Why is it so hard to get him out of my head? Is something wrong with me? Have I gone mad at the shire sight of him? God, I sound like a fucking stalker. Yet, I want nothing to do with him.
Not the way he is now. People always tell me that this is what true love does, it forms when it's meant to but never before it's time. My question is if it's him, shouldn't I feel some sort of attraction to him?
Why does the thought of being with him make me want to protect him with my life but yet punch a hole in a wall? The sheer sight of him makes me want to jump at him. Yet, anytime he opens his mouth, I want to knock his head off. Ugh, this is so much more complicated than it is in the movies.
"Ok, time to get up. You've been moping for too long. It's not the end of the world." Jamie said, yanking my sheets off of me.
"You can't put a limit on moping Jamie, I made a complete fool of myself. I know I don't like the guy and I probably made it more than obvious by not talking to him. Why is it so hard to talk to him?" I groaned and he gave me a breakfast tray.
"Who can blame you? I know he triggered your memories of back then. I saw the look in your eyes and you were playing with the sand." He smiled sadly and hugged me.
"Maybe you were right, maybe I should get to know him more or at least his friends first. Baby steps, you know?" I chuckled, rubbing the back of my neck.
"Getting to know the people who know the real him is a good way to start. You're not the best at that. You're as stubborn as steel." He smirked and I rolled my eyes.
"Rumor has it any way that Mr. Walker called out Ryker for the rest of the week for personal reasons so you have enough time to do what you need to in order to talk to him." He shrugged and I groaned.
Personal matters? School just started back up and he's taking time away from school? Won't that be bad for his grades? He's the smartest kid in school supposedly. Taking a break from school so early in the semester is not a good decision.
I don't know how long I was sitting there in bed just staring off into space but my food had gotten cold and my parents had left for work only leaving Jamie and I in the house.
I had completely zoned out so I got out of bed and went to shower as I usually did then took my tray down to the kitchen.
"Your mom and dad said we can invite Sean and Waylon over since it's staff training and school is closed." He wiggled his eyebrows and I sighed.
"I have a feeling you're doing this to me intentionally like you want me to like him." I groaned.
"How did you know Ryker was going to be out of school anyway?" I asked him now that we were on the subject.
"I talked to him and he said he'd be gone for about a week for personal reasons. I didn't wanna push the subject so that's all I got from him. He looked pretty upset from what I could tell. I didn't want to piss him off by prying. Let him do what he needs to and hopefully, it'll all be ok." He assured me and I nodded slowly.
Does Jamie like Ryker or something? They seem so close for only knowing each other for a week and a half. Not that I'm complaining, they'd look adorable together.
"Do you like Ryker?" I asked him as he sat next to me on the living room couch.
"I mean, he's cute and I can tell there's more to him than everyone wants to believe. He's much like you with sharper edges. After everything he's been through, who wouldn't be? I'm not sure if I like him in that way but whatever happens then so be it." He shrugs but he was most definitely blushing.
If he likes him I fully support him. I could only imagine how they'd be together. I'm sure much better than Ryker and I that's for sure. Then again we might not be the same people we are now.
"I mean you're already attached to each other. Why not go for it?" I smirk and he hits me with a pillow.
"Most people when they give compliments only ask that you say thank you jeez, no need to assault your poor old cousin." I laughed as he glared at the TV screen even though it was off.
Why is he so afraid to even ask him out? Is he just as afraid to date him because of his outbursts?
"What do you mean what he's been through? He's Mr perfect and Mr popularity, what could he have been through that was horrible?" I asked as I rolled my eyes.
"You have no idea." He said and looked upset suddenly, as he was deep in thought I saw a ton of emotions going through his eyes and shown on his face that it looked like he was having an inner battle with himself.
"Look, all I'm saying is, he's not who people think he is." Jamie said after he calmed down and took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
"When are Sean and Waylon coming over?" I asked to fill the silence and the doorbell rang, making me chuckle.
"Now." Jamie opened the door and there they stood, holding bags of food and cases of soda and they put the stuff on the island and got out a few movies they had also brought and we all grabbed some snacks and a soda and went to the living room and Jamie put in the movie and we all got comfortable.
"I don't know about you guys but I'm team Jacob. That body and the fact he turns into a wolf is amazing. Also any vamp who sparkles in the sun is just not as hot as a man like Jacob becoming a wolf." Waylon said as he was so engrossed in the movie. I noticed Sean glare at Waylon and Waylon giggled and leaned against Sean and kissed his cheek.
"Not that he has anything on you baby." Waylon said and kissed just below Sean's earlobe making Sean shiver.
"Anything that turns into anything is just not natural and disgusting." I added and saw them tense at my words and Jamie looked shocked.
"What? It's true. Just because they can turn into an animal doesn't make them special. It's just like if you or I were a wolf, wouldn't you think it's also unnatural that it happens?" I asked, wanting to know their thoughts but a ringing of a phone ceased any answer, for now.
"Hello? How's it going? We're good man, worried about you. We're hanging out with Jamie and Gaelen. Mhm yea, pops got it handled, don't worry Ry, just take it one day at a time and if it gets bad, just walk away and take a breath. They aren't worth it, ok? Everything will be ok and will work out. Ok love you too Ry, be careful, please?" Sean said and almost begged at the end of the conversation and that just irritated me even more.
"Is he alright?" Waylon asked as Sean sat back and still had the phone but whispered to Waylon.
"Not really, we'll talk later about it." Sean said and Waylon sighed but nodded anyway.
"What is the big deal about this guy? You three and a few others make it seem like he's God himself. He's nothing but an angry guy who has the world at his feet. His life is perfect, he's perfect, he can do no wrong, you don't know what he's been through. Big fucking deal he has family shit going on. Who the hell doesn't?! He walks around like the world owes him everything and doesn't seem to care that other people hate that about him." I said loud enough for even the asshole to hear me.
All three of them looked at me like I was crazy. I didn't care, Ryker Mr. Perfect Walker is not in fact perfect and it's time people realize that.
"What the fuck is wrong with you? You don't know the first thing about Ryker to make such assumptions about him Gaelen!" Jamie raised his voice at me when he looked at me like he wanted to hit me.
"Oh just fuck him already since you seem to be his best friend all of a sudden. What is it about him that people just fall for him like he's the best damn thing that walked this earth?!" I yelled back and Sean looked downright murderous as he looked at me.
"Ryker would not do that! He's not a man whore who would fuck just anyone. You don't know him, you have no clue the kind of person he is. He has a right to be angry Gaelen, so don't you dare sit there thinking you know him when to me you seem like you in fact have the perfect life you think Ryker has. Yes we all have our own shit to deal with and someone who is new to town should keep his fucking mouth shut before I make you." Sean threatened and I knew to keep my mouth shut but I didn't.
"Did his mommy and daddy not love him enough? Is he still attached to his mama's tit that he can't function without it? Big deal that he has struggles, it doesn't give him the right to yell at his 'father's like he did, in the school of all places for all to hear! I hope he doesn't come back, maybe then he will realize that being angry isn't good for anyone." I said and they all three gasped.
"I can't look at you right now." Jamie said and walked out of the house, Sean and Waylon following. I huffed and kicked the couch as I crossed my arms across my chest, as a realization fell upon me, that Sean hadn't ended his call, that Ryker heard all of that and I smirked to myself.
Maybe the bastard will stay away, maybe I could have my life back to normal again.