*Dan's POV*
"Penelope," I let out, running over to her and grabbing her left wrist. She flicks me off, backing away again.
"What?" she asks, not realizing it was her phone. She crosses her arms, but I pull them apart.
"That was Jessica," I whisper, the tears returning again.
"That was mine? Why did you read my text?" she asks, infuriated.
"It was an accident," I reply, cradling her left arm. I barely tap my fingers to the hem of her soft sleeve, and she recoils instantaneously.
"What are you doing?" she warns. I snatch her again, pulling up the sleeve to her elbow. "Dan!" she screams, trying to break away from my tight grasp. I have a firm hold on her, and stare at the huge slashes across her fragile arm. They are in various stages of recovery: some bright white like they are extremely old, some a maroon color that are beginning to fade, and most disturbingly ones that look as fresh as though she did them just yesterday. They mostly go straight across, but there are a few stragglers up higher that start cross crossing at various different angles. I try counting them, but I lose track; there are too many.
"Pen..." I sigh, not being able to stop myself from crying. I run my finger gently up her arm, hardly touch her icy skin. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"It's not something I'm proud of. I didn't want you to hate me and think I was looking for attention or just seriously messed up. I hate that I do this to myself, but it's the only thing that distracts me from that voice telling me I'm not good enough. It reminds me that I'm still alive, even though I'm numb and feel dead inside. There's no point in me being here anymore; I'm just so worthless. I'm a disgusting, vile, idiotic, and insignificant little nothing, and so sorry I dragged you into my life. I should've never let us become close, because I knew I would disappoint you. I knew that if you found out, you would dump me immediately. I'm so sorry, just so sorry..." she rambles as tears stream down her face. Before she can say anything else, I embrace her tight, sobbing heavily. "Please don't cry Dan. I'm not worth it."
"Yes you are." I reply, looking deeply into her red eyes. I cradle each side of her face in my hands, my nose gently touching hers. "You are worth so much. I don't think I've cared about another girl remotely as much as I do you. It is killing me that you don't see how much you mean to me. Let me show you how beautiful you are. I'll change your mind." I lean down, pressing my lips to the lowest scar on her arm. I continue up, kissing each individual wound as if each time I did they disappeared until I'm up to her sleeve. I look back at her face, and she's smiling slightly.
"Thank you," she whispers, bending down to connect my lips to hers. I stand up, picking her up along the way. I walk over to the bed, still with her in my arms, and sit down with her on my lap. We break apart and I kiss her hair, breathing in her mesmerizing scent. "Do you want to watch a movie or something? Just stop talking about this for a bit?" she asks.
"Anything you want." I grin even though I want to know more. Does she have other scars? When did she start doing this? When was the last time she did? "Do you want to change into pajamas so we'll be more comfortable?" I add, trying to stop my train of thought.
She nods, and I go to get her something to sleep in. When I return, she takes the clothes and giggles. "I have something, silly." Before I respond, she goes into the bathroom and later emerges in my too-big-for-her sweatshirt and her navy sweatpants, her hair thrown into a messy bun. In the meantime, I've changed into my sleepwear and grabbed my duvet to cocoon us.
"Pen, just one thing." I tell her as I try to narrow down my list to one question. She tilts her head in a quizzical manner, urging me on. I exhale, looking her in her eyes. "Are there more?" She darts her gaze down to the floor, answering me without speaking. I run over to her and continue, "Where else are they?" She paces back and forth, and I see she's getting really uneasy, like she is about to have an anxiety attack. I grab her hand, bringing her closer to me. I sit her down on the bed, and raise her palm to my lips, kissing it gently as if it'll calm her down. I tuck a loose piece of her hair behind her ear, and cup her chin as I whisper, "You can tell me anything. I promise I will do everything I can to help you. You can get through this."
"You must've forgotten I'm left handed." She lets out, rolling up her right sleeve. I look down, and it is so much worse that her other arm. The scars almost look like barcode, because there is so little of her porcelain skin peaking through them. There are thinner ones, as well as deep gashes in the center. I leave another line of kisses across that arm when I suddenly notice that they don't just stop at her elbow.
"There are more, aren't there?" I ask gently, trying to pull up her sleeve a tiny bit more. She simply nods, looking up in an attempt to stop crying. I put my hand on the bottom hem of her sweatshirt as a way to ask if I can see the rest. I lift it over her head, and she's wearing a tight tank top underneath. I was right; they do keep going up. They're like the ones on her forearm, but go all around, only stopping when it's a few centimeters from the start. They too are in different stages of recovery, but these are much more dense on both arms. It's like she's only recently started with her wrists, when her upper arms ran out of room. "Anywhere else?" Reluctantly she nods again, and I rest my chin on her shoulder, pressing my lips to her neck slightly. She pushes me off and breathes loudly, trying to calm herself down. "Where else are they?"
"My stomach." She finally lets out after a long pause. "I stopped cutting there, but there are a few,"
"Define a few..." I ask, horrified that there's more. She pulls up her top slightly, revealing a bruised mess. "How did you get those?" I almost yell, staring at the blue and purple marks dotting her flat stomach. A single tear rolls down her cheek, and I realize that she did them. "I'm so sorry..." I wrap my arms around her protectively, kissing her shoulder. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay." She replies, resting her head on mine. I lay her down on the bed, and gently press my lips to a bruise. She giggles, and I can't help but smile. I kiss another, and she swats me away playfully. "That tickles!" I continue pecking her all over and Penelope keeps laughing as she repeats, "Stop! Dan, that tickles, stop!"
"Fine," I smirk, sitting up and going down on the ground. I kneel in front of her, putting my crossed arms on her knees. She meets my gaze, and ruffles my hair. I take her hand, and kiss it again. "I know you won't stop all at once. That's unrealistic; it's an addiction and even though you want to, stopping altogether simply won't happen. There are going to be days where you want to do it, and it'll be a struggle to overcome this. The one thing I ask is that if on those days when you have an urge, call me. I'll be over in a minute, and always be there for you."
"Thanks Dan," she smiles lightly. "Let's watch the movie?"
"Alright." I kiss the top of her head as we stand up and walk to the lounge. She had brought two pillows from my room, and I dragged the duvet along with us. After setting up a little spot to lie, we rifle through the DVD collection and end up picking Spirited Away. We take our places, my arm wrapped around her shoulder and the duvet covering both of our outstretched legs. She nuzzles into my side, bringing another grin to my face.
"Hey guys!" we hear Phil exclaim as he walks into the lounge.
"Hey!" we reply, sitting up a bit. "How's the video going?"
"Pretty good, I should have it done soon." He comes a bit closer, and I can tell by the way he looks that he's worried. He must've heard us yelling or crying. Probably both. However he doesn't say anything, simply walking towards us carefully.
"Want to take a break? We're watching Spirited Away." Penelope asks him.
"I'd love to. But just for a bit, I really need to get this done."
"Of course."She smiles, and pats the spot next to her. Phil takes it, placing his legs on the table in front of him. She gives him some of the covers, and he just keeps staring at her. However she doesn't notice, and turns back to the film. He looks up at me and I see the shock in his eyes. "Penelope..."
"Yeah?" she turns to face him, and he's staring back at her exposed arms. "Shit! I forgot I wasn't wearing a sweatshirt!" she sinks down, hiding herself beneath the duvet.
"It's alright, babe. This is Phil; he cares about you." I whisper, trying to get her out. Phil and I join her underneath, sitting up to make a canopy above her. She puts her hands over her eyes, and I can tell she's tearing up again. "Phil won't say anything bad, I promise."
"Of course not! Why would I do that?" Phil asks. Penelope removes her hands, but doesn't look at either of us. I delicately wipe away the moisture pooling under her eye, quickly glimpsing at Phil to see what he's doing. He's gaze is fixed on her arms, trying to count the scars or just in complete shock that she has so many. "I'm guessing you don't want to talk about it, I'm sure you and Dan did already," he starts. "But... just.... I'm here for you. Please try your best to not do it again?"
"Okay," she grins momentarily, her gaze meeting Phil's. He smiles at her and grabs her hand, squeezing it gently. We all find our comfortable positions again, and go back to the movie. As the adverts stop and the actual film begins, Penelope cuddles into my side, still holding onto Phil's hand.
About halfway through, I look down and she is asleep. She looks so innocent, her eyes delicately shut and her chest slowly rising and falling. Phil looks over to me, and after noticing Penelope whispers, "I need to get back to the video."
"Alright." I nod, and he stands up, desperate not to wake her up. He pats her head and seems sad. "You okay?"
"I just can't believe she did that to herself. Please make sure she doesn't again?" he asks me, tears forming in his eyes.
"I'll try my best." I smile at him, trying to cheer him up. He sighs and then goes back into his room. I kiss Penelope's hair, and she snuggles closer to me in her sleep. "I promise." I murmur to her, even though I know she can't hear me.
After the film ends, I turn off the television and pick her up bridal style. "Did I fall asleep?" she asks as her eyes open, adjusting to the light.
"Yeah, but go back to sleep." I tell her. She tries to protest, but eventually just rests her head on my chest. I grin, walk to my room and lay her on the bed. She makes herself comfortable, and I stroke her hair as she drifts off into dreamland again. I press my lips to her forehead then grab my laptop. I want to go on YouTube and Tumblr, but I don't want to wake her up. I start going to the lounge, when I hear a little thing squeak.
"What was that?" Penelope asks, sitting up a bit. "Where are you going?"
"I was going to go to the lounge; I didn't want to disturb you. But, I think that was a mouse,"
"A mouse?" she asks.
"We get them occasionally."
"Should we try to catch it?" she offers, standing up.
"You're not scared of it?"
"Why would I be scared of a tiny mouse?" she smirks, coming closer to me. "I got them sometimes back home."
"Well how did you get rid of them, then?"
"I'm assuming you don't want to kill it," she starts, and I shake my head. "Good. Neither do I. Should we capture it and then release it back into the wild?"
"Sounds like a plan." I grin. We both grab small buckets and boxes to catch it, and wait in the middle of my room back to back in silence. After about half an hour, it hasn't made another sound. "Should we try to scare it? Maybe it/ll come out if we do," I whisper.
"Okay." I make an eagle noise, and Penelope laughs.
"You need to too!" I grin, spinning around quickly to poke her in the side. She giggles then makes a menacing noise to the mouse. We hear it squeak again, and I spot it run across the floor. I dash towards it, throwing down my cage. Unfortunately, I don't get it. Penelope runs to the opposite side of the room, doing the same thing. "Did you catch it?"
"Nope." She sighs, returning to the center of the room. We spend another hour doing this, frantically trying to capture the little beast.
"I don't think we're going to get it tonight." I exhale, annoyed that it woke her up.
"Me neither," she yawns.
"You should go to bed." I tell her. She lies on the bed, and I tuck her in.
"Are you still going to the lounge?" she asks, her smile fading a bit.
"Not if you don't want me to." I grin, taking the place next to her. I wrap my arm around her and she nestles her head into my side.
"Thanks Dan," she says into my chest. "For everything."
I tighten my grip around her as a response, running my fingers through her soft hair. Eventually, she falls back asleep, and I soon follow.
Hey guys! YAY a new chapter! I am so sorry it took so long for me to update, I've had a really hectic week :( Thank you SO much for all of the positive feedback, I absolutely love hearing what you think! Stay amazing <3