♇Day #125: C a n n i b a l puns
❤How does an anthropophage react to a blatant lie?
❥"That's a can o' bull!"
❤The girl brought her boyfriend home. Her cannibal father welcomed the lad.
❥He said, "It's great to finally eat you!"
❤When his lockjaw was easing up,
❥the man-eater said, "Finally, I can nibble!"
❤Why would a cannibal never decorate his home with diseased cadavers?
❥Because it wouldn't be very tasteful! (not a pun)
❤Why does a cannibal keep track of how many jerks she goes out with in a given year?
❥Because she's into cad average!
❤Why do cannibals scorn one-hit wonders?
❥Because it's just another flesh in the pan.
❤How do cannibals show hospitality?
❥They invite their friends over for a donner party!
❤What do (non-francophone) cannibals eat for breakfast?
❥Scrambled legs!
❤Why should a novice cannibal who's unsure about a recipe always use 'amputee' ingredients?
❥Because - they can't do any 'arm!
❤Why does a cannibal avoid possessive girlfriends?
❥Because there is nothing worse than a jealous liver!
❤What did the cannibal say after eating some delicious brains?
❥"That was exskullent!"
❤"Those cannibals were after my bones -
❥but I marrowly escaped."
❤Why are cannibals the most annoying lecturers?
❥Because they never stop chewing you out!
❤Cannibals love playing with children.
❥They consider it a veal good time.
❤What's a cannibal's favourite TV show?
❥Necks and the City!
❤Why did the cannibal look forward to his trip to Iceland?
❥Because he couldn't wait to try the Bjork chops!
❤If a German cannibal cooked your friend Craig along with perogies during a thunderstorm,
❥would you call it a lightning blintz-Craig?
❤What do cannibals spread on toast?
❥Marmaladies!
❤What's a cannibal's favourite dessert?
❥J-lo.
[FUN FACT: yesterday at the 30 hour famine, My group was named "Hunger Games" while my friend's group was named "the Cannibals" so this is in honor for them (even though they came in 2nd to last place, lol)]