When Joe wakes up again, he's confused when he feels someone is holding his hand. Still quite sleep-drunk, he doesn't give it much thought. Instead, he simply yawns and snuggles a little closer to his pillow, not wanting to open his eyes just yet. Then his fingers get intertwined with someone else's fingers. The boy cracks one eye open, blinking a few times to let his eyes adjust to the light.
"Hey Joey."
When Joe hears this, both his eyes flutter open. "Ben?" He sits up a little, looking at the blond boy in surprise. "H-How long was I asleep? How long are you back already? Are you okay?" The ginger asks as he rubs his eyes.
Ben smiles as he starts to rub his thumb over Joe's knuckles. "Yes, I'm okay, don't worry." He whispers. He can feel his heart glow a little when he sees the reassured look in Joe's eyes. "I think I've been back in the room for about three hours now, more or less." He adds, answering Joe's other question.
Joe's eyes widen a little. "Why didn't you wake me?" He asks. He really wanted to be awake when Ben came back from the OR.
Ben smiles. "Well, the first hour I was still half asleep from the anaesthesia. And I saw how peaceful you looked, so I didn't want to disturb you." The blond explains.
An ever so slight blush appears on Joe's face. "That's sweet." He mumbles. "Anyways, how are you feeling? Does it hurt?" He looks at Ben's chest. Despite the fact that the boy is completely bare-chested, only his lower abdomen is visible. The rest of the blond's torso is completely wrapped in all kinds of bandages.
Ben shrugs. "It's okay for now. I just gotta stay still." He sighs.
Joe shoots the boy a little smile, glad that he's back again.
"So, watcha reading?" Ben asks to change the subject, looking at the book Joe is still holding.
The ginger lets out a soft groan. "You mean my social studies homework?" He shows Ben the cover of the book with a grimace.
Ben's eyes widen. "Homework? Why are you doing homework?" He asks.
Joe sighs. "My school is making me do it. If I don't finish it in time, I won't graduate." He mumbles.
Ben raises his eyebrow. "How can they make you do homework? The focus should be on your health right now." He says with a frown.
Joe simply shrugs at that, not knowing what more he can say about it.
After talking a bit, Ben decided to take a short nap. "Could you wake me up when visitors' hour starts? I don't wanna be snoring over here while you have visitors." The blond boy says with a chuckle.
Joe giggles softly. "Will do. Sleep tight." He says, smiling widely when he sees Ben's eyes falling close.
Ben yawns, only now noticing how tired he really is. He mumbles something back before closing his eyes. It doesn't take him very long to fall asleep.
"I guess I'll just continue with my homework then." The ginger mumbles before grabbing his science book. He shoots a quick glance at the time, seeing visitors hour starts in one and a half hours. One and a half hours of science. Joe groans loudly before opening his book.
|||
Ben wakes up about one and a half hours later because of a huge amount of pain rushing through his chest. With his eyes still closed, he tries to take deep breaths. But it doesn't make the pain go away. His hand travels down in search of the call button, so he can ask Lucy for some pain relief. His eyes open with a soft groan when he realises that the button is out of his reach. The doctor must have nudged it aside at his last checkup. And so Ben decides to ask Joe if he can call in Lucy for some pain relief.
The blond carefully turns his head towards Joe's bed. He frowns when he sees Joe sitting up straight in bed, his head buried in his hands. "Joe? Are you okay?" Ben asks a bit worried.
Joe shakes his head. "I- I'm... He." The boy stammers, not looking up to meet Ben's eyes.
When Ben hears a soft sob coming from the ginger he's positive that the boy is having another panic attack. Which is really bad timing. Ben himself can't get out of bed, and he can't reach the button to call Lucy. "Joey, it's okay. He's not here. You're safe." Ben says.
Joe shakes his head again. "No, h-he... he will hurt me." He chokes out.
That's the moment the door of their room opens. Relief overfloods Ben when he sees Ginnie and John entering the room.
"Mommy, Joey's crying!" John exclaims before hopping over to his brother's bed. With a lot of effort, the little boy manages to climb onto the bed.
Ben smiles a little when the boy hugs Joe.
Ginnie immediately rushes over to her son as soon as she sees the tears streaming down his face. She sits down on the edge of the bed, taking Joe's hands in her own. "Joe, honey, you need to breathe." She says, trying not to panic herself.
Joe looks into his mother's eyes, his gaze radiating panic and chaos. "He- he has the knife again. He is c-coming after me." He rattles, tears still making their way down his cheeks.
Ben can see Ginnie swallow when Joe says this.
"He's not here baby. You're safe." Ginnie says in a reassuring voice.
John looks up from the hug. "Joey, you're okay." He says with the most innocent and sweet smile Ben has ever seen.
Joe squeezes his eyes shut, and puts his arms around his little brother to join the hug. "I can't.... can't do this...-" He whimpers with a soft sob.
"Yes you can." Ginnie says in a stern voice. "Take a deep breath in."
Ben only gets more worried when he hears how much effort it takes Joe to simply breathe in.
"Good. Now breathe out." Ginnie whispers, gently taking Joe's hand in her own.
Joe briefly just stares at his mother holding his hand while still hyperventilating. "I don't want to die...-" He whispers with a soft sob.
Ginnie blinks her tears away. "You won't, Joe. I promise." She whispers back. "Take another deep breath in, okay?"
After a while of breaths in and out, Joe seems to have calmed down a little.
"Darling, look at me." Ginnie says, gently forcing her son to look at her. "Are you with me?"
Joe slowly starts to nod. "Y-yeah, I... I think so." He sniffles.
"Are you happy again Joey?" John asks, looking up at his big brother.
Joe nods, forcing a small smile. "Yeah." He mumbles. "Thanks for the hug Johnny. I needed that." Then he looks at Ben. "I'm so sorry, I-"
But Ben doesn't allow him to finish that sentence. "Don't you dare apologise for having a panic attack." He says with a reassuring smile on his face. "What caused your attack?" He asks, still quite worried.
Ginnie frowns, already knowing what caused it. "What did he text you this time?" She asks.
Joe sighs. He nervously starts fiddling with his hands. "He knows I'm not at home. He thinks I'm hiding for him somewhere." He says softly. "He went by our house." He adds in a whispering voice.
Ben bites his lip when he can see the fear in Joe's eyes.
"Honey, he's never gonna guess that you're in the hospital." Ginnie says reassuringly.
Joe looks down. "I know that, mom. But what if he goes by our house again and hurts you instead of me?" He looks at John, who is now lying cuddled up against his chest.
Ginnie takes Joe's hand in her own. "Let's not assume the worst, okay? The police know our situation, they assured us that we're safe." She says.
Ben takes a deep breath. "Can I uhm, can I read the text?" Somehow he feels he can help Joe better this way.
Joe nods, and hands Ben his phone.
Once Ben has read the text, he lets out a soft gasp.
(A/N, This is a real text my father sent me when I was in the hospital. I only translated it from Dutch to English, and censored some of the swear words to keep it a little wattpad-friendly.)
"Joe...- This is awful. I'm so sorry." Ben says softly as he stares at the screen of the device. "What about that restraining order you told me about? If you go to the police and show these texts, can't they lock him up or something?"
Joe shrugs. "He has violated that restraining order many times now, and they don't do anything about it. I don't know why this time would be different." He mumbles.
Ginnie nods in agreement, looking down at her hands sadly. "Every time these things happen they tell us that some texts aren't enough evidence. Mainly because they come from an unknown number, so they don't know for sure it's him." She explains.
Ben frowns at that. "That doesn't make any sense." He grunts, clenching his fist a little.
Joe nods. "I know." He says softly. "But anyways, let's talk about something else. I need to get my mind off of this, before I have another panic attack." He admits.
The others nod in agreement.
Then John pipes up. "Mom, you need to show Joey the baby!" The little boy exclaims.
Joe's eyes light up. "You had another ultrasound?" He asks full of excitement.
Ginnie nods with a soft chuckle before grabbing some pictures of her last ultrasound.
~~~
After chatting a bit, Ginnie and John had to go home because visitors' hours ended.
"Joe?" Ben asks softly.
The ginger lets out a questioning hum.
"Could you maybe press the button for me? I really need some pain relief." Ben says with a small chuckle.
Joe immediately gets up. "Yeah of course." He says before pressing the button that's dangling next to Ben's bed. After pressing it, he puts it next to Ben, so it will be within reach the next time. He sits down on the edge of the bed with a worried look. "Is the pain really that bad?" He asks, a bit scared about his own surgery.
Ben shrugs. "It's bearable. But it I can tell it's about to get worse, so I'd rather just have something against the pain." He shows the boy a small smile.
Joe nods. "Yeah, I get that."
It doesn't take long before the door of their room opens. "Hi guys. Ben, you pressed the button?" Lucy asks with a sweet smile.
Ben nods. "Could I get something against the pain? It really hurts." He says, trying to force a smile.
Lucy nods. "Of course. I'll go make an IV with pain relief ready. The doctor will be right here." She says before leaving the room again.
A brief silence falls.
"Can I ask you something? About that panic attack you had?" Ben suddenly asks Joe.
The latter is still seated on the edge of the bed. Joe swallows and nods. "Uhm, yeah, sure." He mumbles.
"Well.... You said something during your attack, and...-" Ben stops talking, not sure if he wants to finish this sentence. He knows how hard it is for Joe to talk about.
Joe sighs softly, moving his gaze down to his hands. "The thing about the knife?" He says softly.
Ben nods. "Yeah." He says.
Joe takes a deep breath. "Sometimes, when I'm having an attack, I get flashbacks to the moments my mom and I were still living with him. That's what happened today." He explains.
Ben's eyes widen a little. "He... he had a knife?" He asks.
Joe nods. He's about to say something when the door of the room opens again.
The doctor walks in with the same emotionless expression on his face. "Here's the pain relief you asked for." The doctor says to Ben before walking over to the boy so he can attach the IV.
"Thanks." Ben mutters.
"We gave you quite a high dose, so you can get through the night." The doctor explains. When he's done attaching the IV to Ben's hand, he leaves the room again.
Ben takes Joe's hand in his own. "Did he ever... u-use it? The knife?" He whispers.
The ginger looks away, and briefly nods. He frees his hand out of Ben's, and slowly lifts up his hospital shirt a bit. He stops when the skin above his left hip is just revealed enough to show a big scar.
Ben lets out a soft gasp.
"He once stabbed me when I was six years old. After that he only used it as a way to scare me. But I didn't know that. I thought I could be stabbed any moment." Joe says softly.
Ben slaps his hand in front of his mouth, completely in shock. "Jesus...-" He whispers.
"Yeah." Joe mutters, not sure what else to say about it.
Ben grabs the boy's hand again. "I'm so sorry. You deserve so much better." He whispers. "I'd love to hug you right now, but I'm afraid you gotta work with me here." He adds with a small smile. He opens his arms for Joe to lie down in his embrace.
Joe smiles at that, and very carefully he lies down next to Ben. "But, won't I hurt you?" The ginger whispers softly.
Ben shakes his head. "These drugs kick in pretty fast. My chest is basically numb by now." He says with a giggle.
Joe smiles and carefully lets his head rest on the boy's shoulder.
"Is there anything I can do when you have an attack?" Ben asks softly.
Joe shrugs. "A hug can do miracles." He mumbles before closing his eyes.
____________
I don't have anything to say this chapter🙃