Harry and Tiff were blowing up my phone but I really didn't want to talk to either of them so I ignored Tiff and told Harry I needed space.
"How are you doing bubs?" JP asked as we sat in my living room.
"I don't even know anymore. I don't wanna get upset again." I fanned my face to stop the tears before they fell.
"Oh bubs." He rubbed my arm reassuringly.
"I just feel like every time things start going really good for me, it all just goes to shit. You know how much I fucking love this lad and he goes and kisses someone who is supposed to be one of my best friends." I couldn't stop a few tears from rolling down my cheek.
"It's fucked up. I really can't say anything else about it. It's fucked." He half shrugged. "What did Harry say about it all?"
"He said it was just a kiss on the cheek and if I was there, he would've done the exact same thing."
"Do you believe him?"
"I really wish I did."
"But you don't."
I shook my head. "I would've if it wasn't for the fact that he's said some stuff that I played off as a joke but was kind of flirty."
"What are you gonna do now?"
"Fuck knows. I haven't spoken to Harry or Tiff since the party." I told him. "What do I do Joshy?"
"I think you need to talk to Harry and Tiff separately and see what they have to say about it." He advised.
"I don't want to lose him but I refuse to stay with someone who cheats on me again." I wiped the stray tears away. "Why am I always put in these fucking situations?"
"I know it's different because he's not with Tiff anymore, but what does Sam think?"
I shrugged. "He's hurt but because he's not with Tiff anymore he's not mad. I think he's pissed off on my behalf."
"Yeah. I do think you need to talk to Harry especially and tiff as well because not getting any kind of explanation is gonna fuck with you even more. If it is something bad, at least by knowing you can move on." He said. "Not knowing is always worse."
"Yeah." I hugged him. "Thank you for coming over."
"Of course. You're always gonna be like my little sister so I'm always gonna be here for you."
"I love you."
"I love you too." He kissed the top of my head as we pulled away from one another.
"I'm gonna text Harry to come over now." I grabbed my phone and sent the message. He replied almost instantly. "He's gonna be here in about ten minutes."
"Then I will leave you to it. Call or text if you need anything, okay?"
"Thank you for everything. It means a lot." I hugged him again.
"Anytime." He kissed my cheek and walked out.
A few minutes later, there was a knock on my front door and I opened it to reveal Harry. "Hey."
"Hi."
"Come on in." I stepped aside and closed the door behind him. "Do you want some tea or something?" I offered as we walked into the living room.
"No, I'm good." He said and we both sat down on the sofa but I didn't sit near him. "I'm happy you're talking to me again, finally."
"Obviously I've been in a situation before where my ex disappeared to Ibiza for three days and didn't even send a text so I know how shit it can be which is why I told you I needed the space." I explained. "I don't care what it is but I need to know the truth. What happened?"
"We were all hanging out and we were playing some drinking game and it ended up that Tiff and I were supposed to kiss or whatever." He gave vague details. "It was literally a kiss on the cheek."
I took a second to think. "I don't believe you. It fucking kills me to say that but I just don't believe you."
"Why don't you believe me?"
I elaborated. "Because you've made comments over the past couple weeks to and about Tiff that I didn't think anything of at the time but now this is kind of making me, like, rethink everything."
He sighed. "It might have been a peck on the lips."
"Why the fuck would you, A) kiss one of my best friends on the lips and B) lie about it?"
"Because you were already so upset, I didn't want to make it worse."
"Are you fucking joking? You've known me for how fucking long now, the one thing that I can't fucking stand is lying." I started to get angry. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"
"Yes, what I did was wrong. I shouldn't have done it and I shouldn't have lied about it. I'm really sorry for that. It just broke my heart seeing you hurt."
"You were the one that fucking hurt me!" I snapped. "It broke your heart? Fuck you. I have been more vulnerable with you than I have ever been with anybody else in my life. You're a fucking arsehole. It didn't break your heart, you just got fucking guilty because you broke my heart."
"The last thing I want to do is hurt you."
"It's a bit fucking late for that." I sighed.
"What now? What do you want?"
"I want a boyfriend who doesn't cheat on me. I want a boyfriend who fucking respects me and our relationship. I want a boyfriend I can trust." I held back tears.
"I respect you so much."
"You're actions contradict that."
"I've fucked up. All I can do is apologise and tell you that I'm going to make it up to you and I'm going to prove to you that you can trust me and I do respect you."
I took a deep breath to try and keep the tears back. "The way I feel with you, I have never felt before so this is such a head fuck. I'm not ready to forgive you but I'm also not ready to lose you."
"Okay." He nodded understandingly. "Do you want space?"
"I think I need a couple of days to think about everything so I think maybe it would be best to just talk again at Mark's fashion presentation." I told him. "I don't want to break up, I don't want to go on a break, I just want time to think."
"I completely respect that. I will talk to you in a couple of days then. Am I allowed one kiss?"
I stood up and kissed his cheek. He responded by kissing my forehead and walking out.
Time came to get ready to go to Mark's presentation and it felt really weird not getting Harry's opinion on my outfit.
The first thing I did when I showed up to the presentation was find Sam.
"Hey Bella." He kissed both my cheeks and gave me a hug. "How are a you feeling?"
"Not great mate." I chuckled because I didn't know what else to do. "I don't know what you've been told but you need to know that it wasn't a kiss on the cheek."
"What do you mean?"
"Harry told me that he lied to me. It was a kiss on the lips. He said it was just a peck but it was on the lips." I told him.
"For fuck sake." He ran his hand through his hair. "Well I'll add that to the lies that Tiff has told me then. She pretty much hooked up with Sam Prince."
"Why is everything also so fucked up for us?"
"What's going on with you and Baron then?"
"It's a weird one. Because he came round to mine a couple days ago and we talked. I asked him to give me space which he has. It's actually been quite nice because he always messages me good morning and good night and the past couple days he's been sending me the cutest messages." I shook my head slightly. "It's a bit of a head fuck."
"Have you decided what you're gonna do?"
"I'm not ready to get over it yet but I'm not ready to lose him. I fucking love the lad." I sighed a little. "Have you spoken to him?"
"Yeah we've cleared things up but I'm not gonna be completely cool with him until I know you're okay but you're my number 1. Always."
I hugged him. "I'm so fucking happy I've got you in my life."
"The feeling is mutual."
As we pulled away from each other, Harry walked over.
"Hi."
"Alright, mate." Sam nodded at him and then turned back to me. "I'm gonna go talk to Tiff but I'll see you later." He kissed my cheek and walked off.
"Hi." Harry repeated.
"Hey."
"You look beautiful, little one."
"Thank you. Honestly, it felt really weird not asking you what I should wear or if my outfit was good." I confessed. "I've hated the past few days for so many reasons but it was so shit because it wasn't just that I wasn't talking to my boyfriend, I wasn't talking to the person I've done everything with for like two months now."
"I feel the exact same. I mean it's a bitter sweet thing to hear because obviously it's reassuring to know that you've missed me but the situation that made you miss me and how much I've hurt you, that fucking kills me."
"I have missed you a lot. I know I said to give me space but I really appreciate the message you sent, they meant a lot." I took a deep breath. "Right now, I'm not ready to get over this and move on but I'm ready to lose you."
"So what do you want to do? Because, at this point, I'll do fucking anything to be with you. I don't care what it is, name it and it's done."
"I need to know that I can trust you and that you won't cheat on me or lie to me again but trust is earned over time. I'm not gonna tell you to do this or do that because that's not who I am." I explained. "I want you to do things because you want to do them, not because I'm telling you to do it. I'm more than willing to give this another chance because I love you so much but you need to figure your shit out."
"I promise that you can trust and I promise to make everything up to you. I love you so much, it honestly scares me some times because I've never been properly in love with someone and I'm completely, like, obsessed with you." He let out a slight chuckle. "So we're good?"
"We're on the way to being good but I'm not gonna lose you over this. Don't think for a second that this sets a precedent. If you ever cheat on me or lie to me again, I will walk away because I've been in toxic situations before, I've stayed with someone who repeatedly cheated on me and I won't do it again. I can't. You know it almost broke me last time."
"I will do everything in my power to make sure you aren't hurt again, little one." He kissed me. "Thank you."
"Don't think that there's a right or wrong answer to this because there genuinely isn't because you can hang out with whoever the fuck you wanna hang out with but are you gonna be hanging out with Tiff still?"
"I mean, we're obviously gonna be at the same parties and events because we have a lot of mutual friends but no, I don't think I wanna hang out with her anymore." He responded. "Out of respect for you and for Sam, I don't think it would be right to."
"I don't want you thinking you can't hang out with people because of me. All I ask is that you're just respectful about it and maybe don't be best mates with people that I'm uncomfortable with." I told him. "And that goes both ways. If there are people you're uncomfortable with me being around for whatever reason, then let me know so I know to be more careful about my interactions with that person."
"I think that's more than fair." He smiled slightly. "Honestly, after what Sammy told me a little bit earlier, I don't really want to carry on being that close with Tiff anyway."
"What did Sammy tell you?"
"Tiff practically begged Princey to go back to hers and stay in her bed with her where they spooned and fondled." He relayed the news to me. "Oh and that she deleted her messages off Liv and Princey's phones."
"She took their phones and deleted the messages?" I kind of gasped. "That's some shady shit, I'm sorry. Why would you do that?"
"Clearly she had something to hide."
"Poor Sammy. He keeps getting kicked while he's down doesn't he?"
"I'm just happy that me and you are almost back to normal." He wrapped his arms around my waist.
"Well, you're an idiot but I love you so I guess that makes me an idiot as well."
"I love you too." He kissed me.