Do you know how "being alone" feels like?
Do you know how does it feel like to exist in a world of 7.8 billion people but, none to understand you?
So young, yet so lonely.
This world is a place where I never expected to be part of, was born through the wish of my parents. It is called "life" but why is this survival, a test I didn't study for
"Soul mate" sounds like a lie to me. Belief in "Fate" made me taste all the fakeness of this world in just a few years of my existence. Dreaming about someone, whom I can call best friend too, is all that I lived on for. Looking at the sky, talking the clouds about thoughts crossing my head was the only thing I did to escape my state of loneliness.
So many years passed, met so many people but, none stayed. Not even my parents, sorry I left them for their happiness. I look at the rest, huddled up in their parent's arms and whispering pain of their own, while the adults listen as if it's their problems. Their parents are the ones they love the most. But, when it comes to my story love, I had it once for them; Now with the wind, it's gone.
When asked for synonyms of the word school, the first thing that crosses your mind is jail, right? Still, we manage to have some good and bad memories from this so-called jail cause of the support named "friends". But, have you thought about how it would have felt like to be alone in a class of a bunch of people with friends of their own? Not to have a fixed seat, as no one enjoyed your company? Every morning, after finally entering the school when you have to wait in front of the class gate for your class teacher to step in and select a seat for you? No right? When asked about the best memory of school, I can hear the rhythm of the bell ringing, a smile on every student's face and excitement bubbling for sharing their lunch with their friends. But unlike other students in that school, I was the one who didn't even know what sharing with friends felt like.
With every bell ring feeling of abandonment used to hit this soul. Not that it was everyone else's fault, I just couldn't step out of my cocoon.
The final bell ring of school ends the day. An everyday chapter named "World" knitted an unfamiliar sense of chill-nessin me. The lack of self-confidence was building up inside me, ready to pop and show on my face. Isolation was taking over my smile. But, you know what? At that very moment, I got the key to this locked cage I was inside screaming to be free. The need for someone was completed by some seven men, kilometres away from me, yet we had a connection. All those "go away" sounds that filled my ears, turned it into "Hey there".
Because of these seven, my smile again bloomed. They held my hands and pulled me into this world of self-love and acceptance. Everything turned into an adventure to look forward to after I started walking on this path of self-love that they created, which they sang as, "Love Yourself." I realized that it's only me who can give me the best of myself, and instead of harming myself I started healing myself. And now I am making myself the best version of myself, changing the game of survival to a path of life.