𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚎'𝚜 𝚙𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚟𝚒𝚎𝚠
𝚝𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚍𝚊𝚢, 𝚊𝚙𝚛𝚒𝚕 𝚝𝚠𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚎𝚝𝚑, 𝚝𝚠𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚢 𝚝𝚠𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚢-𝚘𝚗𝚎
CLANG.
I shot up, "What the fuck-" I was interrupted by the slamming of a pan? I looked over to see Aiden standing in my doorway with a spoon and a pot. He smirked before banging the spoon against the pot once more. I growled at Aiden, "I'm going to get you!"
I threw the covers off of me, getting ready to run. But that was until I felt the cold embrace my skin. I shivered, causing him to laugh, "Good luck with that, Lise." He teased cockily. I sent him a menacing look as I took a step forward. I watched as his face paled, he threw the pot farther down the hall before taking off running, presumably for his bedroom.
I smirked, "That's what I thought." I walked over to my dresser and took the outfit I'd picked last night in my arms. Then, I laid the red skirt, the strawberry top, and the jean jacket on my bed.
Very cute.
Today feels like a day for dressing up.
As I walk into the bathroom, I pass my guitar. I've only picked it up and played it once since I've moved home. I've even been having trouble singing, only being able to do it when I'm intoxicated.
I stripped off my clothes quickly, I was still freezing. I turned on the shower to hot before climbing in. I started to scrub the soap over my body, staring at my shampoo bottle. I'm lost in thought as I hear the slight beat in the water's pressure as it hits me and lands on the bottom of the tub.
unconsciously I started to sing, something I hadn't done in a long while. "𝑩𝒓𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒈𝒖𝒊𝒍𝒕𝒚 𝒆𝒚𝒆𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒍𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒊𝒕𝒆 𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒔," I was shocked. I had just sung a verse, I had done it! I felt my nails dig into my skin as I started again, "𝒚𝒆𝒂𝒉, 𝑰 𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒚𝒆𝒅 𝒅𝒖𝒎𝒃 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝑰 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒌𝒏𝒆𝒘."
My voice was shaky and my arms were read with new scratches, a result of my internal battle. I wanted more than anything to sing again, to play. It was my biggest passion, one that my mother had implored. That's why when she died, it seemed to have died with her.
But here, I have resurrected it somewhat.
I threw my hands down, a half considerate thought at protecting my arms. "𝑻𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖'𝒅 𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒌 𝒕𝒐 𝒉𝒆𝒓, 𝒎𝒂𝒚𝒃𝒆 𝒅𝒊𝒅 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒔𝒆; 𝑰 𝒌𝒆𝒑𝒕 𝒒𝒖𝒊𝒆𝒕 𝒔𝒐 𝑰 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒌𝒆𝒆𝒑 𝒚𝒐𝒖." The hot water cleansed my body, but the song cleansed my soul.
(𝙰.𝙽 - 𝙸 𝚜𝚊𝚒𝚍 𝚒𝚝 𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚛, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙸'𝚖 𝚐𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚊𝚢 𝚒𝚝 𝚗𝚘𝚠. 𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚞𝚜𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚕 𝚓𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚗𝚎𝚢 𝚘𝚏 𝚊 𝚑𝚒𝚐𝚑 𝚜𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚘𝚕 𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚕 𝚋𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚕𝚎𝚜, 𝙸'𝚕𝚕 𝚋𝚎 𝚞𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝙾𝚕𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚊 𝚁𝚘𝚍𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚘'𝚜 𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚊𝚜 "𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚜," 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚍𝚒𝚝, 𝚘𝚏 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜𝚎, 𝚐𝚘𝚎𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝙾𝚕𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚊. 𝙸𝚝'𝚜 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚕𝚘𝚕 𝚜𝚘 𝙸 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚒𝚝. 𝙸'𝚖 𝚊𝚕𝚜𝚘 𝚐𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚊𝚢 𝚒𝚝 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚊𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚛'𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚎 𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚎𝚗𝚍.)
I stood there for a moment, just smiling as I was doused in water. I watched as the soap went down the drain, I wanted to scream out in joy. This was a big step towards my future, and my well-being.
I picked up my shampoo bottle a little too aggressively, and as I squeezed some into my hands I accidentally dropped the bottle. I squealed, jumping to the side to avoid it. I couldn't help but laugh at myself as I started to scrub the soap into my hair.
Excitedly, I belted out the next of the lyrics I'd written. "𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒃𝒆𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒚𝒆𝒅 𝒎𝒆, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖'𝒍𝒍 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝒔𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒚 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒚 𝑰 𝒉𝒖𝒓𝒕, 𝒚𝒆𝒂𝒉." I scrubbed deeply into my hair, my nails scraping my scalp lightly. And I continued, "𝒀𝒐𝒖'𝒅 𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒌 𝒕𝒐 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒘𝒆 𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒐𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓, 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒔𝒕.. 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒅𝒊𝒅𝒏'𝒕 𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓."
As I rinsed my hair I was in awe of myself. What was this feeling I was feeling? Motivation? Satisfaction? Contentment? I felt fulfilled for sure, but something else lingered as I scrubbed conditioner onto the ends of my hair, keeping it away from my roots.
I swiped some shaving cream onto my legs and used my razor as a makeshift microphone, "𝑰𝒕 𝒕𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒕𝒘𝒐 𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒌𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒈𝒐 𝒐𝒇𝒇 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒅𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒉𝒆𝒓!" Though I was in a happy, healthy relationship with Zach, I still felt somehow connected to the song. Probably because it was one of my own.
(𝙰.𝙽- 𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗, 𝚒𝚝 𝚒𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝. 𝚕𝚘𝚕 𝙸 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚛𝚞𝚗 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚘 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚋𝚕𝚎𝚖𝚜 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚒𝚝, 𝚒𝚝 𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚏𝚞𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚍𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚍 :) 𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝙸 𝚊𝚖 𝚊 𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛, 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚊 𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛. 𝙸 𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚍, 𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚟𝚎 𝚖𝚎 𝙸 𝚍𝚒𝚍 𝚕𝚘𝚕.)
I started to shave my legs, strip by strip. "𝑮𝒖𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒅𝒊𝒅𝒏'𝒕 𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒕, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖'𝒓𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒂 𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒊𝒕𝒐𝒓!" When I was finished I turned off the water, wrapping a warm, fluffy towel tightly around me.
It felt so good to sing. Not only have I been struggling with it since my mother died, but I've always been picky about who heard my voice. I have anxiety and stage fright, hence why I can only do karaoke when I'm heavily intoxicated.
I hummed as I wrapped another towel around my hair, walking out into my room. I almost screamed when I saw Aiden sitting on my bed, legs crossed, a giant smile upon his face. "Ahh, there's a monster on my bed!" I yelled dramatically.
He rolled his eyes, "You sang."
"Thank you, Captain Obvious," I muttered under my breath as I shoved him off my bed, he had sat on my clothes.
He dusted off his jeans, "You haven't sung in such a long time."
I nodded and started to shoo him out of my bedroom, "Now leave, I have to get dressed for school, you orangutan." He gasped and I pretended to as well, "I'm so sorry, I just insulted an entire species."
He shook his head, "Very funny," before finally leaving. Though his words and the fact that he noticed meant a lot to me, he's still my brother. He's still the annoying orangutan I grew up with.
I dried my entire body before dressing myself. My hair was soaked, so I would have to blowdry it before school. I glanced at the clock and I seemed to have enough time. I put on my socks and my black hightops before I went back into the bathroom and started on my hair.
When I was finished I brushed out the tangles, and as I set down my hairbrush I heard Aiden's voice, loudly from across the house. "Annalise! Come on, you're late!" Aiden yelled, I could tell that he was about to walk out of the door.
My head whipped to look at the clock, it read seven forty. "Shit! I'm coming!" I called back, grabbing my keys and my bag.
𝙽𝙴𝚆 𝙲𝙷𝙰𝙿𝚃𝙴𝚁 𝙰𝙻𝙴𝚁𝚃 𝚕𝚘𝚕
𝚢𝚎𝚜, 𝚒 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚒𝚝'𝚜 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚛𝚝. 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚒𝚝'𝚜 𝚊 𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚛, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚢 𝚑𝚊𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚜𝚘𝚘𝚘𝚘𝚘 𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐. 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚊𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚒𝚝 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚕𝚘𝚕 𝙸 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚝 :) 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙸 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎 𝚒𝚝 𝚐𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊 𝚍𝚎𝚎𝚙𝚎𝚛 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚊𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚎, 𝙸 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚡𝚘𝚡𝚘 𝚜𝚢𝚍