The rain was pouring outside today, so I decided to go for a run. I liked running in the rain. Somehow it relaxed me. Besides, it was probably good for me to get out of the house for a while just to clear my head and get some fresh air. Lying home in my PJs wasn't very uplifting. More depressing if you ask me.
I put on a black sports-tights, a t-shirt and a jacket since it was probably pretty cold outside.
On my way out of the house, I went pass Louis' room. I stopped. No crying, no screaming. No nothing. Not a single sound. Should I talk to him? I mean we were kind of in the same boat, so I had the right to try and cheer him up and not be so damn depressed.
I decided to knock on his door to at least give it a try. "Louis?"
No answer. I knocked once again.
"Get lost."
I groaned at Louis' crinkyness. "Louis, you can't stay in there forever. Can't you come with me for a run? I'll wait if you need some time to change. It's a great weather out-"
"Get lost" he answered once again.
"Ugh" I groaned, and decided enough was enough. He couldn't hide away in there forever.
I opened the door. "Louis, you-"
My feet stopped moving. Louis sat in his bed, furrowing his eyebrows at the sight of me. His hair went every possible way it could go, and his eyes ...
His eyes were red. Sadness. Anger. Despair. All put in his worn eyes.
"And who the fuck let you in, huh?" He grumped.
"I-I just thought I'd see how you were doing" I stuttered.
He chuckled half-heartedly. "Please, like I need your bloody pity. Now, will you get out of my room, please? Thank you."
I rolled my eyes. "Ugh, stop being such a pessimist, Louis! I'm doing better than you, and I'm his freaking girlfriend for God's sake."
"Get out."
"But-"
"Now."
He started to get angry, so I decided to leave it off and go for a run on my own.
"Fine, just sit here alone and pout. I'll go out in the lovely weather without you" I said, and turned on my heel to walk out the door.
"It's pouring outside" Louis said from behind me.
I turned around, feeling like I had a small chance of making him change his mind. "Exactly."
A small smile formed on his lips. "You like the rain too, huh?"
I nodded eagerly and smiled by the fact that me and Louis actually had something in common. Well, except for our love interest in Harry, of course.
He sighed. "I guess I could come with you, then. Do I have to dress in Nike shorts and shit?"
I stifled a laugh. "No, just come as you are. I don't mind."
He nodded and pushed himself off of his large bed. I flipped the light switch on just in case he wanted a piece of clothing to put on, as he was only wearing a thin t-shirt. He picked up a green hoodie and put it on, smiling a bit towards me like he was actually a bit excited.
"Let's go then."
We walked a long walk, sometimes running a bit, competing against eachother on who could run for the longest time or hit the next lamppost first. I really enjoyed spending some time with him, and it looked like he was enjoying it too. He laughed a lot to my surprise, and his laugh was very contagious so I laughed with him.
There was a bench near the pond where ducks were swimming peacefully, and Louis nodded for us to sit down. His hair was soaked from the rain, as well as mine. My makeup probably looked horrendous, smudged all over my face.
"You really are a fast one, you know" he said and breathed in and out heavily, tired from our run.
I smiled. "No, you're just a slow one."
He lightly hit me in the arm and chuckled.
"I'm just teasing. Same to you" I said and giggled.
We sat quiet for a while. Nothing awkward, just a peaceful and delightful silence, our thoughts raging inside of us. At least inside of me.
"Do you think Harry will be okay?" I dared to ask after a while, and bit my lip.
"You're really asking the pessimist?" He said and chuckled, smiling at me with furrowed eyebrows.
I laughed with him and looked down in my lap. "I guess I'm just asking anyone around me these days, to find something in them. Hope, strength, courage. Anything that could lift me up and make me strong too."
He nodded understanding. "Well, if it helps," he began. "I hope so."
I looked up at him, and I could see a bit of hope in his eyes. A smile spread on my face. He hadn't given up yet. He wasn't completely lost.
"We should probably get back if we don't want a fever when Harry comes back from the hospital" Louis said and stood up from the bench.
I grinned at him for being so positive around me and started walking home with him. Had I changed him? Had I maybe lit up a sparkle inside of him? A hope? Maybe I had.
"Oh, and by the way," he suddenly said as we were walking home again.
"I think you're a very strong person, Lucy. You don't need other's hope and strength, because you're filled up with your own. You're so strong and full of hope, and I envy that of you. I really do. Know that."
My heart felt warm by his words and his sudden kindness towards me. "Thank you, Louis. It means a lot to me, you know. I need someone to tell me I'm strong enough to get through all of this, or else, I'll break."
He smiled and looked at me. "You can. You can get through this."
When we got home, I decided to take a hot shower because I was literally freezing to death. It was colder outside than I expected, but it was worth it, because I seemed to cheer Louis up. That helped.
I put on some comfy clothes and dried my hair, putting it up into a bun before I lightly put on some eyeliner, mascara and concealer. My face looked kind of depressed with under-eye circles without making, so I thought it was for the best for all of us.
Suddenly I got an urge for hot chocolate, so I decided to make some and ask the other boys if they wanted some.
I peeked into Louis' room, seeing him sitting there and scribbling something in a book. His head tilted up as he noticed I was there, and he quickly closed his book and smiled at me.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. I just, uhm.. I was going to make some hot chocolate, and I was wondering if you wanted some?" I asked carefully.
He nodded. "Yeah, I'd like that."
I smiled. "Okay, I'll make some extra."
Liam and Niall sounded eager when they found out I was making it, and obviously said yes to my offer. Zayn was in his room, and none of the boys had talked to him today. I just assumed he was with Perrie, but he wasn't.
I knocked on his door carefully.
"Come in" he said quietly.
I opened the door slowly, to see him sitting at his desk with these fancy reading glasses on, his eyes buried into a notebook that he was writing in.
"I was just wondering if you wanted some hot chocolate?" I asked a bit quiet, since he didn't really know it was me until I spoke.
The fact that it was me didn't seem to affect his position. "Yeah, sure" he said firmly, smiling a bit into his notebook.
I nodded and closed his door. Curiosity bubbled inside of me, wondering what he was writing. Was it a diary? Did Zayn and Louis write diaries? I guess diaries sounded a bit girly. I pictured sad teenage girls writing about how they're hopelessly devoted to some boy at their school they'll never get. Journals sounded better. Yeah, journals.
"Hey, guys?" I said when I came down in the livingroom while stirring the cocoa powder with the milk, looking towards Liam and Niall sitting in the couch.
"Yeah?" They answered at the same time, which made me giggle.
"Do you know what Zayn is writing on? I saw him writing in a book when I came into his room."
They both looked at eachother with confusion in their eyes.
"Nah, I don't think so" Niall answered casually, not really curious like me at all.
"I might have seen him writing in some book on the tour bus, but I don't know if it was the same" Liam said and looked at me.
I nodded and left it with that. If Zayn had some book he wanted to keep hidden, I wasn't gonna ruin it for him and make him hate me. He should have his secrets for himself, and I wasn't going to snoop around like a curious bastard who ruins everything.
That's when the phone rang.