Another full day on horses or in the carriage, they were almost there. The Darkling finally exited the carriage and rode in the front line towards their destination. Clive rode just after him, he felt that the tension had changed. They would see death, hurt or worse.
Artemis and Dusk rode beside Clive, they all looked at each other every second. They hadn't been on many of these missions. They had once and hoped to never go again. Amirah got off the worst, she had been looking forward to seeing her friends again after she was the only one who had to stay at the little palace.
When they arrived, there was one Grisha left, bleeding to death while starving. He had told them the Fjerda had come, they had kidnapped every last Grisha and they were probably on their way to Ice Court. Amirah had been devastated for months. But she knew, like everyone, that death followed them since the day they were tested.
Astra had stayed in the carriage, she and Coretha. Coretha was reading her book and making notes, she didn't spare a glance at Astra. She had found a way of holding her book and notes steady so the broken road didn't mess them up. Astra had had a look at her notes and Coretha's perfect handwriting. It was as Coretha wrote in between two calculated lines that weren't there.
"What are you writing?" Astra asked eventually. Coretha finally looked up and saw a curious smile on Astra's lips. "Just some work for a new project." Coretha waited, she waited for the following question, and Astra, who had nothing to do anyways, asked it. "What new project?"
Coretha tossed her notebook and book away and began with full excitement. "Well, I had this idea. For you and the soverennyi. If you and he can bundle your shadows, I think you'll be able to overpower every enemy.-"
Coretha continued explaining how she thought it would be doable, how she found out, and where she read about this kind of morphing. But Astra didn't listen completely. It was all a blur in her right ear while she looked at her mouth moving. Maybe the information could be useful if two opposite powers could be bundled, but then she imagined the Darkling in power of her light.
That was the last thing she needed.
The carriage stopped and there was utter silence, it was too quiet. Astra and Coretha jumped out of the carriage and saw everyone staring, nobody said a word, even the horses stood frozen.
Astra made her way forward so she could see what was so horrible and then she saw it.
In front of them stood the former Grisha camp, but the Grisha weren't chilling in front of the fires, they weren't resting in their tents. They were spread all over the ground, what was left of them anyway. Five stakes were built and three bodies were bonded to them, the Drüskelle had taken the burden to take off two of the burned bodies from the other two stakes and they laid them on a pile with the other Grisha.
The pyre, they had burned the Grisha alive.
It had stayed quiet for a long time, the Darkling dismounted his horse and began to give orders. The fires of the pyre were still on, the Drüskelle were close.
"Tidemakers, extinguish the fires. Healers, go check for living Grisha. Heartrenders, stay in the area but check if you can find the Drüskelle." He clapped his hands and people began to work. The inferni helped the Heartrenders and Coretha went back to the carriage to be useful elsewhere. Astra stayed still, it was noticeable that this was the first time she saw something this gruesome.
Everyone was busy. Astra couldn't look anymore at the Healers shaking their heads another time if someone asked if there were survivors. It was a stupid idea, but she walked towards the woods, maybe if she found a Drüskelle, she could be something of use.
She walked and walked and when she was surrounded by trees she remembered how useless she actually was. She had no powers, she maybe had them but couldn't even use them. She needed to hold the Darkling's pathetic hand before she could summon some light. But she kept going, she had used her power the first time for protection, maybe this was just what she needed.
***
She had walked for an hour. She was returning to the others, hoping they hadn't left without her.
She was close to the camp, they would depart soon. However, luck didn't meet her this time. While walking she fastly hid behind a tree after she saw a Drüskelle standing in front of her. He hadn't seen her, she hoped. There would be no way she would be able to leave, not as long he stood there. She had to do something. But there was only one way.
It was risky, knowing that Astra hasn't used her powers in months. But she had to do it, she had to use the cut. Bagra had explained the basics, Astra was just never able to try it. She took a deep breath and looked at the Drüskelle, he stood with his back to her so it was to her advantage.
She spread her arms and called it, she visualized the light forming a blade before her, she felt it. And to her surprise it came, she felt the blade form and when it was in between her hands she shot it towards the Drüskelle. She hadn't believed her eyes, it had actually worked, she didn't need the Darkling because she had done it. The Drüskelle laid on the ground, in two pieces and Astra tried not to look at him. She would tell herself it was for the best, that he probably murdered those Grisha, and so she would forgive herself for this murder.
Astra saw the carriage again, she ran towards the camp until something made her trip. She was caught so her fall wouldn't make too much noise. A hand was on her mouth and a sussing sound was made to calm down. Astra looked up and saw Clive holding her.
She gave a nod making it clear she understood to be silent. He let her go and they sat behind a bush. Lilith and Squaller were there too. Astra saw the dried tears on their faces and the still shocked expressions. "What happened?" Astra whispered.
She was convinced they first wouldn't respond but Lilith finally answered. "We were attacked, the Drüskelle weren't gone at all. They took everyone captive and are remaking the stakes." Astra had never heard Lilith panic this hard, she had never heard anyone panic this hard.
Astra asked what happened to the Darkling, he couldn't be captive, could he?
"They took him first, it was horrible, they shot him first in his hand and then attacked. His hands are tied up, he can't touch them. We are doomed!"
Astra looked behind her, through the bush, and saw it. They were making the Pyre, the Darkling was caught and his hand was bleeding, the darkest red came out of it. She saw the other Grisha, some had blood on them others were bleeding themselves. They were shaking, scared, and smart enough to know they would get burned.
Astra looked at the people around her, this was her time, she would receive and earn their trust because Astra had a plan. And a damn good one if you asked her.
"I have a plan, but you have to trust me." Lilith, Clive, and the Squaller raised their brows. "It's useless Astra, we're as good as dead." Astra didn't believe that, and if so, she much rather died because her plan failed than because she was too scared to do something. "You want to die a coward? I think we actually have a shot. Please, just trust me."
It stayed silent again, but they gave in anyway. They knew dying by doing nothing was useless, and they actually had hope in Astra.
"So what's the plan?"
***
Astra walked slowly towards the Drüskelle, they hadn't noticed her, yet. She was walking in the clothes she had worn under her kefta. When the Drüskelle noticed her, they immediately raised their guns. Astra flinched at first but had to go on. She saw the look on the Grisha's face, who was tied up on the stake. Astra had to go on for that Grisha, for all these Grisha.
"Sten!" they yelled, stop. But Astra didn't stop, she only stopped walking when she stood right in front of them. The Grisha stared her down, she knew it but didn't turn around.
The Drüskelle began shooting at her, but no bullet touched her. They all flew away, just next to her. The Drüskelle lowered their guns and looked at her in disbelief. The first step in her plan was successfully accomplished. The Squaller had done her job, she had blown away the bullets before they could hit her. It had been risky but as they trusted her, she trusted them.
"Who are you?" said one in a terrible accent. Astra took a deep breath and gathered all her confidence, it was her turn. "I," she began, she spoke loud and tried to articulate the best she could, "Am an Sënj!" They understood, she had said the word 'Saint' in Fjerdan. She was lucky she had remembered the Fjerdan lessons from her tutors.
"You will not burn these Grisha, you will free them, or you'll pay for your sins!"
The Drüskelle looked at her with confused faces. They didn't take her seriously, not until one of the Drüskelle explained what Astra had just said in Fjerdan to the others. The Drüskelle with a terrible accent spoke again, "What will you do? We are the ones in power." He was mocking her.
He took a torch in his hands and began to put one of the stakes in fire. Astra could see the fear in the Grisha's face and the grin of the Drüskelle when he stared at her. "Not a saint anymore?"
Astra just grinned in return. The Drüskelle stayed confident but it was silent, no screams, no doubt, no fire... He turned around and saw the Grisha smiling at him. He put the torch against the wood again and then saw the fire there was gone too.
"Pe drüsje" yes, she knew, she was a witch in their eyes. But the actual hero here was Clive, he had successfully put out the fires without the Drüskelle noticing. "Jer oonet wej!" I protect Grisha. And she did. "Kerjenning min wej." Bring my Grisha. Astra enjoyed the uncertainty in his face, he was actually getting scared.
"Neg!" No! one Drüskelle yelled, "Sten, pe drüsje." Stop, you witch! another did, but the look of the one with a terrible accent stayed blank. "Tig end desjenet!" Shut up and stand down. Astra's grin widened but she tried to stay serious. She walked towards the Grisha and cut them free.
The Drüskelle did nothing, the others had listened to their commander. Astra told the other Grisha to go to the horses and carriage to depart already and wait at the crossing they had passed on their way here. They did what she had said and departed from the camp. Astra was now walking over to where the Darkling was tied up.
He gave her a smirk, he was proud she could sense it. And before she cut him down, the Drüskelle stopped her. "To be fair, we keep the demon." She stared at them and then at the Darkling. She saw his next move in his eyes, he wanted her to cut him down so he could slowly murder those Drüskelle.
The whole idea of Astra's plan was to keep people from dying, she could have killed those Drüskelle, but had gone for the better alternative. But what was one death more really?
She walked away from the Darkling and immediately felt his fierce eyes on her. He thought she might have another plan, she wouldn't leave him there really, right? But she did. She nodded in the Drüskelle's way and walked away towards the remaining horses. Clive and the Squaller waited for her there and asked where the Darkling was after she returned alone.
"It was their condition, he had to stay behind."
Their eyes widened but didn't object. Astra felt bad but told herself it was for the best. He didn't die by her hand, but it was because of her. She had gained her powers again, she would be able to train with Azura and Bagra in peace and would eventually destroy the Fold on her own.
They rode towards the other Grisha and each asked where the Darkling was. Every time she told them what happened, she began to doubt more. What would the Grisha even do without him, would they follow her? The girl who got their general killed?
Astra didn't bother staying with the other Grisha around the fire to mourn for the Darkling, she went straight to her tent and laid wide awake looking through the small hole in the fabric.
Guilt crept over her body, doubt was the only thing in her thoughts and even a tear fell. A tear for the Drüskelle in the woods, a tear for those Grisha murdered on the Pyre and a tear for sending the Darkling into the same faith.
She finally closed her eyes while the last tears rolled over her face and dripped into her pillow. She knew it would be an awful night, full of dreams or much better-said nightmares.