It was an entire month before Erik and Sonya decided to give Ruby private lessons for her power. She'd heaved a giant sigh of relief when they'd told her. She was tired of getting nowhere with it. One day, as she was following the breathing techniques and movements as one of the fire users, she thought she felt a flicker of something. As if the sky was tugging at her. But it was gone before she could do anything about it.
"Okay," Erik said after the day of classes ended. He sat down heavily on a wooden chair with Sonya beside him and asked, "What is it you feel when you go to conjure?"
They stood in a small room off of the kitchen with a small wooden table and two chairs and a fire pit. The walls were made up of brick and the entire area smelled stale. She sighed, "I feel nothing."
The vampires exchanged looks. She had felt little of anything the past month, had been like a well-oiled machine moving through her days. Halle, while still in pain, seemed to be doing a lot better than Ruby. She'd made plenty of friends and was getting invited to go to little room parties while Ruby either spent her nights in her room or the chapel, hollow.
"Try," Sonya said, smiling softly. Her dark eyes were filled with concern, but Ruby couldn't abate it.
Releasing another, long sigh, she closed her eyes. The room fell silent and all she heard was her slow steady breaths. Feel your heart beating. She felt it. Then when she was completely calm inside of herself, Ruby tried to feel that tug again. It didn't come. A spark of irritation rose in her but she shoved it down.
Come, she thought, trying to find that tug again. Come.
Something stirred within her. The tug came. She reached for it greedily with her mind. Please, she begged it, please. The feeling vibrated through her like a cool, night breeze. She grasped for it and -
It disappeared.
Ruby growled and whirled on them, "Why is it not coming to me?"
"Easy," Erik said, offering his hands up in surrender, "it will. With time."
"With time? It's been an entire month and I've gotten nowhere!"
"Ruby. Please, calm down."
She bit her tongue. She didn't want to calm down. This was the only emotion she'd experienced in a long time. One that was entirely uncomfortable, but welcome all the same. Ruby was tired of feeling so empty all the time. But. . .pieces of her were missing. One big one in particular and she wasn't sure she wanted to feel its loss.
All anger drained from her so rapidly that her knees buckled and she crashed down into her chair. Head in her hands, Ruby released a deep breath, "I'm sorry."
"We know it's hard," Sonya said softly, "I promise you will get it."
Erik sat back in his seat, watching her carefully, "We will work with you until you get it. We will try anything and everything to get you there. But I need you to promise me that you will do your best and not waste our time."
"Of course," Ruby rushed out, "I promise."
He nodded, "Okay, good. How about we try to relax you? Maybe it will be easier to grab the power with your emotions soothed."
She watched as he shook some loose tea leaves out of a jar and into a brewing pot on the fire pit. The room soon grew so hot that human her would have been slick with sweat. However, this new her relaxed in it. She watched the flames dance, letting her body slump.
Once it was finished, Erik poured them each a cup and they sat in silence sipping their tea. Eventually, Ruby's limbs were like string, strung over the chair. By her tenth yawn, he took her cup and had her try again.
Ruby closed her eyes, trying not to fall asleep, and found the tug again. She reached for it and it reached for her, kissing her mind with it's gentle breeze. She could see it in her mind. Bright stars and writhing darkness in between.
The pull of it came from somewhere outside of her. With a deep breath, Ruby imagined pulling an invisible line of cord closer to her with the power at the other end. The closer it got to her though, the more the feeling began to fade. And once it was gone, Ruby was too exhausted to feel anything.
"Next time," Erik said.
She left the kitchen and joined Halle, Katrina, and Jeremy at dinner. As they sat, discussing their day, more and more people began to fill their table and Halle's attention was suddenly entirely occupied. Ruby twirled her empty bottle in her palms, watching the light dance off of the leftover shimmers inside.
"Are you going, Ruby?" Kat asked suddenly.
Ruby's head whipped up to find all eyes on her, "Sorry, to what?"
A couple of the girls giggled, "To the party!"
"Oh, that." The party was a small gathering in one of the ballrooms with music, an assortment of food, and cute dresses. Ruby wasn't sure what it was for but the others had claimed that parties, game nights, and tournaments were thrown all throughout the year to keep everyone entertained.
"It's just to distract us from the war," one of Halle's friends, Rachel, had muttered when the party was announced.
Ruby shrugged, "Maybe."
"Oh come on," Halle whined. She grabbed Ruby's hand and stared at her beseechingly, "it's just one night. A little bit of fun."
"I'm just not in the party mood."
Halle's lips flattened. In a low voice she asked, "Can I talk to you?" Confused, Ruby nodded. She followed as Halle stood and walked out to the hall. Once they were out of earshot she said, "Ruby, why are you doing this alone?"
Ruby flinched at the sudden harsh tone,"Doing what alone?"
"Mourning."
She cringed, "I'm handling it."
Halle sighed, "You've stopped talking to us and you spend all of your time in the chapel."
"So?" Ruby snapped, suddenly angry, "I lost the five people I cared about most. How am I supposed to act?"
"I'm not-" Halle took a sharp breath. Shaking her head she said, "I just don't want you isolating yourself. It isn't good for you. You'll never move on if you continue to shut me out."
Ruby knew she should back down, that Halle was right, but she couldn't help feeling angry that they were having this conversation. "Is that what you call it? You are only distracting yourself, Halle. How is that moving on?"
Her eyes narrowed, "I'm mourning in my own way."
"So am I."
"Fine," she said, tossing up her hands, "don't forget that you are the only one I have, Ruby. Keep pushing everyone away and see where it gets you!"
She shoved past Ruby, shaking her head, and stormed back into the cafeteria.
Ruby didn't move for a long moment, staring dumbly at the path Halle had burned.
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