they have to do is wait," replies Yuna.
"But how long will it take?" asks Jisu.
"I don't know but does it even matter? They have time and each other on their side. It's just a matter of patience."
"The problem is whether she has that patience and how long she'd be able to wait," quips Chaeryeong. "That's Ryujin unnie's biggest worry. That's why she wants to let Yeji unnie experience it now, to get it out of her system, so to speak."
Jisu takes a piece of fruit from the bowl and starts eating it. "I'm torn in this matter," she says. "I understand Ryujin but at the same time, I know Yeji. That girl is the most determined person I've ever known. If she says she could do it then I believe she could. Then again since we're talking about a very long period of time, probably more than a lifetime, I don't know whether she'd be able to do it this time, to be honest."
"Same with us. I thought it was best to stay neutral but Ryujin unnie wanted us to talk to Yeji unnie and persuade her to change her mind," Yuna tells Jisu. "And to make things worse, Yeji unnie also asked for our advice."
"We're stuck in the middle," adds Chaeryeong.
"How long did it take you guys to get over that urge or that desire to have a kid?" Jisu asks the two tall women.
"More than a lifetime for sure, Unnie, and it never really goes away even after that."
"So I was right. It will take a very long time. If Yeji grows impatient and leaves Ryujin..." Jisu can't finish her sentence. It would be too cruel on Ryujin and she just can't imagine the pain especially considering her past.
"Do you think she'd do that?" Yuna asks with a very worried expression on her face.
"Not the Yeji I know. She's the most loyal friend anyone could have but, again, I don't know what immortality can do to a person. What you see and what you experience would inevitably affect you and change you, am I right?"
Both Yuna and Chaeryeong nod simultaneously.
"That's why I'm worried," concludes Jisu. She turns around to check on her baby. "Every time she comes to visit and play with this little one, I can see her eyes twinkling. I know she wants one of her own too."
"It's natural to feel that way. I just hope she'd talk to Ryujin unnie about it. I want them to find a solution that won't be too painful for the both of them," Chaeryeong says.
"I guess we'd have to wait and see. But do talk to me if you notice anything. I can't get out much so I need to rely on you two to update me," Jisu tells Yuna and Chaeryeong.
"You got it, Unnie."
———————
Ryujin steals a glance at the quiet woman walking next to her and squeezes gently at the hand she's holding.
Yeji turns her head when she feels the squeeze. "What is it?"
"Nothing."
Yeji slows down and leans over to kiss Ryujin on the cheek, making the latter smile.
They continue walking through the park, the one near Yeji's apartment. It's their fourth anniversary and they've decided to go on a stroll before dinner.
There are families, children and pets at the unusually crowded park. It's as if everyone from the neighborhood is out on that bright summer afternoon.
They walk past mothers with babies and Yeji always smiles at each one, sometimes complimenting the baby or asking the mother about the baby's age and name. She even asks to hold one of the babies, a particularly cute girl who seems to like her back judging by her adorable smile.
Ryujin notices everything. Whenever Yeji remarks about how cute a baby is, Ryujin would agree and smile, adding a compliment or two of her own.
It's been two months since Jisu's baby is born and Yeji is still keeping her distance from Ryujin, still feeling guilty about her feelings.
"I love you," Ryujin suddenly says.
"I love you too," replies Yeji. "You sure you're okay?"
"Yes." Ryujin stops as they approach a bench, sits down and pulls Yeji to sit next to her. "I think we need to talk."
"What about?"
"The future, our future. Kids-..."
"I thought we've gone over this," interjected Yeji.
"Yes but we've never talked it through. Let's talk it through now. Please," Ryujin says.
"What's there to talk about?"
"A lot. Look, I'm not going to force you to do anything you don't want to do. There's no use for that anyway, you're too stubborn," Ryujin says with a small smile. "And I'm thankful, grateful that you love me so much that you're willing to go this far. But take it from me, it's better to live without what-ifs because your life is going to be a very long one. The more you let it stack up inside, the worse you'd-..."
"The worse I'd react when it gets too much," Yeji finishes Ryujin's sentence. "You're afraid that I'd explode one day and walk out on you. I know that. You've told me that many times and every time I would tell you that it's not going to happen. Why can't you believe me?" asks Yeji in an irritated tone.
"Because I've been here for over four hundred years now and I've gone through what you've gone through."
"Not everyone is like you, Ryujin."
"Yuna and Chaeryeong went through the same thing too. All immortals go through the same thing."
"Let me rephrase that. Not every immortal is like you or Yuna or Chaeryeong." Yeji sighs, turns her body and cups Ryujin's face gently. She looks her in the eyes and says in a soft tone, "You three have gone through it so why can't you let me go through it on my own? Do it my way? I swear, I won't hurt you. I won't leave you. Should it become uncontainable or irrepressible, I will tell you and we'll find a solution. Together."
Ryujin places her hand over Yeji's. "Again, I admire your determination, and forgive me for sounding like I'm better than you, but I've been through it, Yeddeong. We all are. It's not a quick or easy thing. It's better if you do this now than later."
Yeji withdraws her hands and frowns. "So you want me to leave you, have a family with someone else, wait for them to die on me then go back to you?!"
"Sshh..." Ryujin puts a finger to her lips. "Not so loud," she hisses, looking around the noisy park.
"Answer me."
"That's not exactly what I want."
"That's exactly what you want," retorts Yeji. "You're so selfish and mean."
"I just want what's best for you!"
"Then let me decide how I want to live my life!"
"I don't want you to get hurt!"
"Wrong. You don't want you to get hurt. This isn't about me. This is about you."
Ryujin opens her mouth to argue but she can't say a word. What Yeji just said struck a chord although she wouldn't admit that the woman's right.
"Some anniversary this is," mutters Yeji as she stands up and continues walking, leaving Ryujin at the bench.
Ryujin sighs, stands up and follows Yeji. She walks up to her and gently slips her hand into Yeji's once more. "I'm sorry. Let's talk about this some other time."
"Let's never talk about this again."
Ryujin says nothing. She doesn't want to agree yet she also doesn't want to keep arguing on their anniversary.
Their dinner is quiet and a lot less romantic than their previous anniversaries but at least they don't argue anymore.
Ryujin stays over at Yeji's apartment that night. At first, they just watch TV together in the living room with Yeji's head on Ryujin's lap. Then Yeji feels sleepy so she gets up, turns the TV off and pulls Ryujin by the hand.
"Where are we going?" asks Ryujin as she obediently follows Yeji.
"Bed. I'm sleepy."
"Okay."
Yeji lets go of Ryujin's hand and climbs onto the bed. She pats the space next to her when she sees Ryujin standing next to the bed, not moving. "Come here."
Ryujin slowly crawls over to Yeji. "Let's add another tradition," she says as she gives the woman a peck on the lips.
"What tradition?" Yeji wraps her arms around Ryujin's neck and pulls her down until their foreheads touch. She closes her eyes, etching the moment in her mind. The feeling of Ryujin's warm breath on her face, the touch of their skin against each other and the way Ryujin slowly eases herself onto her.
"We don't argue on our anniversary. Ever. Not even over small things like what we're going to eat."
Yeji smiles and opens her eyes when she feels Ryujin lifting her head. Their eyes meet and they take a moment to just stare at each other.
"We'll have our own family, Jinnie. One day. You'll see," Yeji says.
"What if we can't?"
"It doesn't matter."
"It does."
"No more arguing. We just agreed on that."
"But-..."
"Instead of thinking about some future heartbreak that might never happen, why can't you see that I'm here, now?" pleads Yeji. "With you."
Ryujin takes a deep breath and cups Yeji's face. She realizes that the woman has a point. It's better to just enjoy the moment instead of arguing or thinking about something uncertain and painful. "You're right."
"And it's our anniversary so let's just..." Yeji tilts her head and kisses Ryujin softly, ending their talk. Her actions are slow and gentle but firm at the same time. She tries her best to focus, to not think about anything else but Ryujin. She doesn't want to imagine leaving her for someone else just for the sake of fulfilling that longing inside.
Yuna and Chaeryeong said that it would go away, eventually. I'd learn to get over it soon enough. I'm sure of it.
That night is the first time that they've ever made love that slowly. Both hesitate every now and then, slightly distracted by their thoughts and fears.
Afterwards, Yeji finds herself awake, going through every possible scenario in her head regarding her future with Ryujin.
The words of her father echo in her mind. He was so convinced that she would hurt Ryujin, that she would leave her.
Why won't anyone believe me? I'm young but that doesn't mean that I don't know what I want. I want to spend the rest of my life with Ryujin and if that life turns out to be seven hundred years instead of seventy years, I still won't change my mind. I'll never change my mind.
She moves her head, watching the sleeping Ryujin next to her.
The room is dark save for a crack of light coming from the window behind her, seeping through the curtains that aren't closed properly. It illuminates Ryujin's milky white skin, drawing Yeji closer.
She observes Ryujin's features, admiring every curve. Her finger hovers over Ryujin's skin, tracing her arm up to her shoulder, collarbone and stops near the small silver heart-shaped pendant. It's the necklace she gave her for her birthday a few years ago.
Suddenly, an idea strikes her.
I will prove myself. I will show you that I keep my promises. I will be yours forever, Jinnie.
Yeji carefully touches the silver pendant, holding it delicately between her thumb and index finger, then waits a moment to make sure that Ryujin's still asleep.
"I'm binding myself to you," she whispers. "Regardless of what happens between us, I hereby swear that I will always love you and be there for you whenever you need me. For eternity."
———————
"I'm thinking of going back to school."
Yuna looks up at the sound of Ryujin's voice, pausing from putting dog food into the waiting Dubu's bowl. "What did you say?"
"I'm thinking of going back to school," repeats Ryujin as she opens the fridge to find something to eat.
"What happens to 'good morning'?"
"Good morning. What do you think?" continues Ryujin. She takes a cup of yogurt out of the fridge and decides to get some cereal too.
Yuna pours the rest of the dog food into the bowl, washes her hands then picks up her mug as she watches Ryujin fix herself breakfast. "I always support education but why the sudden decision? How was your anniversary celebration?"
"It was okay and this is not a sudden decision. I've told you that I want to get into a different kind of art. Animation, to be exact," replies Ryujin while pouring cereal and milk into a bowl.
Sensing that it's not just about the desire to learn, Yuna observes Ryujin for a second then asks, "Where are you going to study then?"
Ryujin shrugs. "I don't know. My research so far shows that some of the best animation schools are either in Europe or Canada. There are a few in South America as well."
"Isn't there any good animation schools in Korea?"
"There's one or two but they're way below the European or Canadian ones. I might need your help with the documents and academic background preparation. I also need to contact our acquaintances." Ryujin starts eating her cereal, all the while avoiding Yuna's eyes. Her best friend knows her well and she doesn't want her to analyze her – although it's inevitable, she knows.
Yuna calmly places her mug on the kitchen counter. "You're running."
"I am not."
"You are," states Yuna matter-of-factly. "You're afraid of a future that might not happen, you know that, right?"
"You're the brain here. You know that the chance of my fear happening is almost 100%."
"Almost, Unnie. The keyword here is 'almost'. There's still that small chance of it not happening. Yeji unnie might beat the odds. Why can't you just wait till then? Why are you running now? Aren't you happy with her? Don't you love her?"
"More than anything else in the world."
"Then why are you doing this?"
"Because I don't want to deprave her of the happiness she deserves!" Ryujin sets her bowl down harshly, surprising Yuna. Even Dubu has stopped eating, jerking her head up. The white dog is now staring at both humans with an uncertain look in her eyes.
"I can't be left behind again," continues Ryujin in a much calmer tone. "I knew this would happen, okay? And I'm ready to face the consequences. Just... help me. Please."
"You're making a big mistake, Unnie."
"Maybe so but if this is what it takes to make sure she's mine for the rest of my life then I'm willing to do it. I don't want to lose her later so I'm letting her go now before it's too late," argues Ryujin. "It's only temporary anyway."
Yuna straightens up. "I stand by what I said. You should give her the benefit of the doubt and spare yourself the unnecessary pain. Let her decide what she wants to do with her life," she says as she leaves the kitchen with Dubu following close behind.
Ryujin loses her appetite so she pushes the bowl away and goes upstairs to take a shower.
———————
Jisu shakes her head. "I can't believe she's considering leaving," she says as she pats the baby's back softly, trying to put her to sleep.
"Me neither," Yuna says. "But she said it would be better than to be left behind again. She said that she's letting Yeji unnie go temporarily so she could have her forever."
"I get the logic but it still sucks," remarks Chaeryeong. "She knew this would happen, right? I mean, Yeji unnie is young and there would be uncertainties..."
"Yes."
"Then why the sudden drastic measure? Just wait until it happens and then reacts."
"Like I said, she doesn't want to be left behind again so she's taking preventive measures, so to speak."
"But it's ridiculous!" Jisu exclaims, frustrated. The baby in her arms squirms at the sudden increase of volume and she quickly hushes her back to sleep, pacing the room. "Should I warn Yeji?" she asks, whispering this time.
"I don't know. Nothing's changed, so far. For all we know, Ryujin unnie was just considering the idea of leaving the country. If we warn Yeji unnie now, she might be worried for nothing and she could feel terribly guilty. I don't want to put her through that or add yet another thing for them to argue about," says Yuna. "They've been doing that too much as it is. I kinda miss the old cheesy, lovey-dovey them."
"I agree with her," adds Chaeryeong. "Let's just keep an eye on Ryujin unnie for now. If she starts to act suspicious, we'll go tell Yeji unnie to kick some sense into her."
——————
Ryujin looks up when she senses someone approaching her table and stands up, greeting the man politely.
"Oh don't be so formal," he says as he sits down and orders himself a drink.
"You look exhausted, Oppa," Ryujin says after the waitress has left.
"That's what babies do to you," he replies with a grin. "I don't mind though. She's so adorable! Anyway, what brings you to this side of town?"
"I have a huge favor to ask."
"Oh?" He raises his eyebrows. "What kind of favor?"
"One that you might have to keep secret from Jisu for a few months."
"Uh-oh. I don't like the sound of this. Please don't get me in trouble with my wife?"
"Don't worry, she will find out sooner or later."
"Will she be angry at me after she finds out?"
"Err... I'm not sure, honestly. I hope not. You can tell her and Yeji that I made you do it. I'm sure they won't be angry at you."
He furrows his brows and leans forward, lowering his voice. "What are you up to, Ryujin?"
"Your friend, Sangjin oppa. Does he still like Yeji?"
"W-what?!"
"You don't know?"
When he doesn't answer, Ryujin knows that he knew. "You knew. You just didn't expect me to know."
"I've been keeping a close eye on him. I told him that it's not right, that Yeji's taken and that you two are happy together."
"Thank you for that. Now can you please answer my question?"
"Why do you need to know?"
"Please, Oppa? Just answer me. Does he or doesn't he?"
He takes a deep breath, looks away and says in a small voice, "He does."
Ryujin nods, clenching her jaws. The thought of that man and Yeji causes a painful sting to her heart but she keeps her facial expressions under control. "Okay then. Here's the favor I want to ask you. Can we arrange an accidental meeting or something? You, him, me and Yeji."
"What are you talking about?" he asks, flabbergasted by the sudden and strange request.
"Let's stage a meeting. For example, you and him are at a full restaurant, sitting at a table for four. Yeji and I are also going to have dinner there but there's no more table available so you ask us to join you."
"What the-... What drama is this? What are you doing, Ryujin-ah?"
Before Ryujin could answer, the waitress returns with his drink so she waits until the woman has left before she speaks again.
"I might have to leave soon," she tells him. "But nothing's fixed yet so please don't tell this to anyone. Not even Jisu. She'd tell Yeji and I'd get beaten up," she tries to joke.
"You're leaving? Where are you going?"
"I'm not sure yet. Anyway, someone has to take care of Yeji while I'm away, right?"
He finally gets what Ryujin's trying to do and firmly raises his hand, pointing his finger at Ryujin, surprising the latter. "Do not do this. You're leaving her?!" he hisses. "She's like a sister to me, you know. If you hurt her-..."
"I would never leave her or hurt her."
"Then why-..."
"I'm giving her a chance to be happy."
He puts his hand down and frowns. "She's happy now, isn't she? With you, I mean."
"She can be happier. At least for this lifetime. She can be happy with me later, for the rest of her life."
"You're talking nonsense, Ryujin."
"I'm not. Please, Oppa?"
He shakes his head. "No. I do not want to take part in this unless I have Yeji's direct permission."
"But that's impossible!"
"Then it's not going to happen." He takes a sip from his drink to calm himself down. "Look, Ryujin, I don't know what you're thinking or why you're doing this but trust me, leaving her and pushing her towards someone else is not the solution."
"It's just temporary and it's for her own good."
"Have you talked to her about it?"
"Yes."
"And?"
"She doesn't agree with me."
"Then why are you still sneaking around behind her back like this?"
"Because she's young, Oppa." Ryujin takes a quick look around and leans forward in her seat, lowering her voice. "I'm over four hundred years old now. I don't want to sound arrogant but I do know better. I've seen and experienced a lot. I've been through what she's going through and the only solution for it, the one solution that can guarantee that we can be happy for a long time, is to fulfill her longing now."
He takes a moment, trying to understand Ryujin's reason and intention, and exhales when he still doesn't get why Ryujin's doing this. "Ryujin-ah, I might not have your experience but here's what I know. You want to spend the rest of your life with her?"
Ryujin nods.
"That means you're going to marry her, am I right?"
Ryujin nods again.
"Then why are you giving up before the fight? My mother told me that a perfect marriage is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other. There is no guarantee but if the two people are willing to fight for what they have, to commit to each other and never give up, things will work out just fine. Why can't you do that? Why don't you fight for her instead of running away?"
"Because this is one fight I can't win," says Ryujin with a weak smile. "I can't give her what she wants."
"Did she tell you that?"
"Of course not. She's too kind."
"Or maybe she just doesn't feel that way."
Just then, his phone signals an incoming message so he takes it out of his pocket to check it.
"Ah darn it. I have to run," he says. He pockets his phone, sips his drink and takes out his wallet. "I'm sorry, Ryujin. I can't help you. I won't be able to do you that favor." He puts a few bills on the table and looks at her. "I suggest you reconsider your plan. I won't tell my wife or Yeji about it but I sincerely hope you reconsider it. Don't hurt her, okay? Fight for her."
Ryujin nods hesitantly and watches him leave the small café.
———————
A man in a hoodie walks out of his car, crosses the street and goes into a small alley. He enters a very old and humble restaurant, sits down at the furthest table at the back and glances at the owner who's busy in the kitchen.
The owner soon comes out, places a bottle of soda on the man's table and an empty glass.
The man in the hoodie puts a thick and large brown envelope on the table, next to the soda bottle, and pours the fizzy liquid into the glass.
Not long after that, a woman of short stature appears at the door and goes directly to the table, sitting across the man.
She takes the envelope, opens it and starts sorting through the papers inside, nodding every now and then. "Perfect," she says. "And fast."
"I got paid well," he remarks before finishing his soda. "Everything's set. You'll be safe even if they decide to do a background check. All you need is your English proficiency test results."
The woman nods. "Got it. Remember to keep this from the other one."
"Sure. Good luck." He stands up, places a single bill on the counter near where the owner's standing and leaves without sparing anyone another glance.
———————
A couple of months have passed with no more mentions from Ryujin about her intention to study abroad.
Yuna is relieved and so are Chaeryeong and Jisu. They'd like to think that Ryujin has changed her mind and has decided to stay with Yeji in Korea after all.
Mr. Hwang came to visit on his daughter's birthday last month and stayed for a week before returning to the States. Everyone acted normal around him so he didn't suspect a thing. His daughter looked happy and healthy and he even got to see Jisu's rapidly growing baby girl.
After he left, Ryujin took Yeji to the same resort she took her to on the first birthday they spent together. She even booked the exact same room, the one with the relaxation pool.
Yeji couldn't be happier. That weekend was the most romantic weekend the two had had in a long time.
Ryujin gave Yeji another painting as a gift: a self-portrait. If the canvas is placed next to the painting she gave her on her birthday four years ago, it would look as if the two are looking and smiling at each other while sitting side by side at a table at the café.
"It's a couple painting!" Yeji exclaimed when Ryujin had placed her portrait next to Yeji's, hanging them over Yeji's bed.
"Do you like it?"
"I love it! Now it's complete. Perfect," Yeji said, giving Ryujin a big warm hug and a passionate kiss. "Like you and me."
Ryujin smiled, fighting to keep her composure. Her heart was breaking but she was determined to follow through with her plan.
Now fall has started. The weather has cooled down and the leaves on the trees have turned golden brown.
Ryujin is going to stay at Yeji's place that Friday night because she doesn't want to be home alone. One of Chaeryeong's colleagues had given the actress two free tickets to a musical and she had asked Yuna to come along after apologizing to an understanding Ryujin.
Yeji has just arrived home from work when she feels someone grabbing her from behind, hugging her. She yelps and turns around to see Ryujin grinning mischievously at her.
"Don't scare me like that!" she scolds her, hitting her shoulder.
"Ow! Sorry." Ryujin then leans forward for a kiss.
Yeji only expected a quick kiss, a mere greeting, so she's quite surprised when Ryujin doesn't pull back but deepens the kiss instead. She complies but then asks her what that was about.
"Nothing," Ryujin says, catching her breath. "I just missed you."
Yeji pats Ryujin's cheek. "I missed you too. Now let me go. The door's still open. My neighbors might see us making out."
"I don't mind," replies Ryujin, smirking.
"I do." Yeji pushes Ryujin back, takes off her shoes and jacket then goes inside her apartment. "When did you get here anyway?"
"About an hour ago." Ryujin follows Yeji inside.
"Oh? What have you been doing then?"
"Making you dinner," Ryujin proudly says, pointing at the kitchen.
"Aw... You're so sweet." Yeji playfully pounces Ryujin and gives her another kiss. "Why are you so sweet anyway?"
"I can't be sweet to my baby?"
"You can but you rarely call me your baby."
"Well I'm calling you my baby today."
"Well I like it."
Ryujin chuckles then pulls Yeji to the kitchen. "Let's eat. You must be hungry."
Yeji goes to take a shower after dinner because Ryujin insists on doing the dishes too. When she enters her room, she sees her waiting for her on the bed, under the covers, wearing nothing. She can't help but laugh at the sight.
"Well, well... someone's eager," she remarks. "At least let me dry my hair first?"
Ryujin pats the space next to her, signaling for Yeji to come. "No need."
"Five minutes. That's all I'm asking for," Yeji says as she goes to the vanity and dries her hair.
"Fine! Five minutes!" Ryujin shouts to make herself heard over the noise of the dryer.
When Yeji's done, she brushes her hair and turns around to see Ryujin staring at her. "Now?"
"Now." Ryujin, again, pats the mattress.
"But we just had dinner!" argues Yeji as she climbs onto the bed, sitting on Ryujin's lap instead.
"So?" Ryujin sits up and wraps her arms around Yeji.
"It's not good to be physically active directly after a meal. You'll get nauseated." Yeji smiles, running her fingers through Ryujin's bangs, brushing them back. "Why are you like this tonight?"
"Why am I like what?"
"This. Playful, eager, sweet, affectionate..."
"I'm always all that."
"Not always." Yeji tilts her head and closes her eyes by reflex when Ryujin presses her lips against her neck. "Is everything okay?"
"Of course."
"Is today a special day?"
"Every day with you is a special day."
Yeji can't help but snort. She holds Ryujin by the sides of her head and pushes her back a bit to be able to look into her eyes. "I'm serious, Jinnie. Are you okay? Is everything okay?"
"Everything is fine." Ryujin grins then kisses Yeji. "I love you," she whispers against her lips. "I love you very much."
Yeji gives in when Ryujin tries to move her, turning her body until she's lying on her back. "I love you too," she says as she looks up at the woman hovering over her. There's something in Ryujin's eyes, hidden behind the smile, but Yeji can't put her finger on it because Ryujin won't let her look into her eyes for more than a second. But Yeji soon forgets all about it thanks to the loving touches and kisses Ryujin showers her with.
She falls asleep that night with a smile on her face and Ryujin in her arms, snuggling closely against her.
When she wakes up the next morning, Ryujin's gone and in her place is a white glittery teddy bear with pink paws that's wearing a rainbow leopard bikini and sparkling pink heels. On the bear's lap is a pink envelope addressed to Yeji.
Yeji frowns, rubs her eyes and yawns.
"What is that girl up to now," she mumbles as she sits up to take a better look at the bear.
She recognizes it to be the Pawrincess Bear that they saw at the Build-A-Bear shop four years ago – the one Ryujin had forbidden her from choosing.
Yeji can't help but grin when she sees the outfit.
"Flashy, aren't you, Pawrincess Bear?"
Setting the envelope aside, she hugs the plushie to hear the message that Ryujin has recorded.
"My heart is yours until the day I die. I promise that I will come back for you, my butterfly. Until then, please be happy? I love you very much."
Yeji is shocked by the unexpected message and squeezes the bear's tummy again, thinking that she has heard wrong because she's still sleepy.
She listens carefully – only to hear the same words – and panic starts to rise inside her.
"Ryujin!" she calls out, getting off the bed hurriedly. "Jinnie! Where are you?" She walks out of her room and find no one. "RYUJIN!" she shouts, checking the kitchen and every other room in the apartment.
Her search comes up empty so Yeji rushes back into her room, grabs her phone and dials Ryujin's number. The call goes straight to voicemail.
Muttering a curse, she redials a few more times, tries to send Ryujin a message then decides to call Yuna.
"Hello?"
"Yuna, where are you?"
"Home. What's wrong, Unnie?" asks Yuna when she hears the tone of Yeji's voice. "Is everything okay?"
"Where's Ryujin? Is she there with you?"
"Um... I thought she stayed over at your place last night? At least that's what she told me."
"She did but she's not here now and I can't find her!"
"Maybe she went out to get breakfast or something."
"Her phone's off!"
"Maybe it ran out of battery," says Yuna in an attempt to calm Yeji down. "She didn't leave you a message?"
"No, I-..." Yeji then sees the pink envelope lying on the bed. "I'll call you back," she says, hanging up.
She throws her phone onto the bed then harshly opens the envelope, taking out a folded paper filled with Ryujin's handwriting.
"To my dearest, most beautiful butterfly.
I'm so sorry but I have to do this. I can't have peace if I don't. I hope you'd be able to forgive me one day because I will come back for you, I will come back to you.
While I'm gone, can you please be happy? I know I'm asking a lot but I want you to go chase your dream. Find someone who can love you, take care of you and who can give you what you want. Have a family, Yeji. You can have what Jisu has. I'm okay with it. I want you to be happy.
Although I'm away, it doesn't mean that I've forgotten the promise I once made to always be there for you. I might not be able to appear like a genie every time you summon me but Yuna and Chaeryeong will take my place while I'm gone. They will look after you and when the time comes, you can move on with them. Just don't lose our promise ring. It's my direct link to you. I'll be able to find you again one day because of it and you can reach out to me through it.
I love you and I will never stop loving you. You're my sunrise. You gave me a new life and you taught me to love again. I can never repay you for everything you've done for me but I'll try anyway, starting with letting you experience the life that you want and should have.
Don't hate me for this, okay? I'm doing this for you, for us. I hope you can understand that.
Goodbye, Yeddeong. Until we meet again.
Yours for eternity,
Jinnie"
Yeji gasps. She can feel the pain from her slowly breaking heart as her hands tremble and tears start to flow down her cheeks. For a moment, she doesn't know what to do. It's like being struck by lightning in the middle of the day, when you least expect it.
She kept rereading Ryujin's words, unable to believe that the woman actually went ahead and did this.
She only moves from her spot when she hears her phone ringing. She's still trying to find it among the messy clutter on the bed when her knees give way and she falls onto the mattress, crying into the covers while clutching the letter.
Why, Ryujin? Why?