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» [ DON'T BLAME ME] «
0:00 ─〇───── 3:57
⇄ ◃◃ ⅠⅠ ▹▹ ↻
✁・・・ for you, i would cross
the line, i would waste
my time, i would lose
my mind. they say she's
gone too far this time.
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When ( Y/n ) heard that her own brother got Touka pregnant, she yelled and fell off the bed. Not because the Kirishima might give birth anytime now but it was because she realized that they weren't joking about doing it. But she said to herself that there was actually nothing to get panicked about. After all, it was a normal thing, at least to her and perhaps almost everyone.
It wasn't for Kaneki though. He was blushing when he heard the news and the ( h/c )-haired female knew that he was thinking dirty, dirtier than a bowl filled with filthy mud. And when the couple decided to get married, that was when ( Y/n ) lost it all. She chased the brunette for an hour straight, wanting to punch him for having fun during a situation between life and death. All of them didn't really know where Ayato went and the funny thing was that no one asked for him.
" We're pure. We shouldn't do it before marriage. It's absolutely wrong to do it unless we're husband and wife..." she mumbled angrily to herself as the white-haired male gulped and started to sweat nervously. ( Y/n ) finally realized that Kaneki wasn't listening to her and so, she cleared her throat and nudged his arm, " Right?"
" Y-yes..."
She couldn't find the answer to why she was angry. It wasn't actually because she's going to be an aunt at a quite young age, and it wasn't because that cold indigo-haired male left to visit nowhere without informing her or anybody else. Even if he did tell her where he went, ( Y/n ) wouldn't actually find him because chasing after him would make him feel that she did not trust him.
The day of the wedding finally came, and everyone was drunk under the moonlight. Since it was Ken's first time seeing a wedding made especially for ghouls, he couldn't prevent himself from asking his girlfriend a myriad of questions which some found annoying.
" Will they kiss in front of everyone?"
" Where is the ring?"
" Huh? Ghouls don't wear a wedding gown when they're married?"
He was lucky to have a patient girlfriend because if not, he would get slapped and suffer from the impact. She answered all his questions one and by one, sometimes asking him if he understood what she meant. ( Y/n ) smiled to herself after seeing the now-married couple giggling and their comrades cheering for them because a majority of them were drunk.
" Hey, Kaneki," the ( h/c )-haired female hummed and turned to face him, "How do humans get married?"
" I think that they would kiss in front of everyone, place a ring on each other's finger, the bride's father would accompany her when she walks in to meet the groom...?"
" You think? If I can be honest, it sounds like you're unsure about that," she grinned and scoffed.
" It has been a while since I saw people get married, and my memory about it is starting to fade now that I'm a ghoul."
Everything was going alright for almost everyone except for ( Y/n ), who felt still rather disturbed by the fact that she had another organ. She was scared of going insane. She did not want to kill innocent people, nor did she want to destroy Tokyo but she knew deep inside that if she ever did, she would hate herself. That thought kept her awake for hours. She was starting to go afraid and curious with her own unrevealed power, wondering to herself if it was stronger than the king itself, and that was when everything started to go down.
The Goat organization gathered around the massive fire that was in the middle of the underground base they were in. Every ghoul was relaxing and having fun, so did Kaneki and the couple. ( Y/n ) on the other hand was frowning, eyeing her surroundings real carefully and when she heard footsteps approaching, that was when she finally took a step back, a sweat trickling down her temple.
" We're under attack... we need to go-"
Before she could even finish speaking, the CCG suddenly appeared above them, which caused the female ghoul to clench her fists and growl softly but after seeing Mutsuki, who she can finally call a woman obsessed with Kaneki, veins appeared on her forehead and her eyes turned black and red.
" That little shit..." she muttered under her breath, upset.
" Sensei!" the green-haired female cooed and grinned as ( Y/n ) clicked her tongue in annoyance and pinched herself, hoping that it would help her calm down. Sadly, it didn't work.
" ( Y/n ), take everyone and find somewhere safe," Kaneki held her shoulders but she pushed his hand away and stared at the other ghouls running away.
" You must say that to Touka and
( b/n ), not me. I'll stay and fight with you," she spoke, " TOUKA, ( B/N ), ESCAPE WITH THE OTHERS NOW."
The brunette flashed her a look of concern and so did Touka. They wondered to themselves if she could survive herself in such a state but the ( h/c )-haired female didn't care.
She had to prioritize Touka, the pregnant ghoul because if she didn't, ( b/n ) would've struggled for the rest of life and she wouldn't want to see her own sibling like that.
" Can you do it?" her brother questioned and brought Touka closer to him.
" I've been through it, I should be alright."
And with that, she started to run away from them. Never in her life had she felt this angry. She hated Tooru for ruining everyone's enjoyment and hated the fact that she would do anything to have Kaneki back by her side. She gritted her teeth in vexation and ran around, helping anyone she saw who was in trouble.
But she realized that something was wrong. There was something unusual about CCG's behavior and their power, and it wasn't like the ones she encountered and killed. She knew that there was something strange going on but she didn't know what. After few seconds of observing, she felt that someone was in trouble and so, she snapped out of her daydream.
Hinami's kagune sprouted out her back and it started to attack the officers but to both her and ( Y/n )'s surprise, they had quick reflexes and they managed to slice her kagune without any struggle. When the brown-haired female thought that she was about to die knowing the distance between her and the quick male, the ( l/n ) suddenly appeared and kicked him.
" ( Y/n )!" Hinami cried out as the other turned to face her.
" Take the kids and run, don't look back. I will handle them."
" But..."
" I'll be fine. Now go," the ( h/c )-haired female shouted. The Fueguchi hesitated at first and bit her bottom lip but knowing how serious she was to keep them safe, she had to obey her and complete the simple task, which was to protect the ghoul children.
She then ran away with the kids, leaving the remaining opponents to her. Someone then walked in her direction, a knife in her right hand and a huge evil grin on her face, which caused ( Y/n ) to roll her eyes after seeing who it was.
" It's you... again."
" You're definitely going to die here," Mutsuki pointed the knife at her.
Both Mutsuki and ( Y/n ) were sending attacks at each other, sometimes defending themselves when they knew the time was right, sending death glares to each other and neither of them wanted to give up. It was until the ( l/n ) felt an agonizing pain from her back, and it allowed Tooru to slash her. The Quinx slashed her shoulder first and then her hips before she punched her. The ghoul fell to the ground and held her bleeding hip, an exasperated expression took over her face.
" You're pathetic," Mutsuki smirked and dragged her by her hair, pinning her to a debris.
" I... w-will... kill you," she whispered and tried to stand up with her wobbly legs. The lunatic then punched her once and then twice, more blood dripping down ( Y/n )'s forehead.
Her vision started to go blurry and even if she did try to wake up, her mind said otherwise. Her kagune was starting to fade into ashes, and she laid on the stone, a pool of blood started to form under her body.
˗ˏˋ 'ˎ˗
" YOU'RE WEAKER than I thought you'd be."
" Who... the hell... do you think you are to say that?" she croaked and stood up, rubbing her eyes in the process. And when she did that, she was greeted with a pair of dangerous eyes. She then set her mouth agape, " Why... do you look like me?"
" Because I am you, you fool."
That was when she concluded that the woman who had the audacity to say that was her past self, a cold-hearted, powerful, and unsympathetic ghoul. ( Y/n ) realized that her clothes were soaked with her blood, and her hair was disheveled; her hands were also filled with blood and there were stabs and wounds in her body. What made her suspicious was not that she was suddenly talking with her old self but because she couldn't feel any pain.
" Where am I-"
" You passed out," her former self clicked her tongue and passed by her, " and it was because you're weak-"
" What the actual hell are you talking about?" she had enough of nonsense and gripped on her collar.
" You passed out."
" And if I passed out, why am I here talking with you?"
" Because you're going to die if you're not going to do anything," the bygone woman pushed her away and slapped ( Y/n ). The ( h/c )-haired female flinched at the action and held her right cheek, where she was slapped, " See, you can't even dodge my hit. Your mind might be alive but your body is slowly dying and the funny thing is that you're actually not doing anything about it."
" ... And why is that?"
" Because you've gone too soft after you met Kaneki. You became pathetic and weak because you are scared of your own self."
She blinked twice at her remark, confused with all the nonsense that was going on. She then realized that below her was water diffused with blood, and above her was just a plain white ceiling.
" Who said I'm scared of my own pow-"
" You're not using the damn organ. You're scared of it, right? Am I wrong?"
" WELL OBVIOUSLY I AM SCARED OF IT, THE DOCTOR LITERALLY SAID I COULD GO BERSERK ANY MOMENT NOW BECAUSE OF THIS STUPID HIDDEN POWER OF MINE!" she yelled at her but the old ( Y/n ) decided to bark at her too, tired of her dumb questions and statements.
" THAT IS THE FUCKING POINT YOU SHITHEAD, YOU HAVE TO GO BERSERK TO SURVIVE! WHY IS YOUR BRAIN NOT WORKING, DID YOU HIT ON SOME METAL POLE?"
She had enough and fell on her knees, splashing the water with her bloody hand. Her past self rolled her eyes and stayed silent, but she crouched down within few minutes and extended her hand.
" I... I... don't want to destroy Tokyo. I can't... I can't kill innocent people..." she sobbed, her tears falling from her eyes like heavy rain. She knew that even if she did that, it wouldn't solve anything but she couldn't help herself.
" For fuck's sake, you're not going to destroy the whole city."
" But still..."
" Let me tell you something," the forgotten female rolled her eyes and gripped on her wrists, " Do you want to know what makes you strong?"
( Y/n ) had to admit that she actually didn't care about it. All she wished now was for this chaos to end and never occur again but Mutsuki's determination was something she abhors so much, as if ghouls having a great ending was erroneous.
" What is it...?" the ( h/c )-haired female sniffed for the last time and looked up with red, puffy eyes.
" Hate."
That word slipped out of her previous self's tongue like it was nothing, and the twenty-one-year-old female shivered hearing that word. It was a word she didn't think of for months and she chose not to hear it knowing how strong it was.
" It's only your hate for the CCGs that makes you powerful a few years ago. Determination? No. Hope? No. It's only hate-"
" Well shit, I changed, that isn't what makes me strong."
" Maybe for this situation, yes. Hate them for destroying your happy life. They murdered your family, they killed Eto and Noro, why are you letting them win? Are you going to die and give up on Eto's last wishes? What about your team's efforts, huh? You're just going to let them drain in the sink-"
" And even without hate..." she whispered and clenched her fists, " My hidden power itself can defeat them, right?"
The old, uncharitable ghoul crossed her arms and slapped her forehead as the other waited for her answer patiently, " Honestly... no. It's not enough."
" I'll be honest, I have enough of this stupid nonsense," the bloody female let out a mocking chuckle, her veins popping out her forehead and arms. She then stopped and sent her a deadly glare before she pushed her past self harshly to fall to the ground. She ended up on top, her hands already wrapped around the other ( Y/n )'s the neck, " I loathe them, I despise the CCG and you are right, I want them to surrender and give up."
" That's right, even I feel the same way," the pinned woman grinned, " If hurting me makes you hate them even more, then do it. Choke me more, hurt me more, or even kill me!"
" Shut up."
Mutsuki stared at the lifeless body of ( Y/n ), wide-eyed. She was shocked and scared at was she was seeing, which was ( Y/n )'s body healing itself, the pool of blood below her shrinking and to her, it was abnormal.
' Impossible... How... how is she regenerating her wounds at such a state!?' the green-haired quinx thought and started to shake uncontrollably.
The ghoul tightened her grip on her former self's neck. Instead of resisting and wriggling around, the powerful ghoul stayed still and smirked.
" Lend me your power," she hissed, " I've finally decided."
" Oh? Aren't you going to use the organ? Why are you asking me-"
" I will use both of them, I want to end everything now," she loosened her grip, " I've seen and had enough with everything going on."
" Pathetic. Can you bear such power? I doubt that."
" I will manage it," ( Y/n ) gritted her teeth and realized her wounds were closing and stitching by themselves, but that wasn't what mattered now. Everyone stayed silent, and no one dared to move a single bit because if they did, it would show them that they were a quitter.
" You don't need my power..."
" And why is that?"
" I am you," she furrowed her eyebrows, " The only thing different is that I hated everything more than you, I even hated myself and the society that evolved around me. I'm not saying that you must hate again for the rest of your life but... you must try to accept the reality that occurred and make good use of it. I will admit, I couldn't control my emotions back then, and now that I've changed to become the person you are now, I've learned that hating on the CCG won't do anything unless you take action."
" So you're basically saying that hate isn't actually the answer-"
" It is your only answer to become powerful."
She slowly closed her eyes and took a deep breath," And if I do that, will I be able to save Kaneki?"
" Yes but maybe... not yourself. But I know that because of him, you can control your emotions and your own self. Just don't let the CCG take him."
" I will never allow that to happen. I won't let them take everything I have, I will not let anyone who does that leave unwounded."
" I hate them, and I will kill them. I wish to get my revenge, and they will not get away from it," she muttered and stayed on the floor. With her unusual behavior, a new kagune slowly coming out from her back and the dark purple tentacles circling her body, Tooru took a step back and her squad started to sweat furiously, " I will let myself suffer just to win but if I ever get the chance to end them, I will. I execrate the truth that they're living the best life, defeating ghouls one by one, and who the fuck here says I'll let them go with it!?"
The green-haired woman took out her knife and pointed at the ghoul who talking to herself, knowing that she's going to go insane anytime soon. She signaled her team to come at her and end her life right on time before the problem they were in goes worse.
And they did. They were grinning as they ran at her, their ego getting bigger seeing how pitiful she was. But they were proven wrong when she suddenly stood up, her eyes covered with a grey mask and her nails sharper than knives themselves. When an artificial ghoul realized this and wanted to back away, his grin fading into a scared smile, he froze on his spot when he felt that someone placed their hand on the top of his head.
" I'm not letting you go," she scoffed and squeezed his head even harder, " For underestimating me, I will kill you first."
( Y/n ) then crushed his skull and blood sprouted everywhere, his body collapsing to the floor. It was indeed a horrifying sight, and Mutsuki started to shake furiously, her knife almost escaping her grip. However, to the ( h/c )-haired female, it didn't matter. She only killed one out of a hundred, more or less, why were they so surprised? Her attention then drifted to another male, who has pointed a gun at her. She disappeared into thin air and appeared right behind him, stabbing his shoulder with her long nails.
" And for trying to kill me, I'll kill you next."
( Y/n ) pierced his knees with her kagune and grabbed the gun from his hands, pulling the trigger before she shot him in the head. Mutsuki was terrified, and so was the rest but then again, the number of people she killed couldn't defeat the number the ghouls the CCG murdered.
" And for you..." she finally made eye contact with Tooru, another kagune taking control of her right arm before its energy combined to form a gigantic hook, its tip covered with the blood of the people she has killed. Her original kagune sprouted out of her back and pointed at everyone that was surrounding her. She huffed and took a step forward.
" For you all, who destroyed my happiness and ruined my life, I will never allow you to see daylight again."