I ended up missing the end of season cast party/reunion episode because Proudlock and I decided to go on holiday.
Alex ended up going with us to Marrakesh but that was only for a week.
We went on a little world tour for just over a month so we didn't get back to England until a couple weeks into February but I didn't go back to Chelsea for another couple of weeks because I was visiting some friends.
The first thing I did when I got back was go do a naked photo shoot with Louise and Binky.
"I think you could get away with showing more thigh as well." Louise commented as I adjusted the sheet that was covering me.
"Olivia what plans have you got for big sister Binks?" I asked as Binky sat down next to me. "What poses? What slut positions are you going to put her in? I'm sure JP would love them all."
Binky jokingly shoved my head. "Don't listen to her, Olivia."
"They have a very odd sister relationship." Louise stated.
"Well we'll make it artistic so not too much on show."
"We'll keep it clean." Binky nodded and moved the sheet slightly.
"Unless you want to see my vagina, I don't think you should be moving my sheet."
We all laughed a little.
"Are you guys excited to be in the exhibition?" Liv asked us.
"It's amazing." Louise grinned. "We're gonna be on the walls in a gallery."
"Have you met anyone before?" Binks asked. "Any of the girls before?"
"So I was at school with Sam." Liv said.
"What?" I gasped slightly.
"We used to boink a bit..."
"What?!" Louise clearly didn't know that piece of information.
"You boinked?" I asked at the same time that Binky asked. "You bonked?"
"Yeah." Liv confirmed.
"Oh my god, how long ago was this?" I questioned. "Are you in the same year as him?"
"No, so he is a few years above me."
"It was just so casual- we used to bonk a bit." Binky laughed.
"Now it means you've seen me and my brother naked." Louise jokingly pointed out.
"Yeah." Liv laughed a little.
"Oh my god, keeping it in the family!" I howled with laughter.
"Do you have a photograph of him?" Binks jokingly asked.
"No, I think he took a photograph of me. Kidding." Liv quickly added.
We were all dying with laughter.
"Porgy, how's Alik?" I asked after we all calmed down.
"He's really well." Louise nodded. "Obviously we just spent a bit of time together in New York, which was amazing."
"You've both been away for far too long." Binky said. "And I've been in Norfolk for a bit. I've met all of JP's family and it's funny, like, you can tell he's never really had a girlfriend at home before, because he'll kind of go off and do his own thing for a bit. I'll be like: where the fuck is he?"
"That will get better with time." I reassured her. "But you guys obviously didn't go away together?"
"No. He's been in Dubai for the last few days, so I've only seen him once since we've been back. That was the only thing, I would've loved to have gone away together." Binks then looked at me. "Enough about me, how was your world trip with Proudlock?"
"It was incredible. We had the most amazing time." I smiled as all the memories filled my head. "It was just nice to get away and obviously spend time with him because we don't get the chance to see each other much anymore."
"Didn't Alex go with you to Marrakesh?" Louise remembered.
I nodded. "Yeah, so after we went to Australia, Proudlock decided he wanted to go to Marrakesh and I just happened to have been talking to Alex as we were booking it so I was like: hey, I know things have been kind of weird but we're gonna be doing this and I don't really wanna wait until the end of this trip to see you again."
"That's quite sweet." Binky smiled slightly.
"Yeah, so he flew to Marrakesh and we spent just over a week there and then he came home while Proudlock and I jetted off to Paris." I explained.
"So what's the situation with you and Alex now then?"
I shrugged. "I'm so madly in love with him but I don't really know where his head is at right now and it definitely worries me. Like as far as I'm aware, he hasn't hooked up with anyone else in any way and I obviously haven't either but we're in this weird kind of relationship limbo. I felt quite bad for Proudlock at times because I was being very like: I wish Alex was here. I just wanna be around him all the time. I don't wanna cut the trip short but I just can't stop thinking about being with him."
"I think that's a sign that it's definitely something worth fighting for." Louise said.
"It's weird because I was literally in a very healthy, non argumentative, two year long relationship yet I've never been so in love with someone before." I told them honestly. "Like losing him scares the shit out of me and I honestly don't think I could cope with seeing him get with anyone else. Like when things are good between us, I honestly can picture him being the lad I spend the rest of my life with but we've just had so many moments where it hasn't been good that I don't know if that's even a possibility anymore."
"Oh birdie." Binky hugged me.
"God it's been so long since people have called me that." I laughed a little. "Like, literally the only person to call me that in the past, what, four or five years was Spencer."
Alex called and asked if he could come over and about twenty minutes after hanging up, he was at my door.
"Hello."
"Hello. You alright?" I smiled as I let him in.
"Yes. It's looking nice in here now." He looked at some of the new decorations before sitting down. "Not that it didn't look nice before."
"I think I'm gonna change a few things but it is cute."
"A little bare on the walls. Maybe I can do some paintings for you."
I smiled amusedly.
"I'm not going to lie, it has been weird going from always being at my place to now, occasionally going over to each other's. Obviously you were away for a while so that affected things as well. The boys were saying... well, Jamie was saying that it's kind of like we're taking a step back in the relationship."
"Yeah, I know. Binky and Louise said something similar."
"But the way I looked at it and explained it was that to move forward we do have to take a tiny step back."
"Yeah, I think it's a really good thing to have complete trust in each other and let each other have the space to do whatever we want. And I do completely trust you."
"Yeah, I think that's needed, for any relationship to work there has to be trust. Otherwise it's a battle everyday."
"Exactly." I agreed. "And we know what it's like to have those battles and I really never want to go through that again. I want us to work because I am hopelessly in love with you."
"Yes. I love you too." He leaned over and kissed me.
Everyone went to Liv's exhibition and it was beautiful. I walked round with Alex and he definitely spent longer looking at the pictures of me which did make me laugh.
We went and got a glass of champagne and saw Steph stood by herself looking at one of the pictures.
"There's Steph looking intently at a naked lady." Alex joked as we walked over.
"Who is that?" I squinted slightly as I tried to figure it out.
"Hey guys."
"Hello." I smiled.
"I thought you guys broke up, by the way." She casually dropped.
"I told you that wasn't the case at the poker." Alex reminded her.
"Was it fun?" I asked.
"Jamie was completely naked." She told me.
"Standard." I chuckled slightly.
"So that was like fun." She then looked at Alex. "You only had your shirt off. But you had your pants unbuttoned which was weird. You were, like, anxious. Like: I hope I lose the next hand."
"No, it was fun, it was fun." Alex smiled.
We walked away pretty quickly after that and continued looking at all the pictures.