I walked through the door of my shop, wanting to push away those garbled memories, turning my sign back to open I headed into the kitchen. I smelt something burning and groaned, dang it, I’d forgotten about my muffins I’d thrown in just before all of that had happened. Yummy. I pulled out the little charred poop logs and tossed them on the counter. Kitty would love them, so I threw them in a bag for her later. A soft ding caught my ears, and I prayed the customer wouldn’t be offended by the burnt smell in the store. I’d have to air this place out later. I walked to the front, a smile on my face.
“Good morning, how can I help you?” I asked. The man was dressed in an ugly brown sweater, his face completely covered in hair, his eyes deep set and darting around the room like something was going to attack him.
“Vampires…” he hissed, in a voice like Satan. Wow, scary.
“Excuse me, sir?” I said, my annoyance coming back. Today was an off day for me. I could usually shrug stuff like this off, laugh about it, and move on with my crazy life.
“They are everywhere!” he barked, throwing his hand around like a noodle slapping the air.
“Would you like a free sample?” Maybe I could distract this nut job with some chocolate. I pulled out several bon-bons and handed him two. He looked at me with crazy eyes, his lip shaking like I’d offered him rat poison. Yeesh, where did they man come from.
“Do you think I’d eat the food of Satan?”
Satan? Is this man for real?
“Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave now.” The best way to get on this girl’s nerves was to call her Satan. Or kick my dog, that’d earn you a one way ticket to pain-town, a place where I make you scream like a pig. Ick, I sound like a freak.
“You sell the works of Satan! The blood of your victims are baked in these!” He took a step closer to me, and I could see that his eyes were caked with grime, and tiny veins of red were filling his pupils. Really? How low could Claud go? He’d poisoned this guy with venom to make him say this stuff. I guess Claud was really trying to make me pop a vein today. The door opened and several more customers came in. I needed to get Mr. Satan out of here, or he was going to scare off my customers. I needed to do something about Claud, ignoring him obviously was doing nothing for me.
There was a few ways to get rid of annoying vampires. One, find a werewolf who’d take care of the pest, two, bury them in a hole, or three, cave into their requests. I didn’t know any werewolves, plus they were smelly, a hole would be nice, but I was afraid Claud would find his way out of it. Or cave. No. Definitely not caving into his requests. The man turned to my new customers, and I knew what he was about to say.
“She is a pawn of Satan! Don’t eat her evil sweets!” he ranted, and then continued to say more things. I looked at the new people and could see it in their eyes; they were about to head out the door running. I grabbed the man by the arm, who was screaming, calmly led him to the exit, and looked into his eyes.
“Listen to my voice. You will never come here again. You will live a normal, boring human life, and never think about vampires again.”
The man nodded, his eyes turning a perfect shade of white.
I walked back inside.
“I’m sorry about that. How can I help you?”
The customers ordered and I was busy for awhile filling their requests. Why did I feel so off today? Had it been the intensity of the itch that had made me want to snap? I needed a good long bath, cuddles with Kitty, and Karaoke with my best friends. I do enjoy company sometimes, so I have made a cluster of semi-close friends, who will go out with me anytime anywhere. I’m not sure if it’s because they actually like my company, or the fact that I can entice them to hang out with me, whatever it is, I don’t care.
I needed to relax, get myself to loosen up, and do something completely humanly stupid.