I stayed round and Binky's because we had a sister movie night which was amazing. Binky and I have always been super close even when I was living in Sydney. She's my big sister and I adore her more than anything in the world.
We went out for a little brunch type thing with Louise and Rosie.
"Look at how nice this juice looks." Rosie held her glass up. "It's purple- it matches my nails."
"Does it taste good?" Louise asked.
"It's just got beetroot in it. Makes your pee..." Rosie trailed off.
Louise finished her thought. "Pee red."
"What?" Binky half gasped. "Does it?"
"Yeah." I nodded.
"It's like asparagus makes your pee smell." Binky compared the two.
"Yeah." Louise confirmed. "Apparently only some people though."
"So, Ro, what happened the other night?" I questioned.
"I was basically having a chat with Lucy and Rosie came over and was like: right, I need a word." Louise said.
"I said: what have you been saying about me? She says: I said something like you were irrelevant in the fashion industry. Which is so rich coming from someone wearing a negligee to a black-tie event."
"What's a negligee?" Binky looked at me as I laughed.
"Something you wear to bed." Rosie told her.
"It's like a silk slip." I added.
Rosie laughed a little. "Literally, I could practically see her vagina and her tits were out. It's black tie- inappropriate."
Binky, Louise and I burst out laughing.
"So that's really rich. That's really rich coming from her." Rosie repeated.
"I don't even think it's necessarily to do with you." Louise said after she stopped laughing. "I think it's just that Lucy felt threatened because Tiffany decided to do something on her own."
Rosie nodded slightly. "Because basically there's something to do with the fact that she's annoyed that Tiffany's gone to me, like I can give Tiffany something that Lucy can't give her."
"I didn't see anything." Binky commented.
"What were you up to?"
"What were you up to?" Rosie repeated Louise's question. "I did see you with JP- what were you doing?"
"Oh my god are you blushing." Louise pointed out.
"You are blushing." I poked my sister's cheek.
"I don't know..."
"Something's happened." Louise deduced.
"You look so uncomfortable." Rosie stated.
"If you don't tell us we're just gonna make Bella tell us because she obviously knows." Louise said.
"We've kind of been meeting up secretly. We kissed." Binky admitted.
"What?" Rosie gasped.
"Where?" Louise questioned.
"We kissed on a dog walk and that was it. Like, very nice, chilled."
"Im surprised you're so okay with this." Rosie pointed at me.
"I've already spoken to JP. We actually spoke at the rooftop party weeks ago and I told him that he'd kick himself if he didn't give it a go and he actually told me about them meeting up before Binky did." I turned to Binky. "Im not sure if you know this part but we actually went out for drinks and he was telling me how he was feeling and we had a very nice, very mature conversation. I obviously told him that if he hurt her I would smash his head through the pavement but other than that I was perfectly pleasant."
Louise laughed a little.
Binky noticed Rosie's reaction or lack thereof. "What?"
"I just feel like now you've kissed again it is just like..." Rosie paused to find the right words. "It's opened this huge bag of worms. You basically need to be in a relationship or he'll lead you on again."
"Oh my god! No we don't." Binky disagreed. "It's fine. I know that he likes me, and I know that... I don't think... I know he's not leading me on."
"What did he say to you?" Louise asked me.
I shrugged. "Pretty much the same things he's been saying the whole time. He likes her and is trying to work on himself a bit more. He genuinely doesn't want to lead you on, Binks, I know that for a fact. If that's what he ends up doing then he's a right idiot but it's honestly not his intention."
Rosie checked the time. "Guys I'm going to have to love you and leave you."
"Oh, you'll miss Ollie and Richard." Binky told her.
I checked my phone. "I've actually got to go as well."
"Not you as well sissy." Binky held my hand.
"Sorry but I need to go meet Alex. I love you both and I will see you later. Send the boys my love."
"Will do." Louise smiled.
"Good luck."
I kissed Binky's cheek before grabbing my stuff and headed round the Blue Bird, the cafe I was meeting Alex at.
"Hello beautiful." He smiled and kissed me.
"Hello." I smiled back as I sat down. "How're you?"
"I'm good. How was movie night with Binky?"
"So much fun. You know how much we love our sister time." I chuckled slightly but it quickly faded. "As much as I love talking about my sister we do need to talk because I haven't actually heard from you since we had that stupid argument a couple of days ago."
"You know why I did that though."
"I get you needed space after the argument. It was our first proper argument and it wasn't exactly a small one but I at least needed a message being like: I need some space, I won't cheat on you, I really want us to work because I do really care about you and we'll work it out." I told him. "Explanations aren't excuses."
"In hindsight, that probably would've been a good idea but you're right, I didn't. I reached boiling point and I snapped. The last person I wanted to speak to was you..."
"You still should've let me know how you felt. How do I know you didn't cheat on me when you were in Ibiza the past three days?"
"What?"
"How do I know you didn't cheat on me?"
"Because I would tell you if I had cheated."
"Why would you tell me? 'Cause you've told girlfriends in the past?"
"Touché."
"It's really hard to believe you when I never thought you'd just disappear for three days. I never thought you'd be the kind of guy that'd just ignore your girlfriend." I said kind of hurt.
"It was really awful what I did but I did also realise when I was out there that I want to try and make this work. I don't want another fight like we had the other day again. Do you hate me?"
"A little bit."
"Do you hate me more than you like me?" He asked with his signature cheeky smirk.
"No. Annoyingly, I don't."
"I have some dirty washing that needs doing."
"When is the last time you washed your own clothes, honestly?"
"I saved it purposely for you."
"You're disgusting." I laughed.
"Im quite clean. I clean regularly. I'd expect more..."
"Hello." I smiled as I saw Toff walking over.
"Hello."
"How are you? Grab a chair." I offered.
"How you doing?" Alex asked as she sat down.
"Im really well. How are you two?"
"Not too bad." Alex responded. "We're just having a light spot of tea."
"That sounds nice. Bella, how was the country? You went to see your mum, didn't you?"
I nodded. "Yeah, it was nice. But of a nightmare with my boyfriend running away to Ibiza but..."
"I've been a bad... bad boy. It was a bad period. Like, I kind of was a bit unhappy with the way things were starting to go but I think we're going to try and work things out."
Toff hesitated for a moment. "Jess was saying that she was giving you a bit of advice and stuff about..."
"Yeah, this is something-"
I cut Alex off. "What do you mean Jess is giving you advice?"
"I didn't mention this actually."
"I can't believe you didn't tell me."
"I know. It's pretty stupid actually." Alex explained. "I asked her to give me a guy's number to hook up at a club and she was like: why isn't Bella with you? And I was like: 'cause we're fighting."
"Why would you tell Jess you're fighting with me? And why wouldn't Jess tell me? She's supposed to be one of my mates."
"I don't know." He shrugged. "I just.. I was.. I needed someone to talk to and it ended up being not the best person."
"You needed someone to talk to, so you spoke to Jess?"
"Well, I spoke to quite a few people but Jess was one of them. If I'm honest, I forgot about that."
"What else did you forget while you were in Ibiza?"
"Oh god, I can't let us go down this road."
"Why would you hide that? If it's not an issue, why would you hide it?"
He chuckled nervously/awkwardly. "Probably because I thought you'd think it was like me doing it intentionally to..."
"So you did hide it. I want to see your phone."
"Her messages aren't on there." He admitted.
"You deleted them?" I gasped slightly.
"Yeah."
"You deleted your messages?"
"I didn't say anything bad. You don't believe me, do you?"
"How the fuck can I trust you when you're texting your ex and then deleting them? Are you actually serious?"
"It looks awful but I can look you in the eye and tell you, there was nothing dodgy about the messages- I swear."
"Oh, and I really believe you now, you fucking idiot." I grabbed my stuff and walked off.
I called Binky and asked her to stop by mine after she finished brunch with the others
About 20 minutes after I got home, there was a knock on my door so I opened it and let my sister in.
"So tell me what happened?" She got straight to the point as we sat on the sofa.
"You know how I told you that Alex and I got into a fairly big fight before he went off to Ibiza." She silently nodded so I continued. "Basically, it was about like I wasn't sure if I could properly trust him because he was telling me more about his past relationships that I didn't know about and it just kind of blew up. Like it was really bad and he didn't message me at all after he walked out until this morning when he called and then he texted me while we were out."
"Okay, so clearly there's something else because you're practically shaking."
"We went and got tea and we're talking. We had pretty much sorted it out and it was fine but then Toff walked over so I offered for her to join us which she did. And then she dropped the bombshell that Alex had been messaging Jess asking for advice and telling her about us fighting. But when I asked to see his phone, he told me that he had deleted the messages so I was like fuck this and I left."
"Shit."
"Yeah. The thing is as well, I'm pissed off at Jess because she's supposed to be my mate and I actually went for drinks with her literally yesterday and told her that Alex hadn't messaged me and I wasn't sure if I should be worried or not and she didn't say a fucking thing about it. Like you're my mate but you're also my boyfriend's ex who pretty much broke up his last relationship."
"What now then?"
"I want nothing to do with Jessica fucking Woodley. That's for damn sure." I shook my head slightly. "I have no idea what I'm gonna do about me and Alex. I love him."
She quickly grabbed my hand. "You love him?!"
"Yeah. I honestly was gonna tell him the other night but then somehow we ended up in this huge fight, then he disappeared to Ibiza and now I find out he's been messaging his ex behind my back." I started to cry a little. "It's just my fucking luck that I can finally say I'm in love with someone but they just flat out hurt me."
"Seeing you like this is actually breaking my heart because you've always kind of been in relationships but I've never seen you like this."
"It's just like, I've had long relationships. But I've only ever said I love you to one lad and then fast forward a year and a half in that relationship and we're breaking up because I don't want to live in Australia anymore." I wiped the tears off my face using my sleeve. "I just don't know what to do."
"Oh bells." She pulled me into a hug.
Eventually, I calmed down.
"Are you coming to Victoria's baking night thing?"
"She invited me but I said no. I love Victoria but I don't really want a group of girls- or a group of anyone- asking questions about me and Alex." I explained. "If anything about us comes up, can you just shut it down please?"
"Yeah, of course."