07:
Trouble Underway
*****************
Breakfast that morning was awkward.
Castiel sits between Jasmine and Karina. They're fawning all over him, batting their eyelashes, touching him, flirting. Harley sits beside me, watching them with a jealous expression and narrowed eyes.
Castiel's attention is on them. He seems to be entranced by them, their beauty.
I lost my appetite to eat, and play with my food.
Hades announces the bash. It's two days away. And in his exact words, he allows us all to be as rowdy as can be, to an extent. He will be at his peak two days from now. Hades will be all-powerful, and the more souls to be judged after, the better.
Harley and I walk back to Xavier's room after breakfast. I carry an extra breakfast plate and a glass of orange juice.
I knock first, but there isn't an answer. I walk in, slowly, and can still see that Xavier is unconscious. There's a steady breath, his chest is rising up and down, up and down.
"We should be safe with Xavier."
Harley objects. "We can't hide here forever, Ariel."
"Only until we figure out a plan." I snap. "I can't have Jasmine tell Hades about Xavier. Not yet, anyway."
I set the breakfast meant for Xavier on his nightstand. Maybe leather-bound notebook was now the only thing set on it. A slip of paper was on the front that caught my attention. Dearest Ariel.
I set his breakfast against the nightstand, and pick up the leather-bound book with my name on it. Dearest Ariel.
Xavier's handwriting was a little messy. He wrote in cursive. It was a diary. But the first page was a folded up piece of parchment marked 'read first'.
My fingers shake as I open it. I feel like I'm snooping, and Harley comes to sit beside me against Xavier's bed.
Ariel,
If you're reading this, it means something has happened to me. What you're about to venture into is an account of a diary dating back to last year.
A wise person once told me the best way to exhale your demons is by writing them down. Spoken words are meaningless. Written words, however, stay with us forever. That's why I wanted you to have these...
I've started writing this letter two days ago, right after we kissed, and continued it last night, right after you told me what Jasmine was up to.
I could be thrown straight into Tartarus if Hades knew about this letter to you. Throw it out. Burn it. Rip it to shreds once you've finished it. Mesmerize every word. I won't disappoint.
By now, I'm betting you've told Harley what's in store for her. If Jasmine gets her way, she'll have Angelique throw both of your bodies through the portal the night of the bash. She's planning something bigger than what you're expecting. I couldn't chance you being hurt, as I might not be well enough to make an appearance at the bash, to protect you.
I promised myself after what happened on that bridge that I'd protect you in the underworld.
I thought you had to win; there was no way you couldn't. I took apart of your life from you way too soon. If I were given a second chance, I'd have refused to bring you here.
You don't deserve what's going to happen to you. I don't deserve you. I know that since the second I met you, in that beautiful white dress.
You were hurrying home from work that night, taking a different route that you usually took. I took advantage of that when you stopped to admire the view. I pushed you over the edge. No one saw me. They all thought you drowned.
But you didn't.
It's what Hades wanted. But I couldn't let you suffer.
He wanted nine dead competitors. But I broke the rules. I'm sure I'll die all over again if he knew. I was the voice Harley heard. I was the person to sentence Jasmine to die.
I am a terrible person.
I'm not asking for forgiveness.
I'm asking that you don't go through with Jasmine's plan. She'll get her way, and Angelique will get hers too.
If I'm still in this condition by the bash, make sure no one can get into my room. The person who did this will come back to finish off the job, and there'll be nothing left of me. They'll use me to get you willingly through the portal.
Don't do it.
Let me go, my dulce.
I'll be fine, whatever they do to me.
You can't let the world go to shit. You can't let Jasmine win. Beat her at her own game.
Loyally yours,
Xavier.'
A tear drips against the page.
I'm shaking a little, and Harley is quiet as she takes the letter from me. Her eyes read over the tips of options Xavier listed below for us. She doesn't read the letter.
"He's a genius." She whispered. "This could work... "
I held the notebook against my chest, and tried to keep from crying. I had to compose myself. I hated crying in front of people. In front of Harley, it made me feel weak.
Xavier knew what was going to happen to him.
If he knew, why hasn't he told me? Why didn't he at least make an attempt to stop it? Unless - Unless Jasmine had Castiel and Hades in on it. They could have done the dirty work, and blamed Angel -
No, that was fucking crazy.
Even for me.
"Which contestant should we risk?" Harley murmurs. "Isobel's classification could be useful. Then again, so could Cecilia. Greed and Wrath, oh, which to choose?"
"I say we get Isobel in on this thing. Isobel and Cecilia are mild acquaintances. We gain the trust of one - we gain both." I sniffle, drying my useless tears.
My eyes feel heavy.
My stomach feels upset.
"Do you know where their rooms are?"
Harley smiles. "Castiel can tell me. I've learned that all the girl's rooms are near adjacent corridors. Yours is on the second floor, right?"
"At the far end of the hall."
"I'll meet you back here, okay?" Harley says. "I know where Castiel's room is. I shouldn't be too long."
I grab her wrist as she goes. "Be safe, okay? Don't tell Castiel just yet."
Harley nods, returns the letter and I watch her as she goes.
I don't feel it's safe to leave after she's gone. I'll wait until Harley gets back to return to my room.
I read Xavier's letter over and over again. I read it a third time, and tend to Xavier's fireplace, leaving it to shrivel and burn. I didn't want to burn it. I should've kept it. But the words echo back to me, and I know that Xavier is right.
'A wise person once told me the best way to exhale your demons is by writing them down. Spoken words are meaningless. Written words, however, stay with us forever. That's why I wanted you to have these... '
I sincerely hoped Xavier would wake up before the bash. Xavier would know what to do.
I opened the diary.
He first page is marked: Dec. 31st, 2014.
Finally.
After making a small deal with Hades, I've finally attained my first notebook since being here. I've missed writing. No one here sees the point in it anymore, and I don't blame them.
But if I don't tell someone how I'm feeling - anyone - I might go certifiably insane. I'm actually starting to miss that medication.
I miss those weekly visits from my mother, and - I can't believe I'm writing this - I actually miss my brother, Robbie. I miss being able to feel the sun on my face. I miss the moon's illumination. I miss the feeling of the soft blades of grass between my fingers in the meadow by my house. I miss the rain.
I took everything for granted when I was alive. Now that I'm dead, I realize what I had; even if it was very little.
The descent to the underworld was the worst part of death. I know I'll never forget what it felt like to die. I'll never forget the feeling of peace seconds before the light engulfed me, and I was more alone than I ever was before.
I'm alone.
The loneliness is the only thing I've felt since arriving here; not a friendly soul to guide or to comfort me.
I know I should be lucky for the job I was offered here. If I didn't accept, I'd be rotting away in the fields of punishment. Although I have to say, I wasn't the least bit surprised with my 'prideful' classification.
I was a son-of-bitch when I was alive; why should being dead be any different?
Punishment is harsh here. The morning is the worst. Hades says it keeps us in line. But everyone knows better than to disobey an order.
There was only ever one person here that has ever stuck up for me.
I met her my first night here. She's one of eight servant-women. She doesn't have a heart of gold, and then again, neither do I. She's beautiful. Her name is Angelique.
We haven't spoke much. But she doesn't seem like your typical-stuck-up-bitch. At least not yet, anyway.
I'll write when I can (Meaning that I'll write as soon as I feel like putting my fist through a wall). Until then -
Xavier Reyes'.
I flipped through to the next journal entry; greedily gobbling as many words as I could, eating them up and memorizing every syllable. Xavier was completely letting me in.
'Jan. 14th, 2015,
It's been two weeks since I've last opened this notebook. I've had no time to write anything down. And although I've wanted to, I've been way too exhausted.
To all those writers who say death is an adventure, death is no adventure. Death is worse than being alive.
Hades appointed me lead-servant last week. I am his personal servant. I'm the only one that takes this position seriously. He likes that. But Hades still doesn't know about anything going on between Angelique and I.
The bashes are the only time we can touch each other, kiss each other, dance and drink. It's the only time we can actually act as we really are, dress like ourselves. Be ourselves.
The best alcohol, the best food, the best of everything.
I'm a little sad to know that Angelique has been here thirty-six years. The countdown to one-hundred started the day I got here.
100 Years. 100 years and here I come to the fields of punishment.
The journey to Hades Castle terrified me. The first time Charon ferried me across the Styx, I was almost dragged into it. The screams of all those... All of those people.
I couldn't sleep since I've got here.
Even now, as I write this with a heavy hand, it's almost 3 A.M. Angelique is asleep beside me. But even her company is not even to keep my demons at bay.
Eventually, the dim fire in the fireplace will burn out. Eventually, Angelique will disappear, and then, I am destined to follow. I am destined to follow, and disappear at her side.
This room will be that for a new, less obedient servant. The Underworld will have a fresh, new ruler and we will join the Forgotten souls.
Charon explained to me that the darkness on either sides of us remained home to the Forgotten. Forgotten souls. People Forgotten by their loved ones, never to be summoned again. Never to be felt or touched. Never to be kissed. Not one, last glimpse of anything... A terrible misfortune that would be.
Although I want to, I can't write anymore. Angelique is getting restless, about to wake up and I don't want to disturb her.
Arrivederci, for now.
Xavier.'
I continue flipping through the journal.
My heart feels heavy, and all I want is for Xavier to wake up so that I can kiss him, embrace him, tell him that I care. But Xavier doesn't wake up.
I flip through the journal until I come to more resent entries. Xavier got Angelique's sister sent away... That's why she hates him now. That's the reason she wants vengance. It tore my insides to shreds as I read over the heartbreak, the way he begged to have her back, and then, I finally get to the part where Xavier has met me.
The guilt over what he's done...
"Enjoying it?" Xavier is awake.
My face lights up, and I almost drop it. I practically crawl into bed with him. "Oh God," I whisper. "You're awake." I kiss his cheek. "You scared the hell outta me. Who did this to you?"
He tries to sit up, forehead slick with sweat. "G-God. What day is it?"
"It's still Wednesday. Two days before the bash." I brush his slightly-curl hair back from his eyes, and he still manages to smile a little. "If you knew this would happen, why didn't you say anything?"
He looks away, into the smoldering fireplace, as if he could still see the letter burning. "Who would believe me?"
I touch his chin, smiling at him. Tears still glint at my eyes. "I would."
Xavier smiles. His fingers caress the side of my face. "I'm so lucky to have you." He whispered. "How long have you been here?"
"Since breakfast."
He starts to get out of bed, but I push him back down. "Wh-what are you doing? You can't - you aren't well enough to move - "
"I'm going to confront Cedric."
I pushed him back, but Xavier was relentless. "Ariel, move - " Xavier demanded.
But I still push him back against the bed. This time, I lay against his chest. "Don't do this," I shake my head. "Please, I don't want you getting hurt, again. Confront him at the bash, won't you? Wait two days... For me. Please."
Xavier calms a little. His fingers touch my waist. "Ariel, get up."
I got up. And this time, I couldn't help raising my voice a little. "Fine. You want to avenge your broken ego, than go do it!" I head for the door, opening it and turning at the last second. "But don't just expect me to sit around and watch."
I slam his door closed, and gasp as I almost bump right into Hades. Hades is smiling. An eerie kind of smile that makes my skin crawl. "How's my little prodigy, hm? I see he's finally awake."
I nod a little. Did Hades overhear our conversation? "Yes," I admitted. My mouth felt dry. "He's still a bit weak."
Hades rose an eyebrow. "Well," he says, crossing his arms over his chest. "I thought you might be here, and it seems Harley was right..." She went straight to Hades?
"Right, sir? About what?"
"Don't act so coy, Ariel." Hades winks. "What's say you and I have a little chat, shall we?"