#1443 AH.
HAPPY NEW ISLAMIC Year lovelies. May this year be filled with blessings upon blessings, noor upon noor and khair upon khair. Ameen ya rabb💞
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All Bark and No Bite..
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AMIRAH
I don't know what came over me. I don't know what pushed me to do what I did, so in order to avoid his eyes I lowered my gaze to the buttons on his chest, placed my head gently on the broad width of it feeling the bum-pa-dum beat of his heart.
Mine was frenzied and his was calm.
Calculating the steps that will take me to the adjoining bathroom in the room I made a dash to the door and locked it behind me.
Feeling the erratic beat of my heart I stopped by the mirror and stared at my face.
Was it glowing like it was said in books? Or movies? Nope, I was still looking like I did before the event that happened.
But Maaaan. That was something.
I've never done anything like that before, most times it's a simple kiss to the cheek, a peck on the forehead or something like that to the guys but never on the lips.
And he responded.
The beginning of a squeal slipped past my lips before I managed to shut it with a slap.
I hope he did not hear that.
With my thoughts in a jumbled mess I stayed in the toilet for approximately two more minutes before going out, that is after mustering so much courage. I counted the seconds.
To my utter relief he was not in the room.
I heaved a sigh before taking my phone and sending Jules a selfie of how I looked with a caption of what just happened.
She has been bugging me for the past couple of years to try that so now that she's got her wish I won't be bugged anymore. Among my friends she's the only one with whom I could share almost every single thing with without fearing that it will be public information.
Remembering that the pizza I brought home with me was on the sitting room table I tiptoed to the corridor and peeped for any sign of him. When I was sure the area was clear I hurried to the sitting room first before skidding to the kitchen with every intention of reheating it in the microwave after I pray Maghrib which was due in not more than an hour.
I ate my fill of lunch when I went out earlier so I wasn't hungry but I bet he was. Not wanting to clear paths with him until I was ready, I strode to my room and kept myself occupied with the goings of Instagram and Twitter. After rummaging through social media, making faces at this girl's dress and the other girl's makeup I turned to pinterest and watched videos on how to operate dishwashers before sneaking into K Hashim's Twitter account, he didn't have much there. One would think the guy has been dead for more than a year with the level of inactivity there was on his social media accounts.
People had to probe and spy real hard before they were able to fish out his Instagram account and tag him in our pictures as the guy who finally puts the leash on me.
Like bloody hell.
I was curious as to what Daddy did to Juicy Sips magazine because in their latest and previous editions there wasn't a word about me, not even about my wedding which means that he has really done something quite serious about them but wasn't willing to share what it was with me.
Well, I must know due to the fact that his thing with them has every single thing to do with me. I was used as a bait to get him so the bottom line is I was the line drawn between the fuckers and my father. And also because I love it when idiotic human beings were threatened, there's a sort of power in that.
After I was done offering my prayers I took a bath and changed into a very pair of comfortable pjs and a pair of fluffy slippers that matched my headgear, a soft blue cotton veil with polka dots in white.
Staring at myself in the mirror I patted my cheeks with both hands muttering "You're not a coward you can do this" to myself and headed out to the kitchen.
I know how to use microwaves so I wasted no time in getting my business done, I took the box that had the drink I got for us earlier and attempted to fill two glasses even though there were tons of canned and gaseous drinks in the refrigerator.
I'm a sucker for fruit juice.
Thinking it twice I hesitated in pouring the drink into the glass cup because I am prone to a little bit of clumsiness that results to accidents here and there. I don't want to find myself covered in shattered glass and pineapple drink.
Ew.
With little excitement I amble to our room holding a tray that had the box containing the drink and the cups and the pizza like a frickin' maid, cleared my throat and called out his name.
The room was quiet, only the sound of the knob turning pierced the air as he opened it and I was forced to stare beneath his neck.
So, apparently the courage I mustered earlier wasn't enough.
"Do you care for dinner?" I asked in a voice that was utterly not mine. I'm never meek. I'm boisterous.
"Sure" he drawled, helping me with the tray and ushering me into the room. "Or we can take this in the living room?" he asked, already making his way out of the room and I was fine with that.
There was this stretch of awkward tension between us that made me regret what I did. It was so palpable that you could fist it with your hands.
I'm making a comparison of Kamal with a turtle, I don't need to explain any further.
So now, he's the turtle that has its head in its shell and I was the cause of it.
I didn't mean for us to be neck deep in this sort of tension, you could cut it with a blade right through the air and I fought the urge to scream at the top of my lungs.
I hate this.
He turned the TV on as we put ourselves into comfortable sitting positions, while we ate his attention was riveted in whatever the TV was showing while mine was focused on eating without succumbing to the urge that was eating at me.
The urge to throw a tantrum.
Why? I do not know why.
Or maybe it's because there are times I don't like it when people get too serious. Like, can't we just live without that? But of course, the answer is No.
And also, I hate it when I'm being ignored.
I noticed that Kamal picks out some of the veggies in the slice he was taking, the green pepper and tomatoes were dropping on the plate like they weren't good enough to fit into his mouth.
Speaking of his mouth.
I involuntarily clear my throat, his eyes turned to mine for a fraction f a second before he looked away.
"Is there any problem?" he asked, the deep baritone gruff from lack of use.
"No" mine decided to sound like a squeak.
God. I hate sounding weak in any way.
"Mommy apologized for not bringing in food today but I told her it was okay. She was at her friend's and they were making plans for a wedding"
"Oou a wedding. I love weddings"
"Obviously" he muttered under his breath.
This reminds me, I've been so much less of a snob from the moment we got caught in that drama to date. That's probably because I've done away with 90 percent of my ego to try and see how life with him would be without that feature of mine making appearance on my forehead.
If there's anything to say about me in summary, it's that I've changed a wee bit from the last two months to right this moment.
I was learning to be more considerate because if I wasn't then I would have been snucked under a duvet on my bed watching a movie and eating my pizza. Alone and content.
Only a kinder version of me would ever take to sharing her food with another man.
With his help I packed everything from the sitting room to the kitchen, I stood by as he washed our cups in silence, only the clinks of glass meeting sink was the sound that filled the air.
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KAMAL
The day passed by in a blur between the two of us, everyone was occupied with his own life although it didn't pass my attention that she was doing her best to avoid me. Deliberately.
The question that nagged at me was "Did she even know she kissed me or did the moment just felt like it needed something like that"
Funny enough, I was kept busy by a little job Daddy made me do concerning Fatimah's past so whether it was intentional or not, I found myself alone in my room and away from her.
After I was done with the work, I did my nightly rituals keeping it in mind that the woman wasn't showing face tonight but she surprised me by walking into the room a little after 10pm. She smiled and waved giddily at me before taking off her funny looking slippers and slipping into the bed without a word.
That smile was a fake.
I pursed my lips nonchalantly and turned off the lights before laying on my side. We had our backs facing each other and I was fully aware of her every single movement because unlike her, I wasn't pretending to be asleep, I was using my phone.
Well since we're both awake it's better to get this over with.
"Maryam.."
"Kamal do.."
We began simultaneously, I urged her to go on because I had to listen to what she has to say. I'm not complaining but I'm a little bit used to the loud Maryam not the shy one. It doesn't even fit her, being like this. It's better when she's loud and aggressive because I'd rather be the one being bullied than be the bully between us.
With a huff she began speaking. "About what happened earlier, I'm sorry I had to do something rash and impulsive but it was just a spun of the moment and it caught even me off guard"
"Umhmm.." I wanted to know what else she had to say about it. Besides, it is no big deal. That's what I told myself but not what I believed.
"So, I'm sorry I did that. It's an honest mistake"
A mistake. I echoed, the words tasted bitter on my tongue but I held it back. My insecurities came nagging at me but I didn't want to give them any attention. I didn't want to think of how many times she has tried that spun of the moment periods with her friends. I wasn't interested in punishing myself with thoughts that would keep me awake. So, I decided to act rational and okay with it.
"We're good then, it's no problem. You shouldn't have gotten yourself jumbled over something so insignificant" I used her words to mock her and got rewarded with her sharp intake of breath.
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Under the same breath I heard her mutter "Insufferable" before she spoke loudly, responding to my jab.
"Totally insignificant, that's the word. Yup" She emphasized on the P before once again muttering something under her breath and this time around a snicker slipped past my throat because what she did mutter was "Insignificant my ass"
"What's so funny?" She asked before moving around to a sitting position. I knew she did that without turning to face her.
"Nothing is, you just.. I just thought of something funny is all. Goodnight" I dropped my head on the pillow and pretended to sleep.
"You can't just laugh at me and bid me goodnight like I'm some jellyfish that needs poking at"
"Okay, I heard you mumble something under your breath and I found it funny that you think of me as an insufferable human"
"Why do I find this hard to believe? Kamal a few days back you definitely didn't find anything about me funny. Thoughts of me I know, don't deny it must've kept you awake all night conspiring of ways to kill a person without it being coldblooded murder so you can't tell me a few words of mine had you laughing. Oh I know exactly how little my sense of humor is" She yapped.
"I think it's impolite to keep on talking when a person has bade you goodnight"
"You must know what's totally impolite or not. I shouldn't even have shared my pizza with you today" She added the last part in a hushed tone but remember this, I'm blessed with very sound ears and eyes.
"Too bad. There might be a next time for that and you'll still share it"
"Well, whenever that happens I'm not sharing my food with you because look where sharing is caring got me" She kept on talking and talking.
This girl is what you call all bark and no bite.
"Are you even listening to me? You can't sleep right now while I'm speaking to you"
Silence.
"Kamal" I felt her hands on my forearm as she said that and before I could respond her tiny fingers caught at the flesh on my arm and squeezed hard.
She pinched me. Damn if I didn't say she was a bully earlier.
I take all I said about all bark and no bite back. She's all Bark and bite and more.
Quietly laughing to myself after she has withdrawn herself from directly behind me I heard her grumble "Damn him and his ugly biceps" before loudly adding "That's for ignoring me. Goodnight"
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Hello Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullah Wa Barakatuh.
How have we been? I hope we're all doing good Alhamdulillah.
Thank you for being patient with me.
Xx.
Meenah Uthman.
❤️