*Phil's POV* (if you are really sensitive to like blood descriptions then this chapter is kinda bleg for you toward the end, you'll probably realize when its coming tho so ye ok just want u to be safe little crusty ones)
I didn't dare to look away from the screen as my hand fumbled out of the blankets, blind in it's journey. It did eventually find the popcorn bowl though, only after a few very frustrated seconds of flailing around uselessly over the blankets and couch cushions. I nearly tipped it over when the lighting on the screen changed suddenly to a brighter scene, thankfully managed to grab the rim just before it toppled off the edge onto the floor. I gave a loud breath of relief, tearing my gaze away from the screen and forcing myself to pay attention this time as I delicately moved the bowl back onto my lap. I'd moved it away in fear of spilling its contents in the first place, but I figured it was an equal risk anywhere I set it now. I got the strange sense of deja vu from my actions, knowing this was how I reacted every single time I tried to watch this show, yet I was determined to get through it.
Everyone I associated with had been ranting and raving about it for months now, to the point I had no choice but to look into the show. Much to my surprise, it wasn't just meaningless jump-scares and spooky scenes, it actually did prove to have a very interesting plot. I guess that's why I hadn't given up the second things got too scary for me to handle, instead struggling through each episode and ending up near traumatized when the credits finally rolled around.
I guess that's why I'd been so hopeful earlier when I'd asked Dan to join me watching it, thinking childishly that his presence might help my suffering. Of course I would have to mask how utterly terrified I truly was to impress him, but something about not being completely alone in the room while watching it seemed a lot more welcoming. In truth, I was only a few episodes into the first season, I'd be more than willing to re-watch them in order for Dan to catch up. I couldn't really do that if he didn't even want to though, sadly.
So instead I'd sat up and watched further alone tonight, while Dan locked himself in his room for 'work related stuff'. Despite the fact I knew he was lying just so he wouldn't have to spend time with me, I tried my hardest to pretend I didn't, even wishing him luck with the business junk. My intention wasn't to make him feel guilty or anything, more to just let him know I realized he was lying and I wasn't bothered by that. I mean, I was, but I had no right to be after moving in with the understanding we weren't going to become friends. I never imagined he was this serious about not growing any closer with me, but either way, I had agreed to move in with him under his terms. I just really wished they'd be a little bit more lenient terms.
We'd been living together for over a week now, without an ounce of progress. There hadn't really been much interaction in order to make progress either, but it's not like it's my fault, he was the one that simply refused any and all of my advances. It's not that I wanted to give up, but I was running out of options and running low on patience here. It was just so frustrating, reaching out time and time again only to have your hand slapped away. I promised myself to be patient and determined, that I wouldn't give in until I got my way and I could at least consider him a friend, but I wasn't sure how much of this I could take. It just made me feel so worthless, to the point I was left up late at night wondering what I was doing wrong. He was the one in the wrong, not me, but the lines of that reality were becoming more and more blurred with each negative reaction I got from him when I was hoping for and expecting a positive one. It was draining me, he was draining me, and I just didn't know how much of me was left to drain.
But what options did that really leave me with? I could move out, but that'd mean living with my parents until I found a new place, considering I'd feel horrible looking for another roommate with my current one just in the other room. I could stay and just give up, but I really wasn't so sure if I could do that at all. I was a sociable person, the main reason I'd looked into a roommate was for the company and the feeling of not being completely alone, not so much for financial reasons. Walking around the apartment uneasy, tense, and unsure all of the time, forever, that hardly sounded appealing. Then that left what I'd been choosing for days now; to keep on pushing through and insisting to myself that I was simply overreacting, that I could do this if I put my mind to it and refused to give up. It had always worked in the past, I had every right to assume it would this time too. Except for the fact that possibly you can only win so many times before inevitably life presents you with a loss, but I'd already made up my mind again to keep on trying, so those negative thoughts were hardly welcome in my mind right now.
I only realized how far I'd drifted into my thoughts when a loud blood-curdling scream left the television speakers, making me startle considerably. The popcorn bowl flew just like I'd expected it to, my legs and arms flailing to the point I ended up kneeing myself in the face at the height of my fright. I gave a low whine as I pressed two fingers to the space just above my upper lip, holding my breath as I waited to see if I'd managed to give myself a bloody nose. Much to my delight, my hand pulled away clear from any of the crimson liquid, relief spreading through me at a quick space. I wasn't exactly good with blood, which was funny considering how many accidents I seemed to have resulting in it. However, this was not one of them, so instead the worst of my problems were simply to live through the rest of the episode without another scare like that and to make sure I cleaned up the mess I'd made of the living room, noting the fact the rogue popcorn bowl had also knocked over my tall glass of water.
I leaned forward to pick it up, my eyes widening considerably when I spotted my phone amid the mess, the water soaking through the carpet toward it. I gasped, jolting forward to grab it. My fingers had only just wrapped around the rectangular object when a loud noise echoed through the room and had me jumping with a squeal all over again.
"Phil!" It was only after a few more seconds of panting with my hand clutching my chest that I realized the loud noises actually took on the forms of words, realization washing over me as I slowly looked over my right shoulder. Sure enough, Dan appeared in the doorway a few seconds later, making it clear he'd been shouting on his way to the room. I was still breathing heavily and my heart was still racing, but I definitely wasn't as scared now that I knew it was a possessed angry demon or burglar or something.
Then again, after a moment studying his features and realizing what kind of mood he was in, I had to wonder if it really was such a relief to see him instead of the former. His usually calm and indifferent exterior had morphed into a completely irritated one, his eyes narrowed into dark slits and hands balled into fists at his sides. I was confused as to why until I let my eyes wander from his face, realizing he was now wearing a much baggier shirt and lacked pants as far as I could tell, though they may have just been very short shorts considering the shirt covered everything above mid-thigh. If it were anyone else, anyone I was remotely close to, I might have made a jab or laughed about how it looked like he was wearing a nightgown. But this was Dan, a very upset, eyeing my mess with an unimpressed expression, clearly stirred from his beloved sleep, Dan, that was not something to be messed with.
"Yes?" I asked, pride surging through me when my response came out smoothly without interruption, despite how incredibly nervous I felt under his harsh stare. He narrowed his eyes once more before letting them flicker away from me, raking them over the condition of the room yet again. They landed on the screen in the end, a foreign spark of interest causing them to alight as he watched the events take place on the screen. I knew I was hardly in the position to feel that way, but there was no denying the niggling hopeful feeling the longer he let his gaze linger on the television. It was a treacherous emotion, especially when deep down I knew there was still next to no chance he'd ever consider spending time with me and watching the show, but that didn't stop me from feeling it.
"What the hell are you doing?" He replied finally, tone a weird mixture of indifferent and amused, oddly lacking the anger I'd expected to hear. That really didn't help that stupid feeling washing over me, thinking he might actually be opening up to me in the slightest, but I brushed those thoughts off, steeling myself instead as I thought out the way to word my explanation.
"Watching a show." I answered simply, deciding he probably didn't care enough to hear any further details. He nodded slowly, seemingly distracted as he studied the screen again. I waited patiently for him to speak another time, but when the seconds multiplied into minutes without any interruption, instead I found myself sinking ever-carefully back against the couch. My heart was racing with excitement to the point I had to fight to keep a stupid kind of grin off my face, but I somehow managed to pull it off and continue watching the show in silence with a relatively casual expression. After all, it's not like he'd launched himself onto the couch and asked to watch with me or anything, he was still lingering in the doorway and ready to leave at any time. Still, it felt like some sort of progress, however small, that he was willing to even be in the same room as me for longer than a minute.
The episode was nearly over and I was quite ecstatic there hadn't been anymore jump-scares throughout the course of it, meaning I managed to get by without making a total fool of myself when someone else could see. That meant I never got to test my theory either though, that it'd be easier for me to get through scary parts with someone else watching with me. I suppose it really could still go either way. I may have felt more comfortable with what was happening on the screen currently, but that might only be because of the fact I'm so uncomfortable and tense with what is happening off-screen right now. Not that I minded having Dan in the room, it was the complete opposite actually, but that didn't change the fact that I had subconsciously really started to question everything I did around him. It was like a constant effort to impress him, to be good enough for his standards, it almost felt like re-living junior high all over again.
"Do you always eat your popcorn off the floor when you watch shows?" With his unexpected words came the inevitable moment where I embarrassed myself in front of him, considering the simple uttered sentence had me jumping out of my seat and clutching wildly to the cushions of the couch just to make sure I didn't topple to the messy floor given my blanket-burrito state. Despite the fact I caught myself before I landed in the mess of water and popcorn, I was still the idiot who jumped over something as small as him speaking up after a few long moments of silence.
I tucked my lips in to form a tight line, mentally scolding myself for messing up so horribly after how well things had been going. I wasn't sure when I reached a point of desperation in the need to befriend him that I considered standing in the same room not talking 'things going well' but again, I didn't dwell on that. I had more important things to worry about, like the fact I was now in an awkward slumped-over-the-couch position with all of my limbs thoroughly entwined in the rolls of blanket surrounding my body.
"Only when they're scary ones." I muttered through gritted teeth as I slowly started to squirm back onto the cushions, likely looking like an inch worm with some sort of major disability. I breathed a long sigh of relief as I collapsed back across the couch, only to tense considerably when I opened my eyes again and realized my head fell to rest in Dan's spot on the couch. My movements were more frantic than even before as I scrambled to get out of the blankets and into a proper position, only realizing once I was sitting up and breathing evenly again that I had made an even worse example of myself, that there really wasn't any way to cover up what I'd been so panic-stricken over.
My eyes were wide and tentative as they trailed upward, locking with Dan's. I expected them to hold their usual unimpressed silent criticism, hence why I was so outright confused to see them crinkled up by the corners, the closest thing to a genuine smile I'd seen yet on his lips. He rolled his eyes when he realized I was staring, lifting a fist and coughing into it to clear his throat as his eyes darted back to the screen.
"Perhaps you should steer clear of those ones then." He replied simply, hand still covering his mouth and making the words come out slightly distorted. I still blushed though, nodding my head obediently. Maybe he was right, I wasn't really cut out for scary things anyway. He seemed pleased I'd just agreed with him rather than fighting against his suggestion, turning to me with another smile, the gesture looking just as weird and unnatural as the first one. I wanted to accredit all the smiles to making actual progress, but realistically it probably had more to do with the fact he was half past the point of exhaustion after being woken up. That's the only thing that'd make sense, huh? The only reason Dan Howell would ever communicate with me is if he was in some sort of delusional state. "I'm sure me and all of our neighbors will thank you for it." He added in a softer tone, one I didn't really notice given the downward self-deprecating spiral my thoughts were taking all over again. Instead I just continued to stare down at my lap, squaring my shoulders and nodding tensely.
"Right, sorry." I muttered, my own tone coming across almost bitter with how miserable I suddenly felt. It's not that I don't appreciate the fact he's talking to me at all, it's just not enough. I want something solid that proves we're actually getting somewhere in our friendship. Can you even call this a friendship? I don't think you can, technically at least. The sad thing is, it's probably still the closest thing he has to one, and he wants nothing do with it.
"Night, Phil. Try to keep it down." I blinked, looking up in a slight daze at the heartfelt words. He blushed when our eyes met, giving a curt awkward nod before turning and leaving the room. As if on cue, the second he'd stepped through the doorway the credits for that episode started to roll, making me realize he'd probably timed it that way purposely. At least now I know he would be interested in the show, just not in spending time with me.
"I will." I mumbled quietly, despite knowing he was already gone and probably wouldn't hear the promise. I decided to end it on a high note and forgo watching the next episode tonight, knowing I'd probably only managed to embarrass myself and annoy everyone else impossibly further if I attempted it again. So that left me with my next order of business, a distorted grumbled sigh leaving my lips as I looked down at the state of the floor. I couldn't exactly leave it there for Dan to clean up, he'd probably disown me or something. Instead I was forced to get up and get to work cleaning up the ruined rug when it was past midnight and all I really wanted was to fall into my bed.
I'd just gotten down on my hands and knees to start cleaning when my eyes landed on my phone, realizing I hadn't finished picking it up after Dan startled me. I grabbed it now and pulled a face seeing the stray pieces of kernels sticking to the screen, but ultimately something else entirely was what ruined my mood. Inevitably my eyes fell on the snapped cord of my headphones, my mind jumping to the immediate conclusion that it must have been under my foot when I jumped and yanked my phone up, meaning the cord really had no choice but to face the tension and snap. Those were freaking expensive quality headphones, the ones I used for my online gaming more than I did anything else. "Crap." I groaned to myself, deciding there wasn't really anything I could do about it now. I'd long ago learnt not to get too worked up over my horrible luck, what's the use in crying over spilled milk, right?
So I tossed them into the bin before continuing my work of plucking each and every popcorn kernel off the floor, knowing for a fact that Dan didn't own a vacuum. I guess he didn't really need to, the only carpeted surfaces in the apartment were the rugs and mats he had set out in each room, all of which could be cleaned up simply by being beaten out or washed.
By the time I finally fell into the comfortable confines of my bed I looked about as approachable as Dan had when he first woke up. The difference was no amount of good TV was going to turn my mood around now, the only thing that could cure what was ailing me was a good few hours of sleep.
I snuggled under the covers with hooded eyes, sighing in relief as I relaxed down against the mattress and let my weary limbs rest. I yawned loudly in satisfaction before I let my mind start to wander. It wasn't really to any one specific topic, it was everything and anything all at once and if I was asked to repeat any of it I doubted I'd be able to succeed. It was sleep-riddled useless babble that held no real meaning, other than the fact it indicated how close I was getting to sleep the more senseless it got. To be honest, I was probably on the very brink of finally falling into a deep state of sleep when the first of many infuriating noises flew directly through the thin walls of my bedroom.
"Harder!" My eyes fluttered open in time with the irritated groan leaving my lips, an almost horrified expression finding my features as I realized exactly what the situation was. Anyone else and I may have tried to hold on to my optimism, assume that they were just hammering nails or something and that's why they were shouting such things. But this was our neighbors, the ones I'd been warned about prior to moving in, the ones that had already spent half of their nights in the past week since I moved in 'going at it' (in Dan's words, not mine). There really wasn't an ounce of a chance that they weren't doing exactly what it sounded like they were doing. It never really bothered me too much before, but that was solely because I had headphones to drown it out. To actually have to listen to the absurdly loud noises they made- God help me, I don't know if I'm going to get through the night.
"Oh fuck! T-Troye, do that again!" I gave a pathetic whine as I buried my face into the pillows, using my hands to bring up the corners and cover my ears. It didn't really even muffle the noises, much to my dismay, so I was stuck listening to them even with the effort. It was an almost constant stream of moans and noises, to the point I found myself wondering if they were filming a porno or something because no one is that vocal in normal sex. Then I realized I was actually considering and thinking about my gay neighbor's sex life, which quickly led to me rolling out of bed in pure frustration.
I raked two hands through my hair, tugging at the unwashed strands in irritation as I lumbered over to look at myself in the mirror. The bags already forming under my eyes had me looking like a walking reincarnation of Frankenstein's monster and I really wasn't looking forward to having to work tomorrow. I grumbled miserably under my breath as I slipped out of my room, deciding sleep was simply not an option at this point.
Instead I ventured to the washroom, leaning over the sink forlornly and splashing cold water over my face in a desperate attempt to make the gross feeling I had go away already. It didn't really work, but neither had I expected it to. I slumped further onto the counter, shoving my face completely under the stream of water. It didn't cover up the noises like I'd hoped either, only really succeeding in changing temperature rapidly and ending up burning my cheek. I jumped back and clamped a hand over the affected skin, wincing as my eyes flickered up to stare at myself in the mirror. It was only then that the memories from the show earlier came rushing back to me, my throat feeling suddenly dry as I studied the darkness in the reflection behind me. What kind of idiot forgets to turn on the bathroom light before walking inside?
I ducked out of that room quickly then, my heart racing as I quickly speed-walked down the hallway, each step precise and determined to get me back to my room as soon as possible. I couldn't shake the unnerved feeling that had fallen over me now, yet another reason I really need to stop watching those scary shows. They get to my head and make me think things completely ludicrous, such as worrying about ghosts and demons and the likes trailing me around my apartment. Why would anything like that waste it's time around someone as incredibly unexciting as me anyway?
I was just about back to my door, my breathing rapid and hands shaking nervously at my sides, when an unmistakable creek of a door behind me had me stuttering to a stop, my entire body freezing. I was petrified, taking a good few seconds to consider before ever-so-slowly looking over my shoulder toward the bathroom. I narrowed my eyes questioningly, certain it was shut just a little bit further when I left. I started to turn around again faster then, though I didn't really succeed in getting any closer to my destination before I was glued to the spot all over again by a clammy hand grabbing my wrist.
"What do you want?!" I squealed, ripping my arm away from it's clutches and instead pinning it to my chest. I jumped across to the other side of the hall and let my back rest against the solid wall, looking at the spot that'd been behind me moments ago with wide eyes. A sinking feeling hit my stomach like a tidal wave when my eyes took in the real situation, a shocked Dan standing gobsmacked in his doorway. I let out the breath I'd been holding, relief and embarrassment washing over me in equal amounts. Of course I was imagining the stupid bathroom door thing, it was Dan's door just behind me that must have opened. God, I really have to stop watching that show. "I, uh, sorry about that. Scary shows." I muttered sheepishly, rubbing the back of my neck nervously as I carefully peeled myself off the wall I'd practically plastered my back against. He nodded understandingly, though his eyes told a different story as they still held that wary confusion.
"Right. Anyway, I was wondering if, well, you wanted-" He was interrupted suddenly by another ear-splitting moan from somewhere else on our floor. Our expressions of embarrassed horror matched as our eyes locked, the moment instantly a hundred times more awkward than his stuttering ever could have achieved. It took us a few seconds in the following silence before he cleared his throat and took advantage of the chance to speak uninterrupted. "I was wondering if you needed headphones, I have a spare pair." He blurted out, rushing the sentence and ending up jumbling his words together, but he did manage to get it all out before another noise penetrated the silence.
"Really?! You would be a lifesaver!" I beamed, only realizing after I'd said it how childishly excited and thankful I sounded. I snapped my jaw shut, blushing as I decided to backtrack a bit, not sure how to take his expressionless reaction. "I mean, yes, I could really use them. They," I paused, nudging my head in the direction of the sounds, "They are very-"
"Annoying, horrible, disgusting-" He listed off immediately, before I even managed to get my full sentence out. I chuckled, shaking my head as a smile found my lips at how predictable of him the interjection was.
"I was just going to say loud actually." I responded, my lips still curled up in laughter. He blinked, looking a little dumbstruck for a few seconds before shaking his head dismissively.
"Of course you were." He whispered under his breath, so quiet I wasn't sure I was supposed to hear it. I was planning on questioning him on it for a change, when instead he shoved his hand toward me, opening his fist to reveal the bunched up headphones. "Here."
"Thanks, I'll buy a new pair tomorrow and you can have them back." I explained, taking them delicately from his palm. He immediately curled it back into a fist after I did, returning it to his side firmly. He seemed unsure of what to say for a few seconds as our eyes flickered between the object in my hands and the floor, the dark hallway lacking much else to look at. Eventually he did speak up, apparently realizing silence wasn't going to get us out of the situation easily.
"Don't worry about it, like I said, they're a spare p-"
"Don't stop!" We both jumped in unison at the practical scream that came from next-door this time. I even turned my head to look in their direction in shock of the noise, but it was Dan's muttered response that had me looking back in his direction.
"Please stop." He groaned, lifting his hands to cover his ears in a show of annoyance. I grinned, nodding my head eagerly to show I related to him. His gaze lingered on my face for a few seconds longer, apparently surprised by the amusement I found in his words, but he didn't let the emotion show for long before he was steeling his expression again, nodding once more. "Night."
"Night." I mouthed as he was already turning and disappearing into his dimly-lit room. He didn't look back before closing the door in my face, but I didn't really mind, a familiar feeling of hope surging through me. Ridiculed by sleep or not, that was definitely Dan Howell reaching out to me, it had to be. He couldn't really claim not to care at all when he'd gone out of his way to get out of bed and face an awkward situation just to help me out. He might not realize it entirely, and it might even be a little questionable to me at times, but we are making progress, however small. I can't give up yet.
--
The next morning I woke up with a renewed vigor, a smile instantly on my face from the second I opened my eyes onward. I couldn't shake the incomprehensible good mood, likely a result of all the conclusions I'd came to last night while half asleep. After realizing that we were making some sort of progress, there was simply no stopping the optimistic and eager thoughts. Now that I knew it wasn't completely impossible, I was determined to succeed.
It started out showering and getting ready for the day with an energy I hadn't had in a while, the type of ecstatic that hardly ever found you but you appreciated greatly when it did. I was practically buzzing as I slipped and slid around the floors in my socked-feet, smiling like an idiot to myself despite the fact I wasn't allowed to turn on music to match my mood. I considered doing it anyway, before remembering the entire reasoning behind my mood was the idea of befriending Dan properly, doing something he'd deliberately told me not to probably wouldn't help my cause.
So instead I embraced the silence, only finding myself humming three times throughout the course of getting ready that morning. By the time I was dressed and presentable I still had a good portion of my morning left before work, considering how quickly I'd flown through everything else. My initial thought was to possibly go out somewhere for breakfast and try a new little cafe or something, but a different idea entirely struck me when I walked past Dan's closed door for the fifth time that morning. He was going to be waking up soon probably, I'm certain even someone as closed off as him wouldn't be able to reject a food peace offering when he was still tired and lazy from just waking up. I'd make him breakfast and it'd work as a double excuse to talk to him as well as show I've not given up on getting close to him.
After that I set to work with the same gusto I'd had for everything else that morning, going all-out and cooking every cliche breakfast food I could think of. I wasn't really close enough to him yet to know any of his preferences, so I simply decided to try everything. Surely he couldn't complain if I gave him every option out there to choose from. Eggs, bacon, bagels, pancakes, waffles, I even broke out the old blender to make him a smoothie.
I just kept making things until eventually I ran out of ideas and found myself falling into one of the kitchen chairs, absentmindedly helping myself to some of the stock. I didn't really think he could eat all of that anyway, plus I was hungry after rushing around since waking up. I ate as slowly as possible as I stared longingly in the direction of the hallway, waiting for a sleepy mess of a Dan to stumble into the kitchen. Of course I was excited for him to get up and I wanted nothing more than to show off everything I'd made, but I knew better than to rush him out of slumber.
So instead I was left only with the option of waiting, an agonizing experience that had me re-thinking and doubting everything I'd done so far. What if I'd been reading too much into things last night and we actually hadn't made progress? Feeling bad for me really isn't the same as genuinely caring, is it? It was confusing and torturous and ultimately I jumped to my feet in an attempt to get the thoughts out of my head. I didn't like having to put this much consideration into every little thing I did. Instead I decided to busy myself with figuring out something new rather than questioning the things I already had.
I muttered under my breath as I walked around the kitchen cleaning up after myself, trying to come up with an acceptable way to greet him when he finally did wake up, and a way to explain why I decided to make him enough food to feed an army. It wasn't something I'd really thought about before now, but now that I'd considered it just once it was all I could think about. One awkward jumbled sentence could potentially ruin all that I'd put work into this morning, I had to get it perfect.
"Good morning! I figured we could eat breakfast together seeing as I woke up late today- No, that sounds like I'm insulting his sleeping schedule." I muttered under my breath, correcting myself out loud as I worked determinedly at scrubbing the pancake mix off the counter. I dropped the cloth once I'd finished, looking thoughtful as I walked over to grab the egg carton and put it back in the fridge. "Mornin'! I decided to try and make up for waking you last night- Too clingy." I groaned as the sound of the refrigerator door closing found my ears. I let my hand slide off the handle slowly, my mind racing as I pieced together sentence after sentence mentally, trying to think of even one presentable thing to say. "Morning! I-" I didn't even get past that this time before giving up and draping myself over the kitchen island, a forlorn sigh leaving my lips as I buried my face into my arms. I had nothing, the only thing I'd really decided on was the fact that I was going to greet him. Perhaps that'll have to be enough though, considering I seem to have a serious lack of ideas.
Minutes passed and I was just as impatient as before, even getting out of my seat multiple times to walk over and glance down the hallway to check for life. The food was getting cold and my time before work was running out, my eyes in a constant limbo between the clock and Dan's doorway. I gave in half an hour before I had to leave, walking nervously down the hallway. I'd just check if he was awake, or if he was hungry, if not I'd leave him alone. It's not like it's a big deal, I only cooked all morning for him.
I knocked on his door tentatively as soon as I reached a place close enough that I could reach it, knowing for a fact that I'd chicken out if I didn't act immediately. What I didn't expect was for the simple movement to send his door slowly creaking open, making it clear it hadn't been latched shut completely. I cleared my throat, nervously poking my head through the small crack in the door. I knew from experience how little he appreciated me coming into his room unannounced, but this really was important and I did try to knock first.
"Dan?" I asked softly, my eyes finding his bed on the opposite side of the room quickly. I couldn't really see much of him in the position he was in, only the outline of his body in the blankets and the mess of brown hair flying everywhere poked just above where the blankets covered. I was about to brush it off as him being asleep and leave when a muttered response came, just not a distinguishable one. "What?" I asked gently, taking another step into the room in hopes of hearing him clearly.
"C-Cat, shut-up." He grumbled out, voice lower than I'd ever heard it before. It still held the same spiteful tone though, I noted.
"Cat?" I questioned, looking around the room warily and trying to figure out what the hell he was on about.
"Phil." He said quietly, shifting around in his bed and flailing his limbs uselessly.
"What?" I asked, walking closer nervously. I'd just reached the side of his bed when he spoke up once more, voice slightly more understandable now, an almost panicked tone to it.
"There's a... ghost." He managed, inhaling a heavy breath as soon as he'd finished speaking. I furrowed my brows as I stood on my tippy-toes, leaning slightly forward and just barely managing to get a view of his face in his position facing the other direction. Realization found my features when I saw his eyes were still lightly closed and his mouth opened in a tiny 'o' shape, the tiniest of drool trails found on his chin and pillow. I smiled despite myself, rocking back on my feet so I wasn't leaning over him.
"I guess you're just muttering nonsense, huh?" I chuckled quietly, wondering to myself if he was dreaming about the show from last night and if it was possible it'd affected him more than he let on. Why else would he be talking about ghosts in his sleep?
After that I headed back out to the kitchen, not at all surprised to see how much of my time I'd wasted trying to get a sensible response out of him while he was asleep. I definitely didn't have time to wait any longer so instead I carefully went to work covering everything up and packing it away so it wouldn't go bad no matter how long he decided to sleep-in for.
After I'd finished I made sure to locate a sticky note, biting my lip as I twirled my pen and debated what to write on it. I spoke aloud with each word I wrote, assuring myself that it sounded alright for when he found it. "Dan, this is for you. Sorry I couldn't wait for you to wake up, hope you slept well!" I nodded in conclusion before sticking it on top of the pile of food that was already positioned in the fridge, sighing in disappointment despite myself. I'm sure we'd get a chance to talk soon, just maybe not this morning. With that in mind, I turned and left the apartment without another glance in the direction of his door, knowing with my luck he'd probably wake up the second I went to leave.
--
"I'm heading out!" I called over my shoulder, pausing in the doorway to the shop. I leaned all of my weight to one side, growing impatient as I awaited Anthony's okay. I took a few steps backward in the end, my eyes widening in realization when I saw he was busy with a customer, hence the lack of reply. When he saw me lurking in the background though he chuckled, lifting a hand and waving me off.
"Alright, have a nice night." He exclaimed cheerily, earning a nod in response. All I got out of it was a curious lingering stare from the girl he was working with, her eyes narrowed in question and oddly hostile. I smiled back at her, gulping when she greeted the gesture with a scoff and flip of her hair as she turned back to face Anthony. Well, isn't she just a ray of sunshine?
"I will!" I shouted back to Anthony, purposely raising my voice over hers when she was speaking. It was definitely childish and not a way I should act around my customers, but she had no idea who I was anyway, it's her fault for giving me the stink-eye in the first place. I heard her sigh of annoyance just before ducking out of the building, an immaturely satisfied smile finding my lips.
Normally I would have been better at holding my cool than that, but today hadn't exactly gone smoothly so far. From paperwork not adding up, to dissatisfied customers, to Anthony showing up an hour late, it hadn't been the best day. But I motored through it anyway, reminding myself time and time again that I just had to look on the bright side of things. It took me a while to realize what the bright side was, before I came up with the idea of Dan's reaction to the food when I got home.
After thinking of that it was what I thought of every time my mood started to slowly travel downward, seeing Dan when I got home. I couldn't really decide if he was going to bring it up and thank me himself or if I'd be the one to try to subtly bring it up and he'd get all embarrassed and shut-off because of it, but it was interesting to ponder over and it definitely took my mind off the less-than-satisfactory aspects of my day. I guess it never really occurred to me that I probably shouldn't be this invested in something as small as befriending someone, but it's not like I could help it. It was the first thing in a long time that I hadn't been able to achieve easily, and that only made me want it impossibly more.
I still had a ton of errands to accomplish after work before I could go home though, a fact that plagued me as I walked toward the bus stop, dragging my feet along behind me. I wasn't sure what I was thinking earlier when I was all peppy and decided that walking to work was a good idea rather than just taking the car, but now that I remembered I was supposed to be getting groceries with my paycheck today I really wanted to murder past me for adding the inconvenience of public transport to my life. The supermarket with the best sales was located on the other side of town and it was easier for me to pay the bus fare than hail a taxi and pay the extra for the individual treatment. I wasn't really a fan of public transport of any kind, but a bus crammed full of crabby negative people was basically my worst nightmare. I stayed strong though, keeping my spirits up as I climbed the stairs and hunted down a seat.
Thankfully I managed to get one when I did, considering just the next stop had a huge group of people filtering onto the bus and stuffing it completely full. The bus driver waited until everyone was boarded and standing or sitting in appropriate places before taking off, leaving all of us to fend for ourselves in the over-packed vehicle. I sat back in my seat, debating letting my eyes fall shut before they fell on the woman in front of me. She was holding at least five bags on each of her arms, looking completely drained on the spot. Pity spread through me, multiplying until I couldn't fight it anymore and gave my beloved comfortable seat one last look.
"Excuse me." I spoke up, nodding toward her. She turned her head slowly, eyes boring into me in an unimpressed daze. Eventually she broke out of whatever thoughts she was having previously, instead raising an eyebrow and asking me to continue silently. "Do you want this seat?" I asked, stuttering over the words as her gaze hardened again, making me feel incredibly nervous.
"I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat!" She spat bitterly, eyes holding enough hostility to burn holes right through me. I watched in horror as everyone else surrounding us turned to stare, looking at me like I'd murdered a puppy with my bare hands.
"R-Right, sorry." I stuttered out, physically shaking as I shifted tensely in the spot. I looked down at my lap to avoid their harsh gazes, but it didn't really lessen the affect any, I still knew they were staring. I felt horrible, all because I'd been trying to help someone out. I hadn't even taken notice of her size, that was the last thing I cared about in people, but of course my good intentions had to be mistaken for the opposite yet again.
Just keep looking on the bright side, Phil, you can get through a couple hours of shopping.
--
Things didn't really look up any in the next few hours ahead of then either, a constant line-up of let-downs and disappointments that closely resembled that of the day I'd met Dan. I managed to knock over two different displays, misplace my wallet after getting to the checkout, notice I'd bought spoiled milk only after getting out of the store, and I managed to trip and skin both of my knees on the walk toward a place I could find a taxi. Of course I went with something more private after that mortifying experience on the bus, knowing for a fact it wasn't something I'd be able to live down for months.
Somehow I managed to last through the drive back to the apartment without any more crazy mishaps. Considering all the things that could go wrong while in a taxi were all pretty serious things, I was very thankful for that. I managed to pay him and get out of the car before I even embarrassed myself for the first time, so that was probably a record for how long I lasted seeming cool around someone for the first time meeting them. As always though, the fates were out to get me, my foot sinking directly into a two foot-deep pothole when I stepped out of the car. I groaned loudly, his head whipping around in confusion and asking what was wrong. I brushed it off quickly though, insisting everything was fine as I gathered the bags into my arms. He didn't seem convinced, but he did drive away accordingly after I turned and took a few steps away. I just hope he didn't notice that one of my legs was stained a putrid brown all the way up to the knee now.
At least the elevator had been repaired, that was about the only thing going for me today. I hauled myself and everything I was carrying into the small cubicle, jabbing the button before falling back against one of the walls and letting my eyes fall shut. It was only when a horrible lurching feeling and grinding noise occurred that I realized the elevator might not be as fixed as it looked. I groaned loudly, trying to figure out if I was still moving or not. I assumed not, until suddenly the doors flew open. I knew immediately that it wasn't the right floor, but I decided it was better than taking my chances with that contraption again, jumping through the doors before they managed to close on me. I had to walk down the entire hallway and then all the way back down two floors to our level, but at least I didn't die or end up trapped in a small dark space for hours on end.
I practically kicked the door off the hinges with how hard I opened it after unlocking it, stumbling into the kitchen and kicking off my messy pair of shoes. I took another step forward then, making sure I was out of the mud's path before dropping all the bags onto the floor as delicately as my mood allowed. I still had to be concerned for a moment if I'd broken anything, but ultimately I was too exhausted to care. I stepped over the bags and moved to drape out across the counter, yawning loudly as I let all of the muscles in my body relax, my eyes falling shut. If I didn't know better I probably would have fallen asleep right there, I definitely could have, but what I couldn't do was face Dan's disappointment when he inevitably found me and scolded me for it. So instead I scraped myself off the cold surface, running a hand through my hair before setting to work putting the groceries away.
I started with all the things that belonged in the cupboard, knowing I'd probably have to do some rearranging to fit the refrigerated stuff inside, something I wasn't really up to right now. By the time I was done with all the stuff that didn't need to be kept cold I was starting to feel the tiniest bit better, even managing to force a smile on my features as I picked up one of the bags left and turned to open the fridge door. The smile shattered immediately though upon seeing all the food I'd made earlier still sitting exactly where I'd left it, obviously untouched.
"He didn't even consider it." I whispered to myself, disappointment seeping through me stronger than it had at any point today. I guess possibly because this was the thing I'd been counting on to make all the others worth it, and it fell through just like the rest. I was still gaping at the scene when my phone buzzed in my pocket. I kept my eyes glued to the contents of the fridge until I'd fished my phone out and had it where I could see it. I looked down, skimming over the newly-received text with disinterest.
From: Dan. Sent: 6:56pm
"Hey, I'm out getting groceries. Text if you want anything."
I meant to shove the phone back into my pocket without replying, but I hadn't really expected it to be Dan either. I wasn't entirely sure why, but something about the casual yet still withdrawn atmosphere he managed to provide even through text was absolutely infuriating to me right now. I couldn't tell anymore if it was my problem for hoping for anything else from him or his problem for being that way in the first place. It was a muddled mess and I really wanted nothing to do with the emotions I was feeling right now.
Thankfully, I'd learnt long ago the best way to distract yourself from your own mind was to do something that enveloped you enough you simply didn't have the time to think. My personal cure had been taking up jogging, something that worked out surprising well for me considering the fact I was a scrawny nerdy kid in eight grade when I started. It was exactly what I needed right now, to throw myself into something so physically my thoughts seemed meaningless.
The rest of putting the groceries away was rushed and messy, but it's not like it really mattered. I was only being so neat to impress Dan anyway, but seeing as that's seemingly impossible it's kind of pointless. I spent the time shoving useless food into it's place to consider where I was going to run, ultimately deciding that now was as good a time as any to finally get back into the daily motion of running and check out the park beside our apartment building. I'd been meaning to since moving in, I'd just gotten so caught up in work and befriending my roommate it ended up put on the backburner. It was literally beside our building, it wasn't like it ever would have taken too long to go over to it. But I'd do it now and it'd work just the same.
--
After half an hour of running around the park aimlessly, as fast as my body allowed me to, I was starting to really forget what I was upset over in the first place. I was, however, getting pretty tired out and sweaty, so maybe it was time for a bit of a break after all. The sun was just beginning to set and I decided it wasn't really such a bad view to have as I jogged calmly toward the area of the park set aside for picnic-goers and people in general that were more interested in sitting around than anything else. There was a multitude of picnic tables, benches, barbecues, and a very unappealing looking port-a-potty for anyone desperate enough to use it. I was just there for a place to sit though, preferably one that didn't reek worse than a sewer, hence why I chose the picnic table set furthest away from all the rest.
I grinned up at the sky, still panting slightly as I examined the brightly stained clouds decorating the atmosphere. It was definitely setting a cheerful mood, even if I wasn't completely ready to abandon my bitter one quite yet. I would be soon though, feeling better the longer I stayed sitting in the different place. It definitely took my mind off all the stupid things troubling me right now, that's for sure.
"He's so cute!" I furrowed my brows, confused about the meaning behind the shrill squeal that had dragged me out of my thoughts. I looked to my right tentatively, eyes widening when I saw the scene taking place at the table just a few away from mine. It was the one set at the bottom of a large tree, a tree that a squirrel was currently running down as quickly as it's legs could carry it. I watched in rapt fascination as it hopped off the trunk and directly onto the table, despite the array of people seated around it and all the loud noises they were making.
It looked like a club or group of some sort, most of the people being younger girls aside from the one older woman wearing some kind of uniform. Girl scouts, possibly, but whatever it was they all seemed very excited to be there. I leaned forward to watch as the squirrel made it's way across the table, pausing and shifting in the spot once it had stopped in front of the older woman.
"The squirrels here are the tamest in the country, they eat right out of your hand!" She exclaimed loudly, sticking her palm into the air and making sure all the girls got a view of the food in her hand. My curiosity was definitely peaked now and my legs seemed to carry themselves as I got up and wandered over in their direction, standing a few feet back and watching as she lowered her open hand down to the table. My fell open in awe as the squirrel crawled right on, happily sitting back on it's hind legs and getting to work stuffing as many of the nuts as possible into it's mouth at once.
After it was satisfied with the amount it was quick to turn around and speed back up the tree, disappearing into the branches high above our heads. I continued to stare where it had disappeared from, until the woman's voice brought me back out of my stupor again.
"Who would like to try next?" She asked, looking around the group. She still seemed oblivious to my presence but I didn't mind, watching as all the little girls shook their heads. I heard muffled mutters about being too scared and some of them daring the others to do it, but no one stepped forward. The leader was beginning to look frustrated when her eyes fell on me, narrowing in a hostile questioning gaze, clearly unsure of my intentions. I cleared my throat awkwardly, surely blushing to my core.
"Can I try?" I asked quietly, watching as the entire group turned to gawk at me one by one. The woman still seemed to be silently judging me, but after a few long seconds she nodded her head and outreached her hand in my direction. I stepped forward and took the food into both of my hands, listening carefully as she spoke up again.
"Try not to move your hands too much and obviously no sudden movements or anything that might frighten him. They're tame as can be, but they are still wild animals and therefore, very unpredictable." I nodded my head obediently, sitting on the bench and holding my breath as I pressed my hands to the table just like she had, palms up. I waited patiently and was beginning to wonder if my bad luck had struck again when the furry creature appeared again, scurrying down the bark eagerly. It jumped onto the table, looking around warily as it noticed the change in the situation.
It took another tentative step forward, only to jump back the distance of two steps when I breathed just a little too heavy. I looked toward the woman again for guidance but she just nodded her head, urging me on in silence. I stayed as still and silent as possible as it crept forward again, trying desperately to mask the excitement I felt when it finally reached my hands and didn't rush away immediately. "Hey little guy, aren't you just adorable?" I breathed out, just barely loud enough to be heard. It'd head turned up though, studying me curiously through its beady black eyes. It tilted it's head slowly to the side as it's paws reached out and picked up the first piece of food. It lifted it to it's mouth slowly and began to nibble halfheartedly, still not looking entirely comfortable with the situation like it had before.
"It's nervous, try speaking to it calmly." I wasn't sure if this was such a good idea and that it wouldn't just make it even more scared of me, but I decided to follow her advice. After all, she did seem to be some sort of voice of authority on the topic, better than me at least.
"It's okay, I'm just as scared of you as you are of me, trust me. Why don't we both just agree to-" I didn't get to finish my sentence before an ear-splintering wail came from my right and I whipped my head in that direction, seeing one of the girls must have fallen and hurt herself. I watched as everyone rushed to circle around her and make sure she was okay, only remembering what I was doing after a few seconds of being concerned.
"Are you okay, Teresa?"
I looked back to the rodent ever-so-slowly, pacing myself as not to startle it. I smiled widely when I saw it was still seated in the same place, relief rushing through me as it stared into my eyes in what seemed to be a content manner. To be fair, I couldn't really speak or understand squirrel enough to have any idea what it was thinking. It stepped forward suddenly, standing entirely on my hands and continuing to stare up at me. It blinked a few times, tilting it's head from side to side, apparently forever assessing the situation and making sure it was in safety.
"Don't worry, I'm not gonna hurt you." I assured it, watching it turn it's head back to stare at me after I spoke, almost like it could understand what I was saying. It kept it's eyes focused on mine as it slowly bent over again, paws feeling around my palm until it located another food morsel. Instead of picking it up like the last one though, it ducked it's head lower to eat it directly out of my palm. I automatically jumped to the conclusion this meant it was trusting me more, grinning again as I held my hand as still as possible.
I felt it's tongue lap over my skin first, expecting it to stuff the entire nut into it's mouth at once and rush away, but it didn't. Instead it continued to linger, sniffing at my hand intently. "Do I smell good or something?" I laughed quietly, watching as it looked back up at me, eyes narrowed like it was offended I'd interrupted it's focus. I was considering speaking up again and apologizing when it continued to stare, but that plan flew out the window when it suddenly ducked it's head again at rapid-speed, faster than I thought it possible for a creature of it's size to move. I barely had time to realize what was happening before the immense pain shot through my entire arm, a choked, spluttered gasp leaving my lips as it's tiny teeth sunk into my flesh. "Ah! Jesus Christ!" I screamed, throwing my arm back in an attempt to fling it off. Apparently that wasn't going to work though, it's teeth only gripping tighter as it's claws went to work scratching and digging in in an attempt to stay locked onto my hand, clearly with the intention of doing some serious damage.
"Don't use the Lord's name in vain!" The woman from earlier shouted at me, clearly very offended by my choice of words.
"Sorry!" I shouted, the word coming across sounding more like an insult than the apology it was meant to be. Part of me did feel apologetic, just a very small part of me considering I had much worse things to worry about right now. I breathed heavily, practically panting through my clenched teeth as I tried to pry the rodent off my hand. It's teeth had sunk directly into the web between my pointer finger and thumb, so deep I had to wonder if it'd managed to bite all the way through the thin flesh.
"Is it biting you?" I looked up suddenly, staring at her in disbelief. How could she not realize that. The girls were all a few feet away, like they'd been planning on leaving me before realizing what was actually going on.
"Yes!" I shouted, biting my lip harshly and wiggling my hand again in a desperate attempt to get it to loosen it's painful grip.
"Oh no, don't fight against it, that'll make it clamp on harder." She explained, taking a tentative step toward me. I was blinking back tears now, not particularly fond of the idea of crying in front of a group of little girls but not really capable of holding them at bay either when I was in this much pain.
"Says you! It hurts, I'm not going to just sit here and take it!"
"Please stay calm." She said evenly, her voice completely unfazed while mine was high pitched and cracking on every second word. Easy for her to say, she is in a way better situation than me. She slowly sat beside me at the table as I barked my harsh reply, coming across way more angry than I intended yet again.
"I am calm!" I yelled, my arm still waving back and forth gently on the table, praying its jaw would get tired or something and it'd just give up on the torture it seemed set on performing on me. I didn't dare look down at it now though, considering I could feel the blood coating my hand and rolling off in droplets. Again, for someone who gets in more accidents a week than he can count on one hand, I do not do well with blood.
Suddenly it's steel jaw seemed to loosen, relief finding me as it slowly worked it's teeth out of my skin. I still couldn't look down though, just recoiling my hand as fast as possible and sheltering it to my chest. I tried to do the same with the other one when I realized it was still there, but a sinking realization of how late I was hit me along with the next wave of pain as it bit me again, this time directly on one of my fingertips. "Ah! It bit me again! Get it off! Kill it or something!" I knew I'd never say something like that in my right mind, but I wasn't exactly thinking straight now. All I was concentrating on was figuring out how to get it off of me and whether I could really feel it's teeth against my bone or if I was just being over-dramatic. Again, it's not like I could look down and check.
"Excuse you! How can you even talk about killing one of God's creatures, and around my pupils, you are just-" I cut her off, really not in a position right now to sit and listen to her preaching to me.
"Listen lady, I am in a lot of pain and I can't really filter what I'm s-saying like I should so-" I was cut off by another shot of pain shooting through my hand, a loud whine leaving my lips as I squeezed my eyes tightly shut, trying to stop the tears from falling. "Fuck!" I cursed, trying to figure out how the squirrel had managed to stop biting me and bite me all over again so quickly without me even noticing. Of course, her next words stirred me from my daze and made that clear to me.
"Is that another squirrel?" I gave a choked sob, shaking my head desperately. Where did the second one even come from? I didn't even provoke it? Am I the squirrel anti-Christ or something, what do they have against me? It's like they're all out to take me down or something. It's like the entire world is against me lately, to be honest.
"They really don't like you, mister." One of the girls observed, my eyes flickering in her direction as she stared curiously. I gasped suddenly as the pressure on my hand finally released, hearing rather than seeing it as the squirrels scampered away, chattering between themselves, apparently satisfied with the amount of bloodshed.
"I'm going to get rabies." I whispered, moving to hold both my hands to my chest, wrapping them up in my shirt. I could feel the blood seeping through the thin fabric almost immediately, but it was better than nothing.
"Actually, common misconception really, but squirrels don't regularly carry rabies. In order for them to contract it they'd have to spend time around animals that it's more common in and if they were they'd be eaten, so it's not really a huge concern!" The woman explained in what she probably thought was a helpful manner, standing with me as I got to my feet. In all honesty I felt a bit dizzy but it was probably just me overreacting again. I shook the feeling off as best I could, turning to face her with a bittersweet smile on my lips.
"Trust me, if there's anyone out there who would have luck bad enough to get bitten by the one squirrel on the planet with rabies, it'd be me. Thanks anyway though." I explained, rolling my eyes at how true my words were. It really would be my luck. I turned to leave, pausing when she cleared her throat and jogged alongside me, staring curiously.
"Do you want me to call someone?"
"My apartment's just next door, I'll be fine." I promised, nodding toward the building visible from here. It wasn't that far at all, I could definitely make it there in just a couple minutes. She nodded understandingly, eyeing me warily despite the information. I guess she still wasn't completely convinced it'd be honorable of her to leave me alone in this state. I cleared my throat, nodding toward the girls grouped behind her. "You should probably worry about Teresa and making sure they aren't all scarred for life of squirrels. I'll be fine."
"Okay." She sighed, still not sounding completely convinced. She did turn away though, jogging back to her group and kneeling down to examine the injured ankle of the earlier girl. I turned and started jogging then, approaching the apartment as quickly as possible and praying Dan would be home to open the door for me, still not really ecstatic to see the real state of my hands. I made it almost all the way there, to the parking lot just out front of the entrance, before I started to feel a little too nauseous to be moving so fast. I wasn't sure if it was from blood loss or the morbid route my thoughts were taking, but either way I decided it'd be best for me to walk from there on out.
I didn't bother even trying to risk it with the elevator this time around, instead taking the stairs two at a time to get to my destination as quickly as possible. I still hadn't looked down at the injuries, but judging by the worried glances everyone I walked past gave me, it couldn't look good.
I couldn't begin to explain the relief I felt when I finally reached our floor and stood on the mat outside of the door, kicking my foot against it obnoxiously. I knew Dan wouldn't appreciated, but I didn't feel like attempted to open a door with my incapable-feeling hands right now. When the seconds piled up I grew impatient, kicking louder and praying he actually was home now.
"Dan! Dan! Daniel-" The door flew open the second I used his full name, my eyes going comically wide and forgetting my own situation when I saw his state. He was wearing just a shirt like last night, except for today it didn't cover nearly as much, only a normal sized tee-shirt. He didn't seem pleased with the fact I'd allowed my gaze to wander at all, stomping his foot and leaning down so his face was in my line of view instead.
"What do you want?! I was in the middle of getting dressed!" He exclaimed, glaring at me bitterly. His eyes flickered downward just like mine had though, except of course, to a completely different kind of situation. His eyes widened and he gulped, taking a stumbling step backward, further into the kitchen. "Oh shit, are you okay?" He asked, the most concerned tone I'd ever heard dusting his voice. I chuckled, nodding my head and turning away from him as I instead headed toward the sink. I knew there was a first aid kit located under it, maybe this is something that can be treated at home.
"Yeah, it's just a tiny little squirrel bite or two-" I explained, cutting myself off when I looked down for the first time since the incident happened. I practically choked on my tongue when I saw the sorry state of my shirt, almost completely soaked and stained a deep crimson. My head was suddenly reeling, my throat feeling like it was opening and closing, blocked off by some mental lump that was only in my mind. It didn't stay there for long though, deciding to become a physical reality as bile stared to rise in my chest. "Oh." I concluded, deciding this probably wasn't as much of a 'tiny little squirrel bite' as I thought. It's bad.
I threw myself over the sink, attempting to use my hands to brace myself before remembering how useless they were and instead holding them over the sink as well, not wanting to accidentally stain Dan's kitchen mat. I burped once before spilling the contents of my stomach into the steel sink, choking and spluttering constantly throughout the process.
"Don't get it in the wounds you idiot! Here!" Dan shouted from behind me, grabbing both of my wrists and yanking them back. Only a moment later I felt a clean fabric wrap around them tightly, clearly with the intention of getting the blood to stop. I wasn't really sure if it was still bleeding or not, but the more I thought about it the more I wanted to bury my face in the sink further. "You're gonna need stitches or shots or something. God, how did this even happen? Did you try to rob a squirrel nest?" He sounded more like he was talking to himself than me, his hands moving deftly over mine as he wrapped them both in a tight shared impromptu bandage. I'd stopped puking now, feeling a bit better as I straightened up, though one word he'd said had my stomach reeling slightly all over again.
"Am I?" I questioned distractedly, my fuddled mind lingering on one thing he'd said that really stuck out to me. He looked up, staring at me in confusion. I coughed, deciding to elaborate further for him. "Going to need stitches?"
"I don't know, probably, I'm not a doctor." He scoffed in annoyance, even rolling his eyes discreetly as he finished up with the towel. I looked down, thankful to see any evidence of just how bad my hands were had been covered up, aside from my shirt of course. The moment of peace didn't last long though, remembering the topic we'd been on when I went to reply and instantly wishing I hadn't.
I turned to face him with hooded eyes, feeling groggy and sweaty as I studied his mixed expression.
"I hate stitches. The concept of a needle weaving in and out of your skin is just-" I gagged suddenly, unable to continue when I actually thought about the words coming out of my mouth. He hand flew forward, sinking into my side and shoving me back toward the sink roughly. I leaned over it obediently, though his amusing show of fear had me distracted enough to forget about my nausea for a moment.
"Don't you dare puke on me, Philip Lester or I will personally cram the eviction notice down your throat." He explained, stepping closer to me and setting a hand on my back, his touch so feather-light that it just barely ghosted over my skin, hardly enough for me to feel. I did though, the simple show of affection enough to bring a smile to my face and brighten up my mood even with all that was going on right now.
"Sounds painful." I observed with a quiet chuckle, looking back toward him. He shrugged, looking away to stare at the clock across the room. I took the opportunity to nervously look down at my feet, though my gaze lingered on the downward journey, ending up staring curiously at the way he was so firmly holding his shirt down in the front. Maybe I'd interrupted him sooner into the dressing process than I thought, a faint blush finding my cheeks as I forced my eyes back up to stare at anything else, hoping my thoughts would follow suit and find something less criminalizing to consider.
"You sound horrible, can you walk?" I blinked a few times to come back to the present, realizing he was speaking to me. I looked back to him and nodded, almost offended by he even had to question such things. Clearly I could walk, I was standing right in front of him. Sure, I'm a little nauseous and dizzy, but it's nothing that'd stop me.
"Yeah, it's really not that bad, I just don't do well with blood, I'll be fine. Anyway, I just came back to get my keys, I'm going to head to the hospital-"
"You're not driving like this, I'll take you." He sighed out, lifting his free hand to run through his hair roughly in an obvious show of frustration, the other one remaining clamped onto his shirt. I shook my head, ready to argue with him immediately. I didn't want to force him into this and make him go out of his way just because he feels bad for me and I'm an idiot. He doesn't deserve that and he doesn't have to, I'm perfectly capable of getting myself out of any messes I got myself into.
"You don't-"
"Trust me, I do, or I wouldn't bother." He said firmly, barely even giving me the chance to state my opinion, much less enforce it. I huffed, hanging my head in defeat. If I'd learned one thing about him so far it was how incredibly stubborn he is, unlike anyone I've ever met before. It wasn't worth fighting with him, I'd lose in the end anyway. "Alright, I'm going to go finish getting dressed. Do you want to change your shirt?"
"I'll just throw a jacket on over it, it'll be faster." I explained in a rush, earning a nod from him in response. He turned and quickly rushed to return to his room, though I didn't miss the way his hands had shifted to hold the shirt down in the back now, a slight chuckle leaving my lips at how flustered he was. Someone definitely wasn't a fan of public locker rooms in school, huh?
--
Only a few minutes later we found ourselves in my car, him behind the wheel while I was forcefully banished to sit in the passenger's seat. I had my ugliest jacket wrapped around my body and the useless lump both of my hands were in sitting in my lap, probably looking just as much like Frankenstein's monster now as I had last night. I watched the scenery fly past the window, making a mental note of what a reckless driver Dan seemed to be but knowing better than to ever say it aloud.
We were almost halfway there when I quiet chuckle had my head turning quickly to look at him in confusion. His eyes were still focused on the road and there wasn't really any sound in the vehicle, so I came to the automatic conclusion he was laughing at something private inside his mind. I started to look away in dismissal, not expecting it at all when he spoke me up and let me in on what was so entertaining to him all the sudden.
"A squirrel bit you?" He questioned, like the situation had only just sunk in now that all the initial panic had worn off. I groaned after a few seconds, considering it took me that long to recognize the foreign twist to his tone. He was teasing me. I hated being teased, but somehow that felt like some sort of major accomplishment when it came to Dan, considering he usually didn't even give me the benefit of teasing and poking fun.
"They were supposed to be tame, they let everyone else hand-feed them, then when I tried it-" I explained, my voice betraying me after I tried so hard to sound cool with my explanation, ending up sounding exactly as bitter and upset over the fact as I really felt. Why was I the one they hated so much when everyone else apparently considered them the tamest squirrels in the country?
"You are a giant toddler." He concluded quietly, his words a weird mixture of a statement and an observation. I crinkled my nose up in distaste at the odd insult he chose, instead attempting to steer the conversation in a different direction, not at all willing to just let a chance at communication with him die out.
"You can drive?" I asked, knowing this was obvious considering he was behind the wheel right now, but hoping he picked up on the silent questions behind the observation.
"I'm nineteen." He reminded me, sounding slightly irritated all the sudden. I sucked in a harsh breath, trying to reel it back in and hopefully keep from sliding all the way back down to square one. It was like a constant game of snakes and ladders with him, one wrong move and all your efforts can be rendered useless.
"Yeah, but why don't you have a c-"
"I can barely afford rent, let's not talk about vehicle, gas, and insurance prices right now." He concluded harshly, making me gulp and nod slowly. That made sense, he'd told me from the start he never would have looked into a roommate if it weren't for money purposes, he probably doesn't have it very easy then. Maybe he appreciates me buying the groceries most the time more than he cares to admit, especially considering his idea of 'groceries' seems to be the cheapest ramen, canned food, and junk food he can find on the shelves.
"Oh." I responded stupidly, wanting to say more but not entirely certain what to say. Apparently that wasn't it because it was only greeted by a cold silence from him, the atmosphere falling into a much less comfortable silence than it had been earlier. I shifted in my seat awkwardly, recognizing the vaguely familiar route and knowing we were only a few minutes from the hospital. I wasn't sure when I'd get a forced situation alone with him like this again, one where we could talk freely, so I blurted the first thing that came to mind in hopes of sparking conversation. "Thanks."
"For?"
"For driving me, it means a lot to-" I'd meant to go into some heartfelt explanation, but my eyes had fallen nervously to my lap in the middle of it, thus noticing the state of the towel-wrapped hands in my lap. Why on Earth would he grab a white towel of all colors? "It's soaking through the towel." I whispered, my head reeling as I watched the red spread across the white, enveloping the neutral color rapidly. The knowledge of what it was was what got to me though, my stomach lurching just as Dan swerved the car and pulled it over. He unbuckled us both and leaned over me quickly, like he'd had years of practice doing just this, before opening my door and shoving me toward the open exit.
"Out!" I stumbled out like he asked, probably looking like a baby fawn walking for the first time as I stood on my shaky legs, trying everything in my power not to fall over. Instead I just leaned over, retching loudly as I puked again. I wasn't sure what was left after earlier, but I didn't watch to find out either. One of the many things I could definitely live without knowing. It wasn't until I fell silent for a long moment that Dan did the opposite, speaking up in a quiet tone. "Are you okay?"
"Yep!" I beamed, grinning close-mouthed at him, deciding it best not to show teeth in worry of something still being stuck in them. After all, I was still trying to get on his good side and impress him. This would probably be a major setback, considering I was hardly good company to have in this state, but I still wasn't going to shed the idea completely. "Nice save!" I shouted enthusiastically, earning the opposite in response as he groaned and slumped forward, forehead falling to rest perfectly in-line with the top of the steering wheel. I heard his deep sigh, watching as he mussed up his hair and left it sticking up in all directions. He didn't try to correct it though, and I didn't point it out.
"God, what did I do to deserve this?"
"You're religious?" I asked hopefully as I climbed back into my seat, wondering if I might possibly be able to spark a conversation. He sat up after I got comfortable, his bland eyes boring into me.
"No, but I'm going to have to turn to some higher power if I expect to get through living with the likes of you for any amount of time."
A/n: YOYOYOOYO HEY WHATS UPPP, this chapter was supposed to turn out radder but it didn't and that's a-okay. At one point it took this really weird route where Dan was helping Phil get changed and I was like whaT AM I DOING?? WHERE IS THE PLOT?? And deleted it soooooo fast. anyway wtf its been like a month how are you guys?? Still breathing?? Just kidding man I know you're still breathing bc you ask me to update every single day haha god u guys are just grEAT. Anywaywaywayway, wait no actually that sounded kinda sarcastic but you guys really are great, I adore u so hard. So that's all really sorry its lame but im lame and my mind is lame and im in this lame place right now and if you expect me to do anything not lame for the next year then u are sorely mistaken. Edit by @OakleyPerf on twitter cool cool snool snool bye.