Puns.2

✪Day #67: B a s e b a l l puns

✪Day #67: B a s e b a l l puns [since I like this website... I decided to give you more... #credittothepeoplewhomadethese]

        ♤Paul M posted a link to a new article about a politician's error.

       ♧John Walkenbach - At least it wasn't a costly error. He still has his base, and he's still running. In other words, he's safe.

      ♧John Walkenbach - Plus, his speeches haven't changed. He's on the campaign trail today, and made a short stop to deliver a speech. Same pitch as usual.

        ♧John Walkenbach - His wife, Callista, was with him. Did you catch 'er?

      ♧John Walkenbach - I feel like I'm talking to myself. I guess you're busy. I'll take a walk and come back later.

        ♧John Walkenbach - On second thought, I canceled the walk. The weather's too foul.

        ♧John Walkenbach - Still no response from Paul. I guess this is my own little pun umpire, and I'm the king.

        ♧John Walkenbach - If this were an actual contest, I could really clean up.

    ♧John Walkenbach - Obviously, Paul is away -- not home. He's a busy guy, with a lot on his plate.

    ♧John Walkenbach - Or maybe his union went on strike and he's on the picket line. Drive home, if you can before I make another blooper.

        ♧John Walkenbach - Damn G+. I got another pop-up ad.

        ♧John Walkenbach - If your daughter is tying up the computer, you should ground 'er.

     ♧John Walkenbach - Paul is very unresponsive, but I'll let it slide. Maybe he's having car trouble. I told him to check his clutch. He's not single, so maybe he can put the squeeze on his wife, so she can help him out of this jam.

    ♧John Walkenbach - BTW, if you put the squeeze on her, don't pinch her. And definitely don't hitter! And for god's sake, don't batter her around!

        ♧John Walkenbach - That's all for me. I need some relief if this thread is to be saved.

        ♤Paul M - Sorry, J-Walk. I guess I dropped the ball.

        ♧John Walkenbach - Did you see what I wrote at the bottom of the 9th comment?

        ♧John Walkenbach - I had a good streak going there.

        ♧John Walkenbach - Ha! No reply. You were caught looking at that comment.

        ♧John Walkenbach - Were you eating dinner at Arby? I like that place.

       ♧John Walkenbach - Doug was going to contribute, but he couldn't think of anything. Maybe you should help Doug out.

        ♧John Walkenbach - Roz also said she'd contribute. Is Roz in?

        ♤Paul M - Glad to see you're finally running short. STOP!

        ♧John Walkenbach - That one has been used already. You need to find a substitute.

        ♤Paul M - Okay, strike that.

        ♧John Walkenbach - That's also been used. One more, and you're out.

        ♤Paul M - Ok, Pop. Fly me out of here.

        ♧John Walkenbach - I have to go to bed. Old men doze -- a line you've heard before, but very true.

        ♤Paul M - I don't get that pun no matter how hard I twi. 'Night.

        ♧John Walkenbach - You don't get it? Or are you just Yankee my chain, you knuckle head? In any case, it's been a ball and it kept me in stitches -- even if you didn't contribute your usual a mound. Maybe I'll catch a single episode of The Simpsons before I go to sleep. I really like Homer.

        ♤Paul M - What a screwball...

        ♧John Walkenbach - I'm just trying to advance the art, using two methods: Walk 'n' Balk.

        ♧John Walkenbach - I think this thread represents the big inning of a new ERA in punnery.

        ♤Paul M - I'm not at the top of my game tonight. Too distracted watching Mitt.

        ♧John Walkenbach - You still did OK. Overall, I think it's a toss-up.

        ♤Paul M - That's a bit of a stretch.

      ♧John Walkenbach - I wasn't sure how this would wind up, and I'm glad you weren't caught stealing your puns. It's over, so I'll just walk off.